Re: tolerance

[Guest guest]

I'm 'laughing' here, and just shaking my head....cause what else can

you do when you read about a nada's blatant oblivion to reality?

Let's revisit that 'nada' island concept. Just get 'em all together

and airlift them to their own island. (And lose the coordinates?)

Sylvia - having a little fun fantasizing about what to do about

nadas.

>

> My parents at one time attended a church that prided itself on

being

> tolerant. I went there once, and saw a whole wall plastered with

> information presenting one side of a controversial political

issue.

> There was not a single thing presenting the other side. I asked my

> mother, " How can this church be tolerant and only present one side

> of the issue " ? She replied, " Because the other side is not

> tolerant " .

>

> - Dan

[Guest guest]

--- Dan wrote:

---------------------------------

> My parents at one time attended a church that

> prided itself on being tolerant. I went there

> once, and saw a whole wall plastered with

> information presenting one side of a controversial >

political issue. There was not a single thing

> presenting the other side. I asked my mother, " How

> can this church be tolerant and only present one

> side of the issue " ? She replied, " Because the

> other side is not tolerant " .

Dan

That's funny!

It makes me think of my situation at work with my boss

who is spookily like my nada. I chose to work there

after 12 years of being happily self-employed such was

the attraction of being all good in the eyes of

someone who, I think, has BP. Now that I'm all bad,

she finds points of dispute all the time. I have tried

to get her to see that my point of view is different

to hers and works better for me whilst hers works

better for her. But she cannot see it. As far as she's

concerned, there is her way and wrong ways. Our

managers are very frustrated by her inability to

embrace more than one point of view and are trying to

intervene as it is making my job impossible to do.

It is interesting that splitting is what happens with

groups of people as you mentioned above. I think the

parallel of collective splitting like this and the

BP's similar tendency at times is because of identity

issues. My nada needs to take her negative self image

and project it onto others - she is scared that her

identity is collapsing all the time. Groups by

definition have weak idenity as in reality the views

of its members will differ. So they present sides. We

are on this side, you are on that! This is such a

distortion of reality and another example of

camouflage for nada. She says I am naive and

idealistic all the time: she justifies her behaviour

by saying that this is how the world is and in some

ways, our dysfunctional world is gripped by fear,

anger and stupid greed just like her - so she has a

point.

But I don't think she feels in step with the world at

all. She continually hearkens back to her imaginary

post-war utopia of the 1950's when she was in her 20s,

young and as glamourous as Audrey Hepburn. The world

then was heavenly perfection, she says. She likes to

ask me with a slightly twisted look, " Why were there

no gays then? " I try to explain that they were mostly

in hiding but as far as she's concerned, she couldn't

see them so they didn't exist.

Phil

Send questions and/or concerns to

ModOasis-owner

" Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs,

can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and

for the table of contents, go to:

http://www.BPDCentral.com

---------------------------------