, please don't assume....OT

August 6, 2004

" This is something that goes beyond what you or anyone else who

hasnt lived it could even begin to comprehend. The whole issue of

someone killing themself just cannot be compared to any other thing

or understood by anyone outside of it.

You probably mean well but . But your not going to get it. You

couldnt and dont want to. Its not your average little family

problem. I dont wnat to talk about it anymore. period. "

,

Another problem with web boards is that we can't know everything

about each other...

Why do you presume that I know nothing of the pain and sadness

involved when someone you love commits suicide? Or attempts suicide

but is unsuccessful?

I do get it.

I am not telling you what to do in your situation. I am sharing what

has been real for me. This is just how I have dealt with the horror

of suicide.

*My boyfriend, Tom, attempted suicide. I got to him before the pills

could take affect. I was 17 at the time, he was 16.

*My college roommate- attempted suicide after she was raped. The

police did not admit her to a hospital, just told me to make sure

she didn't choke and die before morning.

*My cousin, Cheri, who left behind a small child.

*My friend 's brother- because he couldn't handle the pressure

after their other brother was killed in a MVA.

*My friend Judy's mother. Judy was 17 and became the surrogate Mom

to her 3 siblings.

*My boyfriend Tom's Mother- a wonderful, intelligent woman who did

more than anyone I have ever known by volunteering her time and

gathering her friends to help find a cure for AIDS.

These are just a handful of people in my life whose attempts and

whose successful suicides have deeply been engraved in me and are a

part of my existence. Suicide, it seems, has always been a part of

my life.

Plus I have the continuous verbal threats from my Nada that maybe

that is what she should do- this is usually after she has accused me

of being a rotten daughter, that no one cares about her, the world

is against her, etc.

Yeah, I do get it.

Di.

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