Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 hi all. I have not heard a word from sis re: mom in hospital or her condition. I think sis is going to withhold info to punish me. I don't care. I really just want to be left alone. I asked sis to keep me posted and then realized, what is the point? It is too difficult to hear my mom is sick and realize I still can't be around her. I would be better off not knowing. I may tell her that if she ever calls. That would be a big step, one I NEVER thought I could make. First I never thought I could end contact and then I went thru the first year of holidays, etc. and now to not visit when she is in the hospital. If I tell my sis to never contact me re: my mom then that might be the end of it. Sis sounded tired and angry toward me for not helping anymore and she thinks we should forgive and be there for family, etc. but she doesn't understand where I am. Anyway, I am tired today. I really felt alone in the sense that I have no family anymore. I am still protecting my space and my self tho, and that is all I have the energy for today. Any comments would be great, I feel confused and then things seem clear again and I feel okay about it and then I feel bad, just a tough day.....thanks for being here, I appreciate that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 > > hi all. I have not heard a word from sis re: mom in hospital or her > condition. I think sis is going to withhold info to punish me. I > don't care. I really just want to be left alone. I asked sis to keep > me posted and then realized, what is the point? It is too difficult > to hear my mom is sick and realize I still can't be around her. I > would be better off not knowing. I may tell her that if she ever > calls. That would be a big step, one I NEVER thought I could make. > First I never thought I could end contact and then I went thru the > first year of holidays, etc. and now to not visit when she is in the > hospital. If I tell my sis to never contact me re: my mom then that > might be the end of it. Sis sounded tired and angry toward me for not > helping anymore and she thinks we should forgive and be there for > family, etc. but she doesn't understand where I am. Anyway, I am > tired today. I really felt alone in the sense that I have no family > anymore. I am still protecting my space and my self tho, and that is > all I have the energy for today. Any comments would be great, I feel > confused and then things seem clear again and I feel okay about it > and then I feel bad, just a tough day.....thanks for being here, I > appreciate that. , Our situations are very similar. I just went through my first holiday season without spending time with nada or my father. I also have a sister who remains in contact with our parents. I get the same feelings - feeling okay and then feeling bad. Something about feeling okay....I never did feel okay about myself when I was around nada! No matter what I did, I was still not okay. When I am not around her, I have the sometimes okay, sometimes not okay feelings. I think that is an improvement. It is actually strange at times to feel okay. Sometimes I say to myself, " Hey! This is the way 'normal' people feel most of the time. How unusual! " . It does seem to take alot of energy just to protect yourself and your space. I guess that is because we are expending the energy to take care of ourselves AND having to expend energy to overcome fleas or FOG at the same time. Double whammy! FWIW, I think you are better off taking care of yourself instead of being hoovered into getting involved with your mom if you are not ready to do so. Good luck - Be kind and gentle to yourself - Sylvia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 , I think it's commendable that you have reached a point where you are actually doing what your soul cries out for, despite what anyone might think. I hate the confusing stuff--- the tug-o-war between what you want, and what you or others think you should do. Holding you in the light, > > hi all. I have not heard a word from sis re: mom in hospital or her > condition. I think sis is going to withhold info to punish me. I > don't care. I really just want to be left alone. I asked sis to keep > me posted and then realized, what is the point? It is too difficult > to hear my mom is sick and realize I still can't be around her. I > would be better off not knowing. I may tell her that if she ever > calls. That would be a big step, one I NEVER thought I could make. > First I never thought I could end contact and then I went thru the > first year of holidays, etc. and now to not visit when she is in the > hospital. If I tell my sis to never contact me re: my mom then that > might be the end of it. Sis sounded tired and angry toward me for not > helping anymore and she thinks we should forgive and be there for > family, etc. but she doesn't understand where I am. Anyway, I am > tired today. I really felt alone in the sense that I have no family > anymore. I am still protecting my space and my self tho, and that is > all I have the energy for today. Any comments would be great, I feel > confused and then things seem clear again and I feel okay about it > and then I feel bad, just a tough day.....thanks for being here, I > appreciate that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 , At the risk of sounding cliche-ish; When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!! You're doing great. Everything you're feeling is normal. You are definitely doing the right thing, as hard as it is. Hugs to you ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Love and Blessings, Tammy > > hi all. I have not heard a word from sis re: mom in hospital or her > condition. I think sis is going to withhold info to punish me. I > don't care. I really just want to be left alone. I asked sis to keep > me posted and then realized, what is the point? It is too difficult > to hear my mom is sick and realize I still can't be around her. I > would be better off not knowing. I may tell her that if she ever > calls. That would be a big step, one I NEVER thought I could make. > First I never thought I could end contact and then I went thru the > first year of holidays, etc. and now to not visit when she is in the > hospital. If I tell my sis to never contact me re: my mom then that > might be the end of it. Sis sounded tired and angry toward me for not > helping anymore and she thinks we should forgive and be there for > family, etc. but she doesn't understand where I am. Anyway, I am > tired today. I really felt alone in the sense that I have no family > anymore. I am still protecting my space and my self tho, and that is > all I have the energy for today. Any comments would be great, I feel > confused and then things seem clear again and I feel okay about it > and then I feel bad, just a tough day.....thanks for being here, I > appreciate that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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