Re: ADHD again...Debbie

[Guest guest]

> Tammy,

> You said you had a big problem with organization. Do/Did you have

problems with organization in other areas? You sound a lot like me in

that area also. I cannot seem to organize my house no matter how hard

I work. I just can't seem to figure out how to get it done right and

I am bad about not keeping it done. I am not filthy, but I see big

areas where I could improve.

Debbie,

OMG! Do I ever have problems with organization in other areas!!!!!

You discribed my house perfectly! Like you, I'm certainly not what I

would call a BAD housekeeper, but it could use a lot of improvement.

I'm REALLY picky about the kitchen and bathrooms, so they are usually

clean, but the rest of it kind of goes to pot. Funny though, two

things I'm downright anal about are my spice cabinet and my CD

collection. Everything is in alphabetical order. I HATE being in

the middle of a great recipe and have to hunt for the tarragon or

whatever, so I alphabetize them. Same with the music. I don't want

to spend all day looking for the CD I want, so I organize them by

artist and title, in that order. Otherwise, my house definitely has

that 'lived in' look about it. Part of it is because my German

Shepherd is a house dog (they don't last long as outside dogs here in

Florida) and BOY does she shed!!!! Add on an 11-yo boy who prefers

pretend games to video games so there's always dog and kid toys on

the floor. I'm not complaining about that, though. I much rather my

son play with his GI Joes and legos than those stupid video games.

Also, my dog doesn't destroy anything because she has almost as many

toys as my son! lol! I spoil my family too much, I know. I just

can't make myself be one of those picky housekeepers. I've tried,

and I just seem to come across as a b***h. I don't like myself when

I get like that. I think I remind myself too much of my mom when I

get like that. She never did housework, because she always made us

do it. Was your mom like that, too? Just curious.

Tammy

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

OMG! Do I ever have problems with organization in other areas!!!!!

You discribed my house perfectly! Like you, I'm certainly not what I

would call a BAD housekeeper, but it could use a lot of improvement.

I'm REALLY picky about the kitchen and bathrooms, so they are usually

clean, but the rest of it kind of goes to pot. Funny though, two

things I'm downright anal about are my spice cabinet and my CD

collection. Everything is in alphabetical order. I HATE being in

the middle of a great recipe and have to hunt for the tarragon or

whatever, so I alphabetize them. Same with the music. I don't want

to spend all day looking for the CD I want, so I organize them by

artist and title, in that order. Otherwise, my house definitely has

that 'lived in' look about it. Part of it is because my German

Shepherd is a house dog (they don't last long as outside dogs here in

Florida) and BOY does she shed!!!! Add on an 11-yo boy who prefers

pretend games to video games so there's always dog and kid toys on

the floor. I'm not complaining about that, though. I much rather my

son play with his GI Joes and legos than those stupid video games.

Also, my dog doesn't destroy anything because she has almost as many

toys as my son! lol! I spoil my family too much, I know. I just

can't make myself be one of those picky housekeepers. I've tried,

and I just seem to come across as a b***h. I don't like myself when

I get like that. I think I remind myself too much of my mom when I

get like that. She never did housework, because she always made us

do it. Was your mom like that, too? Just curious.

Tammy

My step-dad was a real prick about anything I did. If he came in from work and

I was cleaning he'd beat my ass because my mother hadn't told me to do it. If he

came in and I wasn't working he'd beat my ass because I wasn't helping. We

weren't allowed to have toys, so we never had any unless we invented them

ourselves. We had to wear our clothes 2 days in a row no matter how dirty they

got the first day. We had a time limit in the bathroom for a bath. We went to

bed by 7 pm no matter how old we were. My mother would lock us out of the house

and if we wanted a drink of water we had to use the water hose. I had to take

care of my little brothers while we were outside. By the time I was old enough

to do any housework, I was not living at home. But I do remember having a couple

of cats when I was growing up and we did not have a litter box, so they crapped

in a box of clothes. The times I stayed with my mother in later years I can

remember having to pick clothes out of the dirty clothes to put on cause they

were cleaner than the ones I had on.

We were not allowed to have anything in the living room. I refused to stay

home much. I would just take off for 3 or 4 days at a whack. I would come home

long enough to eat a sandwhich and sleep for 12 hours then I would take off

again. She was a better housekeeper back when I was little, because my

step-adopted dad was a real clean nut. If he had known about the cat crap, he

would have had a fit. When she didn't clean the house he would do it himself.

Nothing stayed dirty in our house when he was around, except our clothes.But he

was a real stickler in that we would have clean clothes at least every other

day. When he was around we had necessities. But after he left, no matter who

mother was with or wasn't with, we always went without food for 2 weeks of the

month, (or just beans and taters) we rarely had electricity, hot water, toilet

paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, personals, or a towel to dry on when we could

take baths. The baths when we could take them were usually cold water baths.And

like I said we rarely had clean clothes. Hell we were lucky to have underwear,

bras, and shoes. We normally only had 2 or 3 outfits of clothes to wear. Now you

know I go way over board on how many clothes my kids have. And there are just

things that we don't do without. My kids have never known a day without

utilities or other necessities. I was rarely every taken to the Dr when I was

sick, my kids go to the Doctors now. I do not let them suffer. I can clean

house, But We just have way too much stuff and I am afraid to get rid of any of

it because we may come upon hard times again and need it. So I buy bulk when I

can. I buy extra when I can. I bought a years worth of shampoo and creme rinse

at one time. Of course I got it for a dime each too. I stock up on toilet paper

and each child not only gets a new toothbrush about every 3 months and after

every illness, but they also get their own tube of toothpaste. I do make my kids

do housework, but not all of it. They are each given 1 major chore and 1 easy

one. If I deep clean a room everyone, that can, does help. At one time I would

go through the kids toys and separate them up into categories and everything had

to be in its container. The kids would dump them out every day and blend them

together and I would sort them out every day and put them together. I don't do

that any more. If they don't keep them out of public areas of the house, they go

into the garbage. IF I only had one kid that would be different, but I have 5

kids at home until next month then that will drop to 4.

When I was a kids I was a real stickler when it came to my stuff. Every thing

had to be neatly organized and my bedroom was kept spotless. My choice, no one

made me do it. I couldn't stand one thing out of place. I still can't stand it.

I guess that was because that was the one place that was mine and I wanted it as

pleasant as I could have it. I spent a lot of time in that room. It was where I

went to cry a lot. I had to know that there was one place I could go that

represented a place of peace when the rest of my life was hell and chaos. I need

a place like that now really bad.

I did go to a spot that gave the criteria for ADHD earlier today and although

I have a couple of the symtoms. I mostly match something that is called OCPD.

They have 8 symtoms listed and I matched 6 of them.When I was a kids I matched

the OCD perfectly,I had to force myself to break all those habits that go with

it. I guess that I have expanded and now I have personality to go with it. Oh

well, I'd rather have personality than many other things.

By the way, I have my video collection in numerical order. My cd's have to be

filed according to category only because alphabetizing them won't work. However

numerical order will work and thats my next step. I guess a like numbers better

than the alphabet.

Debbie K.

Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

" Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Oh, I forgot to tell you that I keep all my cats in the house because the

neighbor threatened to shoot them all. He had already shot one of them and I

expected him to do just what he said. I am a real stickler about it though in

the fact that the litter box has to be done 2 x's a day and swept and mopped

under 2 x's a day. I buy the really good cat litter and the cat food that

balances the ph so that keeps my house from stinking so bad. I also air my house

every chance I get. I cannot stand a house that smells like animals. Our 3 dogs

stay outside because 2 of them came to us un potty trained. The 3rd one we got

as a puppy and she is well trained. But she is very attached to one of the

other dogs and so we leave her outside with them. She would whine all night for

her bucky, he's her best doggie friend in the whole world. He is the worlds

worst for marking everywhere when he comes inside or to any other new place. We

have to let him go potty right outside the vets office or he would mark inside

it too.

Debbie k.

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

One more thing. Where do you live in Florida? I was born and raised there. I

have lived all over Polk, and Hardee counties as well as other places. We moved

a lot when I was growing up. I lived there up until about 9 or 10 yrs ago. I

have to have green plants and lots of room between me and the neighbors. And I

hate living in House Trailers.

Debbie K.

Re: Re: ADHD again...Debbie

Debbie,

OMG! Do I ever have problems with organization in other areas!!!!!

You discribed my house perfectly! Like you, I'm certainly not what I

would call a BAD housekeeper, but it could use a lot of improvement.

I'm REALLY picky about the kitchen and bathrooms, so they are usually

clean, but the rest of it kind of goes to pot. Funny though, two

things I'm downright anal about are my spice cabinet and my CD

collection. Everything is in alphabetical order. I HATE being in

the middle of a great recipe and have to hunt for the tarragon or

whatever, so I alphabetize them. Same with the music. I don't want

to spend all day looking for the CD I want, so I organize them by

artist and title, in that order. Otherwise, my house definitely has

that 'lived in' look about it. Part of it is because my German

Shepherd is a house dog (they don't last long as outside dogs here in

Florida) and BOY does she shed!!!! Add on an 11-yo boy who prefers

pretend games to video games so there's always dog and kid toys on

the floor. I'm not complaining about that, though. I much rather my

son play with his GI Joes and legos than those stupid video games.

Also, my dog doesn't destroy anything because she has almost as many

toys as my son! lol! I spoil my family too much, I know. I just

can't make myself be one of those picky housekeepers. I've tried,

and I just seem to come across as a b***h. I don't like myself when

I get like that. I think I remind myself too much of my mom when I

get like that. She never did housework, because she always made us

do it. Was your mom like that, too? Just curious.

Tammy

My step-dad was a real prick about anything I did. If he came in from work

and I was cleaning he'd beat my ass because my mother hadn't told me to do it.

If he came in and I wasn't working he'd beat my ass because I wasn't helping. We

weren't allowed to have toys, so we never had any unless we invented them

ourselves. We had to wear our clothes 2 days in a row no matter how dirty they

got the first day. We had a time limit in the bathroom for a bath. We went to

bed by 7 pm no matter how old we were. My mother would lock us out of the house

and if we wanted a drink of water we had to use the water hose. I had to take

care of my little brothers while we were outside. By the time I was old enough

to do any housework, I was not living at home. But I do remember having a couple

of cats when I was growing up and we did not have a litter box, so they crapped

in a box of clothes. The times I stayed with my mother in later years I can

remember having to pick clothes out of the dirty clothes to put on cause they

were cleaner than the ones I had on.

We were not allowed to have anything in the living room. I refused to stay

home much. I would just take off for 3 or 4 days at a whack. I would come home

long enough to eat a sandwhich and sleep for 12 hours then I would take off

again. She was a better housekeeper back when I was little, because my

step-adopted dad was a real clean nut. If he had known about the cat crap, he

would have had a fit. When she didn't clean the house he would do it himself.

Nothing stayed dirty in our house when he was around, except our clothes.But he

was a real stickler in that we would have clean clothes at least every other

day. When he was around we had necessities. But after he left, no matter who

mother was with or wasn't with, we always went without food for 2 weeks of the

month, (or just beans and taters) we rarely had electricity, hot water, toilet

paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, personals, or a towel to dry on when we could

take baths. The baths when we could take them were usually cold water baths.And

like I said we rarely had clean clothes. Hell we were lucky to have underwear,

bras, and shoes. We normally only had 2 or 3 outfits of clothes to wear. Now you

know I go way over board on how many clothes my kids have. And there are just

things that we don't do without. My kids have never known a day without

utilities or other necessities. I was rarely every taken to the Dr when I was

sick, my kids go to the Doctors now. I do not let them suffer. I can clean

house, But We just have way too much stuff and I am afraid to get rid of any of

it because we may come upon hard times again and need it. So I buy bulk when I

can. I buy extra when I can. I bought a years worth of shampoo and creme rinse

at one time. Of course I got it for a dime each too. I stock up on toilet paper

and each child not only gets a new toothbrush about every 3 months and after

every illness, but they also get their own tube of toothpaste. I do make my kids

do housework, but not all of it. They are each given 1 major chore and 1 easy

one. If I deep clean a room everyone, that can, does help. At one time I would

go through the kids toys and separate them up into categories and everything had

to be in its container. The kids would dump them out every day and blend them

together and I would sort them out every day and put them together. I don't do

that any more. If they don't keep them out of public areas of the house, they go

into the garbage. IF I only had one kid that would be different, but I have 5

kids at home until next month then that will drop to 4.

When I was a kids I was a real stickler when it came to my stuff. Every

thing had to be neatly organized and my bedroom was kept spotless. My choice, no

one made me do it. I couldn't stand one thing out of place. I still can't stand

it. I guess that was because that was the one place that was mine and I wanted

it as pleasant as I could have it. I spent a lot of time in that room. It was

where I went to cry a lot. I had to know that there was one place I could go

that represented a place of peace when the rest of my life was hell and chaos. I

need a place like that now really bad.

I did go to a spot that gave the criteria for ADHD earlier today and

although I have a couple of the symtoms. I mostly match something that is called

OCPD. They have 8 symtoms listed and I matched 6 of them.When I was a kids I

matched the OCD perfectly,I had to force myself to break all those habits that

go with it. I guess that I have expanded and now I have personality to go with

it. Oh well, I'd rather have personality than many other things.

By the way, I have my video collection in numerical order. My cd's have to

be filed according to category only because alphabetizing them won't work.

However numerical order will work and thats my next step. I guess a like numbers

better than the alphabet.

Debbie K.

Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

" Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I live in Manatee County. I've been here since 1997. I grew up in

Texas and we moved about once every other year or so all over Irving

in Dallas County. My house here is in a subdivision where the houses

are too close to one another for my taste, so I know what you mean

about liking lots of room between us and the neighbors. Luckily, for

the most part I like my neighbors. Still, my husband and I plan to

move to a house with some land, probably when our son is a little

older. My dad wants to buy a house trailer here on the Manatee River

to retire in. I've been helping him look. I hate them too, but my

dad can't afford to buy a house and his tastes are much simpler than

mine.

Your mom sounds a lot worse than mine in that it sounds like she

couldn't take care of herself, much less her kids. It must have been

horrible for you. I had periods of peace that lasted months or

years, but even during those times when I actually got my needs met

at least to some degree, I never knew when she was going to declare

me 'bad' again and I never knew how long it was going to last. A lot

of the time, she basically used my brother's to do her dirty work.

Your cat box (lack of one) reminded me of one horrific memory. We

had this cat that wouldn't use the litter box and we went out of town

for my grandmother's funeral. When we got back, the cat had s**t all

over the floor behind the door in my bedroom (his favorite spot).

When we got home, the house REEKED. My mom was all pissed and went

stomping through the house looking for the mess. When she looked

behind the door, besides the messes the cat had made, she discovered

that my door knob was broken off. That happened when my brother was

trying to beat the crap out of me (I don't remember why - not that it

matters - he was always doing that) and I put a chair under the door

knob to keep him out of the room. He forced the door open and broke

the knob. Guess who got beat up for the broken door knob? It sure

as hell wasn't him! I didn't get my ass beat, I got my whole body

beat! So, on top of being in mourning over my grandmother, who was

the most important person in my life at that time, I had to deal with

my mother's rage. I thought she was going to kill me. To this day,

I still have 'cat-box issues'. It takes every bit of self control I

have to clean the cat box. I know it's silly, but I can't seem to

get over it.

This has really helped me alot. One of the things I'm working on is

trying to sort out what's ADHD, PTSD, and what's just

plain 'normal'. It sounds like maybe my disorganization issues are

more a PTSD thing than an ADHD thing. Lack of organization is a

major symptom of ADHD, but it's also a result of growing up in pure

chaos, I think. Thanks for your insights.

Tammy

> Tammy,

> One more thing. Where do you live in Florida? I was born and raised

there. I have lived all over Polk, and Hardee counties as well as

other places. We moved a lot when I was growing up. I lived there up

until about 9 or 10 yrs ago. I have to have green plants and lots of

room between me and the neighbors. And I hate living in House

Trailers.

> Debbie K.

> Re: Re: ADHD again...Debbie

>

>

>

> Debbie,

>

> OMG! Do I ever have problems with organization in other

areas!!!!!

> You discribed my house perfectly! Like you, I'm certainly not

what I

> would call a BAD housekeeper, but it could use a lot of

improvement.

> I'm REALLY picky about the kitchen and bathrooms, so they are

usually

> clean, but the rest of it kind of goes to pot. Funny though,

two

> things I'm downright anal about are my spice cabinet and my CD

> collection. Everything is in alphabetical order. I HATE being

in

> the middle of a great recipe and have to hunt for the tarragon

or

> whatever, so I alphabetize them. Same with the music. I don't

want

> to spend all day looking for the CD I want, so I organize them

by

> artist and title, in that order. Otherwise, my house

definitely has

> that 'lived in' look about it. Part of it is because my German

> Shepherd is a house dog (they don't last long as outside dogs

here in

> Florida) and BOY does she shed!!!! Add on an 11-yo boy who

prefers

> pretend games to video games so there's always dog and kid toys

on

> the floor. I'm not complaining about that, though. I much

rather my

> son play with his GI Joes and legos than those stupid video

games.

> Also, my dog doesn't destroy anything because she has almost as

many

> toys as my son! lol! I spoil my family too much, I know. I

just

> can't make myself be one of those picky housekeepers. I've

tried,

> and I just seem to come across as a b***h. I don't like myself

when

> I get like that. I think I remind myself too much of my mom

when I

> get like that. She never did housework, because she always

made us

> do it. Was your mom like that, too? Just curious.

>

> Tammy

>

> My step-dad was a real prick about anything I did. If he came

in from work and I was cleaning he'd beat my ass because my mother

hadn't told me to do it. If he came in and I wasn't working he'd beat

my ass because I wasn't helping. We weren't allowed to have toys, so

we never had any unless we invented them ourselves. We had to wear

our clothes 2 days in a row no matter how dirty they got the first

day. We had a time limit in the bathroom for a bath. We went to bed

by 7 pm no matter how old we were. My mother would lock us out of the

house and if we wanted a drink of water we had to use the water hose.

I had to take care of my little brothers while we were outside. By

the time I was old enough to do any housework, I was not living at

home. But I do remember having a couple of cats when I was growing up

and we did not have a litter box, so they crapped in a box of

clothes. The times I stayed with my mother in later years I can

remember having to pick clothes out of the dirty clothes to put on

cause they were cleaner than the ones I had on.

> We were not allowed to have anything in the living room. I

refused to stay home much. I would just take off for 3 or 4 days at a

whack. I would come home long enough to eat a sandwhich and sleep for

12 hours then I would take off again. She was a better housekeeper

back when I was little, because my step-adopted dad was a real clean

nut. If he had known about the cat crap, he would have had a fit.

When she didn't clean the house he would do it himself. Nothing

stayed dirty in our house when he was around, except our clothes.But

he was a real stickler in that we would have clean clothes at least

every other day. When he was around we had necessities. But after he

left, no matter who mother was with or wasn't with, we always went

without food for 2 weeks of the month, (or just beans and taters) we

rarely had electricity, hot water, toilet paper, toothbrushes,

toothpaste, personals, or a towel to dry on when we could take baths.

The baths when we could take them were usually cold water baths.And

like I said we rarely had clean clothes. Hell we were lucky to have

underwear, bras, and shoes. We normally only had 2 or 3 outfits of

clothes to wear. Now you know I go way over board on how many clothes

my kids have. And there are just things that we don't do without. My

kids have never known a day without utilities or other necessities. I

was rarely every taken to the Dr when I was sick, my kids go to the

Doctors now. I do not let them suffer. I can clean house, But We just

have way too much stuff and I am afraid to get rid of any of it

because we may come upon hard times again and need it. So I buy bulk

when I can. I buy extra when I can. I bought a years worth of shampoo

and creme rinse at one time. Of course I got it for a dime each too.

I stock up on toilet paper and each child not only gets a new

toothbrush about every 3 months and after every illness, but they

also get their own tube of toothpaste. I do make my kids do

housework, but not all of it. They are each given 1 major chore and 1

easy one. If I deep clean a room everyone, that can, does help. At

one time I would go through the kids toys and separate them up into

categories and everything had to be in its container. The kids would

dump them out every day and blend them together and I would sort them

out every day and put them together. I don't do that any more. If

they don't keep them out of public areas of the house, they go into

the garbage. IF I only had one kid that would be different, but I

have 5 kids at home until next month then that will drop to 4.

> When I was a kids I was a real stickler when it came to my

stuff. Every thing had to be neatly organized and my bedroom was kept

spotless. My choice, no one made me do it. I couldn't stand one thing

out of place. I still can't stand it. I guess that was because that

was the one place that was mine and I wanted it as pleasant as I

could have it. I spent a lot of time in that room. It was where I

went to cry a lot. I had to know that there was one place I could go

that represented a place of peace when the rest of my life was hell

and chaos. I need a place like that now really bad.

> I did go to a spot that gave the criteria for ADHD earlier

today and although I have a couple of the symtoms. I mostly match

something that is called OCPD. They have 8 symtoms listed and I

matched 6 of them.When I was a kids I matched the OCD perfectly,I had

to force myself to break all those habits that go with it. I guess

that I have expanded and now I have personality to go with it. Oh

well, I'd rather have personality than many other things.

> By the way, I have my video collection in numerical order. My

cd's have to be filed according to category only because

alphabetizing them won't work. However numerical order will work and

thats my next step. I guess a like numbers better than the alphabet.

>

> Debbie K.

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of

contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

>