Re: disR-E-S-P-E-C-T

[Guest guest]

Thought I'd share some writing from my blog/writer's group. Let me just say that

I don't think this sort of behavior should happen anywhere. But because I work

in NY, it became all about not tolerating disrespectful behavior in NY. Go

figure. I say the strangest things when I get angry. Then again, maybe this sort

of stuff ONLY happens in New York.

***

Oh where to begin?

I started off with a morning packed full with patients. My first patient at 8:30

AM was a young guy who came to his appointment about ten minutes late. My

secretary informed me that he was taking time to “fill out the paperwork

because he’s too busy talking on his cellphone.†Already my pet peeve button

has been pushed, but I am a professional, and I have to take the ebbs and flow

of the idiosyncrasies of my patients as they come. So, already twenty minutes

have been wasted and I now have only twenty minutes to see a patient, where

normally it takes forty minutes. I introduce myself in the waiting room,

“Hello, my name is Dr. Mandal, it’s nice to meet you.†The patient comes

with me to the examination room and we begin. As I am talking to him about his

medical history, the story of his acid reflux, his cell phone rings. To my

amazement, he interrupts me mid-sentence and proceeds to speak with his friend

, albeit only a few seconds, but

managing to interrupt my train of thought. I overlook this and proceed, but

then we are interrupted again by that pesky vibrating sound and he interrupts me

one more time. He says [to his girlfriend], I’m in the doctor’s office,

yeah, okay, I actually have to go because I think she’s getting very upset.â€

YOU THINK?!?!?

I tell him, while he’s on the phone, “You know, you’re very very

disrespectful and I don’t appreciate you wasting my time.†He looks at me in

disbelief like I’ve slapped him across the cheek and responds, “Well, I had

to let my girlfriend know that I was here and how to get here.†I reply,

“You know I don’t really care why but you’ve managed to interrupt me

twice. You delayed this appointment by speaking on your cell phone and not

listening to the instructions that my secretary provided you.†He again

responds, “But I had to speak with my girlfriend.†I reiterate that it

doesn’t matter to me the reasons behind the interruption and state, “If you

can’t manage to come to this office and respect me then it’s probably best

if we end this appointment now. You can pick up your co-pay at the secretary’s

desk.†He doesn’t budge but looks like he’s just been hit by a car.

He hasn’t left the room so I proceed with the rest of the interview and

examination. I am seething but I manage to remember that I am a doctor and

it’s my job to provide the best medical care to my patients, even if they

disrespect me, even if I don’t particularly like them. He tells me the

complete story about his acid reflux and I decide to do some bloodwork and an

electrocardiogram as part of the check-up. I instruct him to change into a gown

and say that I will come back to the room in two-three minutes.

When I come back, he has changed into the gown, although the front of the gown

is in the wrong place. That’s okay. My plan from here on is complete the exam

without losing my temper even more. But then he says, “You know, you could

have been nicer about the whole thing. I mean, if you felt that I was

disrespecting you, you could have said it in a nicer way.â€

I say, with my New York attitude in full form, “EXCUSE ME?!†I do what I

always do when I get angry, I cock my head and look at him out of the corner of

my eye, something that I realize my father does also. “Let me tell you

somethingâ€, I say, all the while trying to remember to breathe deeply. “I

don’t ask my patients to respect me, I demand it. And if you don’t know what

that means, then it’s not my job to tell you nicely how to behave.†I can

feel my pulse throbbing in my neck and my temples. “Out of the thousand odd

patients that I have, you are the only person I have had to reprimand.†“I

guess I’m specialâ€, he retorts sarcastically. I retort, “You know buddy,

this is New York. If you want to take your rudeness and waste other people’s

time elsewhere, be my guest. But not in New York. Not in this office. And NOT ON

MY TIME.†I continue, “Maybe you have never been told about your

disrespectful behavior but I’m

telling you now. If other people tolerate it, that’s their responsibility,

but I will not.â€

We finish with the physical exam and I draw his blood and do an EKG. Everything

looks okay. I look him in the eye and tell him that his exam is normal but I

will call him in a few days to let him know the results of his bloodwork.

There’s no more drama or discussion about what just transpired between us. We

bid each other farewell.

[Guest guest]

I have this one patient that uses his cell phone in the exam room

quite a bit. He is always on the edge of breaking up with his girlfriend, and

she often calls him crying, and he has to deal with it. I've found it pretty

interesting to listen in on their conversations, I can usually hear her voice on

the other end via his cell phone. Usually, if he gets an emergency call, I can

use my exam room computer to look at my incoming Rx refills and get a few of

those done or catch up on writing the notes for his visit while he talks. He

always apologizes, and I guess we've kind of worked things out, since he's been

my patient for about 18 years now. Goodness knows, I've kept him waiting many

times.

>

> Interesting responses from I should be nicer and gentler to I was too gentle.

>  

> Everything that was written was true, but this paragraph is an experiment for

part of a chapter for a book I'm writing. I just wanted to see what emotions I

stir up, and it definitely seems that it has.

>  

> I am a daredevil. You should know that by now.

>  

> Any writer who can stir up controversy is always interesting, no?

>  

> Who knows, there may be a little piece on IMP included in there too!

>  

> Thank you!

> Soma

>  

>