Re: 15 year old - no interests

[Guest guest]

How about biking? When my son was younger he loved his bike. He's not the least bit athletic and has never been interested in any type of sport or physical activity but he could ride his bike for hours. We live in a small town where it is safe to ride all over the neighbourhood during the day and I think he enjoyed the solitude as much as the biking! Unfortunately he got older and isn't into it as much which is bad because he needs the exercise!!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Re: Re: 15 year old - no interests

This is exactly how it is in my house. 2 Auties and Me the Aspie and an NT hubby. I dunno how he puts up with us, but all 3 of them are gamers, and my youngest (7) has driven us nuts with the I can't finish it, do it for me. I had to tell both my hubby and oldest NOT to do that, let him either work it out or find a different game. I'm not a gamer, but a book reader (love my Nook Color), and a computer person. I have struggled over the years with guilt about the alone time spent on games and computers, but since coming to grips about why we do it, I'm not as bad about it now. I still require reading time with the youngest, game nights with real board games, even though he's the tantrum king if he loses. I've had to teach him to say Good Game if he loses, though many times he does it through tears, but we get through it. My oldest has a whole network of friends on the 360 that he plays games with and talks to. BOTH of them do very well, or as best they can, socially at school and online. My youngest isn't allowed to talk online due to the swearing issue that other kids/adults do on there, as he's a repeater. I heard him beeping himself where swear words should be, so I cut him off from games with that sort of thing in them, and told him no online talking cuz those people use naughty words and you repeat them, and we don't do that in this house.Ashton (mom with Aspergers with two Autistic sons)

My 13yo aspie son is a total gamer. We limit how much time he gets to spend on them, but as long as he keeps his grades up, and gets his chores done, we're not too hard on him.One thing that a lot of people outside of our world don't really understand, is that he finds a social outlet in them as well, when we allow him to play online. He's learning how to talk to people appropriately, how to share talking time, and how to communicate team work. He has always loved games. When he was 4, I picked up a used gamecube from someone in a near by city. I didn't know how to hook it up, and my husband was sick in bed with the flu. My son got impatient, and while I was picking my older daughter up from school the next day, he figured out how to hook it up, and was playing it by the time we got home.We have run into melt downs over getting stuck and being unable to finish a game. My husband would work with him on problem solving for the issue he was having at the time, and let HIM work out how to try and solve it. If he melted down again, then game time was simply over. Over the years, he's long since moved past the point where he would have melt downs over not being able to do a game. Now, if he gets stuck, he looks up hints online, tries to problem solve it, or as a last result, ends the game and picks a different one.I'll also admit, with 2 aspies AND a teenager in the house, it's gotten easier over the past year to seperate the kids by pointing one at the computer, one at the video games, and one at my husband's computer. We do try to limit time wise, but if chores are done, homework is done, and everyone is being good, I'll totally let it slide.Why? No arguing kids, no kids telling the other one what they SHOULD be doing, no kids getting stubborn and argumentative, and no kids being antagonistic towards the others. My piece of mind is TOTALLY worth an extra hour of game time. >> > > I know computer games are controversial, we are OK with them because my son's high ADHD actually responds to the medium. > > Anyway, he is really taken with this as a hobby:> http://www.yoyogames.com/gamemaker/windows> > I will warn you though- he has total meltdowns when he can't figure out how to do what he wants. There are Youtube tutorials out there that help. > > The games Terraria and MineCraft are open ended creative type games that also include battling monsters, etc. DS enjoys these and it is possible to play online with others in some circumstances. > > We use a tightly controlled (by us) server that allows a few other kids on at a time. We set the rules so that DS can handle the interaction and since it's ours, we can turn off the server (evicting everyone) if things go poorly. > > DS is very fact-oriented. He loves searching Wiki for information on topics to teach his younger siblings. Very geeky- but what about D & D? The best players have to remember loads of data. Most comic book stores have a club of D & D or some other card based game going.>

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[Guest guest]

Both my boys are late bike riders.  Both afraid to fall off due to lack of balance, both falling or tripping a lot.  I was the same way. I cannot ride a bike today because I can't balance on it.  BUT my oldest asked me yesterday if we can try family bike riding, which he does ride a bike now, tho he has fallen several times, mostly due to weather issues.  My youngest hasn't learned to ride yet, but I think this summer (he's 7), we are going to work on getting him a bike so he can learn.  We now live in a nice neighborhood, so riding will work.  I am going to look into an ole lady trike since I can't balance to save my life. 

I can't let him go out and ride alone because we do live in an area with a high number of sex offenders in our area because we don't have a law that prohibits them from living neaer schools or parks.  In Feb, 2 children in our school district were confronted by men in cars asking if they wanted rides, it was posted to us in our school emails to keep an eye on our children walking to and from schools.  He will go off with anyone, he has no fear of people.  Even though we have stressed the stranger danger issues, he will go off with anyone who shows him any attention.

I'm going to be looking into seeing if we can get a petition going to change the 3 mile rule for offenders near schools or parks.  We need to protect our kids, especially those on the spectrum who cannot understand the need to not talk to people they don't know.

Ashton

 

How about biking?  When my son was younger he loved his bike. He's not the least bit athletic and has never been interested in any type of sport or physical activity but he could ride his bike for hours. We live in a small town where it is safe to ride all over the neighbourhood during the day and  I think he enjoyed the solitude as much as the biking! Unfortunately he got older and isn't into it as much which is bad because he needs the exercise!!

 

Estevan, SK

Canada

 

 

 

 

-- Re: Re: 15 year old - no interests

 

This is exactly how it is in my house.  2 Auties and Me the Aspie and an NT hubby.  I dunno how he puts up with us, but all 3 of them are gamers, and my youngest (7) has driven us nuts with the I can't finish it, do it for me.  I had to tell both my hubby and oldest NOT to do that, let him either work it out or find a different game.  I'm not a gamer, but a book reader (love my Nook Color), and a computer person. 

I have struggled over the years with guilt about the alone time spent on games and computers, but since coming to grips about why we do it, I'm not as bad about it now.  I still require reading time with the youngest, game nights with real board games, even though he's the tantrum king if he loses.  I've had to teach him to say Good Game if he loses, though many times he does it through tears, but we get through it. 

My oldest has a whole network of friends on the 360 that he plays games with and talks to.  BOTH of them do very well, or as best they can, socially at school and online.  My youngest isn't allowed to talk online due to the swearing issue that other kids/adults do on there, as he's a repeater.  I heard him beeping himself where swear words should be, so I cut him off from games with that sort of thing in them, and told him no online talking cuz those people use naughty words and you repeat them, and we don't do that in this house.

Ashton (mom with Aspergers with two Autistic sons)

 

My 13yo aspie son is a total gamer. We limit how much time he gets to spend on them, but as long as he keeps his grades up, and gets his chores done, we're not too hard on him.One thing that a lot of people outside of our world don't really understand, is that he finds a social outlet in them as well, when we allow him to play online. He's learning how to talk to people appropriately, how to share talking time, and how to communicate team work.

He has always loved games. When he was 4, I picked up a used gamecube from someone in a near by city. I didn't know how to hook it up, and my husband was sick in bed with the flu. My son got impatient, and while I was picking my older daughter up from school the next day, he figured out how to hook it up, and was playing it by the time we got home.

We have run into melt downs over getting stuck and being unable to finish a game. My husband would work with him on problem solving for the issue he was having at the time, and let HIM work out how to try and solve it. If he melted down again, then game time was simply over. Over the years, he's long since moved past the point where he would have melt downs over not being able to do a game. Now, if he gets stuck, he looks up hints online, tries to problem solve it, or as a last result, ends the game and picks a different one.

I'll also admit, with 2 aspies AND a teenager in the house, it's gotten easier over the past year to seperate the kids by pointing one at the computer, one at the video games, and one at my husband's computer. We do try to limit time wise, but if chores are done, homework is done, and everyone is being good, I'll totally let it slide.

Why? No arguing kids, no kids telling the other one what they SHOULD be doing, no kids getting stubborn and argumentative, and no kids being antagonistic towards the others. My piece of mind is TOTALLY worth an extra hour of game time.

>> > > I know computer games are controversial, we are OK with them because my son's high ADHD actually responds to the medium.

> > Anyway, he is really taken with this as a hobby:> http://www.yoyogames.com/gamemaker/windows> > I will warn you though- he has total meltdowns when he can't figure out how to do what he wants. There are Youtube tutorials out there that help.

> > The games Terraria and MineCraft are open ended creative type games that also include battling monsters, etc. DS enjoys these and it is possible to play online with others in some circumstances. >

> We use a tightly controlled (by us) server that allows a few other kids on at a time. We set the rules so that DS can handle the interaction and since it's ours, we can turn off the server (evicting everyone) if things go poorly.

> > DS is very fact-oriented. He loves searching Wiki for information on topics to teach his younger siblings. Very geeky- but what about D & D? The best players have to remember loads of data. Most comic book stores have a club of D & D or some other card based game going.

>

 

 

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