Need to vent

[Guest guest]

OCD group? I've never heard of that. How does it work?

Marilyn, you are stressing yourself over things you can't control and don't need

to control. I empathize with you because I'm in the same sort of situation.

The social ineptitude is hard to watch--I'm not sure it is all OCD, but maybe it

is. Once Dan hit puberty, he became profoundly social, and that's a problem on

the other extreme.

Hang in there and do something that will make you feel good about yourself--like

eating fruit or veggies, not candy. If you have any in the house. We have

about 20 inches also, so we're stuck here too. And my husband put his back out

last week, so it is up to Dan and me to shovel our humongous driveway so that

maybe someday I'll be able to get my car to the road. Dan actually helped quite

a bit after I pulled my " poor old feeble mom has to do it all " routine. He's in

no great physical shape either. Another kid beat him up 2 days ago, and we

spent much of yesterday in the emergency room. This too shall pass.

Judy

Need to vent

Hi to everyone,

It is snowing here like crazy and we are getting at least 25

inches!!! Well my son has been in this ritual of he can't be

touched and if you do he needs to wipe it off. His eyes are also

blinking like all the time. We have been adjusting to new meds yet

again and he has been like a bear. His friend is over and he just

asked me if he could leave because they aren't doing anything. I

feel bad for his friend to hear him say that and also, we have

plenty to do here it is just that NEVER wants to do much of

anything except play games on his computer. He will go out in the

snow tommorrow but not for long. I use to be able to not get him in

when he played out in the snow. But, those days are long gone. I am

feeling so down today and can't stand his attitude. He will have to

miss his OCD group and his OCD doctor appointments now because of

the weather. He needs all the help he can get. I feel like doing the

wrong thing and that is eatting lots of candy!! I will then feel bad

about myself for doing that.I am trying to have will power but it is

not easy.. Thanks for listening. Marilyn

[Guest guest]

Dear Donna,

I feel so sorry for you! My son is the same way. He will only wear one kind

of short, shirt, shoe, sock....everything in his life must be the same. He is

highly sensitive to the feel of things. This also carries over to smells,

tastes etc. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I buy plenty of duplicates and hope that the

store will continue to carry the same item year after year. I've said this

before, I have a stack of shoes in my sons closet 3 feet high in every size

they make to get him through. You have to ask her to try a new clothing item

for say 30 seconds, then let her take it off and work up to wearing the item

all day! It might take days or longer to get her to wear a new item. She will

be very uncomfortable and you need to have her tell you on a scale of 1-10

how she is doing. She NEEDS to be uncomfortable for that time each time she

tries and eventually she will master a new clothing item.

As for your husband, he is being a PILL! He needs to see an OCD Dr. so he

can understand what you all are going through. Did you read the book Freeing

Your Child From OCD? What a great book! by Tamara Chansky (I hope I spelled

her name right) and make your husband read it first!

Good luck,

Beverly in CA

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna,

I remember when my son would only wear green clothes for two years! We also

had to cut out all the tags and get only 100% cotton clothes, my daughter

wears most of her socks inside out.

I received an e-mail today that discusses Tourettes in relation to a possible

B1 and Magnesium deficiency by Frances Jurnak. I'd be happy to send a copy of

the whole article if you'd like. I don't know much about this myself but

intend to do some research. Here's a copy of one paragraph that stood out:

in MA

" Physicians, especially pediatricians, are no longer trained to recognize the

clinical symptoms of vitamin B1/Mg deficiency. Symptoms of mild B1 deficiency

include nausea, lack of appetite, irritability, depression, fatigue, lack of

energy, lack of automatic reflexes 2-3 hours after a meal, and rage tantrums

4-6 hours after a meal. With prolonged B1 deficiency, the peripheral nervous

system is affected, leading to mental confusion as well as to muscle

coordination problems, particularly in the eyes and extremities. In children,

these symptoms are displayed as visual processing learning disabilities,

dyslexia, fine motor skill problems, inability to focus, excessive

daydreaming, inability to notice fine details, clothing sensitivities (eg

socks), numbness in hands/feet, and/or motor/vocal tics, particularly those

involving the eyes/face. Most children do not exhibit all of the B1-deficient

symptoms, thus it may be difficult to recognize. In some children, the

aggregate symptoms may appear to be hypoglycemia, in layman's terms, but not

in the strictest definition of the medical disorder. In families with a

history of alcoholism, children often exhibit symptoms of ADHD (mixed

inattentive and hyperactivity type), visual learning disabilities and,

depending upon the severity of the B1/Mg deficiency, tics. The problems are

likely due to a genetic defect in a metabolic process that utilizes vitamin

B1. A B1/Mg deficiency may also be responsible for some cases of

hyper-insulinism (a form of pre-diabetees) and for the hyperactive sugar

effect seen in some children. If a low-carbohydrate diet ameliorates some

behavioral problems, then a B1/Mg deficiency should be suspected. "

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I know other parents here have gone thru things like that, they might

have some recommendations, maybe even one of the meds might help this.

One thing you could try is to get her evaluated by an occupational

therapist. They can have good success at things like this (that bit

about won't wear as they bother her), but like meds/OCD, it's not an

overnight answer. Also, if you can get her to try, some parents have

had success in getting their child to wear one of those " bothersome "

shirts/pants/socks...for a few minutes each day, trying to build up

time (get thru the anxiety bit) before taking the clothing off. Even

if this problem is more " OCD " than any " sensory integration " issue,

it might be worth a try. If you can get her evaluated or get a

doctor to write a prescription for an eval, etc., then insurance

might even cover.

(non OCD) is my son who has tendencies like this. Right now, I

guess to to the season, he wants ONLY long sleeve shirts, no short

sleeve. He tends to go back/forth on these issues over the years.

Back in elementary school (he's in 8th now) he went thru an entire

hot summer in only jeans, wouldn't wear shorts. I think he tends to

get used to the feeling of, say, long sleeves during the cold season

and hates the different feeling of short sleeves or something. But

so far it's not been a big deal, tho I did worry about heat stroke or

something that one year. His issue, too, was more that it was for

protection on the playground or skating or whatever, so he wouldn't

scrape up his knees, etc.

Hang in there, I know how crazy and tired this can make you!

>

> I don't know if I can handle one more day of this! My daughter is

11 and has

> OCD and possible intermittent explosive disorder. She is in therapy

and is

> currently taking paxil. The medication has helped the rages, but

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I can really relate to what you wrote. If I had a dollar for every

time I've said I can't handle another day of this...I have a 12 year

old daughter with severe OCD and probably also bipolar, and I remember

writing on her application to preschool when she was 3 years old that

she has trouble handling change, has difficulty with transitions, is

highly sensitive, etc. She's not a heck of a lot better at these

issues now at 12, maybe worse. Among other things, I go to a special

sock store to get special soft seam socks for her, I travel long

distances to get shoes she will wear, I order special extra soft cotton

clothes through Land's End catalog for her, etc., etc. My other child

who does not have OCD will wear almost anything, and at age 5 handles

change and transitions much better than her older sister. One thing

that has worked for me is to get her multiple sets of the same item of

clothing - sometimes in different colors -, so that she is usually

wearing clothes that feel the same every day. The puberty hormones

really turned the situation from mild OCD, which was not diagnosed, to

severe OCD. When she was younger, she used to be able to wear

different clothes, etc., but I've given up on that issue now for being

able to get her to have clothes to wear. Would your daughter cooperate

if you got a bunch of pairs of those pants that she is willing to wear?

You don't have a discipline problem, but, rather, a neurological

problem that is no one's fault. I've spent years of having some people

be critical of myself and my husband as not setting adequate limits

with our OCD child, being too critical or too wishy-washy or too

whatever. It's so hard to be blamed, and you did not cause this. Is

the therapy regular therapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy specialized

for OCD? Does your doctor know a lot about treating OCD? Our children

need help to get better to cope with the real world. Please know

that there are other parents out there with similar children who can

relate to what you are going through, even if many people don't

understand. It sounds like you are a very hardworking, dedicated

mother, and that you deserve a lot of credit, not blame. Good luck.

Miriam in NY

In , " Donna Stone " <Imtheone2002@m...>

wrote:

>

> I don't know if I can handle one more day of this! My daughter is 11 and has

> OCD and possible intermittent explosive disorder. She is in therapy and is

> currently taking paxil. The medication has helped the rages, but doesn't

> seem to help the OCD.

> One of her major issues, is that she can't handle change. This includes the

> area of dress. She is in private school and wears uniforms. However, she

> won't wear anything else. She only will wear one pair of pants, that I am

> constantly sewing and washing. She has so many other clothes, but won't wear

> them, because they " bother her " . Every single day is a complete struggle

> with her. Does anyone else have a child who acts similar?

> I feel completely overwhelmed, and I only have one child with OCD. Those out

> there with more than one child afflicted, I don't know how you are able to

> handle it.

> My husband is no support. He wants me to have her placed in a residential

> program. I refuse to, I keep clinging to the hope that there is something

> else that will help.

> Others, feel this is a discipline problem. I am so tired of having the blame

> being cast on me.

> Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks for listening.

>

> Donna

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8.

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[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son has the same problem with clothing. I have found a solution

for him, which may help. He needs his clothing to feel right, usually

this means it must be tight. I found some silk long underwear on a

website and ordered them. My son will now wear them under his

clothing and his wardrobe has increased unbeleivably! As for socks he

wears my nylon knee socks under his crew socks. It is an ordeal or

him to dress and put everything on so it feels " just right " but at

least I am not sewing an resewing one pair of pants, shirt and socks

anymore. The website is www.nznature.com

Hope it works as well for you!

Anne....Jake 9, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD

> In a message dated 2/28/2003 7:32:47 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> miriam55@o... writes:

>

>

> > Among other things, I go to a special

> > sock store to get special soft seam socks for her, I travel long

> > distances to get shoes she will wear, I order special extra soft

cotton

> > clothes through Land's End catalog for her, etc., etc.

>

> I saw this and about fell over! We buy all of my son's clothes from

Lands End

> too! He will only wear the jersey polo and the rugby shorts.

Tonight I was

> looking in their new catalog and am panicing because I don't see

the jersey

> shorts. Last season the narrowed them down to about 3 colors. Gym

colors.

> They used to have them in all kinds of colors.

>

> Beverly in CA

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son's tics are really bad tonight. He seems to have added some to the

mix all of a sudden. He's now doing a rooster move as he walks...and he's

screaming " shut up, shut up, shut up " to no one in particular. This is all

new as of today.

I need to cry. :-(

--Tina

[Guest guest]

Tina,

Maybe I'll join you!

went thru an OCD episode just a little while ago. Couldn't

get through " whatever " it was and was hitting himself in the head and

covering his mouth to scream (I've in the past fussed at him for his

loud groaning or whatever it actually is he does as he gets

frustrated, so he's covering his mouth when he does it), crying (real

tears!) and not telling me a THING as to exactly what is going on.

That is so frustrating to me!! I don't know if it's because his foot

was stuck (had it off the bed touching the side of the mattress;

sometimes he has trouble getting his legs on the bed); or if he had

some terrible thought(s) going through his head or some silly thought

he had to repeat or....

He's finally calm in MY room and I need to get him up and get him

into HIS bed which just might cause another meltdown, SIGH, as he if

doesn't get on the " right " way he has to get back up and try again

and again and again...! Then when he's finally on the bed he just

lays there with his eyes shut tight and doesn't move; like that til

he falls asleep. But at least I KNOW what's going on then, it's when

I don't and he's hitting his head or something else and groaning and

crying that just drives ME crazy!

I will say that the other night his older brother Randall did get us

all to laugh, at least made smile (with his eyes closed).

was getting on his bed, off his bed, on his bed.... Randall

tore up some sheets of paper and wrote a 9 on one, 10 on the other.

When got on the bed for the LAST time (he got it right

finally) Randall held up the " 9 " on that and told him he had to get

back off and try again until he got a 10! Then he told he

was gonna be ready next time and made more sheets with all the other

numbers. It WAS funny!

I don't know of anything today that was particularly MORE stressful.

I go to work tomorrow and it's the kids first day home for the

summer. I DREAD it for my mom (who we live with) and still has no

concept of OCD!!

Hang in there!

> My son's tics are really bad tonight. He seems to have added some

to the

> mix all of a sudden. He's now doing a rooster move as he

walks...and he's

> screaming " shut up, shut up, shut up " to no one in particular.

This is all

> new as of today.

>

> I need to cry. :-(

>

> --Tina

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for posting. I *really* needed to see your words

of understanding tonight.

just went to sleep about 20 mins ago (FINALLY)...and on the couch. He

generally settles down, once he lays down...but his tics continued until he

was fast asleep. I don't know what set today off. I know he was stressing

about everything (the pet rabbits being in their outside cage, a particular

toy he couldn't find, checking his email, not finding the 'right' present

for a friend of his...and on and on and on). On the surface, it sounds like

fairly normal 'kid stuff'...but, when he's to the point of screaching so

loud his nose bleeds, hitting himself in the chest, shouting at " no one " and

having to walk like a rooster...I just feel like breaking down sometimes.

Tomorrow is another day...and I bet he'll wake up and not have a tic,

obsession or compulsion all day!

Hang in there, (and everyone)...there has to be a reason why we're all

going through this! ;-)

--Tina

> Tina,

> Maybe I'll join you!

>

> went thru an OCD episode just a little while ago. Couldn't

> get through " whatever " it was and was hitting himself in the head and

> covering his mouth to scream (I've in the past fussed at him for his

> loud groaning or whatever it actually is he does as he gets

> frustrated, so he's covering his mouth when he does it), crying (real

> tears!) and not telling me a THING as to exactly what is going on.

> That is so frustrating to me!! I don't know if it's because his foot

> was stuck (had it off the bed touching the side of the mattress;

> sometimes he has trouble getting his legs on the bed); or if he had

> some terrible thought(s) going through his head or some silly thought

> he had to repeat or....

>

> He's finally calm in MY room and I need to get him up and get him

> into HIS bed which just might cause another meltdown, SIGH, as he if

> doesn't get on the " right " way he has to get back up and try again

> and again and again...! Then when he's finally on the bed he just

> lays there with his eyes shut tight and doesn't move; like that til

> he falls asleep. But at least I KNOW what's going on then, it's when

> I don't and he's hitting his head or something else and groaning and

> crying that just drives ME crazy!

>

> I will say that the other night his older brother Randall did get us

> all to laugh, at least made smile (with his eyes closed).

> was getting on his bed, off his bed, on his bed.... Randall

> tore up some sheets of paper and wrote a 9 on one, 10 on the other.

> When got on the bed for the LAST time (he got it right

> finally) Randall held up the " 9 " on that and told him he had to get

> back off and try again until he got a 10! Then he told he

> was gonna be ready next time and made more sheets with all the other

> numbers. It WAS funny!

>

> I don't know of anything today that was particularly MORE stressful.

> I go to work tomorrow and it's the kids first day home for the

> summer. I DREAD it for my mom (who we live with) and still has no

> concept of OCD!!

>

> Hang in there!

>

>

>

>

> > My son's tics are really bad tonight. He seems to have added some

> to the

> > mix all of a sudden. He's now doing a rooster move as he

> walks...and he's

> > screaming " shut up, shut up, shut up " to no one in particular.

> This is all

> > new as of today.

> >

> > I need to cry. :-(

> >

> > --Tina

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Tina and (((hugs))) I hate the tics for some reason worse than Os and Cs.

They make her *look* impaired and " not right. " How's that for shallow. Kel

much prefers tics to Os and Cs though she does sometimes complain of the

all-over itchy feeling when the tics are bad.

Kel was really ticcy today too--grimacing, mouth-stretching, and migrating

muscle-tensing that makes her look like she's straining/shivering periodically.

I have no idea why today, nothing is different or has changed. Usually the

Risperdal keeps her tics all but gone.

Weirdly she had a really good day all day, little or no anxiety or OCD, relaxed

patient pleasant demeanor, " real " Kel instead of the edgy, hyper OCD version.

Sometimes the OCD and tics seem to be taking turns.

I hope tomorrow is better for you both.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: Tina - AffordableHOST.com

My son's tics are really bad tonight. He seems to have added some to the

mix all of a sudden. He's now doing a rooster move as he walks...and he's

screaming " shut up, shut up, shut up " to no one in particular. This is all

new as of today.

I need to cry. :-(

--Tina

[Guest guest]

)...there has to be a reason why we're all

going through this!

WELL, if I was 20 yrs younger, I'd think it was so I could become a

psychologist or someone involved with these disorders, special

kids/LDs. But then if I was 20 yrs younger, that means I'd have had

my first kid when I was age 7 and then at 11. Doesn't quite

work out! And after dealing with the school system these past years

I thought of a parent advocate. Who knows? Maybe it was to keep my

life from being TOO boring since work/home/kids is about all I have

time for!