Re: choices

[Guest guest]

good luck doris, i hope it works, it did for us with dad most of the time and if

taht failed which was usally about taking baths he thought once a week was fine

no mattre what he did in his pants, we had a good back up plan.

my best friend here in pensacola jennie whose mother is early stages of lbd, we

would call her as my dad loved jennie and since she lost her dad several years

ago, she adopted my dad. well we would call her without dad hearing us and she

would call us back adn talk to dad (she would call on his phone) and say hey i

am on yoru side of town i will come see you for just a few minutes to day ok.

boy he was so ready to get cleaned up then, and she always came over, brought

him a candy bar or somethihng and commented to him how nice and handsome he

looked he ate it up, she got ot come see us for a few minutes, i got dad ot

bathe and he was none the wiser lol,

hugs sharon

Date: 2005/10/23 Sun PM 10:45:57 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: Re: dropping blood pressure/Stevie and Doris

Hi Sharon,

That's an excellent suggestion. I had seen it before on an Alzheimer's tape and

I'm a teacher so I know about doing that with kids, but had forgotten it in

terms of mom. As I said earlier I am just realizing now that she is not

rational so the choice thing is a very good idea. Will try that. Thanks

Doris

LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote:

doris,

oh boy can i relate to your email, daddy would scream to me at the top of his

lungs that i am ont his mama and to quit treating mhim like a baby, he screamed

so loud one time the neighbors came to check on us, talk about embarassing.

what was suggested to me by hospice was instead of 'telling dad what to do' to

treat himn like you would a terrible two or threes, we gave daddy choices, like

he hated showers and that was befre hospice came and bathed him everyday,

would you like to take your shower now or in ah hour before lunch. alwyas he

would say later, so when latre came, and he would fight me again i wuodl say do

you want to take you shower now, or not eat lunch, well he always wanted to eat,

so the answer was now. that helped some, i hope it helps you, hugs sharon m

Date: 2005/10/22 Sat PM 04:21:26 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: dropping blood pressure/Stevie and Doris

Hi

I think you are right. I have begun to realize lately that there is no point in

rationalizing with her about anything because she either forgets or reacts

totally irrationally to whatever the suggestion or situation is. She is really

trying to assert her independence and as most of you probably know this makes it

very difficult to help her. She told me that she was tired of everyone treating

her like a baby. If she knew how much we really back off she would be

surprised. So I've started to learn not to coax, reason or suggest. But it's

hard especially when I know that what I suggest would be helpful in the long

run. Thanks for answering me. Take care. doris in Mississauga near Toronto

Canada

Cowie wrote:

Mum is probably in the middle stage of LBD.

So far BP is ok but has always been high so who knows?

Your comments about lethargy fit Mum perfectly!!

She has lost interest in church, crafts, and just about everything else she used

to take part in.

I swear if there was a fire in the house she would not move from her favourite

chair but would tell me to turn on the a/c!!

Carpe Diem

---------------------------------

Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

Now that Hospice canceled this much awaited " assessment " until tomorrow, I

have two questions. (1). Should I tell my Unc that it is Hospice that will be

assessing him? I have been telling him that a nurse is going to come to the

house and help us instead of having to go to the doctors every month. At this

time he does not know that it is Hospice. And...(2). Good grief! Do I let

them come to assess him on his birthday, which is tomorrow???? Read below what

kind of day it's been so far! Help! Peace? Stevie

* * * * * * * * * * *

O M G! They canceled! Of all days in the world! My Unc had another

" sleeping " episode today and didn't/couldn't get out of bed until 2:30 PM (an

hour

ago). This time I didn't panic. I just checked on him every hour until he

finally opened his eyes and said he wanted to get up. Now Hospice is coming

tomorrow ....and it's his birthday. ? Stevie

* * * * * * * *

Hi Stevie,

It's good that you have the Hospice coming. I hope they will have better

reaction than the doctor and find a resolution to the BP problem. Good Luck.

Doris

[Guest guest]

Thank you ! I WILL give him a hug from you!

I decided to not tell him now and see where it takes us. After I wrote my

last email to this group this afternoon, the guys (waiters & cooks, at his

favourite restaurant where I ordered the cake, are now going to deliver the

chocolate cake to him personally and sing happy birthday. I think he will like

that.

Peace to you, Stevie

P.S.....yes, things DO happen for a reason, don't they Sandie?! LOL

* * * * * * * * * *

Stevie,

Absolutely let them come to check the BP - Unc's birthday or not.

Only you can decide whether to introduce her/him as a nurse or as a Hospice

person.

Talk to the nurse about what to say.

Give Unc a birthday hug for me, please.

If he grumbles blame it on the weather!

[Guest guest]

Thank you Sharon....Yes he will not be favourable to the H word one bit. I

finally talked him in to letting just a " nurse " come and visit. I have

arranged a surprise for him tomorrow afternoon (read previous emails : ) and

hopefully that will get his mind off of everything for a while. Thanks

again...Peace,

Stevie

* * * * * * * *

stevie

how do you think he will react to 'hospice' many people are teh mind that

they only come when you are dying, if that is what they think tell him that a

home nursing agency i s coming to help take care of him .

my dad did not know it was hopsice at first, but later saw one of their

badges that said hospice on it, but i had explained ot him that since he wasnt

able to go to eh doctor anymore for his checkups that the doctor wanted hospic

checking on him and that they would call him with all the updates, and he was

fine with that, as he hated leaving his bed and bedroom.

as for the birhtday, tell the nurse that is his birthday, she/he may be able

to work that in, like for your birthday we just wanted ot ocme out here and

see how youre doing, etc. may help

good luck hugs sharon m

[Guest guest]

Hello again Courage,

He truly needs to be told that she is a Nurse....for now. Thank you so much

for your input. It makes me feel better about it! Peace, Stevie

* * * * * * * * * *

Hi Stevie,

Here's how I would handle it: if I thought that the word " hospice " and

all its meanings would upset mom I would tell her a fib and tell her its

a nurse. I think its one of those situation where you have to gauge how

the person reacts to news.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Stevie,

Absolutely let them come to check the BP - Unc's birthday or not.

Only you can decide whether to introduce her/him as a nurse or as a Hospice

person.

Talk to the nurse about what to say.

Give Unc a birthday hug for me, please.

If he grumbles blame it on the weather!

Carpe Diem

---------------------------------

Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

stevie

how do you think he will react to 'hospice' many people are teh mind that they

only come when you are dying, if that is what they think tell him that a home

nursing agency i s coming to help take care of him .

my dad did not know it was hopsice at first, but later saw one of their badges

that said hospice on it, but i had explained ot him that since he wasnt able to

go to eh doctor anymore for his checkups that the doctor wanted hospic checking

on him and that they would call him with all the updates, and he was fine with

that, as he hated leaving his bed and bedroom.

as for the birhtday, tell the nurse that is his birthday, she/he may be able to

work that in, like for your birthday we just wanted ot ocme out here and see how

youre doing, etc. may help

good luck hugs sharon m

From: juperant@...

Date: 2005/10/24 Mon PM 06:40:04 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: choices

Hello All,

Now that Hospice canceled this much awaited " assessment " until tomorrow, I

have two questions. (1). Should I tell my Unc that it is Hospice that will be

assessing him? I have been telling him that a nurse is going to come to the

house and help us instead of having to go to the doctors every month. At this

time he does not know that it is Hospice. And...(2). Good grief! Do I let

them come to assess him on his birthday, which is tomorrow???? Read below what

kind of day it's been so far! Help! Peace? Stevie

* * * * * * * * * * *

O M G! They canceled! Of all days in the world! My Unc had another

" sleeping " episode today and didn't/couldn't get out of bed until 2:30 PM (an

hour

ago). This time I didn't panic. I just checked on him every hour until he

finally opened his eyes and said he wanted to get up. Now Hospice is coming

tomorrow ....and it's his birthday. ? Stevie

* * * * * * * *

Hi Stevie,

It's good that you have the Hospice coming. I hope they will have better

reaction than the doctor and find a resolution to the BP problem. Good Luck.

Doris

[Guest guest]

Hi Stevie,

Here's how I would handle it: if I thought that the word " hospice " and

all its meanings would upset mom I would tell her a fib and tell her its

a nurse. I think its one of those situation where you have to gauge how

the person reacts to news.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Stevie,

They have been dubbed " Loving Lies. "

Donna R

Re: choices

Hello again Courage,

He truly needs to be told that she is a Nurse....for now. Thank you so much

for your input. It makes me feel better about it! Peace, Stevie

* * * * * * * * * *

Hi Stevie,

Here's how I would handle it: if I thought that the word " hospice " and

all its meanings would upset mom I would tell her a fib and tell her its

a nurse. I think its one of those situation where you have to gauge how

the person reacts to news.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Thank you Donna R....I will remember that when they show up today at 1:00. :

) Peace, Stevie

* * * * * * * *

Stevie,

They have been dubbed " Loving Lies. "

Donna R

Re: choices

Hello again Courage,

He truly needs to be told that she is a Nurse....for now. Thank you so much

for your input. It makes me feel better about it! Peace, Stevie

* * * * * * * * * *

Hi Stevie,

Here's how I would handle it: if I thought that the word " hospice " and

all its meanings would upset mom I would tell her a fib and tell her its

a nurse. I think its one of those situation where you have to gauge how

the person reacts to news.

Courage