Re: DNRS adn comments about them

[Guest guest]

Our lawyer sums up DNR, etc. like this. If your terminal Loved One falls

down the stairs and starts bleeding, you can't just leave him there to die just

because he has a Living Will or DNR. There are still humane choices to make,

especially if the LO says " yes " . You did the right thing Sharon.

* * * * * * * * *

we had a dnr (do not resusciate) on dad, but i also had medical directive on

dad meanin i had the power to make all decisions on dad. when dad had his

pulmonary embolyis and was gasping to try to breathe and yes he was dying, they

didnt want to put the respirator in as we had a dnr on him, i asked dad if he

wanted teh respirator in and he shook his head yes, teh doctor looked at me and

said you are voiding the dnr and i shouted yes he wants to live, put the damn

thing in. so for that hosp we voided the dnr, and i am glad i did, it after

all his life and his choice not mine, it is a whole different story when

someone is haivng problmes breathing and dying then when they have aheart

attack

and you dont want to them to be revived.sigh, dont know what got me on this

topic, i guess i needed to vent sorry hugs sharon

[Guest guest]

So sorry you had to go through that. Sending hugs.... : ) Stevie

* * * * * * * *

thanks stevie, i know i made the right decision, however, my aunt, his

sister, gave me hell for having the respirator put in, she said she wouldnt have

done it, i told her to 'get your ass down here and sign his death warrant

because

i want, i did what he wanted' she repied that he didnt understand what he was

gettinghimself into.

then i said 'i am glad i have poa over dad, i did what was right, i will send

him up to you, and you can tell him no len, i wont let you do it, i want to

watch you die,' and i hung up, it took about 1 week before she had the nerve

to call me back and tell me that i did the right thing.i think my mom called

her, as i called venting to my mother, and my mother called and let my aunt

have it. course at that time my aunt had her hands full iwth her and dad;s mom

in

the nursing home and her husband in another , but still, that is a hell of a

thing to say to me.

i still stand behind what i did, and will till teh day i join daddy. hugs

sharon m

[Guest guest]

we had a dnr (do not resusciate) on dad, but i also had medical directive on dad

meanin i had the power to make all decisions on dad. when dad had his pulmonary

embolyis and was gasping to try to breathe and yes he was dying, they didnt

want to put the respirator in as we had a dnr on him, i asked dad if he wanted

teh respirator in and he shook his head yes, teh doctor looked at me and said

you are voiding the dnr and i shouted yes he wants to live, put the damn thing

in. so for that hosp we voided the dnr, and i am glad i did, it after all his

life and his choice not mine, it is a whole different story when someone is

haivng problmes breathing and dying then when they have aheart attack and you

dont want to them to be revived.sigh, dont know what got me on this topic, i

guess i needed to vent sorry hugs sharon

Date: 2005/10/26 Wed AM 11:29:51 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: Courage Urgent!

Thanks for mentioning the feeding tube, Courage. Sorry it had to

become an issue for you, but thankful you mentioned it, because I will

mention it to my wife, who can mention it to her mother, and we can

decide early on whether or not her mom will ever want one. Knowing

her, I think she will say " No. " I doubt I would want one, either.

Elliot

>

> Thanks Ann. We decided long ago that we would not put mom through

the

> feeding tube ordeal. We will probably have to go with minced food

from

> now on.

> Courage

>

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

[Guest guest]

thanks stevie, i know i made the right decision, however, my aunt, his sister,

gave me hell for having the respirator put in, she said she wouldnt have done

it, i told her to 'get your ass down here and sign his death warrant because i

want, i did what he wanted' she repied that he didnt understand what he was

gettinghimself into.

then i said 'i am glad i have poa over dad, i did what was right, i will send

him up to you, and you can tell him no len, i wont let you do it, i want to

watch you die,' and i hung up, it took about 1 week before she had the nerve

to call me back and tell me that i did the right thing.i think my mom called

her, as i called venting to my mother, and my mother called and let my aunt have

it. course at that time my aunt had her hands full iwth her and dad;s mom in the

nursing home and her husband in another , but still, that is a hell of a thing

to say to me.

i still stand behind what i did, and will till teh day i join daddy. hugs

sharon m

From: juperant@...

Date: 2005/10/26 Wed PM 11:04:40 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: DNRS adn comments about them

Our lawyer sums up DNR, etc. like this. If your terminal Loved One falls

down the stairs and starts bleeding, you can't just leave him there to die just

because he has a Living Will or DNR. There are still humane choices to make,

especially if the LO says " yes " . You did the right thing Sharon.

* * * * * * * * *

we had a dnr (do not resusciate) on dad, but i also had medical directive on

dad meanin i had the power to make all decisions on dad. when dad had his

pulmonary embolyis and was gasping to try to breathe and yes he was dying, they

didnt want to put the respirator in as we had a dnr on him, i asked dad if he

wanted teh respirator in and he shook his head yes, teh doctor looked at me and

said you are voiding the dnr and i shouted yes he wants to live, put the damn

thing in. so for that hosp we voided the dnr, and i am glad i did, it after

all his life and his choice not mine, it is a whole different story when

someone is haivng problmes breathing and dying then when they have aheart

attack

and you dont want to them to be revived.sigh, dont know what got me on this

topic, i guess i needed to vent sorry hugs sharon

[Guest guest]

Hi Sharon,

I so hear you about voiding the DNR - I would have done the same thing

if my mom nodded that she wanted the respirator.

My fear is that this is going to happen and mom won't be able to

communicate what she wants. Mom is bed-ridden (though in a padded

wheelchair that converts to a bed so we take her out of bed most of all

day) and no longer communicates. I am just praying and hoping that we

will know what is best when these situations arise.

Courage

[Guest guest]

) thanks, i still stand behind what i did, no regrets, hugs sharon

From: juperant@...

Date: 2005/10/26 Wed PM 11:32:42 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: DNRS adn comments about them

So sorry you had to go through that. Sending hugs.... : ) Stevie

* * * * * * * *

thanks stevie, i know i made the right decision, however, my aunt, his

sister, gave me hell for having the respirator put in, she said she wouldnt have

done it, i told her to 'get your ass down here and sign his death warrant

because

i want, i did what he wanted' she repied that he didnt understand what he was

gettinghimself into.

then i said 'i am glad i have poa over dad, i did what was right, i will send

him up to you, and you can tell him no len, i wont let you do it, i want to

watch you die,' and i hung up, it took about 1 week before she had the nerve

to call me back and tell me that i did the right thing.i think my mom called

her, as i called venting to my mother, and my mother called and let my aunt

have it. course at that time my aunt had her hands full iwth her and dad;s mom

in

the nursing home and her husband in another , but still, that is a hell of a

thing to say to me.

i still stand behind what i did, and will till teh day i join daddy. hugs

sharon m

[Guest guest]

courage,

you will see it in her eyes, if there is fear i would say put the respirator in

, if there calmness then dont she is at peace, dad had terror all over his face

so i knew we were gonna do whatever it took to help him, that was teh only time

i evcer saw terror in his face relating to medicall issues, (Not counting

hallucinations) so iknew whaqt i had to do, hope this helps, hugs sharon

Date: 2005/10/26 Wed PM 11:52:35 EDT

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: DNRS adn comments about them

Hi Sharon,

I so hear you about voiding the DNR - I would have done the same thing

if my mom nodded that she wanted the respirator.

My fear is that this is going to happen and mom won't be able to

communicate what she wants. Mom is bed-ridden (though in a padded

wheelchair that converts to a bed so we take her out of bed most of all

day) and no longer communicates. I am just praying and hoping that we

will know what is best when these situations arise.

Courage

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

[Guest guest]

Stevie,

Very good point about falling down stairs. We have a DNR on Dad, but when he

broke his femur, we had it repaired surgically and he had physical therapy. He

isn't back 100%, but he isn't in any pain either. DNR doesn't mean " don't take

care of. " These decisions are difficult and personal. I feel that medical

staff need to respect both the patient and the family and not try to second

guess them.

Margee

[Guest guest]

Thanks Margee.....It also helps to have a really good lawyer! Peace, Stevie

* * * * * * * * *

Stevie,

Very good point about falling down stairs. We have a DNR on Dad, but when he

broke his femur, we had it repaired surgically and he had physical therapy.

He isn't back 100%, but he isn't in any pain either. DNR doesn't mean " don't

take care of. " These decisions are difficult and personal. I feel that

medical staff need to respect both the patient and the family and not try to

second

guess them.

Margee