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Hello Everyone,

Help me tonight. I'm struggling with so many mixed

feelings and depression. I have not been writing much, but I do read lots of

mail. I am so depressed I can't stand myself. I'm like a crazy woman in my

house. My family can't stand me. My tears won't stop. My Mom has seemed to

gone another step into this disease and it happened fast. Or it's medication

again. She is trying to talk and can't seem to say the words and when

something comes out of her mouth we can't hear her. Her voice is so low. And

the words she are saying make no sense at all. They are not real words. It's

so terrible to she her struggling with herself to talk. The little tremors that

she had are worse and she's so angry. I'm crying now because I did not go see

her today. When I went Friday and Saturday she seemed like she wanted to be so

mad at me. She says, I'm being angry with her but I'm not. I just don't know

how to handle her. The Nurses at the NH are looking at me like

they don't know what to do or they just act like nothing is different. But I

see the change. Last week she could talk like she has been now she can't find

the words. Is this normal for this disease. I'm so out of it today I can't

remember any stages or even want to look anymore. I just want to scream.. I

needed to sit here and write. I'm home alone right now. I'm sure that's

because of my own mood. They all seemed to have found something else to do.

How much more does this poor Mother of mine have to take, and suffer inside, I

see it in her face, she is suffering.

Sorry, I just needed to let some of this out again. Writing and talking to the

computer screen helps, if you can believe that. I know I'm going to have to go

look at her tonight before I can even relax... She will be sleeping but I'll

know that I saw her.

Nite to all and thanks for reading my story...

Love, Annie P

Annie

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  • 4 years later...

You need to go to your doctor and get it evaluated.

>> Hi,> I just noticed almost 3 weeks ago that I have a supra clavicular swelling on the right side of my neck. Today I noticed it seems to be getting bigger and is a little painful. Anyone have this before?> Pam>

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