/therapy during school hours

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

I have talked to her teachers and they are supportive, particularly

her writing and literature teachers, who think she is gifted, so will

accept any type work from her, feeling she is already advanced well

beyond her peers. However her math teacher-well...she is failing

miserably and stubbornly, no matter how helpful he tries to be. Her

avoidance of contact with him is pretty close to phobic. I wonder if

she would get to school alot easier if he just was not there. She

also feels under awful pressure to please the admiring teachers, and

to live up to their expectations, and to be worthy of their

accomodations, which they are making due to her recent dramatic

increase in anxiety and depression.

She keeps saying she should quit, that she is taking unfair

advantages, she is using them. This is the same catch 22 I saw my

twin sister experience in HS- several of her teachers thought the

world of her, were willing to bend over backwards (often asking me to

send such messages to her), do anything to accomodate her, but rather

than take advantage of that kindness, she felt guilty and couldn't

stand the pressure and just wanted to dissapear (she ended up

dropping out).

One of the problems with missing school, is how absences can

snowball-that since she takes an avoidance approach to many

uncomfortable things when her anxiety is in a flare-up, missing ANY

school increases her anxiety and catastophizing about what she has

missed, and needs to make-up, plus what others will think, and thus

she wishes to avoid returning, whether to a class, or the school day

as a whole. If not in school, she feels guilty, even if an appt is

scheduled (I think there is a type of all or nothing scrupulosity

going on) and she retreats to her room, gets isolated in her own

world, and loses touch.

Right now I think she is pretty close to dropping out altogether, she

has been attending only about half the time in last 3 weeks, and is

having late night panic attacks. I am watching carefully for

activation with this medication, she is in her room right now

distressed b/c she cannot draw (her self-therapy), and making banging

noises on her easel, though has promised to come down in 10 minutes.

I do wish I could determine whether her last 3 mild bouts of sore

throat respiratory viruses have anything to do with this, she has

been fairly stable (in her own tightrope sort of way) for most of

the year.

nancy grace

, xslav@a... wrote:

> Dear Grace,

> My daughter has missed a ton of school by now because of

various

> doctor and therapy appts. I tell each teacher at the beginning of

the year

> that she has a lot of appointments and, although I try hard to

schedule them

> after school, it is inevitable that many occur during school hours.

It does

> seem counterproductive in some ways, especially since Annie's main

problem

> these days is paying attention in school and doing the work, but

her therapy

> and/or psych. visits take priority, in my view. Without them she

might not be

> going to school at all!

> I've never had a teacher be anything but sympathetic about

all the

> appointments - you might try talking to them first.

> Best wishes,

>

>

>

>