New to the group

April 3, 2008

No Redmond is actually our last name! LOL! Thanks so much for all

the information. I have to say I never thought in a million years

that we would be facing something like this. I bet none of you all

thought so either. I know there are much worse things I could be

going thru. It is nice to see I am not alone. I am just so glad my

son finally was diagnosed so now we can get to treating him. Those

books are a great start! I so appreciate your help and support.

Thanks!

> >

> > Hello all, my ll year old son was just diagnosed with OCD. My

son

> > has been wearing band aids on his fingers for the past 3 years.

At

> > one time or another he had cuts or peeling skin under those band

aids

> > but has been unable to take them off for any length of time. He

says

> > it feels funny without them. He has other obsessive behaviors as

> > well. He sharpens his pencils to excess. He has to have all his

> > favorite things in a specific order and he has a favorite toy

when he

> > is at home that if he can't find it he can't deal. We havent'

put

> > him on meds yet. The Dr. wants to explore all avenues first. I

So I

> > have questions for this community. Here it goes...

> >

> > 1) has anyone here checked into PANDAS?

> >

> > My son has had many cases of streph throat

> >

> > 2) Has anyone had success with Luvox?

> >

> > This is the med we are considering putting him on.

> >

> > 3) has anyone's child had Sensory Integration issues as well as

OCD?

> >

> > I am currently in the process of getting him an OT eval.

> >

> > Also any books you all recommend. We really want to come

together as

> > a family to support him.

> >

> > Thanks so much!

> >

>

April 3, 2008

**************

Those books are a great start!

**************

Another book that is just wonderful for OCD kids is " What to do When Your

Brain Gets Stuck " -- it is a workbook geared toward ages 6-12 so depending

upon his maturity level he might or might not get something from it. My

daughter (who is a very bright 8) took to this book like a duck to water.

I swear that book is the reason we got dismissed from therapy this week!

I think a key, though, is the child's motivation to get past this. My

daughter was disturbed by what she was thinking and doing . . . and she

was very motivated to put OCD behind her.

Beth

April 3, 2008

Ohhhhh. .lol. .Okay. I was going to give you a tip of a good place

for therapy if you were in Redmond, Washington. )

Is your son having a tough time functioning? Because if not, you

might want to try therapy first. I'm not sure how much you've read,

but obviously some, to know of PANDAS. Because OCD is a

neurobiological disorder, raising the level of serotonin in the brain,

with SSRIs, can calm it down. But, if the one with OCD, gets the

right kind of therapy, it can also cause changes in the brain that

calms the OCD down. In many cases it is even more effective than

meds. It really depends upon the person though. In our son's case,

his OCD was so bad (he had relapsed while being off of meds) that he

had to go back on meds to calm it down, so he could make it to therapy.

When they start therapy, because they are confronting their OCD, it

can sometimes cause anxiety or make them uncomfortable, temporarily.

And, of course there are different levels of severity for each

individual, so treatment options are different for everyone too. Some

can make progress with therapy, some with both therapy and meds, and

some, only with meds.

Typically with therapy, they make a hierarchy list of their rituals.

They start working on the easiest stuff first, gaining confidence to

take on harder things as they move up the list. They should be

allowed to move at their own pace, so they have control of what they

are accomplishing, and what they are willing to take on.

I'm sure you will read all about it in the books. :-)

BJ

> > >

> > > Hello all, my ll year old son was just diagnosed with OCD. My

> son

> > > has been wearing band aids on his fingers for the past 3 years.

> At

> > > one time or another he had cuts or peeling skin under those band

> aids

> > > but has been unable to take them off for any length of time. He

> says

> > > it feels funny without them. He has other obsessive behaviors as

> > > well. He sharpens his pencils to excess. He has to have all his

> > > favorite things in a specific order and he has a favorite toy

> when he

> > > is at home that if he can't find it he can't deal. We havent'

> put

> > > him on meds yet. The Dr. wants to explore all avenues first. I

> So I

> > > have questions for this community. Here it goes...

> > >

> > > 1) has anyone here checked into PANDAS?

> > >

> > > My son has had many cases of streph throat

> > >

> > > 2) Has anyone had success with Luvox?

> > >

> > > This is the med we are considering putting him on.

> > >

> > > 3) has anyone's child had Sensory Integration issues as well as

> OCD?

> > >

> > > I am currently in the process of getting him an OT eval.

> > >

> > > Also any books you all recommend. We really want to come

> together as

> > > a family to support him.

> > >

> > > Thanks so much!

> > >

> >

>

July 15, 2008

,

Welcome to the group. I don't post very often but am an avid reader! your post

hit home with me. I have an 8 year old son who has EXTREME clothing/tactile

sensitivity. It has gotten so bad recently that he will scream for hours upon

end naked in his room curled up in the fetal position. So although I don't have

any advice whatsoever to give you on that I just wanted to let you know that you

are most definitely not alone. I don't have someone locally that specializes in

SPD but we will be moving shortly and I hope to find someone soon. My son needs

it so desperately, we are trying Zyprexa now to get things under control before

deciding where to go next in his treatment.

Nice to meet you!

Donna

new to the group

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter who has

had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking back,

she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that interfered

with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

numbers, some rituals, especially around a.m and p.m. routines,

etc.,etc., etc including a period of intrusive thoughts about God.

However, the worst symptom that impairs her the most is this EXTREME

sensitivity to clothing. I know that kids with Tourette's and OCD are

more likely to have sensory issues and I did start Occupational

Therapy a few weeks ago. However, there were some mornings where she

would literally have an unbelievable meltdown and absolutely could

not get dressed...(mostly an underwear and pants/shorts issue...not

that the rest of the clothing is easy!!) I read that some of these

kids have " exquisite tactile hypersensitivity " that could lead

to " periods of crisis " where they can't leave the home as they can't

put clothing on. Since this exact scenario was occuring, we started

her on Lexapro, she was on that only for 1 month at a subtherapeutic

dose, then we switched neurologists (insurance issue) so now dd is

taking Zoloft 12.5mg. We'll be increasing to 25mg in a week. This

Thursday, we have an evaluation scheduled at a reputable facility for

CBT. I searched old messages on this Yahoo group and did see that

others have dealt with the clothing issue in the past. Just was

wondering (hoping!) that someone might have some ideas. Also wanted

to introduce myself and again say how glad I am to have found this

group. My son has PDD,NOS...(is doing fantastic), and years ago I

benefited tremendously from an online group. Just knowing you're not

alone and that others get how all consuming and heartbreaking an

experience this is. Thank you all!! W.

July 15, 2008

Hi W, welcome!

I have a son with OCD that began close to age 12; he had

his " quirks " before that though. Like your daughter, it seemed his

OCD just exploded at the start of 6th grade, suddenly all these

compulsions & other popping up. He also has an Aspergers Syndrome

diagnosis (got that in 8th grade) so I'm " with you " on the PDD too!

did get OT for his sensory issues. It was really for his

writing & motor skills but they worked with him for the " whole body "

and it did help the other sensory areas too. I actually didn't know

all of them until he and I each filled out a questionnaire about him

and saw how his answers differed from mine.

He didn't have a problem with clothing, but another son (his twin)

did. Certain materials gave him the " shivers " ! And that didn't

start until...well, can't recall if it was before or after 's

OCD! But he did have them after too, I know. Anyway, for

tops/shirts, it finally ended up with his having to wear an

undershirt to be able to wear the shirt. Now - seemed like " used "

stuff (hand-me-downs) were easier on him too, anything new from the

store he couldn't stand the feel of. To this day (age 19) he still

wears undershirts but I don't know if it's preference now or he

still has the " shivers " sometimes. When he was very young, he was

sensitive, extremely, about socks & seams and shoes being tied tight

enough. Oh, when older certain gloves bothered him but he will TRY

to break himself in on them to wear them. -- That is one way to try

to work on these, either lay the material on them or try to have

them wear them, even for 5 seconds, next see if you can stand it 10

seconds...and get rewards for effort.

Have the mentioned the " brushing " that OT's sometimes do and have

parents do at home? With a little surgical type plastic brush.

Well, we did that on (OCDer) when in elementary school and I

thought it interesting that was OK with the brushing and I

liked it myself; but his two brothers could NOT stand that brushing

when I did it on them to show what I was doing to .

's problem these days is his intrusive thoughts about God.

Constant thoughts, praying, agonizing.... The early OCD behaviors

have been gone for a long time, got past those.

Well - got to get back to work, just peeking in! Keep us updated on

how things are going!

>

> Hi everyone,

> I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter who

has

> had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking

back,

> she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that

interfered

> with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

> suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

July 15, 2008

Welcome, . Glad you are here.

Is the OT helping?

Our son is now 16 and had a lot of sensitivity issues when he was

younger. When he was in first grade, I had to schedule a half hour at

the front door, because I knew he would melt down putting his shoes

on. He would get so frustrated that he would hit his feet while they

were in the shoes. At the time I had no idea what was going on. ..

Didn't even know he had OCD.

He has improved with age. He still has things that bother him, but

not like when he was young. I have a niece that also had improvement

with age. She wouldn't wear underwear for years, when she was young.

Our son's OCD is under control, for now, due to the correct type of

therapy (CBT/ERP) and meds.

It sounds like you are on the right track for improvement. )

BJ

>

> Hi everyone,

> I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter who has

> had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking back,

> she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that interfered

> with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

> suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

> numbers, some rituals, especially around a.m and p.m. routines,

> etc.,etc., etc including a period of intrusive thoughts about God.

> However, the worst symptom that impairs her the most is this EXTREME

> sensitivity to clothing. I know that kids with Tourette's and OCD are

> more likely to have sensory issues and I did start Occupational

> Therapy a few weeks ago. However, there were some mornings where she

> would literally have an unbelievable meltdown and absolutely could

> not get dressed...(mostly an underwear and pants/shorts issue...not

> that the rest of the clothing is easy!!) I read that some of these

> kids have " exquisite tactile hypersensitivity " that could lead

> to " periods of crisis " where they can't leave the home as they can't

> put clothing on. Since this exact scenario was occuring, we started

> her on Lexapro, she was on that only for 1 month at a subtherapeutic

> dose, then we switched neurologists (insurance issue) so now dd is

> taking Zoloft 12.5mg. We'll be increasing to 25mg in a week. This

> Thursday, we have an evaluation scheduled at a reputable facility for

> CBT. I searched old messages on this Yahoo group and did see that

> others have dealt with the clothing issue in the past. Just was

> wondering (hoping!) that someone might have some ideas. Also wanted

> to introduce myself and again say how glad I am to have found this

> group. My son has PDD,NOS...(is doing fantastic), and years ago I

> benefited tremendously from an online group. Just knowing you're not

> alone and that others get how all consuming and heartbreaking an

> experience this is. Thank you all!! W.

>

July 15, 2008

Hi and welcome. I'm sure you will find many to relate to here,

it is a good and supportive bunch.

The tactile sensitivity seems to be quite common for many, but your

daughter sounds quite severe. Seems to be part of the package with

the compromised nervous system. Ours was the same, more so when

younger, he's 17 now. I still remember when he was a baby and would

scream over his rice cereal. It took me quite a while to figure out

it was the texture/consistency. He would be inconsolable. We did

the sox, underwear, seams, scratchy clothes, short sleave to long,

shorts to pants - change of season was killer.

With the onset of the OCD ours had a big issue with underwear, it had

to fit a certain way,the sensory issue combined with a contamination

issue thing. Twice it's happened that they discontinued the only

type of underwear that 'fit'. Since our son would throw

out 'damaged' underwear, he would then be down to only a couple

pair...drove me crazy.

Wish I had some good suggestions for you. Other than building a

gradual tolerance by continuing to wear something, but I guess this

depends on how severe it is. Hope someone else has some ideas to

try. I'm afraid I was guilty of running around trying to find clothes

that wouldn't cause a meltdown, never knew it was a disorder at the

time, just my unusual/difficult kid...

The dose of Zoloft seems quite low to have much effect on the OCD.

Often it needs to go quite high. Not sure if this would assist with

the sensory issues or not. Hope the increase gives some relief.

Hang in there, and I send you hugs!

Barb

Ontario, Canada

Son, 17, OCD, LD

>

> Hi everyone,

> I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter who

has

> had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking

back,

> she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that

interfered

> with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

> suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

> numbers, some rituals, especially around a.m and p.m. routines,

> etc.,etc., etc including a period of intrusive thoughts about God.

> However, the worst symptom that impairs her the most is this

EXTREME

> sensitivity to clothing. I know that kids with Tourette's and OCD

are

> more likely to have sensory issues and I did start Occupational

> Therapy a few weeks ago. However, there were some mornings where

she

> would literally have an unbelievable meltdown and absolutely could

> not get dressed...(mostly an underwear and pants/shorts issue...not

> that the rest of the clothing is easy!!) I read that some of these

> kids have " exquisite tactile hypersensitivity " that could lead

> to " periods of crisis " where they can't leave the home as they

can't

> put clothing on. Since this exact scenario was occuring, we started

> her on Lexapro, she was on that only for 1 month at a

subtherapeutic

> dose, then we switched neurologists (insurance issue) so now dd is

> taking Zoloft 12.5mg. We'll be increasing to 25mg in a week. This

> Thursday, we have an evaluation scheduled at a reputable facility

for

> CBT. I searched old messages on this Yahoo group and did see that

> others have dealt with the clothing issue in the past. Just was

> wondering (hoping!) that someone might have some ideas. Also wanted

> to introduce myself and again say how glad I am to have found this

> group. My son has PDD,NOS...(is doing fantastic), and years ago I

> benefited tremendously from an online group. Just knowing you're

not

> alone and that others get how all consuming and heartbreaking an

> experience this is. Thank you all!! W.

>

July 16, 2008

I just wanted to thank everyone for your wonderful replies and

suggestions.. I will talk to the OT today re the brushing protocol

and I definitely look forward to increasing the Zoloft. (Of course,

the meds were a tough decision, but we realize it was an absolute

necessity) I'm a Registered Nurse and I'm trying to compare my

daughter's OCD diagnosis to a strictly " medical " diagnosis...ie-

diabetes. Somewhow that analogy somewhat normalizes things a bit for

me. If my daughter had symptoms of diabetes, of course I'd give her

insulin, etc. Of course, my family would need to cope with managing a

chronic illness. And so on and so on! In addition to her tactile

issues, obsessions, compulsions, rituals, tics...I've been trying to

manage her intermittent, incredible irritability. I realize how

stressful her life is for her and that would likely make most

individuals irritable. However, I can no longer tolerate this feeling

of walking on eggshells around her, trying to please and appease her

every moment to prevent the almost inevitable meltdown. She's getting

downright disrespectful and very fresh to me. (In public, in school,

etc. she presents as the most polite, well behaved, bright, mature

and reasonable child!! No one could ever imagine how she " changes "

behind our closed doors!)Hopefully tomorrow, when we attend her Psych

Intake, I'll find some resources to help me better manage her

symptoms. I really need direction. I've tried all kinds of typical

parenting techniques...all which worked like a charm with my

son...making me feel like a Super Mom! NOTHING seems to work with my

daughter...rewards for positive behaviors, consequences for negative,

ignoring, discussing at a later time. I've even relied on my nursing

skills...(worked many years in psychiatry..how ironic!) and have

tried relaxation techniques, distraction, etc., etc. I'm beginning to

dread when she wakes up in the morning because I don't know how I'll

deal with her...I also find myself getting anxious every day when I

pick her up from camp...she can get so easily set off. Again, camp

loves her, she's a favorite of the counselors, kids think she's

great. I know some, or many , of you likely have experienced these

feelings. Thanks so much for letting me vent and hope you all have as

peaceful a day as possible! W.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> > I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter who

> has

> > had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking

> back,

> > she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that

> interfered

> > with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

> > suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

> > numbers, some rituals, especially around a.m and p.m. routines,

> > etc.,etc., etc including a period of intrusive thoughts about

God.

> > However, the worst symptom that impairs her the most is this

> EXTREME

> > sensitivity to clothing. I know that kids with Tourette's and OCD

> are

> > more likely to have sensory issues and I did start Occupational

> > Therapy a few weeks ago. However, there were some mornings where

> she

> > would literally have an unbelievable meltdown and absolutely

could

> > not get dressed...(mostly an underwear and pants/shorts

issue...not

> > that the rest of the clothing is easy!!) I read that some of

these

> > kids have " exquisite tactile hypersensitivity " that could lead

> > to " periods of crisis " where they can't leave the home as they

> can't

> > put clothing on. Since this exact scenario was occuring, we

started

> > her on Lexapro, she was on that only for 1 month at a

> subtherapeutic

> > dose, then we switched neurologists (insurance issue) so now dd

is

> > taking Zoloft 12.5mg. We'll be increasing to 25mg in a week. This

> > Thursday, we have an evaluation scheduled at a reputable facility

> for

> > CBT. I searched old messages on this Yahoo group and did see that

> > others have dealt with the clothing issue in the past. Just was

> > wondering (hoping!) that someone might have some ideas. Also

wanted

> > to introduce myself and again say how glad I am to have found

this

> > group. My son has PDD,NOS...(is doing fantastic), and years ago I

> > benefited tremendously from an online group. Just knowing you're

> not

> > alone and that others get how all consuming and heartbreaking an

> > experience this is. Thank you all!! W.

> >

>

July 16, 2008

>>No one could ever imagine how she " changes " behind our closed doors!

Wanna bet!? LOL!

Kate went through a period last year when she'd melt down every single day

after school. She usually held it together until we were in the car, just

the two of us, and then her whole " horrible day " would spew out. It was

not an easy thing to endure day after day.

Once we began to deal with the OCD properly (in therapy and at home) her

melt downs became shorter, less severe and less frequent. Huge sigh of

relief!

The psych explained to us that Kate is a very anxious little girl (she

still is, actually) but it is embarassing to fall apart at school. It's

embarassing to be afraid of germs from certain kids in your class. She

honestly thought she was going crazy. That breaks my heart to hear my

8-year-old confess that she thinks she is going insane! But, imagine the

stress of that! No wonder she would get alone with me (her " safe place " )

and let it all out. She had to . . . like a bottle building up pressure

all day she needed that release!

But, as she came to realize that she really wasn't going crazy it was

" just the OCD, honey " she started to come out of that. She started to say

things to friends, " You know I'm really sensitive about certain people

touching me " or " Please don't handle my lunch box, I prefer to do that

myself. " She began to acknowledge her sensitivities and take

responsibility for them, recognizing that it was " just that OCD, again. "

As for the fresh talk and rudeness, well . . . part of that is OCD trying

to get its own way and part of that is probably just growing up and apart

from you. The psychologist stressed to us that we do NOT have to put up

with the rudeness. We are quick to call her on that score . . . we say,

" I know you're upset but that is not an excuse for being disrespectful of

others. " That usually gains me a glare and a retreat to her bedroom where

she cries out her woes to her trusty Collie (stuffed animal) and then

reads a book. Sometimes she still gets into the inconsolable crying and

then I have to go in and reassure her that I'm not mad, exchange apologies

and hugs as necessary. But back-talk, rudeness and disrespect aren't

tolerated.

Beth

July 16, 2008

Hi ,

Oh, I so know where you are coming from on the feeling like you are

walking on eggshells so as not to set off your daughter. The anger

and irritability that can come with this disorder can be harder to

deal with than the OCD, we found. It truly is humbling as a parent,

and it sounds like you have quite a background to draw on.

I wish I had some magic solutions for you, but I really don't. Just

empathy because I know how hard it is. Especially when your child is

better everywhere else. My way to cope was to remind myself my kid

was overloaded and was " unloading " where he felt safe. Not take it

personally, and some of it got horribly personal (I think our son

felt like I was letting him down because I couldn't fix it for him

and he felt so dependent on me). I did leave the room if our son was

rude, or sent him away. Do take care of your needs and get time away

to recharge, as this can really beat you down.

In terms of your daughter, if you can sympathize with her, but hold

firm on acceptable behavior, and try to separate the OCD from her and

be mad and fed up with the OCD, and even express it that way to her.

It can help you to join forces together against the common enemy. It

doesn't always work though, some become quite fused with the OCD and

will still take it personally, ours was like this at points.

I'm guessing you already know that ssri's can increase

anger/irritability and aggressive behavior. Sometimes one med has

less issues than another. Also, this increases with dose changes, up

and down. So you often have to go through some crummy times before

it gets better. Sometimes a second med is added to help with the

anger/aggression, usually a low dose of one of the atypicals.

I understand your feelings about the medications, I think most of us

here feel similarily. We would rather not use them, but often they

are necessary, and when they help it can make all the difference. I

do hope that the med increase gives your daughter more relief from

symptoms and that the anger stuff then calms down.

Is your daughter receiving ERP/CBT? When they are ready and able to

do this, this is the treatment that does work.

Hang in there, I know how hard it can be!

More Hugs!

Barb

> > >

> > > Hi everyone,

> > > I'm so glad I found this group! I have an 8 year old daughter

who

> > has

> > > had symptoms of mild Tourette's for several years now. Looking

> > back,

> > > she's always had some OCD'ish tendencies, but nothing that

> > interfered

> > > with her functioning. Back this April, her OCD symptoms really

> > > suddenly increased- needing to have all things numbered be even

> > > numbers, some rituals, especially around a.m and p.m. routines,

> > > etc.,etc., etc including a period of intrusive thoughts about

> God.

> > > However, the worst symptom that impairs her the most is this

> > EXTREME

> > > sensitivity to clothing. I know that kids with Tourette's and

OCD

> > are

> > > more likely to have sensory issues and I did start Occupational

> > > Therapy a few weeks ago. However, there were some mornings

where

> > she

> > > would literally have an unbelievable meltdown and absolutely

> could

> > > not get dressed...(mostly an underwear and pants/shorts

> issue...not

> > > that the rest of the clothing is easy!!) I read that some of

> these

> > > kids have " exquisite tactile hypersensitivity " that could lead

> > > to " periods of crisis " where they can't leave the home as they

> > can't

> > > put clothing on. Since this exact scenario was occuring, we

> started

> > > her on Lexapro, she was on that only for 1 month at a

> > subtherapeutic

> > > dose, then we switched neurologists (insurance issue) so now dd

> is

> > > taking Zoloft 12.5mg. We'll be increasing to 25mg in a week.

This

> > > Thursday, we have an evaluation scheduled at a reputable

facility

> > for

> > > CBT. I searched old messages on this Yahoo group and did see

that

> > > others have dealt with the clothing issue in the past. Just was

> > > wondering (hoping!) that someone might have some ideas. Also

> wanted

> > > to introduce myself and again say how glad I am to have found

> this

> > > group. My son has PDD,NOS...(is doing fantastic), and years ago

I

> > > benefited tremendously from an online group. Just knowing

you're

> > not

> > > alone and that others get how all consuming and heartbreaking

an

> > > experience this is. Thank you all!! W.

> > >

> >

>

July 21, 2008

,

Welcome to the group...sorry it took a few days to get on to say hello...we have

3 boys and life is busy busy busy and when it is not busy I like to just chill

around the house with the boys and hubby (we even turn the cell phones and house

phone off). My oldest son has TS...his has been very mild since we got a leg up

on it. After a bit of hit and miss (about a year) we found that avoiding Red

40, keeping to a routine, and getting him moving his tics are really far and few

between. He is 12 now and no one would even know he had TS....we have allowed

him to ease red 40 into somethings he eats and so far so good. But with dealing

with our 6 y/o and his OCD..I see Austin has mild issues with OCD as well. Our

6 year old was just dx'ed with OCD, anixety and a few others we are working on

now. We tried doing it the natural way just like we did with Austin..but no

luck. Angelo is a sneaker....he has hoarding issues so everyday my routine with

him is checking whatever bag, tote, or box he has his thing in for the day. I

will forever find things he knows he can't have. I sometimes feel totally

overwhelmed with the 2 of them...then on top of that we also have a 4 year old.

My hands are full... our main problem right now is the tension between Austin

and Angelo. My gosh...there isn't a day that goes by that I don't lose my cool

and just freak out on them by bedtime. Angelo will go by him and smack

him...and Austin will then say " you little jerk " and start chasing him..this

always seems to happen when I am making dinner or phone calls or trying to do

laundry. I tried having one of them help me...to avoid it all..no luck. The

other day I just lost it and made both of them stand in the corner of different

rooms so I could get laundry sorted loaded and folded. My husband works crazy

hours and isn't home as much as I would like him to be because of that. We are

working on those issues with a therpist and hoping to make headway soon. One

that has worked is the stop think and go chair. Instead of the time out...we

call it that. It is a chair in our dining room that faces the wall and it has a

traffic sign (red for stop, yellow for think and green for go) and who ever

misbehaves has to sit there for as many minutes as their age. When they are

done they must say they are sorry....and they have to say what they are sorry

for...ex...sorry for hitting you...and they have to say how they are going to

make sure they don't do it again...so say for ex...Angelo hits Austin..( and I

catch it before it turns to a cat and mouse game) Angelo will have to tell

Austin...Austin I am sorry for hitting you, I will try my best not to do it

again. Austin will say if he accepts his sorry and move on from there. We have

JUST started doing this about 3 days ago...it is a bumpy road yet...but I have

seen good things so far. Mostly Angelo is starting to now put himself there to

seperate himself when he feels he is getting to a point of annoying someone.

ahh...slowly...

Lona