Re: Need some advice

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

My son does this also. Every little pain he will exxagerate and make a huge deal

about it. He used to say his head was pumping.

What you could do,only ONE time, would be to bring her to the doctor and have

the doctor tell her, " See there is nothing wrong with you " Hopefully that will

help. If she keeps doing it, than obviously your not going to run to the doctor

for every little thing she feels.

just a suggestion

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

********

What you could do,only ONE time, would be to bring her to the doctor and

have the doctor tell her, " See there is nothing wrong with you "

********

My daughter is not this reasonable when it's OCD. Her OCD does not listen

to logic. We even brought this up with the psychologist (on a different

matter) and he said it doesn't hurt to try logic but it won't do any good.

He said, " If it makes you feel better that's fine but it isn't going to

make her feel any better. "

We use the phrase, " Is it real? " a lot. If Kate agrees it is " not real "

then we go through her calming routine which, by the way, has become

shorter and shorter. I'm not sure what to do about the phantom pain,

though, as that is one we haven't dealt with. Can you get her to admit

that it might not be real, that it might be OCD? For us the battle is won

if we can get her to admit that it might be OCD.

Beth

[Guest guest]

Awwwww, poor little one. She must be really scared if she is begging

you to take her to the doc. (

My husband, who has OCD, is also a hypochondriac. I assume because

hypochondria is borne out of anxiety, that is why he has it. He

fusses over every little paper cut or scratch. He once had a spider

bite and told Josh and I that he could die from it. He was serious!

And very upset. We couldn't help it, and laughed at him. It was so

bizarre and ridiculous. But, often that is the case with anxiety.

I wonder if she could be experiencing that, or maybe even some panic,

since panic attacks can go hand in hand with OCD too. With panic

attacks, you can be afraid something is seriously, medically wrong

with you to the point of thinking you are going to die.

If it is panic, you can have her try some breathing exercises to try

to relax her. I did that with Josh when he was young. I would lie

with him and talk him through it.

You could also take her to the doctor once. At least the doctor could

check her out, then if she feels that way again you can say, " The

doctor checked it and said you are fine " . It may help to calm her

about the situation.

It's a hard situation. Sometimes Josh gets very dramatic about things

to do with health too. The last time he did, I assumed it was just a

stomach ache, and he ended up needing an emergency appendectomy. I

guess it's always best to err on the safe side.

Just some thoughts, until you can get in to see the therapist.

BJ

>

> Hi everyone,

> I was wondering if someone could offer me some advice on a situation I

> am having with my 8 year old who has OCD. I have posted before trying

> to find a therapist and have found one but our first appointment is not

> until May. We are working on workbooks with her and her usual

> obsessions are poisons and chemicals which we can slighlty help her

> with but this one we can't. She has had this obsession on and off for

> the past couple months and tonight was really bad, she feels like one

> side of her face has blood pumping really fast and she is afraid there

> is something in there moving and wants me to take her to the doctors,

> she is so afaid she will need some kind of facial surgery. What can I

> do? She is so terrified and is begging me to just take her to the

> doctors?

> Thanks in advance,

> April

>

[Guest guest]

What do you mean by phantom pain, Beth? Curious.

I know people with anxiety can get pain for no apparent reason. I've

read it is speculated that it might be do to the stress and physically

having tight muscles, I suppose from being clenched up a lot coping

with anxiety.

I agree, you cannot reason OCD thoughts away. Once you recognize them

as OCD then you deal with them appropriately, like you were describing.

The thing we deal with here, is separating the OCD from the GAD from

the hypochondria, etc. In both my husband and son, they are dealing

with other anxiety issues, which sometimes can be reasoned with.

The hard part with our son has been trying to figure out what it OCD

thoughts and what is GAD thoughts. But, from what I understand, the

GAD has some truth attached to it, but it is exaggerated, whereas the

OCD is irrational and unrealistic. And the treatment for them is

different.

Dr. Wagner way telling me that the treatment for GAD thoughts, is

realistic thinking. . .The very thing that doesn't work with OCD thoughts.

It can be so complicated at times, yet so worth the effort to

straighten it all out and work on it all accordingly.

BJ

>

> ********

> What you could do,only ONE time, would be to bring her to the doctor and

> have the doctor tell her, " See there is nothing wrong with you "

> ********

>

> My daughter is not this reasonable when it's OCD. Her OCD does not

listen

> to logic. We even brought this up with the psychologist (on a different

> matter) and he said it doesn't hurt to try logic but it won't do any

good.

> He said, " If it makes you feel better that's fine but it isn't going to

> make her feel any better. "

>

> We use the phrase, " Is it real? " a lot. If Kate agrees it is " not real "

> then we go through her calming routine which, by the way, has become

> shorter and shorter. I'm not sure what to do about the phantom pain,

> though, as that is one we haven't dealt with. Can you get her to admit

> that it might not be real, that it might be OCD? For us the battle

is won

> if we can get her to admit that it might be OCD.

>

> Beth

>

[Guest guest]

> What do you mean by phantom pain, Beth? Curious.

Oh, I'm sorry, BJ -- I was just referring to the feeling of " blood

pumping " that this little gal was so scared of, thinking she needed

surgery. It wasn't really " pain " at all but just the feeling that

" something is wrong. "

> The thing we deal with here, is separating the OCD from the GAD from

> the hypochondria, etc. In both my husband and son, they are dealing

> with other anxiety issues, which sometimes can be reasoned with.

> Dr. Wagner way telling me that the treatment for GAD thoughts, is

> realistic thinking. . .The very thing that doesn't work with OCD thoughts.

How frustrating to be dealing with anxieties from so many levels. Some

that respond to reasoning and others that don't. I shouldn't have assumed

that the " blood pumping " feeling was OCD related and, therefore, probably

wouldn't respond even to a doctor saying she was fine.

About a year ago, well before Kate was diagnosed we thought we might be

dealing with GAD (rather than OCD). She was totally terrified of

tornados, earthquakes, etc. If the wind began to blow or a storm came

over she wanted constant reassurance that our roof wouldn't blow off, etc.

She also expressed fear that someone would come in through her bedroom

window and " steal " her. Stuff like that -- we thought it was a bit

over-the-top but they were at least realtively rational and age

appropriate. We thought she'd grow out of it.

She didn't grow out of it, though. Instead she became even more terrified

of less rational things. Afraid certain people's germs would make her

stuffed animals dissovle. Afraid to use the bathroom at school because

she'd have to take her clothes off in the bathroom. Scared that we'd

spank her because she found a broken pencil in the car. Meltdowns because

she has brown hair when it " needs " to be blond. That seemed different

than GAD.

The psychologist said she has " a significant level of anxiety underlying

mild OCD. " That's why it never occured to me that it would be anything

but OCD when this other little girl was so scared needing surgery because

she felt " blood pumping " on one side of her face.

Sorry about the LONG explanation! Yikes!

Beth

[Guest guest]

Lolol. . You've gotta love email. Sometimes it's so hard to express

what you mean.

I thought you meant Kate was having phantom pain, and I was curious

what that was. <still chuckling>

Yep, it can be confusing and complicated to have to analyze every

" thought " to try to figure out which " anxiety disorder " it is, to know

how to confront it. But, on the other hand, it is working for Josh,

just like it's working for Kate. We are very fortunate. ) And I'm

very grateful. AND, my heart breaks for those in here who are doing

everything right and still not getting the good results they deserve.

<sigh>

No need to apologize for a long post, especially to me, who has been

known to leave some long ones. <grin>

Hugs,

BJ

>

> > What do you mean by phantom pain, Beth? Curious.

>

> Oh, I'm sorry, BJ -- I was just referring to the feeling of " blood

> pumping " that this little gal was so scared of, thinking she needed

> surgery. It wasn't really " pain " at all but just the feeling that

> " something is wrong. "

>

> > The thing we deal with here, is separating the OCD from the GAD from

> > the hypochondria, etc. In both my husband and son, they are dealing

> > with other anxiety issues, which sometimes can be reasoned with.

> > Dr. Wagner way telling me that the treatment for GAD thoughts, is

> > realistic thinking. . .The very thing that doesn't work with OCD

thoughts.

>

> How frustrating to be dealing with anxieties from so many levels. Some

> that respond to reasoning and others that don't. I shouldn't have

assumed

> that the " blood pumping " feeling was OCD related and, therefore,

probably

> wouldn't respond even to a doctor saying she was fine.

>

> About a year ago, well before Kate was diagnosed we thought we might be

> dealing with GAD (rather than OCD). She was totally terrified of

> tornados, earthquakes, etc. If the wind began to blow or a storm came

> over she wanted constant reassurance that our roof wouldn't blow

off, etc.

> She also expressed fear that someone would come in through her bedroom

> window and " steal " her. Stuff like that -- we thought it was a bit

> over-the-top but they were at least realtively rational and age

> appropriate. We thought she'd grow out of it.

>

> She didn't grow out of it, though. Instead she became even more

terrified

> of less rational things. Afraid certain people's germs would make her

> stuffed animals dissovle. Afraid to use the bathroom at school because

> she'd have to take her clothes off in the bathroom. Scared that we'd

> spank her because she found a broken pencil in the car. Meltdowns

because

> she has brown hair when it " needs " to be blond. That seemed different

> than GAD.

>

> The psychologist said she has " a significant level of anxiety underlying

> mild OCD. " That's why it never occured to me that it would be anything

> but OCD when this other little girl was so scared needing surgery

because

> she felt " blood pumping " on one side of her face.

>

> Sorry about the LONG explanation! Yikes!

>

> Beth

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

We homeschool so that our child can learn in a quieter environment and continue

to love learning. His anxiety was extremely high when he was in school and he

was unable to cooperate (beyond shutting down and staring) and he definitely was

not able to learn. As a biofeedback therapist specializing in anxiety, etc.

disorders, I noticed that his need to self-calm was increased, and that he used

computer/video games to provide both mental stimulation and rigid sameness for

comfort. Gamers know their games, and gaming is less anxiety producing than

dealing with unpredictable people, sounds, and situations.

As a result of our observations and success with compassionate approach to

parenting, we removed all tension around games by not coupling them with rewards

or punishments, especially for stress related behavior. I've spent several years

around many different individuals on the spectrum. The one thing they have in

common (if they like electronic gaming) is that they appear to need the games

for stress management.

Brain Pop is a good site, although it is a paid site. It is worth every penny.

It has videos and games. Khan Academy has free outstanding videos and

opportunities for practice, although not cartoon in nature. There are loads of

free, some good, some not so good, sites. Here are 3 sites for free online audio

books:

http://lightupyourbrain.com/stories/

http://www.techsupportalert.com/free-books-audio

http://worldoftales.com/

Try your local library or your state library for books on tape/CD. If you have

an iPad or kindle, you can get all kinds of books, some for very cheap, others

for free. The beauty of these devices is that you can adjust the

background/print contrast and colors, font size, landscape vs. regular paper

view (iPad), and width of line (one page width or divided into columns which

makes less words per line - again, iPad).

Sometimes there are visual processing problems that go undetected because the

child can literally " see " but may not process what he sees well enough to

actually read well. When that happens, the brain has to work very, very hard and

this leads to fatigue, headaches (which may or may not be reported, even in

answer to a direct question - autism/aspergers have language problems). This, in

turn, can lead to frustration, more physical discomfort, increased shut-down or

acting out. Most general ed and special ed teachers are not trained re neurology

of reading, sight, fine motor control, eye use, etc. They cannot recognize what

they have not been trained to see. The double whammy for the child on the

spectrum is that he/she usually cannot report the physical problem because this

is " normal " for him/her. It's like being born with a large splinter poking on a

nerve. The only way that individual is going to know that he/she doesn't have to

have that discomfort is when the splinter is removed. This causes that first

experience of " no pain " . Then the individual can recognize pain vs. no pain. So,

until the processing problem is made less, the individual has nothing to compare

to his/her " normal " .

Priscilla

>

> Hi, I am in need of some advice. I have a 11 yr old son who was diagnosed

four year ago with aspergers, odd, and anxiety disorders, since then we have had

to figure out things for him that he can do other than just play a game system,

that is what he only wants to do all the time. The school has alot of problems

getting him to do work and he throws fits if they try and force him. We don't

let him play anything if he does not do things he is told to do at school or

here at home but we need to figure other thing out for him. Unfortunately my

husband just recently was laid off his job so not much money for things but was

told that getting some computer learning games might help but not sure where to

get them as I have looked for math games but have not been able to find them.

Also the teachers says that he likes to listen to books, he does have trouble

reading. Would love to have any help we can. Thank you

>