My Story

[Guest guest]

Hello, Everyone!

I have recently joined the group and have been reading the different posts. Most seem pretty informative. It's nice to actually hear/read that I'm not the only one going through raising a child with Asperger's. Unfortunately, my story begins only a short while ago. In June, my husband and I will be married a year. In this time, I've become a mother to a 16 year old boy who about a month ago was tested by a Psychologist, and seems to have scored in the 95% of "Most Likely" having Asperger's.

I've been around my step-son since he was about 6, but not on an daily basis. That is to say I knew his family, but didn't really know him well. He is rather quirky in many ways. He doesn't seem to express emotions in a "normal" or average way. He has poor, or I should say, NO study habits for school. He constantly "forgets" to turn in his homework. Although this has gotten better, but just before Christmas he had 15 zero's in his Geometry class for missing assignments. We constantly ask if he has homework, but he says no. My husband and I met with his teachers, and found out that most every day there is homework in at least 2 classes.

He seems to live in an alternate reality most of the time. He believes he understands, say his Math for instance, but in reality he is making 30's and 40's on tests. He wants to lose wait. He's 6'2" and fairly chunky, not obese, but overweight. He is constantly growing out of his pants/shorts, but believes he is losing weight. He eats like someone who hasn't seen food for weeks. This is all the time. I've never heard him say he's full after eating. If we let him, he will continue eating until there is no more food left. He gorges himself on anything/everything. We've recently implemented that he must ask permission to get anything to eat. This sounds so cruel, but we are at a loss. He has no idea how much food he eats. We obviously don't stop him from eating, but I've started making his plate/bowl most of the time, so he doesn't gorge, but then before I

realize he's gotten up for more.

The simplest tasks are almost impossible for him, when it comes to details. Sometimes he will wash dishes, but there is constantly food left on the dishes/silverware. I've tried explaining, demonstrating, trying anything to get through to him, but to no avail. He just stands there with this confused look on his face, as if he hasn't understood a word of what I've just said. Yet when you ask him, he can regurgitate what was said, almost verbatim. It's very frustrating. He says he understands, but the next day or the next dish he washes, is the same.

He was trying to explain to us last night that he needed shorts for school. After several attempts at explaining that he didn't have any to wear, I went and looked in his room He had 4 pair that he wears all the time around the house that are suitable for school. He then tried to explain that there was this one pair he could wear, but the others that were similar in style, different color, he could not. My brain is not wrapping around the fact that they are different in color and that's basically it. Then at the end of a very confusing conversation, he states, that none of what he said made sense to even him.

That brings me to his room We just moved a couple of months ago. Upon packing things up, I discovered his 4'x4' closet was completely filled with clothes, almost 31/2 feet high. He had clean/dirty clothes all mixed together. He had bowls, plates, cups (that we had asked him about a week before...yet he didn't know where they were) stacked in between the clothes. It was like "Hoarders" or something. Now we inspect his room, top to bottom, every Friday. And somehow he manages to keep it clean for the most part. Even though once a week or so, we'd tell him to go clean his room. but he would half-way straighten it. Apparently he straightened by putting his clothes under his bed or thrown in his closet. I don't understand.

He has NO motivation to do anything! The only things he does is watch TV, surf the internet, and sometimes, play his PSP. If we "punish" him for grades, or not doing what we say, by taking these things away, it does not bother him. He just waits it out until he gets it back. I don't understand this either. Most kids beg for their stuff back, but not him.

I guess I've written enough for now. I really didn't mean to write a book. I'm just at a loss. My husband and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. We need help, direction, something. Please feel free to give me any advice, recommendations, whatever you can muster. I know that you all have similar situations, but thanks for listening/reading about mine.

Thank you,