[AutBehProb]: My son went to jail tonight

[Guest guest]

Dear :

Got to jss.ohio.gov/ first, see what's there, and then

read my post later. I'll be checking out the same

website (if my stupid browser will cooperate) to see

what I can find, and to make sure this is where you

need to go to find out where to get help. What you

are accessing is the State of Ohio's Dept of Human

Services, and in particular, Ohio disability services.

If I've given you the wrong address or it's not

helpful use the key words in this paragraph, e.g.

state of ohio; department of human services;

disability services, etc. I will also be looking for

a number so that you can hopefully speak to a live

person.

You are NOT a bad mother. You are a good person and a

good mother in extraordinarly difficult and

unconscionable circumstance. I have not been in your

shoes, however I can empathize with you and support

you and your feelings and actions. I can do this

because of what happened less than 3 years ago to my

mother and father. My father suffered from

Alzheimers. As the disease progressed, he became

increasingly anxious, paranoid and then aggressive.

They lived in Ohio. I was living here in NJ, and

talked to my mother almost daily as we both were

caregivers 24/7 of someone we loved more than words

can express. When I found out (through my cousin)

that my mother had had to call 911 because my father

had locked her in the basement (he thought my Mom was

one of the many enemies in my poor Dad's sick,

tortured mind) I can tell you , without a

doubt, that you did the right thing because if, when

this happened to my mother, if the only resource I

knew of had been the police department, I KNOW I would

have put my father, whom I loved dearly, in jail and

kept him there, safe from harming my mother, himself

and any other person he might have hurt. He was a 6

foot strong man.) Further, again, if the only

resource I had was the police, not only would I have

put him in jail, but I'd have kept him there until I

found out what other help was out there. And it would

have been the right thing to do. What I'm saying is

YOU did the right thing, ; you did. People can

only do what we can, to protect ourselves first,

because if we don't protect ourselves, which is a

god-given or evolutionary, however you choose to think

of it, instinct to ensure our survival, we CANNOT

help the people we love and care for.

As far as other resources which might be available to

you, most people do not know where to go for emergency

help in circumstances where there is a specialized

need. Only a VERY small percentage of people have the

info " at their fingertips " . But that small percentage

often thinks that since they know where to go for

help, that everyone does and it is just another

example of lack of knowledge on their part. I haven't

read the posts referred to, as, in this situation,

that won't help either of us right now. You may email

me directly or go through the group.

Please DO let me know if the website I sent to you was

of any help or not, so I can look for other resources

for you (I am fortunate to know someone who knows how

to find these resources, and we spoke before I emailed

you.

Btw, since I still mourn my father, I talk and brag

about him a lot. He was a humble, gentle man. He

wasn't particularly religious at all, but he believed

very strongly that everything he had was either

god-given or he had just gotten lucky. He also

strongly believed, that it was his responsibility, not

to just " line his own nest " , so to speak, but to do

whatever he could with whatever he had; to help

others, and not just by writing a check. I suppose

that is why he became an OT, back when OSU was one of

the first university's to offer that program. He did

his internship and later went back to school to get

his masters in hospial administraton. Because I could

go to the hospital and tag along with him when my

mother couldn't get a babysitter, I got to see how he

was on the job.

Janie

There are two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

(Albert Einstein )

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