Guest guest Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 BRIEF SUMMARY OF PRESCRIPTION INFORMATION No advertisement can provide all the information needed to determine if marriage is right for you. INDICATIONS AND USAGE: Marriage is the therapy of choice for treatment of the condition of being unmarried. Marriage is approved to manage the dread of growing old alone and missing the opportunity to have dinner every night with a special someone, but without talking. Clinical trials indicate that marriage is recommended if you have found either a true soul mate or someone who has an excellent 401(k). CONTRAINDICATIONS: Marriage should never be undertaken in combination with pending divorces, unresolved paternity suits or an undisclosed prison record. You should avoid marriage if you are unable to hold your own in an argument, however stupid. People suffering from a chronic inability to compromise or adjust the toilet seat immediately after use should also never get married. WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS: Until you know how you will react to marriage, avoid activities that require alertness, such as conversation with your spouse. Never drink alcohol during marriage, as it may ease the inhibition you ordinarily feel about telling your spouse the truth. Studies have found that in a statistically significant number of cases, marriage may result in divorce -- or a life together based largely on mutual indifference. ADVERSE REACTIONS: Unusual or disturbing thoughts during marriage -- including homicidal and/or suicidal impulses -- should be considered the norm. You may also experience loss of memory, particularly details of your own mistakes. Other serious side effects may include the growth of a chip on your shoulder. SPECIAL CONCERNS: Marriage may cause monogamy. It may also cause adultery. Marriage may cause sudden loss of interest in sex with others, or a surge of such interest. Marriage may cause pregnancy. It may also cause children. DOSAGE: Marriage is available in several dosage strengths ranging from inseparability (100 and 200 mg) to mutual avoidance (25 and 50 mg). BENEFITS: Marriage may be safe and effective for up to a lifetime. Long-term use, in conjunction with a low-fat diet and regular aerobic exercise, may lead to trust, intimacy and contentment, as well as an unprecedented ability to bend over backward. However, individual results may vary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Good one .Thanksmay add-Chronic side effects: A chronic semi-malignant condition Chronica divorcia tarda (aka Divorce) has been associated 100% with marriage and is yet not knwon to occur in pt without marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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