Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/31/2004 10:34:20 AM Central Daylight Time, gaat@...

writes:

I promise to ease off in terms of

hours and will book some time off in the next month or two. Thanks for you

concern.

you better keep your promise courage, or me and my big butt come sit on you

and make you keep your promise and you need to book some time off now!!!! not

later, book it now, growling and giggling at you, sharon

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

hahahahhahahahahaha...I know Sharon, you are so right, I do need some time

off but even if I stayed at home all I would do is worry about mom or worry

that my dad is being carted off to jail. I promise to ease off in terms of

hours and will book some time off in the next month or two. Thanks for you

concern.

Courage

Re: Dad lost it again OT

>courage

>ok hon, this is it, your sis is taking time off from caregiving, your turn

>look atthe calendar, pick a date, and plan your break and then go. you need

it,

>you are entitled to a courage time, time to worry about nothing other than

>yourself. time to sleep any time you wish, without an ear listening to

hear if

>you are needed, without an alarm to get you up to go to nhm you need YOU

>time, go for it, standing behind you slightly pushing you, threatening to

kick

>you in booty!!!! gigling sharon m

>

>a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Carol, this must get awfully tiring for you...I know it would drive me

nuts!!!!!!!!

My sister can be a bit insistent too (we call her the little general) but

she knows not to push too much. I think that having an illness such as this

in a family just magnifys the good and bad parts of our natures and our

relationship to our family members... I always thought that my eldest

brother was such a family man and would be there in times of trouble but he

hasn't.

Sorry that you sister's insecurity regarding her intellect forces her to

think that she is superior to you...just another sad piece of thinking on

her part.

Hang in there.

Courage

Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>Courage wrote:

>

>She almost all the paper work. . . Personally, I feel that my sister has

>put some emotional distance between herself and my mom cause shes terrified

>of falling apart when mom passes.

>

>********************

>

>My sister does all the paperwork, too - but that's because she thinks she

is

>the only person capable of handling anything other than my mom's day-to-day

>care and even then, she often calls and tells me I must do thus-and-such -

>like wake my mom if she is still sleeping at 10:30!!!! Unless we have some

>specific plans that necessitate my mom getting up by a certain time, I do

>not wake her because a nurse practitioner on the Alz List said that recent

>research shows that people with dementia tend to do better if allowed to

>sleep in.

>

>As for my sister's fears - she is not afraid of my mom's eventual death but

>she IS mortally afraid that she might get dementia someday and this

>explains, in large part, why she is so determined to hide my mom's AD, LBD

>or whatever it might be <g>, from the world! It's sad!

>

>carol

>

>p.s. I am sorry about the posts sent in haste before I have finished

>writing anything! I have a bad habit of not watching where the mouse

>pointer is and sometimes it is right on the send square and - whoops!!

>

>

>

>

>

>Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sharon, you'll be happy to know that I am taking tomorrow off and I have

told everyone that I won't be going in all day anymore. I'll get in there

about 3:00 in the afternoon and stay till about 8-9 at night - till mom

falls asleep.

Courage

Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>oh ok, i am sorry, i didnt realize that your sister did all the running and

>the paperwrok i know that in itself is a tremendous burden off of you, i

>misundrestood and thought that she wasnt that helpful,

>but you still need to take some time for you, NOW pick a date, and stick

with

>it, hugs, sharon m

>

>a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL. I hear you Sharon, I really do but I just feel I can't right now. My

sister gets back tonight and I'll talk to her about taking a day off this

week. The only problem is that she won't stay there all afternoon or night

and mom will be left to fend for herself....ok, just thinking out loud

here.....I can ask the head nurse to have someone help my mom eat..she's

still on regular food but needs a hand for cutting up meat and stopping her

from nicking her dinner mates plates/cutlery. .....Then I can ask them to

watch out for her in the afternoon re: having to have a BM between 1-4...and

then making sure she has her afternoon nap in bed instead of sitting in her

wheelchair...and then the most important thing is to give her her seroquel

at 7:00 which they have forgotten to do sometimes so I go look for them...oh

yeah, no socks or sweaters or heavy clothes cause mom sweats like

crazy....maybe I should make a list, make copies and give it to the head

nurse?

COurage

Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>In a message dated 7/31/2004 10:34:20 AM Central Daylight Time,

gaat@...

>writes:

>I promise to ease off in terms of

>hours and will book some time off in the next month or two. Thanks for you

>concern.

>you better keep your promise courage, or me and my big butt come sit on

you

>and make you keep your promise and you need to book some time off now!!!!

not

>later, book it now, growling and giggling at you, sharon

>a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

yes, make your list, give it to head nurse, post it on her door and above

her bed, anywhere they look hehehehe, it has to help even if only for a split

second,

why wont/cant your sis stay there all dy /nite, after all , she is her mother

too???

sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

Courage wrote:

The only problem is that she won't stay there all afternoon or night and mom

will be left to fend for herself....

*********************

Boy - can I relate to that. On a very few occasions, I took a day off and

went to Milwaukee to visit some friends who were visiting there from NYC or

went somewhere else. One of ny two sisters came over to be with my mom

(both did this depending on who could come) - but did not stay the whole

time on any occasion. Once, through a stupid fluke, I missed the midnight

bus back from Milwaukee to Chicago and had to hang out around the bus

station until 3AM. I got back to my mom's at about 6 or 6:30 and found her

sitting up on the side of her bed in a panic - worrying about where I was!!!

GRRRR!

Henceforth, when I want some respite, I think I will hire someone. There is

at least one caregiver I know (from my mom's retirement building - a lot of

the people here - even those without dementia - have caregi vers) who works

only part time and wants more work. . . At least someone like that will

stay until I get back!!!

carol

[Guest guest]

Boy can I relate to you here. I can't tell you how often I would walk into

my moms house and find her sitting in pee 3 hours old. Even now, dad won't

help her eat - says his hands shake which they do but then for the love of

God why not ask a NA to help your wife eat???????? Mom still has all her

teeth and wants the regular food - not the minced. I'll walk onto her

floor, spy my dad watching TV and will find mom in her room in a sweaty

panic...why, oh why can't her just alert a nurse? You can't convince me

that you care for someone and hide them in their room during their time of

need and pretend like its all ok!!!!!!!!

My eldest brother was supposed to spot me this Sunday afternoon but said he

couldn't " visit " because he had to work......visit??????????? Is that all

they think I'm doing...I could only wish. Funny how those who do the least

always turn out to be the first in line for the inheritance or make the

biggest stinks about who gets what!

Courage

Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>Courage wrote:

>

>The only problem is that she won't stay there all afternoon or night and

mom

>will be left to fend for herself....

>

>*********************

>

>Boy - can I relate to that. On a very few occasions, I took a day off and

>went to Milwaukee to visit some friends who were visiting there from NYC or

>went somewhere else. One of ny two sisters came over to be with my mom

>(both did this depending on who could come) - but did not stay the whole

>time on any occasion. Once, through a stupid fluke, I missed the midnight

>bus back from Milwaukee to Chicago and had to hang out around the bus

>station until 3AM. I got back to my mom's at about 6 or 6:30 and found her

>sitting up on the side of her bed in a panic - worrying about where I

was!!!

>GRRRR!

>

>Henceforth, when I want some respite, I think I will hire someone. There

is

>at least one caregiver I know (from my mom's retirement building - a lot of

>the people here - even those without dementia - have caregi vers) who works

>only part time and wants more work. . . At least someone like that will

>stay until I get back!!!

>

>carol

>

>

>

>

>

>Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I hear you Sharon but my sister is a lawyer who has clients to take care of

then she needs to go to the gym to work out the stress of the day. She

almost all the paper work and all the running around so she does help

tremendously. Personally, I feel that my sister has put some emotional

distance between herself and my mom cause shes terrified of falling apart

when mom passes. I told her I already know I will fall apart so I might as

well jump in with both feet.

Courage

Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>yes, make your list, give it to head nurse, post it on her door and above

>her bed, anywhere they look hehehehe, it has to help even if only for a

split

>second,

>why wont/cant your sis stay there all dy /nite, after all , she is her

mother

>too???

>sharon m

>

>a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sharon asked:

why wont/cant your sis stay there all dy /nite, after all , she is her

mother too???

*****************

If your sister is like my siblings, perhaps she is still swimming a bit in

that river! My sisters STILL think my mom would be okay by herself

sometimes! AAAARRRRRGH!

carol

[Guest guest]

She [lawyer sisteralmost all the paper work and all the running around so

she does help

> tremendously. Personally, I feel that my sister has put some emotional

> distance between herself and my mom cause shes terrified of falling apart

> when mom passes. I told her I already know I will fall apart so I might

as

> well jump in with both feet.

> Courage

>

> Re: Sharon/Dad lost it again OT

>

>

> >yes, make your list, give it to head nurse, post it on her door and

above

> >her bed, anywhere they look hehehehe, it has to help even if only for a

> split

> >second,

> >why wont/cant your sis stay there all dy /nite, after all , she is her

> mother

> >too???

> >sharon m

> >

> >a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Courage wrote:

She almost all the paper work. . . Personally, I feel that my sister has

put some emotional distance between herself and my mom cause shes terrified

of falling apart when mom passes.

********************

My sister does all the paperwork, too - but that's because she thinks she is

the only person capable of handling anything other than my mom's day-to-day

care and even then, she often calls and tells me I must do thus-and-such -

like wake my mom if she is still sleeping at 10:30!!!! Unless we have some

specific plans that necessitate my mom getting up by a certain time, I do

not wake her because a nurse practitioner on the Alz List said that recent

research shows that people with dementia tend to do better if allowed to

sleep in.

As for my sister's fears - she is not afraid of my mom's eventual death but

she IS mortally afraid that she might get dementia someday and this

explains, in large part, why she is so determined to hide my mom's AD, LBD

or whatever it might be <g>, from the world! It's sad!

carol

p.s. I am sorry about the posts sent in haste before I have finished

writing anything! I have a bad habit of not watching where the mouse

pointer is and sometimes it is right on the send square and - whoops!!

[Guest guest]

oh ok, i am sorry, i didnt realize that your sister did all the running and

the paperwrok i know that in itself is a tremendous burden off of you, i

misundrestood and thought that she wasnt that helpful,

but you still need to take some time for you, NOW pick a date, and stick with

it, hugs, sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

courage, i am so proud of you, about time you start taking care of the

caregiver, you are important too, and you have to be healthy, physically and

emotionally to be the best caregiver. so i am proud that you are taking time for

you!!!!! hugs, cheers, more hugs. and 6 hours in a nh/al/hosp is a long

draining

time, and if your mom is at all similar to my dad those are the hours that he

is most alert!! most receptive to conversation and company. goodl uck courage

and more hugs to you, sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

I do find it interesting that those who

never do any research, read nothing about AD and get no information of any

kind, can know so much about dementia!!!

reminds me of the expression hire a teenager while they still know it all.

except it would be revised as to listem to m y " elder siblings " since they

have learned it all. giggling i am sooo bad, sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

Courage observed:

My sister can be a bit insistent too (we call her the little general) but

she knows not to push too much.

***********************

How interesting! My other sister and I refer to my oldest sister as " The

Commander " and talk about the " orders " she gives us. My sister pushes until

she gets the outcome she wants but is unwilling to learn anything about the

day-to-day care of someone with dementia and is dismissive of any of the

information I send her and derisively refers to the caregiver-related lists

to which I belong as CHAT ROOMS!!! GRR!!!

While my middle sister gets very annoyed by my oldest sister's behavior, she

does not realize that she (middle sister) asserts that her knowledge of

dementia is far superior to MINE!!! I do find it interesting that those who

never do any research, read nothing about AD and get no information of any

kind, can know so much about dementia!!!

Oh well - and so it goes. . .

carol