Re: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism alone

[Guest guest]

Hi Robbie I'm a single dad Of a 8yo little girl. I'm single due to the fact that my ex was also not helpful in taking care of her. She only takes care of her so not to pay more in child support. 2days a week. I also I'm dating now and can not seem to find a person who is willing to include her in there life. is also mild and non-verbal. After her mother left I increased my time searching for information on what her needs would be. Start as soon as posibble in her education ABA, Speech,OT ,Music and horse riding . Try every thing tell you find the one or ones that work. Also you both need to set down and talk about it and both must help and please spend time together with your child. Time goes by fast, read every thing you can on being a parent of a child with autism. My heart goes out to you and the best of luck, don't give

up! signed Smokediver

Subject: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 3:52 PM

Happy New Year All!I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am not alone. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to reach out to others, but I don't think they understand. That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking

care of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood what I wrote.Thank YouRobbie s

[Guest guest]

Dear Robbie,

First of all welcome! I would like you to know that you are not alone! I am a single mother of an autistic daughter who is now five. It has been a struggle for me at times because I was in the military and deployed for 15mo. I had to spend a little over 2 years apart from my daughter. She stayed with my parents because her father is not in the picture.

Coming back from training and then deployment made things very tough. My daughter and I had to adjust to so much and to do it all alone was such a struggle...heck it is still a struggle! The hardest thing is trying to find time for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself then it is hard to care for a child with special needs. Do you have any body that you trust to help you out with your child?

I am here anytime you need to vent. I would love to help out as much as I can. You are a strong person! Some days are going to be more tough than others. I wish you the best and please feel free to ask anything any time!

Jeanette

Subject: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 2:52 PM

Happy New Year All!I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am not alone. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to reach out to others, but I don't think they understand. That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking

care of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood what I wrote.Thank YouRobbie s

[Guest guest]

Don't know how one would do alone. My hat is off to those that do. There is the 2 of us and we have a truly hard time. It seems that my wife just doesn't understand how to work with jr. I do it the right way and she does it the wrong way and then complains about it ! ! I. E. Bedtime I try have him in bed by 8 everynite. My wife will let Jr stay up till he falls asleep on the couch. Sometimes till 3 am in the morn ! I don't just understand why she keeps doing this and it really puts a lot of stress between us..................then add on the stress of jr issues and it is sometimes un bearable. We'll that's my venting. Thank you Ogiba jamieogiba@... Thu, Jan 1, 200947835700476:17:07 PM Disability is not in our vocabulary there is only ABILITY. We can do and overcome anything today that comes our way, this will only make us only stronger. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: Jeanette Einfeldt Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2009 13:33:47 -0800 (PST)To: <autism-georgia >Subject: Re: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism alone Dear Robbie, First of all welcome! I would like you to know that you are not alone! I am a single mother of an autistic daughter who is now five. It has been a struggle for me at times because I was in the military and deployed for 15mo. I had to spend a little over 2 years apart from my daughter. She stayed with my parents because her father is not in the picture. Coming back from training and then deployment made things very tough. My daughter and I had to adjust to so much and to do it all alone was such a struggle...heck it is still a struggle! The hardest thing is trying to find time for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself then it is hard to care for a child with special needs. Do you have any body that you trust to help you out with your child? I am here anytime you need to vent. I would love to help out as much as I can. You are a strong person! Some days are going to be more tough than others. I wish you the best and please feel free to ask anything any time! JeanetteFrom: mrob1506 <mrob1506>Subject: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 2:52 PMHappy New Year All!I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am not alone. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to reach out to others, but I don't think they understand. That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking care of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood what I wrote.Thank YouRobbie s

[Guest guest]

,

It can be difficult on both ends. I can see how having two people with different views can be a struggle. My daughter has a really bad sleeping pattern. She will wake up a lot throughout the night. That truly is the hardest part! My daughter takes a bath every night at 6 and is in bed by 7:30. She has the same bed time routine every single night. That part has helped. Using the clock (time reference) was a blessing! If your child likes numbers try using a digital clock or digital timer.

My daughter uses a digital timer to brush her teeth. The digital clock helps her with time. She knows every school morning at 8:40 she is to get dressed and ready for school (brush teeth and hair). Every school morning at 9:00 she is to wait by the door for the school bus. Every night at 6 she is to take a bath. The timer is then set for 2min and she watches the numbers as she brushes her teeth.

Also, I have a home made days of the week calander on her wall. I used construction paper and wrote out Sun-Sat. On Mon-Fri there is a picture of a school bus. Every night before she goes to bed I say, "What day is today?" I point to the day (eg: Monday) and she says Monday, then I point to the school bus and she says school tomorrow. Whenever there is a day off I replace that constuction paper with one that doesn't have a bus so she will say no school tomorrow. That has worked very well! You can follow this for holidays, birthdays, special events...etc.

I hope some of this has helped. It is all truly a learning process for sure. I love advise and will try anything at least once to see if it works. Have a great night!

Jeanette

From: mrob1506 <mrob1506yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia@ yahoogroups. comDate: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 2:52 PM

Happy New Year All!I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am not alone. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to reach out to others, but I don't think they understand. That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking

care of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood what I wrote.Thank YouRobbie s

[Guest guest]

Robbie:

There are huge numbers of folks who are dealing with these issues alone.

The great thing is that there are some wonderful support groups out there.

Where do you live? Maybe you can join such a group and find friends who

can give you the emotional and other help that you crave.

It is such a common feeling, too, that you can't do " enough " . Let me say,

as a parent of a 10 year old son with severe autism, that anything and

everything you do is " enough " . Guilt goes with the territory, but don't

let it consume you.

I found it helpful when I was first struggling with my son's autism to keep

a journal of his progress. Each day I tried to find something to write that

was a positive behavior on his part, even if it was just " looked at me for two

seconds " . It's such a great way to SEE the progress, because you will find that

six months later, or a year later, or whenever, that your child DOES improve,

and your notes get longer and better.

It is easy to resent your spouse as you go through this journey. My husband

and I argued for years, but finally divided up " duties " . He is the biomedical

expert, and I am the therapy person. That has helped enormously.

Hope these suggestions help, and keep writing here. The support on this

e-mail group is wonderful.

question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism

alone

>

>Happy New Year All!

>

>I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to

>make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about

>raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism

>spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am

>not alone.

>

>My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for

>years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I

>am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he

>doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time;

>he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now,

>and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel

>that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to

>reach out to others, but I don't think they understand.

>

>That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking care

>of an autistic/PDD/AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)

>and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood

>what I wrote.

>

>Thank You

>Robbie s

>

>

>------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

Please give your child Melatonin. 3 mg should do it for a little one. Vitamin Shoppe has chewables.

One-half hour later, she will fall asleep without so much stress.

I understand your situation. My husband and I fought a LOT over sleep issues until we got control

of it with Melatonin. I used to go "escape" to my car in the garage and sleep there, because I

could not sleep with my son roaming the house, but my husband could. Routine helps, but a

lot of these children simply do not produce Melatonin on their own and cannot get to sleep.

Take care.

question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 2:52 PM

Happy New Year All!I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am not alone. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to reach out to others, but I don't think they understand. That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking care of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood what I wrote.Thank YouRobbie s

[Guest guest]

,

The journal idea is awesome! I think I will start doing that! Great advise and thanks a bunch.

Take care,

Jeanette

Subject: Re: question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism aloneTo: autism-georgia Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 6:46 PM

Robbie:There are huge numbers of folks who are dealing with these issues alone.The great thing is that there are some wonderful support groups out there.Where do you live? Maybe you can join such a group and find friends whocan give you the emotional and other help that you crave.It is such a common feeling, too, that you can't do "enough". Let me say,as a parent of a 10 year old son with severe autism, that anything andeverything you do is "enough". Guilt goes with the territory, but don'tlet it consume you.I found it helpful when I was first struggling with my son's autism to keepa journal of his progress. Each day I tried to find something to write thatwas a positive behavior on his part, even if it was just "looked at me for twoseconds". It's such a great way to SEE the progress, because you will find thatsix months later, or a year later, or whenever, that your child DOES

improve,and your notes get longer and better.It is easy to resent your spouse as you go through this journey. My husbandand I argued for years, but finally divided up "duties". He is the biomedicalexpert, and I am the therapy person. That has helped enormously.Hope these suggestions help, and keep writing here. The support on thise-mail group is wonderful. question for parent who is raising a child w/ autism

alone>>Happy New Year All!>>I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try to >make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question about >raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism >spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I am >not alone. >>My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but for >years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since I >am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but he >doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free time; >he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now, >and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I feel >that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to >reach out to others, but I don't think they

understand. >>That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking care >of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a relationship)>and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you understood >what I wrote.>>Thank You>Robbie s>>>----------- --------- --------- ------->>

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

I live in Fulton County. Also, I've thought about writing in a

journal also. Unfortunately, I have writer's block. I try to write

though, I write little letters to my daughter to tell her how much I

love her. But to write a journal right now, I think I would be afraid

to see what I've written later on. But I'll try- that will be my New

Years resolution: to vent in a journal.

-Robbie

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: question for parent who is raising a

child w/ autism alone

> To: autism-georgia

> Date: Thursday, January 1, 2009, 6:46 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Robbie:

>

> There are huge numbers of folks who are dealing with these issues

alone.

> The great thing is that there are some wonderful support groups out

there.

> Where do you live? Maybe you can join such a group and find friends

who

> can give you the emotional and other help that you crave.

>

> It is such a common feeling, too, that you can't do " enough " . Let

me say,

> as a parent of a 10 year old son with severe autism, that anything

and

> everything you do is " enough " . Guilt goes with the territory, but

don't

> let it consume you.

>

> I found it helpful when I was first struggling with my son's autism

to keep

> a journal of his progress. Each day I tried to find something to

write that

> was a positive behavior on his part, even if it was just " looked at

me for two

> seconds " . It's such a great way to SEE the progress, because you

will find that

> six months later, or a year later, or whenever, that your child

DOES improve,

> and your notes get longer and better.

>

> It is easy to resent your spouse as you go through this journey. My

husband

> and I argued for years, but finally divided up " duties " . He is the

biomedical

> expert, and I am the therapy person. That has helped enormously.

>

> Hope these suggestions help, and keep writing here. The support on

this

> e-mail group is wonderful.

>

>

>

> question for parent who is raising a

child w/ autism alone

> >

> >Happy New Year All!

> >

> >I am a newcomer when it comes to posting messages, so I will try

to

> >make this as short and as clear as possible. I have a question

about

> >raising a child with autism or ones that fall under the autism

> >spectrum alone. I ask this question because I need to know that I

am

> >not alone.

> >

> >My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, but

for

> >years, it has been an emotional struggle for me, especially since

I

> >am the main one taking care of her. Her father is in her life, but

he

> >doesn't want to participate because it takes away from his free

time;

> >he finds any excuse not to help me out with her. She is three now,

> >and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with myself because I

feel

> >that I am not giving 100% of myself, even though I am. I want to

> >reach out to others, but I don't think they understand.

> >

> >That is why I wrote this, to see if anyone is out there taking

care

> >of an autistic/PDD/ AD child alone (even if you are in a

relationship)

> >and tell me how you deal with daily life. I hope that you

understood

> >what I wrote.

> >

> >Thank You

> >Robbie s

> >

> >

> >----------- --------- --------- -------

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

There have been several individuals that I know of who got married when their kids were in Special Olympics together. It makes things easier if you are married to someone who has a special child.

CeCe