Guest guest Posted April 1, 2005 Report Share Posted April 1, 2005 Hi Sharon: Thank you for your kind thoughts. Dad has been insulting and nasty to his wife before, but until this week it had never been directed at me! The night that this happened, he did everything he could to hurt and insult me, but I just dished it right back. We had just been down to the pub for our regular Wednesday night chicken wings. I had a couple of glasses of beer, so he was calling me a drunk. I just said yep, sure am! Told my husband that he wasn't afraid of him, since he couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag. Yep, sure can't! Called us both idiots, I said yep, we sure are, idiots are the only ones qualified to deal with these types of situations! It didn't help though. Then when I was in front of the door preventing him from leaving, he became physically threatening, I was a bit afraid. When his wife visited him the next morning in the hospital, he was complaining about being locked up and 'in jail.' She asked if he knew why, and he remembered nothing. But just talking about the subject made him mad again, and she finally left because he wasn't speaking to her. I went to see him last night after work, and he was still in the emergency section. They didn't have a place for him, he was just on a bed in the hallway. He hadn't had any meds all day, they had hardly fed him or given him anything to drink, but he was happily sitting in the hall. It was cold in there, and they had taken his shoes and socks because of his tendancy to run off. There was a 'sitter' with him, someone who is paid to stay with him to ensure he doesn't take off. I had brought a sandwich and some muffins with me, and two bottles of water; he gobbled down the sandwich and two muffins, guzzled a bottle of water in a matter of minutes. I gave him some heated blankets and went to find out what the heck was going on. I asked about his drugs, the order had 'been lost in the shuffle' and they couldn't do anything about it until a doctor gave another order. In any case, some of the drugs they didn't have in their cabinet anyhow. When we had brought him in the night before, we had the drugs with us, but they said don't worry about it, they'd give them themselves and didn't need ours. Yeah right. Without his seroquel and reminyl, he was making even less sense than usual. Apparently we were in an ice skating rink, and he told my husband and I that we didn't have to just sit there with him, we should be out on the ice having fun! Then there were trees and tree limbs that needed to be cut, he wanted to ask the doctor which ones needed to be cut and he'd go get his power saw. It was just all so sad. The monster was gone for the moment, leaving my poor confused Dad in its wake. The emergency department wasn't in any position to take care of him; they were rushing around to more critical cases, and they just didn't know what to do with him while waiting for a better place for him. He's not the type to ask for things from people he doesn't know. So they left him there cold, confused, no drugs, hungry, and thirsty. I left for an hour to meet my husband, and we came back with more water for him. They said he was going to be admitted to another area, the mental health ward. Hubby went home, and I stayed until they finally came to transfer him. I could see that Dad was exhausted, but fighting sleep. I convinced him to put his legs up on the bed and lie down for a minute, and he promptly fell asleep, until I had to wake him so they could take him to the new place. They popped him in a wheelchair, and we did about ten minutes of walking down corridors to the new floor. The mental health ward is a secured unit, so he couldn't escape. He didn't want to anyhow. He crawled up on the bed and fell back asleep again. So that's the story so far. I haven't spoken to him this morning, but his wife was going there first thing and is going to let me know what's going on. I called the nursing home coordinator, and they didn't know what I was talking about, they haven't received any referrals for long term care. It seems like I'm dealing with a flock of bumbling idiots here so far, but I remain optimistic that a place will be found for him. Thanks for the support! KD > > > > > > Greetings all: > > > > I was feeling so hopeful after the last couple of days. We had > > changed the way we gave him his Seroquel, giving one every few > hours > > instead of two at a time. > > > > The first day went beautifully, not one angry period all day. We > > thought yay, this is working! Day two, went great all day too. > > Wednesdays, I always go out to a local pub with Dad and his wife > for > > chicken wings, so we went out and were having a great time. > > > > Until Lewy showed up again, in the blink of an eye. When that > > happened I don't think he knew who I was anymore, he was very angry > > at me, especially when I wouldn't let him walk out the door. Pissed > > off at his wife and my husband too, everyone was the enemy. This > was > > one of the ugliest I had ever seen with him. > > > > So we cut our evening short and went home, since that's what he was > > determined to do, was going to walk there if we didn't take him. > They > > dropped us off at our house, he was still being sullen and nasty, > but > > at least he was talking to his wife a bit without being so awful. > > Wouldn't say a word to me. > > > > An hour later we get a call from her. She needs help. He's finally > > gotten to the point that he's become violent, he's shoved her down, > > she's hit her head on the floor and is nearly hysterical. > > > > My husband and I arrived, and he was just horrible to all of us. He > > called me every name in the book, insulted us in every way he could > > think of, I just went along with it. When he said we were a pair of > > idiots, I just said, 'Yep, we sure are! We're the only ones > qualified > > for these sorts of situations!' I just agreed with everything he > > said. > > > > When he started for the door, I stood in front of it, and my > husband > > stood in front of me. Good thing I think, because he was > threatening > > everything he could think of, and I think he may very well have hit > > me if my husband weren't blocking him. He said he'd love to have a > > hatchet to put between my eyes, said he'd be throwing me through a > > window if I didn't move it, wondered what I'd look like wearing a > > chair, it went on and on. > > > > Finally we called the police, and they couldn't reason with him > > either. He was friendly with them of course, can't appear as a > crazy > > person when people from the outside are around. They ended up > taking > > him to the hospital in their car, he was very cooperative with > them. > > But when any of us came near, he was angry and agitated again. Told > > them all a tall tale of how I had lunged at him, injured him, and > he > > had pushed ME down in self defense (of course it wasn't me at all, > it > > was his wife, and there was certainly no events like he was > > describing). Fortunately they believed us and not him. > > > > Six hours later, after running lots of tests to ensure that nothing > > was medically wrong to cause his insanity, they agreed to keep him > > overnight. Good thing, because his wife is now afraid to be alone > > with him. My husband and I would have had to stay the night with > > them - if we left him alone, he'd be gone a minute later, probably > > hitchhiking somewhere in the middle of the night. > > > > So now it's the morning after. I'm a mess after being in the > hospital > > until 1:30 a.m. and having to go to work this morning. It's year > end > > in my office, and I can't not be here. > > > > His wife is going to go down there this morning to find out what > > they're going to do. The process for putting him into a nursing > home > > will be started up again today. I don't know what's going to > happen, > > if they can even find a place for him on such short notice. But his > > wife will absolutely not take him back into their home now. She's > > afraid to, she doesn't trust him anymore. He's crossed a line, and > we > > no longer know what he's capable of. > > > > So that's my drama for the day. I'll keep you posted on what's > > happening. If you happen to have any spare prayers out there, > please > > send them our way. We need all we can get! > > > > KD > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 Just a note to say that I loved my card...Without the clothespins I do have those wrinkles...LOL Just call me puddle butt....LOL God bless, Pat6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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