Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 First, Bertinelli and Osmond, are PAID, and paid well to be spokeswomen for diet products. That negates any comment they make. They are paid to make derogatory comments about WLS. Only one person has said " that " to me. My reply was, " I didn't realize how completely ignorant you are; even stupid people have a basic understanding of the dangers of major surgery, but it's clear you aren't even that intelligent. I'll be happy to recommend a good adult school for you. " The room was dead silent as the person stood there red faced. Later, a woman who'd had WLS came up to me as I was leaving and thanked me for what I'd said. Subject: Oprah yesterday My question is, how do you guys handle people telling you " you took the easy way out with WLS " ? It really infuriates me when someone says that, but i'm not sure how to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Juls, My response is: Easy, please define what you mean by easy. After they fumble around for an answer, I say; I had MAJOR SURGERY to help me with a food addiction. I was so heavy (fat) that the reality was I was dieing. I did what I need to do to become a healthier person and to really live my life instead of sitting on the side lines waiting to die. Best, Renie Oprah yesterday My question is, how do you guys handle people telling you " you took the easy way out with WLS " ? Thanks, Juls - NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 I hate losing my message and having to retype! I'd say first of all, " Weight loss surgery isn't 'easy' by any means, it's also a personal decision and it's important people are making an educated decision if they choose to go that route. " I'd also add that if that person or someone they love has a weight problem, you'd hope that " their main concern would be about them getting healthy and maintaining that health successfully " , regardless of the way in which they did it. Whether it's your best friend, son, daughter, sister, brother, niece, neighbor, whatever..if it's someone you love, what should be important is that person getting healthy and staying healthy so they'd be hopefully around a long time. I'd have more understanding if the person said that 'weight loss surgery is dangerous and they can't believe you did that', because there *are* risks, not just benefits and it's important not to make that decision lightly. To me, that person just needs education. The person that says it's the easy way out? I'd call them out on that one...not to mention...since when are you competing with anyone else? Is there a milion dollars that none of us know about that we get if we are able to lose weight and maintain our health?? Some people just don't know how effing ridiculous they sound! *rolls* The only potential *prize* is a longer, healthier and hopefully happier life and that should be something people want for everyone. Anita in San 11/08/01 > > Hi all, > > I was wondering if any of you?watched yesterday's Oprah show?? Bertinelli was on along with Marie Osmond, and Star .? > > My question is, how do you guys handle people telling you " you took the easy way out with WLS " ? > It really infuriates me when someone says that, but i'm not sure how to handle it. > > Thanks, > Juls - NM > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Excellent response, Anita! Well stated and thoughtful. Not rude, but to the point. I may just print it out for myself so I'll " fix " it in my mind for the next opportunity to educate a person ignorant of the facts of WLS. Thanks for sharing! Bellingham, WA DS 01-15-08 > > I'd say first of all, " Weight loss surgery isn't 'easy' by any means, it's also a personal decision and it's important people are making an educated decision if they choose to go that route. " ... > Anita in San > 11/08/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 I hope no one ever says that I " took the easy way out " - because this has been anything but easy. I watch my food intake and count calories, fat and protien more now than I ever did before. Before I did not work out and now I feel quilty if I don't. I am constantly worried about whether I have gotten enough water and protien for the day. So, I am not sure anyone can really say that we have taken the easy way out. And not only that, but I feel like I earned this surgery after years and years of fighting my weight - and after having failure after failure. I did what I had to do to make myself a better person both physically and emotionally......but by no means do I feel like I " took the easy way out " . ________________________________ To: DS_Friends_Keshishian Sent: Thursday, April 2, 2009 8:36:14 AM Subject: RE: Oprah yesterday First, Bertinelli and Osmond, are PAID, and paid well to be spokeswomen for diet products. That negates any comment they make. They are paid to make derogatory comments about WLS. Only one person has said " that " to me. My reply was, " I didn't realize how completely ignorant you are; even stupid people have a basic understanding of the dangers of major surgery, but it's clear you aren't even that intelligent. I'll be happy to recommend a good adult school for you. " The room was dead silent as the person stood there red faced. Later, a woman who'd had WLS came up to me as I was leaving and thanked me for what I'd said. Subject: [DS_Friends_ Keshishian] Oprah yesterday My question is, how do you guys handle people telling you " you took the easy way out with WLS " ? It really infuriates me when someone says that, but i'm not sure how to handle it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Thanks to all who answered.? I was completely stunned when one of my friends recently told me she wished she could just " do the easy thing like I did " and get WLS.? I was literally at a loss for words, and anyone who knows me knows that's?VERY rare.? I like ' response because I have a bit of a smart mouth, and this suits me!? I sometimes enjoy being up front and in your face.? Neither Marie Osmond nor Bertinelli said anything negative against WLS.? I was listening to Star talk about how people thought she'd taken the easy way out and that's why she didn't feel comfortable going public.? It reminded me of my friends comment to me, and partially why I've never gone public about my WLS. Hope you all have a good weekend, Juls - NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 <<<<And not only that, but I feel like I earned this surgery after years and years of fighting my weight - and after having failure after failure.? I did what I had to do to make myself a better person both physically and emotionally......but by no means do I feel like I " took the easy way out " .? >>>> Terrie, That is so true!!! Many folks in my area have said " Oh, you just had the bypass surgery " .? And kind of 'poo poo'ed attitude.? It is pretty much the same as saying " you took the easy way out " .? Of course, that opens the door for me to calmly correct them about the kind of surgery I had.? It is hard not to become defensive when people have that attitude.? Sometimes, if I am not caring what that person thinks or feels anyway, I say " no, I didnt have bypass surgery, I had a much more extensive surgery.? I risked my life to save my life, and chose the highest trained surgeons to do a VERY complicated surgery. " , and just move on.? Some folks will always look on WLS as being 'easy', but we know differently. It is really hard to understand why anyone would have this silly 'competition' thing about weight loss.? I have never understood that.? (Even WLS people have that tendency, and I am talking about the ones that do that with the 'ATTITUDE' in the voice and body language, not just generally talking...know what I mean?) Comparing how much faster they lost the weight, how much total they lost, how long they kept it off, etc., as if it were some sort of race and they get a blue ribbon! When someone happens to talk about a recent weight loss, I sometimes ask? " What did you do that was so successful? " .? When they say WLS, I say something along the line of " That was a tough decision to make, I am so glad it was the right one for you! " and go on to ask about their experience and share a little about mine, etc.? If they say?they dieted and excersized, I usually say " I am so proud of you!? I was never able to do it that way, I sure wish I could! " , and if they ask about me I tell them just a little about my WLS experience and my past dieting downfalls.? It usually comes out a positive conversation. We definately earned our surgery!? You are so right!! Anne in Santee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 I almost forgot to add...as someone is almost 8 yrs out, I sometimes wish I could get a revision and 'tweak' my surgery so I can just lose that last 20 lbs I want to lose, so don't necessarily take your friends words as an insult, because that's probably not how she meant it. Even though as people that were formerly MO, we wish or wished we were only 10-20 lbs overweight or from our personal goal, those 10 or 20 lbs can be as personally frustrating and upsetting to someone as someone who is struggling to lose 100+ lbs. While it seems laughable and almost insulting for someone to minimize what we went through to lose so much of our weight..believe me, most likely its born more of frustration and self-flagellation that your friend truly thinking what you went through was easy! I'd probably talk to her and let her know she did hurt your feelings or you felt like she trivialized what you went through, but if she's struggling and you work out or exercise at all..maybe offer to work out or exercise with her? *hugs* Anita in San 11/08/01 326 lbs -> 178 lbs > > > > Thanks to all who answered.? I was completely stunned when one of my friends recently told me she wished she could just " do the easy thing like I did " and get WLS.? I was literally at a loss for words, and anyone who knows me knows that's?VERY rare.? I like ' response because I have a bit of a smart mouth, and this suits me!? I sometimes enjoy being up front and in your face.? > > > > Neither Marie Osmond nor Bertinelli said anything negative against WLS.? I was listening to Star talk about how people thought she'd taken the easy way out and that's why she didn't feel comfortable going public.? It reminded me of my friends comment to me, and partially why I've never gone public about my WLS. > > > > Hope you all have a good weekend, > > Juls - NM > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 I missed it.. people who have not done it have no idea.. and it is usually a waste of our breath to explain it. So unfortunate. I still would not trade it for anything else. Ginger<>< > > Hi all, > > I was wondering if any of you?watched yesterday's Oprah show?? Bertinelli was on along with Marie Osmond, and Star .? > > My question is, how do you guys handle people telling you " you took the easy way out with WLS " ? > It really infuriates me when someone says that, but i'm not sure how to handle it. > > Thanks, > Juls - NM > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2009 Report Share Posted April 7, 2009 I think there has been some great responses on this subject. There is of course no one size fit's all answer. Here's my take on the subject. I don't give a rats ass what other people think of my choice in having surgery. Because I don't care or value their personal opinion of MY choice it doesn't offend or bother me what they think. Possibly because I have that internal feeling...when folks are insulting it just goes right over my head...I don't HEAR it. When I tell folks I'm not telling them with apology in my manner. I tell them with PRIDE. So because I'm putting out that energy they don't contradict me. On the subject of doing what was best for " me " at the time...my feelings, my opinion, my decision was all that counted. lol...I am right and if they differ in opinion...they are wrong...so why do I care what someone who is wrong thinks? I proudly OWN my choice and people don't usually challenge me. If they say 'Oh I could never do that surgery'...I say ... " then you shouldn't do that surgery, it isn't the right choice for you...yet " ..evil grin. It sounds conceded. I am not. I am confident in my choice so I make no apology for it. I don't need anyone else's approval...so I don't care what their opinion is...but I do try to respect someone else's path choice. For example...I have several relatives who chose the RNY..even after I educated them about the DS. They Chose for themselves...I respect their choice...I celebrate their victories and I try not to gloat when I'm eating cake and they are puking cake. Shrug...lol...they chose to puke! I'm being bad. Hugs Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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