Re: Re: Taking care of ME

[Guest guest]

Thanks Barb, I needed a hug I tried a therapist once but we didn't click so

I've generalized that experience to all therapists, I think. I'm going to try

again tho, I hate feeling like this; I used to congratulate myself on never

having been depressed and always finding a way out towards something better;

well pride goeth before the fall I guess.

Because my son has gone thru numerous powerful SSRIs, mood stabilizers and

atypical antipsychotics and he's suffered some pretty bad side effects from some

of them, I'm very leery of those, but I may have to give something a try as my

own anxiety over the situation is making me nearly non-functional here at home.

I just need some way to deal with my own anxiety over having to deal with his

anxiety. I guess it's time for me to be proactive there; I'm neglecting the

rest of my family because I'm the crutch my son leans on and the weight is

great.

Thanks for listening to all this.

Robin

Taking care of ME

>> >

>> >Hi all!

>> >

>> > Today at work we had private sessions with our handleader

>psychologist. As I was telling him what I've been going through with

>my daughter the past few years, he asked me what kind of therapy I am

>in. HAHAHAHA What? ME? I laughed. He told me very seriously that I

>need to get help for me, that he was very surprised I hadn't broken

>down or started drinking (I am a recovering alcoholic) again.

>> >

>> > So, he's sending me a recommendation and I'm going to actually

>call and make an appointment this time! Yes, I am. Time to start

>taking care of me. Are you all taking care of yourselves yet????

>> >

>> > Hugs,

>> > in Sweden

>> >

>> >

>> >---------------------------------

>> >Går det långsamt? Skaffa dig en snabbare bredbandsuppkoppling.

>> >Sök och jämför hos Yahoo! Shopping.

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

I started going to therapy for myself last week because I needed an outlet

outside of the house to vent to someone not related to me or the situation that

I'm going through with my son. My husband doesn't seem to get what we are

dealing with, so I'm pretty much alone. Yesterday was my birthday and my son

(he has OCD), gave me a card that made me cry, it expressed how much he

appreciates and loves me. He's not good at expressing his feelings, so to get

this card from him and dealing with his issues made me feel really good, but

also sad at the same time. I just want this OCD to go away so he can live a

normal life. He's such a good kid and I'm so scared for him. So to all you

mothers.. yes, therapy is a great outlet to help reduce some of the stress and

anxiety that we deal with with our children. Roslyn :-)

Taking care of ME

> >

> >Hi all!

> >

> > Today at work we had private sessions with our handleader

psychologist. As I was telling him what I've been going through with

my daughter the past few years, he asked me what kind of therapy I am

in. HAHAHAHA What? ME? I laughed. He told me very seriously that I

need to get help for me, that he was very surprised I hadn't broken

down or started drinking (I am a recovering alcoholic) again.

> >

> > So, he's sending me a recommendation and I'm going to actually

call and make an appointment this time! Yes, I am. Time to start

taking care of me. Are you all taking care of yourselves yet????

> >

> > Hugs,

> > in Sweden

> >

> >

> >----------- --------- --------- ----

> >Går det långsamt? Skaffa dig en snabbare bredbandsuppkopplin g.

> >Sök och jämför hos Yahoo! Shopping.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

BJ,

Thank you for your inspiration and kindness. Hope is all one has in desperate

OCD times.

It is so hard to know how successful in life my son was pre OCD at the age

of 16 . I just want him to be normal again.Now, he is 25 and still struggling.

I worry constantly about him. I will always be there for him .... with a heavy

heart.

Thank you,

Dana

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

(http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

[Guest guest]

Wow, Roslyn, a card expressing your son's appreciation? How precious that would

be.

I think if my son wrote one to me, I would read it every morning before starting

my day.

Hey, you guys with kids in the OCD online support group, how about circulating a

hint?

Taking care of ME

> >

> >Hi all!

> >

> > Today at work we had private sessions with our handleader

psychologist. As I was telling him what I've been going through with

my daughter the past few years, he asked me what kind of therapy I am

in. HAHAHAHA What? ME? I laughed. He told me very seriously that I

need to get help for me, that he was very surprised I hadn't broken

down or started drinking (I am a recovering alcoholic) again.

> >

> > So, he's sending me a recommendation and I'm going to actually

call and make an appointment this time! Yes, I am. Time to start

taking care of me. Are you all taking care of yourselves yet????

> >

> > Hugs,

> > in Sweden

> >

> >

> >----------- --------- --------- ----

> >Går det långsamt? Skaffa dig en snabbare bredbandsuppkopplin g.

> >Sök och jämför hos Yahoo! Shopping.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dianne,

I don't like to exercise either, so after killing myself for a year

doing weight training, the eliptical and running, I pared down to just

brisk walking. Sometimes I do it on the treadmill while watching a

favorite show, but mostly I go with my husband at night and we have a

chance to talk. I also go with a friend during the day when I can.

It's amazing how far we can walk as we are flapping our lips. :-)

Anyway, it works for me. It's low stress and easy. Just a thought!

Dina

[Guest guest]

Thanks, BJ. We've done trips to the beach, and driven to family in the

past few years, but I havent' been brave enough to actually buy airline

tickets for 6 people because I was afraid I'd have to cancel it all.

She's been having some increased anxiety this week because of all the

excitement, but so far it looks like we'll actually be getting on the

plane on Friday. :-)

Dina

[Guest guest]

**************

Yesterday was my birthday

************

Hey! Happy belated Birthday, Roslyn!!!

My birthday was yesterday, too! Kate's teacher told me this afternoon that Kate

had an announcement for the entire 2nd grade class yesterday -- " My mom is 47

years old today! " Gee, Kate, thank's for sharing! LOL!

Beth

[Guest guest]

Happy belated b-day to you as well. Don't you just love it, I'm 42 and if you

talk to my kids, I am ancient. I told them one day you will be 42 and I can't

wait to remind you :-)

Re: Re: Taking care of ME

************ **

Yesterday was my birthday

************

Hey! Happy belated Birthday, Roslyn!!!

My birthday was yesterday, too! Kate's teacher told me this afternoon that Kate

had an announcement for the entire 2nd grade class yesterday -- " My mom is 47

years old today! " Gee, Kate, thank's for sharing! LOL!

Beth

[Guest guest]

My son has said something similar; he says just treat him lovingly and with

patience and he will get better. On those days I can do that things are much

less tense and he seems to be better able to cope and is mostly released from

the grip of his rituals and compulsions, and when they do appear he's told me

it's easier to just dismiss them as pointless.

It's the times when I'm not feeling particularly loving and patient and he does

something that irks or inconveniences me or the family that the tension and

anxiety just rise and sometimes get to the point where I'm screaming and he's

screaming that my screaming is making him worse and the devil in me is hardly

caring because it resents all the many times it has had to endure these horrible

episodes.

I know I need help in not losing it at those times, some thought or even ritual

I can perform to remind me to not give up hope, that love is with love returned

even from a person with OCD. Just remembering that is so hard, having to fight

the imp of despair that's always on my shoulder pointing out just how messed up

he is and how nothing is going to make it better.

Yeh, I need help and not only me, my husband, who even though he's the nicest

person in the world, is losing interest in helping our son and just wants him

gone, out of this house, the easy way or the hard way. My husband will listen

to me when I can sense that if he just backs off the pressure he puts on

that things sometimes deescalate quickly, but then the times he doesn't listen

to me . . . those are the worst.

I'm talking to husband about both of us finding a therapist who can give us both

perspective, not only on what does but also on our reactions to what he

does. If we can achieve some Zen-like calm, I know that there will be a general

atmospheric improvement. Ahh, to find the right therapist tho . . .

Robin

Re: Re: Taking care of ME--Dana

>

>Connie,

>Thank you for your words of encouragement, You are so right, I should be

>thankful for the progress that my son has made since his severe onset of OCD at

>16. His maturity was slowed significantly and I cannot compare his place in

life

>with his peers.

>I know how painful it must be for you to see your son go through this

>dreadful heart wrenching time. It is so sad to see him let go of all the

meaningful

>experiences, school, friends etc. I couldn't believe how swift my son went

>from a very active, bright and happy boy to " leave me alone. " He absolutely

died

>inside. I did not know this boy. I was very scared. I tried to push him and

>make him better. I tried to get him institutionalized. I told him I would do

>anything in the world to help him get better, Finally, I begged him to tell me

>what I could do to help him (he was highly medicated) . He said " Mom just give

>me love and time " I was stunned to realize I had not thought what he wanted and

>needed but what I wanted. I wanted this horrific OCD to be over... now. I

>totally backed off and gave him the years to have his brain heal. I am grateful

>but fearful to let him leave to finish college away from home. I am so worried

>any amount of stress will trigger the OCD monster. If he is successful you

>will know one extremely happy mom.

>I can tell you, right now, there is nothing more important---school, friends,

>sports, church, etc., than your son getting better. Give him lots of love

>and time to heal. Everything else means nothing.

>My prayers are with you.

>Dana

>

>

>

>**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

> (http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

>

>

>