Re: Re: How to discipline.....

January 18, 2012

Yeah the past couple months have been hard for me to deal with all this. I'm due in just over a week. so i have really messed up hormones right now and then to deal with this on top of it. I have been crying alot lately. Especially when I see Colton being so mean. It really cuts deep. Because I just think omg, just a few months ago he was the nicest baby anyone has ever seen. And now he's this completely different kid. I feel almost like I'm losing my son. And it really just breaks my heart. I just love him so much. And I must tell him that 500 times a day. Every chance I get I say " Mommy loves you, Baby." and I kiss him. And then I get hit. Everytime! And I wanna cry every time. To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 2:23 PM Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

It makes me cry when I take my daughter to school. The little girls come up and hug her and she drops her arms o her side and just stands there. Sometimes she lends in but doesnt hug back. This is normal for her. We have learned in the house it is better for her to do the touching first. I remembering crying alot after having my son (we think he might have a different ASD he is being tested in Feb) because he doesnt have the same symptoms. He just cuddles and hugs. But he does the toe walking, and is 2 and doesnt speak. It took me a long time and it still hard not to think my daughter just hates us. Because sometimes that is what it feels like. Her cousin tried to love on her on their recent visit and Kaylee just started crying and I had to explain to another 4 year old that it

scared her. For the rest of the trip my niece just keep asking me what was wrong with Kaylee. Kaylee doesnt hit alot but I think that is because she had finally leanred. But she will not think twice before screaming her head off or throwing things. ( I dont know how much of this she gets from me). Mommy doesnt always fhave the best temper. But I do try not to raise my voice in front of her. But I know how it feels to feel sad when you look at them.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:11 AMSubject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

Yeah when Colton was younger I thought wow, hes the happiest baby I have ever seen. He never cried. He was always smiling at everyone and laughing. Now his response to everyone is to just stare at them with this very serious face almost like hes looking right through you and hits you. When my older kids walk up to hug him his response is to hit. And this is all new to us and to my older kids and its been hard trying to explain to them he doesnt mean to hurt them. I dont think he even means to hit them, thats just his response to everything. My kids usually dont play with him they keep their distance because they are scared of getting hurt. it really makes me sad... ------------------------------>>>My daughter has had fits of rage since she was about 10 months old. At first we thought it was normal but now she is 4 1/2 and they just get worse. She can

be the sweetest child on earth however when she gets mad it is a whole different story. However when my son was born she didnt hit him or anything she just kinda ignored him. She did try to sit on him a couple of time when he was laying on the floor but they do better well now. Besides the normal brother, sister stuff fighting over toys and stuff. She never trys to hurt him badly just a little pshing and stuff but he is two now so we just tell her no. My daughter's anger is very hard to control and the more she gets upset it gets every one upset. I try not to yell because that makes it worse. But just having to learn patience which is not easy. I hope all goes well. >>>>To: autism-aspergers >Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:42 AM>Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....>>> >>>Well for me, I know it will be easier when im not pregnant anymore and can move faster and get closer to him without him hitting or head butting me in the belly. I do worry about after I have the baby... Him hurting Peyton. It scares me to think about showing Colton the baby cause he just hits everyone all the time..... I just want him to be nice... >>------------------------------>>>>With my son it changes the anger/ rage to frustration/tears and unfortunately for him that's an easier emotion to come down from. I don't do it daily or even weekly. I only do it when it is

absolutely necessary

for safety reasons. You have to draw the line when there are other children/ adults in the house that will possibly get hurt. When it's between make my son cry (the aggressor) or my daughter getting hurt, it's going to be my son that cries. My son is going to be too big soon to manipulate like you can do with a toddler/ young child >>>> >> >>>>>>________________________________>> >>To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > >>Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 6:19 AM>>Subject: Re: How to discipline.....>> >>>> >>I'm laughing about the squirt bottle idea. I think squirting him with cold water would just escalate my son (if someone did that to me it would make me furious), but I can't help but think how nice it would be to have a squirt bottle of cold water on my desk at work for when people get testy. :-)>>>> >>>>Sent from my iPhone>> >

January 18, 2012

Yeah the past couple months have been hard for me to deal with all this. I'm due in just over a week. so i have really messed up hormones right now and then to deal with this on top of it. I have been crying alot lately. Especially when I see Colton being so mean. It really cuts deep. Because I just think omg, just a few months ago he was the nicest baby anyone has ever seen. And now he's this completely different kid. I feel almost like I'm losing my son. And it really just breaks my heart. I just love him so much. And I must tell him that 500 times a day. Every chance I get I say " Mommy loves you, Baby." and I kiss him. And then I get hit. Everytime! And I wanna cry every time. To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 2:23 PM Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

It makes me cry when I take my daughter to school. The little girls come up and hug her and she drops her arms o her side and just stands there. Sometimes she lends in but doesnt hug back. This is normal for her. We have learned in the house it is better for her to do the touching first. I remembering crying alot after having my son (we think he might have a different ASD he is being tested in Feb) because he doesnt have the same symptoms. He just cuddles and hugs. But he does the toe walking, and is 2 and doesnt speak. It took me a long time and it still hard not to think my daughter just hates us. Because sometimes that is what it feels like. Her cousin tried to love on her on their recent visit and Kaylee just started crying and I had to explain to another 4 year old that it

scared her. For the rest of the trip my niece just keep asking me what was wrong with Kaylee. Kaylee doesnt hit alot but I think that is because she had finally leanred. But she will not think twice before screaming her head off or throwing things. ( I dont know how much of this she gets from me). Mommy doesnt always fhave the best temper. But I do try not to raise my voice in front of her. But I know how it feels to feel sad when you look at them.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:11 AMSubject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

Yeah when Colton was younger I thought wow, hes the happiest baby I have ever seen. He never cried. He was always smiling at everyone and laughing. Now his response to everyone is to just stare at them with this very serious face almost like hes looking right through you and hits you. When my older kids walk up to hug him his response is to hit. And this is all new to us and to my older kids and its been hard trying to explain to them he doesnt mean to hurt them. I dont think he even means to hit them, thats just his response to everything. My kids usually dont play with him they keep their distance because they are scared of getting hurt. it really makes me sad... ------------------------------>>>My daughter has had fits of rage since she was about 10 months old. At first we thought it was normal but now she is 4 1/2 and they just get worse. She can

be the sweetest child on earth however when she gets mad it is a whole different story. However when my son was born she didnt hit him or anything she just kinda ignored him. She did try to sit on him a couple of time when he was laying on the floor but they do better well now. Besides the normal brother, sister stuff fighting over toys and stuff. She never trys to hurt him badly just a little pshing and stuff but he is two now so we just tell her no. My daughter's anger is very hard to control and the more she gets upset it gets every one upset. I try not to yell because that makes it worse. But just having to learn patience which is not easy. I hope all goes well. >>>>To: autism-aspergers >Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:42 AM>Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....>>> >>>Well for me, I know it will be easier when im not pregnant anymore and can move faster and get closer to him without him hitting or head butting me in the belly. I do worry about after I have the baby... Him hurting Peyton. It scares me to think about showing Colton the baby cause he just hits everyone all the time..... I just want him to be nice... >>------------------------------>>>>With my son it changes the anger/ rage to frustration/tears and unfortunately for him that's an easier emotion to come down from. I don't do it daily or even weekly. I only do it when it is

absolutely necessary

for safety reasons. You have to draw the line when there are other children/ adults in the house that will possibly get hurt. When it's between make my son cry (the aggressor) or my daughter getting hurt, it's going to be my son that cries. My son is going to be too big soon to manipulate like you can do with a toddler/ young child >>>> >> >>>>>>________________________________>> >>To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > >>Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 6:19 AM>>Subject: Re: How to discipline.....>> >>>> >>I'm laughing about the squirt bottle idea. I think squirting him with cold water would just escalate my son (if someone did that to me it would make me furious), but I can't help but think how nice it would be to have a squirt bottle of cold water on my desk at work for when people get testy. :-)>>>> >>>>Sent from my iPhone>> >

January 18, 2012

I feel bad also when my grandson is mean. I am a very sensitive person

when it comes to people being mean and tend to just shrink up inside

when I sense it. It has always bothered me, don't know if I am overly

sensitive or what. Usually I never retaliate but just freeze up. And

hormones don't help. I think we just have to realize these kids are not

mad at us personally, but are going through something within themselves

and they don't know the appropriate way to communicate that.

Also a lot of other mean people even grown ups have this same problem.

They are not trying to be mean but don't know how to communicate their

feelings like they should. Don't know the solution other than growing

stronger within our own selves, and that takes a lot of time and

patience and love, endless love, and long suffering. I am a Christian so

I pray to God to give me these things, and have to yield to His grace

and help, giving up self and this is hard.

Wish it wasn't soooo hard sometimes! But I must say looking back on a

lot of years and a lot of mean people, etc. I feel good, peaceful, and

happy myself. I think if we get enough love for our kids, and others,

then our love will conquer an awful lot of bad stuff. Have lived it so

have the credentials to stand on it, not just an opinion. Also I do

believe we set the example for our kids and grandkids to follow.

Carolyn

sara degeer wrote:

>

> Yeah the past couple months have been hard for me to deal with all

> this. I'm due in just over a week. so i have really messed up hormones

> right now and then to deal with this on top of it. I have been crying

> alot lately. Especially when I see Colton being so mean. It really

> cuts deep. Because I just think omg, just a few months ago he was the

> nicest baby anyone has ever seen. And now he's this completely

> different kid. I feel almost like I'm losing my son. And it really

> just breaks my heart. I just love him so much. And I must tell him

> that 500 times a day. Every chance I get I say " Mommy loves you,

> Baby. " and I kiss him. And then I get hit. Everytime! And I wanna cry

> every time.

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> *From:* amanda johns

> *To:* " autism-aspergers "

> <autism-aspergers >

> *Sent:* Wednesday, January 18, 2012 2:23 PM

> *Subject:* Re: Re: How to discipline.....

>

> It makes me cry when I take my daughter to school. The little girls

> come up and hug her and she drops her arms o her side and just stands

> there. Sometimes she lends in but doesnt hug back. This is normal for

> her. We have learned in the house it is better for her to do the

> touching first. I remembering crying alot after having my son (we

> think he might have a different ASD he is being tested in Feb) because

> he doesnt have the same symptoms. He just cuddles and hugs. But he

> does the toe walking, and is 2 and doesnt speak. It took me a long

> time and it still hard not to think my daughter just hates us. Because

> sometimes that is what it feels like. Her cousin tried to love on her

> on their recent visit and Kaylee just started crying and I had to

> explain to another 4 year old that it scared her. For the rest of the

> trip my niece just keep asking me what was wrong with Kaylee. Kaylee

> doesnt hit alot but I think that is because she had finally leanred.

> But she will not think twice before screaming her head off or throwing

> things. ( I dont know how much of this she gets from me). Mommy doesnt

> always fhave the best temper. But I do try not to raise my voice in

> front of her. But I know how it feels to feel sad when you look at them.

>

> *From:* sara degeer

> *To:* autism-aspergers

> *Sent:* Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:11 AM

> *Subject:* Re: Re: How to discipline.....

>

> Yeah when Colton was younger I thought wow, hes the happiest baby I

> have ever seen. He never cried. He was always smiling at everyone and

> laughing. Now his response to everyone is to just stare at them with

> this very serious face almost like hes looking right through you and

> hits you. When my older kids walk up to hug him his response is to

> hit. And this is all new to us and to my older kids and its been hard

> trying to explain to them he doesnt mean to hurt them. I dont think he

> even means to hit them, thats just his response to everything. My kids

> usually dont play with him they keep their distance because they are

> scared of getting hurt. it really makes me sad...

>

> ------------------------------

>

> >

> >My daughter has had fits of rage since she was about 10 months old.

> At first we thought it was normal but now she is 4 1/2 and they just

> get worse. She can be the sweetest child on earth however when she

> gets mad it is a whole different story. However when my son was born

> she didnt hit him or anything she just kinda ignored him. She did try

> to sit on him a couple of time when he was laying on the floor but

> they do better well now. Besides the normal brother, sister stuff

> fighting over toys and stuff. She never trys to hurt him badly just a

> little pshing and stuff but he is two now so we just tell her no. My

> daughter's anger is very hard to control and the more she gets upset

> it gets every one upset. I try not to yell because that makes it

> worse. But just having to learn patience which is not easy. I hope all

> goes well.

> >

> >From: sara degeer <bradleysmommy1@...

> <mailto:bradleysmommy1%40yahoo.com>>

> >To: autism-aspergers

> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>

> >Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:42 AM

> >Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

> >

> >Well for me, I know it will be easier when im not pregnant anymore

> and can move faster and get closer to him without him hitting or head

> butting me in the belly. I do worry about after I have the baby... Him

> hurting Peyton. It scares me to think about showing Colton the baby

> cause he just hits everyone all the time..... I just want him to be

> nice...

> >

> >------------------------------

> >

> >>With my son it changes the anger/ rage to frustration/tears and

> unfortunately for him that's an easier emotion to come down from. I

> don't do it daily or even weekly. I only do it when it is absolutely

> necessary for safety reasons. You have to draw the line when there are

> other children/ adults in the house that will possibly get hurt. When

> it's between make my son cry (the aggressor) or my daughter getting

> hurt, it's going to be my son that cries. My son is going to be too

> big soon to manipulate like you can do with a toddler/ young child

> >>

> >>________________________________

> >> From: <mshausfrau@...

> <mailto:mshausfrau%40verizon.net>>

> >>To: " autism-aspergers

> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> "

> <autism-aspergers

> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>>

> >>Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 6:19 AM

> >>Subject: Re: How to discipline.....

> >>

> >>I'm laughing about the squirt bottle idea. I think squirting him

> with cold water would just escalate my son (if someone did that to me

> it would make me furious), but I can't help but think how nice it

> would be to have a squirt bottle of cold water on my desk at work for

> when people get testy. :-)

> >>

> >>Sent from my iPhone

> >>

> >

>

January 19, 2012

I know it is hard. My Kaylee can just look at us with such rage. She is a litle better now. But of course now she is 4.5 and we have learned when to leave her alone. My emotions are rocky. Kaylee is coming out of a tough stage. ( also they told me just like other kids they go through stages too. It will get better and then a bad spot again so I am just happy we are doing pretty good right now.) Kaylee can come and hug and kiss. Just tonight she was getting ready for a bath and came into me and my husband and said "gimme hug" and that makes me so happy. But there are days she looks at me and tell me to leave her alone. We are adjusting to the Dx however this year has been so bad. To top the cake they think my son has a ASD too. It breaks my heart. I know it is not my fault.

However my mother tells me my kids are like this because I dont take good care of them. So that doesnt help the emotions either. If you want to stay in touch I will diffently help where I can. With children like ours it diffently takes a village. I hope you have a good night.

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 1:48 PMSubject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

Yeah the past couple months have been hard for me to deal with all this. I'm due in just over a week. so i have really messed up hormones right now and then to deal with this on top of it. I have been crying alot lately. Especially when I see Colton being so mean. It really cuts deep. Because I just think omg, just a few months ago he was the nicest baby anyone has ever seen. And now he's this completely different kid. I feel almost like I'm losing my son. And it really just breaks my heart. I just love him so much. And I must tell him that 500 times a day. Every chance I get I say " Mommy loves you, Baby." and I kiss him. And then I get hit. Everytime! And I wanna cry every time.

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 2:23 PMSubject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

It makes me cry when I take my daughter to school. The little girls come up and hug her and she drops her arms o her side and just stands there. Sometimes she lends in but doesnt hug back. This is normal for her. We have learned in the house it is better for her to do the touching first. I remembering crying alot after having my son (we think he might have a different ASD he is being tested in Feb) because he doesnt have the same symptoms. He just cuddles and hugs. But he does the toe walking, and is 2 and doesnt speak. It took me a long time and it still hard not to think my daughter just hates us. Because sometimes that is what it feels like. Her cousin tried to love on her on their recent visit and Kaylee just started crying and I had to explain to another 4 year old that it scared her. For the rest of the trip my niece just keep asking me what was wrong with Kaylee. Kaylee doesnt hit alot but I think that is because she had finally

leanred. But she will not think twice before screaming her head off or throwing things. ( I dont know how much of this she gets from me). Mommy doesnt always fhave the best temper. But I do try not to raise my voice in front of her. But I know how it feels to feel sad when you look at them.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 10:11 AMSubject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....

Yeah when Colton was younger I thought wow, hes the happiest baby I have ever seen. He never cried. He was always smiling at everyone and laughing. Now his response to everyone is to just stare at them with this very serious face almost like hes looking right through you and hits you. When my older kids walk up to hug him his response is to hit. And this is all new to us and to my older kids and its been hard trying to explain to them he doesnt mean to hurt them. I dont think he even means to hit them, thats just his response to everything. My kids usually dont play with him they keep their distance because they are scared of getting hurt. it really makes me sad... ------------------------------>>>My daughter has had fits of rage since she was about 10 months old. At first we thought it was normal but now she is 4 1/2 and they just get worse. She can

be the sweetest child on earth however when she gets mad it is a whole different story. However when my son was born she didnt hit him or anything she just kinda ignored him. She did try to sit on him a couple of time when he was laying on the floor but they do better well now. Besides the normal brother, sister stuff fighting over toys and stuff. She never trys to hurt him badly just a little pshing and stuff but he is two now so we just tell her no. My daughter's anger is very hard to control and the more she gets upset it gets every one upset. I try not to yell because that makes it worse. But just having to learn patience which is not easy. I hope all goes well. >>>>To: autism-aspergers >Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:42 AM>Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....>>> >>>Well for me, I know it will be easier when im not pregnant anymore and can move faster and get closer to him without him hitting or head butting me in the belly. I do worry about after I have the baby... Him hurting Peyton. It scares me to think about showing Colton the baby cause he just hits everyone all the time..... I just want him to be nice... >>------------------------------>>>>With my son it changes the anger/ rage to frustration/tears and unfortunately for him that's an easier emotion to come down from. I don't do it daily or even weekly. I only do it when it is absolutely necessary

for safety reasons. You have to draw the line when there are other children/ adults in the house that will possibly get hurt. When it's between make my son cry (the aggressor) or my daughter getting hurt, it's going to be my son that cries. My son is going to be too big soon to manipulate like you can do with a toddler/ young child >>>> >> >>>>>>________________________________>> >>To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > >>Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 6:19 AM>>Subject: Re: How to discipline.....>> >>>> >>I'm laughing about the squirt bottle idea. I think squirting him with cold water would just escalate my son (if someone did that to me it would make me furious), but I can't help but think how nice it would be to have a squirt bottle of cold water on my desk at work for when people get testy. :-)>>>> >>>>Sent from my iPhone>> >

January 19, 2012

, I know how you feel. My father thought I was a crappy mom too. I was no good b/c I didn't spank him when he got out of line. To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 8:10 PM Subject: Re: Re: How to discipline.....