A thank you!

February 8, 2005

I m Grazia from Italy, I wanted to say thank you from the heart to

all those who have replied to my post " Nursing Home " ....I have

appreciated all yr replies, and felt helped in this kind of

decision/not decision...Each of those who have responded have given a

precious word in an own way, and I have read anything hoping to find

a comfort for my soul. Thank you again, I try to make treasure of yr

advise, especially those who wrote: take one day at a

time....Unluckily here in my country the reality of nursing homes is

a very bad one, not surely at USA levels, staffs and doctors dont

really care much about an old people once he/she is inside...What can

I say? My father situation is worsening from day to day, meaning

that the cognitive side is very bad, this probably will fast my

decision if I dont find some temporary remedy for him, talking with

his neurologist, but I dont think he has now too many alternatives to

try....Anyway Im glad you have shared with me this pain and wrote

words of encouragement! Hugs to all

February 8, 2005

Hi Grazia,

I'm Kathleen from Scotland.

Here in Scotland we have National Health Service and my dad is taken care of at

a local hospital unit specialising in Dementia care. Alll the ward team are

Physciatric trained and we have a Consultant Physco/Geriatrician in charge of

the unit - a wonderful man. But even with all this, it was still such a hard &

difficult decision to choose permanent care for my dad

When you have no experience of facilities for elderly mental health you can tend

to be a bit judgemental etc. but I have to honestly say that I am now quite

contrite for anything I thought because one year later we can SEE for ourselves

how well my dad is being treated. it completely broke our hearts when he had to

leave home but we have comfort in the knowledge that he IS being well and safely

looked after.

To release your loved ones into ANY other care facility is such a traumatic

thing to have to do, so yes we need to be assured that it meets our requirements

etc. But I think one thing in your favour is that any placement you make need

not be permanent, you can remove your father at any time you choose should it

not be working out for you or for him, I would definitely choose a hospital unit

if there is such a thing available to you because the legislation is better and

in our country a state run unit as I said has fully qualified trained

Physciatric staff & doctors. on my dads unit we also have the general ward

doctor who tends to his many PHYSICAL complaints that come because of LBD....he

has chest infection a lot and also Urinary Tract infection.....the general

doctor is always on hand with anti-biotics etc. it's very reassuring.

All I want to say is that you should take as much time with your decision as you

can, interview any establishments you may choose to go to, I went to every one

of them armed with a notebook and questions about GP cover, Consultant cover,

medications, and questions also about the social & physical therapy side of

things. Some places did not particularly like being 'interviewed' so rigorously

so it was then easy to score them off my list - if they can't answer my criteria

then they can't be that good. I think once you've been and seen some places it

gets a bit less scary and you WILL get a feel for what is right and what's not

right - trust your instincts, they never let you down. And at the end of the

day you can only do your best, no-one can ask more of you than that.

Meanwhile just know that lots of other people who have been down your path

previously are thinking about you and we are all glad to be able to help in any

small way if we can.

Hope & hugs - Kathleen.