Re: Kathy and Friends........

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

I just left the Nursing home. And after telling you how much better she

was doing. Well, today she seems a little vague and not talking. I was kind of

depressed when I left. She didn't eat much of her supper and she didn't seem to

want to talk or anything. I only stayed an hour and cried when I left because

I'm going out of town till Saturday and I feel like I'm abandoning her. It's

not true, my brothers are around and she is in the best of hand. But it's my

feelings. I'm not feeling so good right now. For the first time she said,

" See you tomorrow " and she won't... I cried all the way home. What I'm doing

is taking a little vacation to rest and now I feel awful for thinking of myself.

This is not like me at all. I always put myself last. That's how I function

better. This time I said, I'm taking a break and tonight I feel depressed. Oh

well, I'll try to enjoy and relax........ But My heart is heavy. Nite to all.

and Kathy you are Ok... See you later.

I'll write next week..... Nite.

Love, Annie

STEVE & KATHY WARD wrote:

Sorry, I hit send by error. I went to see mom this a.m. and she was more with

it. She hadn't had morphine and recognized me. She was hallucinating a bit, and

had balled up her blankets. She was fingering them and telling me that they

hadn't fed her for 4 days...I told her that I gave her food but that she was

pretty " out of it " from morphine. I gave her a pudding that was left on her tray

and she ate it all. She also had a piece of chocolate. I gave her a protein

drink and she had a few sips. The nurse came to turn her and wash her and I left

the room because i didn't want mom to act up and I really didn't want to hear

her yelling...when I came back after a half hour she was in the same position.

The nurse said someone had to go, so she had to leave the washing and was going

to do it now. I went out into the hall. I hated to hear the yelling that was

going on, but at least mom couldn't see me. In the end, she didn't seem to be in

a much different position than before but

she had clean nightgown on. She seemed tired and I decided to leave. I had been

there since 10:30 am and it was after 12 noon but I didn't feel like I was with

her very much. Oh well. My uncle (her brother) was going to see her at 2:30 pm.

He called at 4 pm to say that she was really " out of it " . She didn't remember me

being there. He said she was falling asleep and hallucinating and didn't really

know him. He told her he would come again, and she said " yeah, that would be

good, why don't you visit me more often? " I felt bad for him but I am still not

sure if she was clearer than yesterday as he doesn't really have a reference. I

was not going to visit tonight as I have to pick up my daughter from a school

trip and I am going tomorrow morning. I do feel guilty, but on the other hand,

if she doesn't even know I am there, I might be better staying home and gettting

the rest. She does have good care there and I know that I have to pace myself or

I will crumble into a heap.

She didn't get any more morphine today, so I don't know why she was so " out of

it " when my uncle was there. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is

temporary, from the trauma of it all. It is all so sad.

I appreciate all the prayers and support from everyone. You guys are the reason

I am able to keep going...

Kath

STEVE & KATHY WARD wrote:

Annie P wrote:

Kathy,

Hi again, Yes the morphine kept my Mom Loopy also... that really bothered me.

She was not on that very long. Vicodin works better. They tolerate that better.

And you mention Reminyl, Oh my goodness that didn't work good with Mom at all. I

had her taken off that. But everyone is different. These meds work so different

on each person. If it's good for your Mom, then that's great. Right now my Mom

is on Seroquel and that seems to be just fine. I think that your Mom will come

out of this increased confused state. It's the surgery and everything that

causes this increase. And morphine is horrible for them. Give her a good week

and she should be different. It took my Mom about two weeks to finally wake. She

wouldn't open her eyes or eat either. Scared the hell out of me. And I was like

you, I didn't want to leave her just Incas she woke and looked for me. I was

there constantly. But remember Kathy, take care of yourself also. I go so run

down and I

had a horrible cold, couldn't talk. I was so sick. But stayed with her. Everyone

was mad at me for not taking care of myself but I felt Mom needed me. After she

was better I took some time to rest. But I had this horrible cold for over three

weeks. I'm still dragging a little. Anyway that's passed. So just remember, One

day at a time..... Keep me updated, I'm here not everyday but I try. If one

message I write helps someone, I feel so good. I know many messages here have

helped me so much.

Take care and have a great day. Love, Annie

STEVE & KATHY WARD wrote:

Hi Annie

Thanks for your reply. They have mom on morphine and she is pretty loopy. They

have taken her off Reminyl and that worries me too. Last night she was a little

more with it than yesterday afternoon. She didn't remember my sister being there

at all, nor the fact that I had been there before then. She could hardly speak

as she was mumbling and her teeth were floating around in her mouth. Very

frustrating since we couldn't understand her. She is not eating much just a

couple of bites here and there but is on IV so I guess it is okay. They gave her

blood because her hemoglobin was down. It feels useless to be there, but yet who

knows when she will be coherent and I don't want to not be there if there is a

chance she needs me.

Kath

Annie P wrote:

Hi again, Just to answer your question. Sorry it took me so long. Mom had a

spinal, she was not given anesthesia. She was given just something to relax

along with the spinal... Putting them under anesthesia is worse, it makes them

more confused. She is doing even better this week. I am so surprised and happy.

I saw her walk today, with a walker but it's better than not walking. She

doesn't seem to mind me coming and going, she has seemed to accept the fact that

she has to stay there while she is healing. That's what I tell her. I say, " Mom

you have to heal and walk, so let them help you and everyday you will get

stronger and stronger " She just say, " OK " and smiles and kisses me. Today I went

to see her, put a pretty sweater and pants on her, curled her hair and she

looked great. It sure makes me feel good anyway.

Kathy, it sure is hard to watch them and to see the lost look in their eyes. And

to not know you is so hard. I cried so much. But keep positive and

hopeful...Your Mom is in my thoughts and hopefully she will be fine. Also watch

the medications...... The pain medication does a number on them, it keeps them

really out of it. And remember, a person with dementia sometimes does not need

much pain medication because they don't realize that they have pain. I know this

is hard to understand but it's true. I'm sure they feel the discomfort but can't

really explain it to you. After a few days, my mom was just on Tylenol if you

can believe that.... Well, I'm so tired I can't see straight. I'll write again.

Let me know how things are.

Bless you and my Prayers are with all of you.

Love, Annie P.

STEVE & KATHY WARD wrote:

Wow. I just read your post after writing mine. I guess there is always hope. I

will keep your mom in my thoughts as my mother goes through the surgery. I pray

for a similar outcome in that my mother may return to the state she was in

before surgery. I don't want her to not recognize me or anyone and be scared.

Your post makes me think that there might be a chance, and for that I am

grateful. It is doubtful she will ever return home but if she can get back some

functioning perhaps her life is not so doomed after all. Did they give her a

general anesthetic?

Thanks Annie.

Kath

Annie P wrote:

Hello everyone,

It's me Annie again. I have not written in a while. I have been so busy with

work and visiting Mom at the Nursing Home. YES, she is there. After breaking her

hip on New Years Day, she had to go to rehab. I felt just horrible sending here

there but have no choice. The first week in the hospital and NH was hell. I

thought she would never come out of the state that she was in. She was not

talking or opening her eyes or not really responding to anything. She had to be

fed and it was like a nightmare. She was put on Seroquel and one day she was

awake like I've never seen her. Now she is doing better, walking with help and

talking, eating good and just back to the way she was. She does ramble on about

things we don't know what she is saying but at least she is back with us. I know

some of you say that medication is not so good, but for Mom it's working for

now. If we have to change it later we will. She did ask once to come home but

she hasn't again. She has the

rehab for about three months and then after that we will see. I'm wishing to

take her home, but other family says not to. If she is content there, they said

I should leave her there. It is a lot easier on my family and we were talking a

beating in this house. My kids were upset watching her. She needs constant care

and it's hard on all of us. Plus it's not fair for the kids to see this. They

are not babies the are adults but they were each taking it so hard. Their

Grandmother lived here for 17 years and they are very close to her. We'll see

what happens. I had a very hard time watching her suffer from the fall and

slipping into a state of nothing. That scared me so much. But I feel better now.

I'm there with her as much as I can and I feel better myself. Well, thanks for

listening again to me.

We are getting buried in snow here in Massachusetts, it doesn't seem to want to

stop. I love it though. Night to all, Bless you..... Love, Annie P

Annie

---------------------------------

Do you Yahoo!?

Yahoo! Search presents - Jib Jab's 'Second Term'