Re: Need advice for how to help my son get through his melt downs

[Guest guest]

What sort of things set him off? How do u react when he is having a meltdown?

 

From what I have been told, when they are having a meltdown, they have to work thru it themselves. Trying to calm them usually will not work. Provide a safe place for him to go so that they don't hurt anyone, or hurt themselves. U could try a weighted blanket, or try to wrap him up in a blanket to help calm him. Deep pressure is calming for them.

 

One thing that helps my son is brushing his arms and legs with one of the medical brushes. And joint compressions also calms him right down. U could try something like that if he will let u. An OT can teach u how to do those things correctly.

 

Jenn

 

 

My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset. he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

[Guest guest]

If you haven't already, set up a routine. Aspies love routine! If possible make up a chart of when things will happen like write breakfast show a clock with the time, tv , lunch, diner etc. If he cannot read then I would write the word and draw a picture as well to help him figure everything out. When my son, now 9, is starting a meltdown I get down on his level and look him in the eye and ask him to stop, breathe and slowly tell me what is wrong. I sometimes have to tell him that I am understanding him and he needs to explain it a little more. I tell him it is not him but that I am having the trouble. Sometimes just going into his bedroom where it is quiet for a few minutes helps him calm down to the point where he can tell what is wrong. I have found that finding out from his perspective what the problems are has

really helped cut down the meltdowns. Sometimes things that seem silly to us are momentous to them. My husband broke his ankle in June and has been home on workers comp ever since. He normally works second shift so is not home for supper. As our routine, I would always give my son a choice of two things for diner or a choice of side dishes. Since my husband is home he started cooking and did not know to ask my son. This set him off a few times. It took me a few days to figure it out but once we did everything was settled. Just a thought. Good luck.On another note, does he also have ADHD? My son does and we had to switch from the time released form to the regular but a morning and an afternoon pool. This helped him get through his day at school and get through his homework without major issues.Perseverance, Patience and Pluck!

www.WickedWicklessCandles.scentsy.uslow wattage lightbulbs and paraffin wax mean no worries!Subject: Need advice for how to help my son get through his melt downsTo: autism-aspergers Date: Sunday, August 14, 2011, 5:22 PM

My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset. he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

[Guest guest]

Hi, my son is the same age, and I have been finding the same problem. Fortunately, he is usually agressive toward objects, throwing thing. My doctor prescribed some medication, but he will not take it. He seems to do best if I can get him to go to him room, then he will usually calm down, with the decreased stimulation. Best wishes, and Hugs. Subject: Need advice for how to help my son get through his melt downsTo: autism-aspergers Date: Sunday, August 14, 2011, 9:22 PM

My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset. he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

[Guest guest]

Along with the other great advice offered, I wanted to mention a book that I

found invaluable in dealing with our 7 yo son. I don't think we've had more

than a couple meltdowns since I read this book:

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily

Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene (Paperback - Jan

19, 2010)

I also noticed a new book on the topic. I haven't read it and there are no

reviews:

From Anxiety to Meltdown: How Individuals on the Autistic Spectrum Deal With

Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene

Effectively [Paperback] by Deborah Lipsky

Hope it helps!

[Guest guest]

My grandson age 7 did something the other day that was surprising to me.

Every Sunday we go to church and after church we go to Mc's where

I buy the family lunch and then we go to the nearby park so Lucas can

get out and play. He loves that. His older sister, brother, his mom and

I usually sit in the van and eat and watch the children play. Sometimes

the brother age 11 gets out and walks home though as it isn't too far as

he does not want to wait.

Usually Lucas has a great time and make friends very quickly and plays

with them quite enthusiastically until it is time to go. Well last Sun.

something different happened, there was a little girl about his age

there and her older brother. I don't know what happened but all of a

sudden we saw him marching towards the van. Clearly his feelings were

hurt, and this is what he said, " I am going to kill them, I am going to

gouge their eyes out, I am going to pull out all their insides.. " You

have to realize this boy watches all sorts of scary movies like Pirates

from the Caribbean and science fiction movies with tripods that eat

people so I think he is just being dramatic and all of a sudden seemed

amused at his choice of words he was using..

His mom big sister and I were kind of speechless as he went on with his

roll. He was just so dramatic and articulate sounded more like an adult

that a kid. Oh yes and he kept saying, " Call the police! Call the

police! " We tried to get out of him what had happened. It might have

been the little girl was not so friendly towards his friendly advances

and so he told her to shut up or something, and the big brother

intervened and told him to stop it. This is what we suspect happened.

School starts in a few weeks and we don't know what is going to happen.

He got sent to the principals office last year for saying things like

that, but not nearly so articulate or dramatic. Now they know he is

aspergers as he was evaluated late last year, so hopefully things will

be different.

Do any of you others have specific instructions written in an IEP for

your children when they get like this? I was telling my daughter the

other day she needs to school the school so we can go in there and set

one up. She said " Wasn't that what we did last year? " And I said no that

was just the first step, the initial evaluation that he needs special

services. The IEP was setting up specifics. She knows nothing about such

things but I do since her brother has had these sorts of issues all of

his life and I well remember his school years. She has negative memories

of them but I told her things were just starting out then in the 60s and

70s but now kids get services right away according to the law.

Boy does she have a long ways to go, I guess we all do, but at least I

am not totally ignorant..

Carolyn

wrote:

>

> My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting

> more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset.

> he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carolyn

 

How wonderful that you care so much for your grandson and his welfare! 

I may not be qualified to give you an " academic " answer, but your post grabbed my heart.  You said that your grandson watches lots of scary movies.  I would suggest encouraging mom to change what he watches.  Many people think movies are harmless, but I have seen how they have affected many in  negative ways. Pictures and stories are powerful!  It may not solve all your problems, but it couldn't hurt. You might be pleasantly surprised with the results.

 

Blessings,

My grandson age 7 did something the other day that was surprising to me.Every Sunday we go to church and after church we go to Mc's where

I buy the family lunch and then we go to the nearby park so Lucas canget out and play. He loves that. His older sister, brother, his mom andI usually sit in the van and eat and watch the children play. Sometimes

the brother age 11 gets out and walks home though as it isn't too far ashe does not want to wait.Usually Lucas has a great time and make friends very quickly and playswith them quite enthusiastically until it is time to go. Well last Sun.

something different happened, there was a little girl about his agethere and her older brother. I don't know what happened but all of asudden we saw him marching towards the van. Clearly his feelings werehurt, and this is what he said, " I am going to kill them, I am going to

gouge their eyes out, I am going to pull out all their insides.. " Youhave to realize this boy watches all sorts of scary movies like Piratesfrom the Caribbean and science fiction movies with tripods that eat

people so I think he is just being dramatic and all of a sudden seemedamused at his choice of words he was using..His mom big sister and I were kind of speechless as he went on with hisroll. He was just so dramatic and articulate sounded more like an adult

that a kid. Oh yes and he kept saying, " Call the police! Call thepolice! " We tried to get out of him what had happened. It might havebeen the little girl was not so friendly towards his friendly advances

and so he told her to shut up or something, and the big brotherintervened and told him to stop it. This is what we suspect happened.School starts in a few weeks and we don't know what is going to happen.

He got sent to the principals office last year for saying things likethat, but not nearly so articulate or dramatic. Now they know he isaspergers as he was evaluated late last year, so hopefully things willbe different.

Do any of you others have specific instructions written in an IEP foryour children when they get like this? I was telling my daughter theother day she needs to school the school so we can go in there and set

one up. She said " Wasn't that what we did last year? " And I said no thatwas just the first step, the initial evaluation that he needs specialservices. The IEP was setting up specifics. She knows nothing about such

things but I do since her brother has had these sorts of issues all ofhis life and I well remember his school years. She has negative memoriesof them but I told her things were just starting out then in the 60s and

70s but now kids get services right away according to the law.Boy does she have a long ways to go, I guess we all do, but at least Iam not totally ignorant..Carolyn

wrote:>> My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting> more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset.> he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

>>------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi , thank you for the compliment. About the movies I do think my

daughter should not let him watch the ones he does but do not know if

she will listen to me because all three of her children have watched

pretty much all she has watched. She is kind of a movie nut. In a way I

think it has been ok because they really get into how movies are made,

the acting, etc. I ask Lucas sometimes, " You know that is fantasy don't

you? " And he says, " Yeeeees grandma, " like I am an idiot.

He is also now getting into video games, sigh. His big brother plays a

lot of violent video games and so do all his friends. I am against it

but he says, " Grandma we are only killing the bad guys. " It is hard to

know where to draw the line, we weren't ever going to allow him to have

video games but then he ruptured his spleen falling out of a tree and

was stuck in the hospital a few days and they rolled them into his room

to play and that started it.

Well today I get to take the three kids to the Lane County Fair, I do it

every year and it is kind of fun I guess. The bigger kids love the big

carnival rides of course and I stay away from them as much as I can, and

take Lucas on the little kids rides. He tends to really like them and

last year we went on the really big ferris wheel together and he liked

that. Their mom won't go, she has fibromyalgia and hates crowds anyway.

Sometimes I think she has autism issues herself to tell you the truth

the way she dislikes people and is always saying it...sigh.

So it falls on me, but I do think getting them especially the little one

right now out there and exposed to all sorts of stimulation is good for

him, and them, and me, gets us all out of our comfort zones.

Hope I get through it!

Carolyn

wrote:

> Hi Carolyn

> How wonderful that you care so much for your grandson and his welfare!

> I may not be qualified to give you an " academic " answer, but your post

> grabbed my heart. You said that your grandson watches lots of scary

> movies. I would suggest encouraging mom to change what he watches.

> Many people think movies are harmless, but I have seen how they have

> affected many in negative ways. Pictures and stories are powerful! It

> may not solve all your problems, but it couldn't hurt. You might be

> pleasantly surprised with the results.

> Blessings,

>

>

> On Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 10:51 AM, Carolyn <charper777@...

> > wrote:

>

> My grandson age 7 did something the other day that was surprising

> to me.

> Every Sunday we go to church and after church we go to Mc's

> where

> I buy the family lunch and then we go to the nearby park so Lucas can

> get out and play. He loves that. His older sister, brother, his

> mom and

> I usually sit in the van and eat and watch the children play.

> Sometimes

> the brother age 11 gets out and walks home though as it isn't too

> far as

> he does not want to wait.

>

> Usually Lucas has a great time and make friends very quickly and plays

> with them quite enthusiastically until it is time to go. Well last

> Sun.

> something different happened, there was a little girl about his age

> there and her older brother. I don't know what happened but all of a

> sudden we saw him marching towards the van. Clearly his feelings were

> hurt, and this is what he said, " I am going to kill them, I am

> going to

> gouge their eyes out, I am going to pull out all their insides.. " You

> have to realize this boy watches all sorts of scary movies like

> Pirates

> from the Caribbean and science fiction movies with tripods that eat

> people so I think he is just being dramatic and all of a sudden seemed

> amused at his choice of words he was using..

>

> His mom big sister and I were kind of speechless as he went on

> with his

> roll. He was just so dramatic and articulate sounded more like an

> adult

> that a kid. Oh yes and he kept saying, " Call the police! Call the

> police! " We tried to get out of him what had happened. It might have

> been the little girl was not so friendly towards his friendly advances

> and so he told her to shut up or something, and the big brother

> intervened and told him to stop it. This is what we suspect happened.

>

> School starts in a few weeks and we don't know what is going to

> happen.

> He got sent to the principals office last year for saying things like

> that, but not nearly so articulate or dramatic. Now they know he is

> aspergers as he was evaluated late last year, so hopefully things will

> be different.

>

> Do any of you others have specific instructions written in an IEP for

> your children when they get like this? I was telling my daughter the

> other day she needs to school the school so we can go in there and set

> one up. She said " Wasn't that what we did last year? " And I said

> no that

> was just the first step, the initial evaluation that he needs special

> services. The IEP was setting up specifics. She knows nothing

> about such

> things but I do since her brother has had these sorts of issues all of

> his life and I well remember his school years. She has negative

> memories

> of them but I told her things were just starting out then in the

> 60s and

> 70s but now kids get services right away according to the law.

>

> Boy does she have a long ways to go, I guess we all do, but at least I

> am not totally ignorant..

>

> Carolyn

>

>

>

> wrote:

> >

> > My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been

> getting

> > more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is

> upset.

> > he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

> >

> >

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/ This website has info on movies, books, video games, etc. It gives an age range of appropriateness and tells you all the things that one might object to like consumerism, foul language, etc. Check it out!! I love it, b/c then I know if a movie is worth taking the kids to or if there is something that would be bad for them to see. From: Carolyn

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 12:24 PMSubject: Re: Need advice for how to help my son get through his melt downsHi , thank you for the compliment. About the movies I do think my daughter should not let him watch the ones he does but do not know if she will listen to me because all three of her children have watched pretty much all she has watched. She is kind of a movie nut. In a way I think it has been ok because they really get into how movies are made, the acting, etc. I ask Lucas sometimes, "You know that is fantasy don't you?" And he says, "Yeeeees grandma," like I am an idiot.He is also now getting into video games, sigh. His big brother plays a lot of

violent video games and so do all his friends. I am against it but he says, "Grandma we are only killing the bad guys." It is hard to know where to draw the line, we weren't ever going to allow him to have video games but then he ruptured his spleen falling out of a tree and was stuck in the hospital a few days and they rolled them into his room to play and that started it.Well today I get to take the three kids to the Lane County Fair, I do it every year and it is kind of fun I guess. The bigger kids love the big carnival rides of course and I stay away from them as much as I can, and take Lucas on the little kids rides. He tends to really like them and last year we went on the really big ferris wheel together and he liked that. Their mom won't go, she has fibromyalgia and hates crowds anyway. Sometimes I think she has autism issues herself to tell you the truth the way she dislikes people and is

always saying it...sigh.So it falls on me, but I do think getting them especially the little one right now out there and exposed to all sorts of stimulation is good for him, and them, and me, gets us all out of our comfort zones.Hope I get through it!Carolyn wrote:> Hi Carolyn> How wonderful that you care so much for your grandson and his welfare!> I may not be qualified to give you an "academic" answer, but your post > grabbed my heart. You said that your grandson watches lots of scary > movies. I would suggest encouraging mom to change what he watches. > Many people think movies are harmless, but I have seen how they have > affected many in negative ways. Pictures and stories are powerful! It > may not solve all your problems, but it couldn't hurt. You might be > pleasantly surprised with the results.> Blessings,>

>> On Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 10:51 AM, Carolyn > wrote:>> My grandson age 7 did something the other day that was surprising> to me.> Every Sunday we go to church and after church we go to Mc's> where> I buy the family lunch and then we go to the nearby park so Lucas can> get out and play. He loves that. His older sister, brother, his> mom and> I usually sit in the van and eat and watch the children play.> Sometimes> the brother age 11 gets out and walks home though as it isn't

too> far as> he does not want to wait.>> Usually Lucas has a great time and make friends very quickly and plays> with them quite enthusiastically until it is time to go. Well last> Sun.> something different happened, there was a little girl about his age> there and her older brother. I don't know what happened but all of a> sudden we saw him marching towards the van. Clearly his feelings were> hurt, and this is what he said, "I am going to kill them, I am> going to> gouge their eyes out, I am going to pull out all their insides.." You> have to realize this boy watches all sorts of scary movies like> Pirates> from the Caribbean and science fiction movies with

tripods that eat> people so I think he is just being dramatic and all of a sudden seemed> amused at his choice of words he was using..>> His mom big sister and I were kind of speechless as he went on> with his> roll. He was just so dramatic and articulate sounded more like an> adult> that a kid. Oh yes and he kept saying, "Call the police! Call the> police!" We tried to get out of him what had happened. It might have> been the little girl was not so friendly towards his friendly advances> and so he told her to shut up or something, and the big brother> intervened and told him to stop it. This is what we suspect happened.>> School starts in a few weeks and we don't know what is going

to> happen.> He got sent to the principals office last year for saying things like> that, but not nearly so articulate or dramatic. Now they know he is> aspergers as he was evaluated late last year, so hopefully things will> be different.>> Do any of you others have specific instructions written in an IEP for> your children when they get like this? I was telling my daughter the> other day she needs to school the school so we can go in there and set> one up. She said "Wasn't that what we did last year?" And I said> no that> was just the first step, the initial evaluation that he needs special> services. The IEP was setting up specifics. She knows nothing> about such>

things but I do since her brother has had these sorts of issues all of> his life and I well remember his school years. She has negative> memories> of them but I told her things were just starting out then in the> 60s and> 70s but now kids get services right away according to the law.>> Boy does she have a long ways to go, I guess we all do, but at least I> am not totally ignorant..>> Carolyn>>>> wrote:> >> > My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been> getting> > more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is> upset.> > he has these melt downs at

least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.> >> >>>> ------------------------------------>>

[Guest guest]

,Behavior is a form of communication.  Look into what is setting him off or what is causing his anxiety.  If you can address that, you will see a different child.Debra

 

My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting more and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset. he has these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

[Guest guest]

I agree; there are some things our children CANNOT tolerate and if you identify

those things or environments and avoid them, your life will be much much easier

than trying to get your child to go along with whatever is happening.

Speaking from 14 years experience with an extremely sensitive child!

http://stores.ebay.com/Cammys-Clothing-Treasures

Cammy

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > My son is 6 years old and has aspergers syndrome...he has been getting more

> > and more aggressive to me and my other children when he is upset. he has

> > these melt downs at least 4-5 sometimes even more in a day.

> >

> >

> >

>