Re: Child not leaving your side

[Guest guest]

***************

I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to leave you.

***************

Kate (8 yrs old) was exactly this way for about a month after she was dx. I

think for her it was fear that she'd have an " episode " and she'd become

dependent on me for seeing what was going on and helping to coach her

through it.

Prior to the dx we would just get so frustrated with her! Trying to get her

to stop the behavior and/or telling her how ridiculous it was to be scared

of the stuff she said she was scared of. Once she had the dx and we had

some techniques to get her through it she was afraid she wouldn't be able to

handle it on her own.

She did get past that clinging, though. She still prefers that we're home

with her and doing whatever she expects we should be doing! But we've made

her grandparents aware of the situation and Kate knows she can call us on

the cell phone if she needs us. So far she's only called once, though.

In a couple of weeks we're trying our first time with a teenage babysitter

who does not know about the OCD. Kate's been doing really well, though, so

hopefully she'll be able to hold it together for the babysitter. We'll see!

Beth

[Guest guest]

Tracey,

this sounds more like my daughter with generalized anxiety disorder and several

years ago, separation anxiety,

than it does my OCD son. I wonder how one distinguishes separation anxiety from

bad thought OCD involving harm

to a parent. Actually, those thoughts were part of my daughter's problem. The

good news is, she has outgrown the

separation thing. She still has generalized anxiety, but nowhere near what it

used to be.

How old is your son?

Child not leaving your side

I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to leave you.

My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in that I can't

leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be with me,

needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I need to

direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind playing

tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he doesn't know

how to anymore........I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

emotionally drained......

Tracey

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[Guest guest]

Our son was this way, Tracey, when he was young. In fact the first

time I took him to a therapist, it was because I thought he had

separation anxiety. The therapist completely missed the OCD in him.

Our son's official diagnosis, now, is OCD and GAD. I remember reading

that it is not uncommon for those with OCD to also be dealing with

another anxiety disorder too. That might be the case for your son.

Our son outgrew it. It took him some time, but it gradually got

better over the years. There were some days when I thought he never

would get over it, but he did.

As far as what you can do in the here and now, I really don't know.

We didn't work on it with our son, because the therapist didn't think

it was separation anxiety either. (He was a quack - lol).

BJ

>

>

> I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to leave

you.

> My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in that

I can't

> leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be

with me,

> needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I

need to

> direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind playing

> tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he

doesn't know

> how to anymore........I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

> emotionally drained......

>

> Tracey

>

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date:

4/12/2008

> 11:32 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tracey,

Both of my kids with OCD were this way. They had severe anxiety. My daughter

would vomit and scream for hours if I had to leave her with a sitter when she

was younger. My son was awful too. When he was in pre-school I would get called

every day to come back and get him. He would cry and beg for me until I picked

him up.

This will pass. My daughter had to go on an SSRI before her separation anxiety

stopped. I know it's very difficult! Hang in there!

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Tracey

Both of my kids have gone through this for a few months at a time, then they

stop, then a year later it will come back. It is very annoying and tiresome to

deal with. I have tried the, oh they're distracted, i'm going to sneak out and

take a shower, and that seems to make it worse. Fear of abandonment stuff. Now

what I do, is give them a warning that in 5 minutes I am going to go take a

shower by myself. Ok, now i'm going to take a shower. They will cry and need to

sit in the calming chair til they calm down, but using that consistently it gets

better over a few days. Though my kids are 4. I don't now how well that would

work with older kids.

Best of luck to you

Child not leaving your side

I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to leave you.

My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in that I can't

leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be with me,

needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I need to

direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind playing

tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he doesn't know

how to anymore........I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

emotionally drained......

Tracey

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG.

Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date: 4/12/2008

11:32 AM

------------------------------------

Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar

Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.

(http://massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html ),Aureen Pinto Wagner,

Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Chris

Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. Subscription issues or

suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list administrator, at

louisharkins@... or louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You know what, I'm going to use the time warning with my 16 yr old.

I used to do what you do when he was younger. These kids can be so

rigid and like structure, so I find the time line really helps. That

and " 1 - 2 - 3 " , I'm amazed that this still works at my son's age.

Can I borrow your " calming chair " ? I think both my son and I could

benefit. I much prefer that term to the time out chair.

I know that twin 4 year olds much be really challenging, but reading

your post made me nostalgic for those days. I do remember locking

myself in the bathroom to get away too, so I have no illusions...

Let me know any other parenting tips you have. Parenting a teen is

much like parenting a very large 2-6 year old, so I bet I could

modify them...

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> Hi Tracey

> Both of my kids have gone through this for a few months at a time,

then they stop, then a year later it will come back. It is very

annoying and tiresome to deal with. I have tried the, oh they're

distracted, i'm going to sneak out and take a shower, and that seems

to make it worse. Fear of abandonment stuff. Now what I do, is give

them a warning that in 5 minutes I am going to go take a shower by

myself. Ok, now i'm going to take a shower. They will cry and need to

sit in the calming chair til they calm down, but using that

consistently it gets better over a few days. Though my kids are 4. I

don't now how well that would work with older kids.

> Best of luck to you

>

>

>

>

> Child not leaving your side

>

>

> I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to

leave you.

> My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in

that I can't

> leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be

with me,

> needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I

need to

> direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind

playing

> tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he

doesn't know

> how to anymore........I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

> emotionally drained......

>

> Tracey

>

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date:

4/12/2008

> 11:32 AM

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.

(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.

(http://massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html ),Aureen

Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list

moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb

Nesrallah. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to

Louis Harkins, list administrator, at louisharkins@... or

louisharkins@... .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb

I hope the claming chair helps. It has done wonders most days for my kids.

Good luck

Hugs back to you

Child not leaving your side

>

>

> I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to

leave you.

> My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in

that I can't

> leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be

with me,

> needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I

need to

> direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind

playing

> tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he

doesn't know

> how to anymore..... ...I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

> emotionally drained..... .

>

> Tracey

>

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date:

4/12/2008

> 11:32 AM

>

>

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ------

>

> Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at:

http://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.

(http://www.ocdaware ness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywis ekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.

(http://massgeneral. org/pediatricpsy ch/staff/ geller.html ),Aureen

Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthou se-press. com ). Our list

moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb

Nesrallah. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to

Louis Harkins, list administrator, at louisharkins@ ... or

louisharkins@ ... .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi . I just had such a chuckle when I thought of using

your " calming chair " with my 16 yr old! And as I say I know I could

certainly benefit from it.

Thanks for the chuckle.

Barb

> >

> > Hi Tracey

> > Both of my kids have gone through this for a few months at a

time,

> then they stop, then a year later it will come back. It is very

> annoying and tiresome to deal with. I have tried the, oh they're

> distracted, i'm going to sneak out and take a shower, and that

seems

> to make it worse. Fear of abandonment stuff. Now what I do, is give

> them a warning that in 5 minutes I am going to go take a shower by

> myself. Ok, now i'm going to take a shower. They will cry and need

to

> sit in the calming chair til they calm down, but using that

> consistently it gets better over a few days. Though my kids are 4.

I

> don't now how well that would work with older kids.

> > Best of luck to you

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Child not leaving your side

> >

> >

> > I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to

> leave you.

> > My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in

> that I can't

> > leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to

be

> with me,

> > needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I

> need to

> > direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind

> playing

> > tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he

> doesn't know

> > how to anymore..... ...I just wondered if anyone else had this?

I'm

> > emotionally drained..... .

> >

> > Tracey

> >

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG.

> > Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date:

> 4/12/2008

> > 11:32 AM

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------ --------- --------- ------

> >

> > Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at:

> http://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ / .

> > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.

> (http://www.ocdaware ness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywis ekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.

> (http://massgeneral. org/pediatricpsy ch/staff/

geller.html ),Aureen

> Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthou se-press. com ). Our

list

> moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb

> Nesrallah. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to

> Louis Harkins, list administrator, at louisharkins@ ... or

> louisharkins@ ... .

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yes! At the same time my dd was diagnosed with OCD, she was also

diagnosed with Separation Anxiety Disorder. I could not leave the

room either without hysterics. And don't even mention trying to go

outside to check the mail, or better yet, getting her to go outside

with bug phobias.

We had to work on the Separation Anxiety first, then the OCD.

It was very tiring. She started trying to control me, where I was,

where I should stand or sit.

Good luck and have strength.

>

>

> I wondered if anyone has their OCD child that does not want to

leave you.

> My son since he has been diagnosed, it's as if he's 2 again, in

that I can't

> leave the room without him knowing where I am - always wants to be

with me,

> needs to know where I am etc. I always have to manage his time, I

need to

> direct him - it's like he does not what to do and with his mind

playing

> tricks on him he needs to have something to do but it's like he

doesn't know

> how to anymore........I just wondered if anyone else had this? I'm

> emotionally drained......

>

> Tracey

>

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG.

> Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1375 - Release Date:

4/12/2008

> 11:32 AM

>