Re: Frustrated

[Guest guest]

Wow, that sounds identical to what I would have expected from my 15 year old

son. He has a twin sister who would have hugged and kissed on me all day for

the same thing. I have to admit though, I was a bit stressed at Christmas by

what I figured his reaction would be to his gifts and he suprised me. It was a

great day for him and he was quite patient and grateful. Maybe we have hope,

but the steps are very small.

Lori

[Guest guest]

Special days are hard here too. My husband gets more frustrated than I do. He just feels like our son has to PURPOSELY RUIN our family fun time like he's on a mission to do so (at least that's what he says to me. I think intellectually he knows better, but says that to me out of frustration/ venting. I think you gave her a VERY nice birthday and she might not appreciate it now, but she will when she's older!!Hang in there!! To: AspergersSupport ; autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2012 1:07 AM Subject: Frustrated

Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said "I made you some muffins for breakfast." She said "I know" and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!

Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to answer.

Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says "fine". By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say "Your Welcome!" to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles "thanks". Uggg!

I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset.

I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her birthday.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

May I possibly say that your daughter's behavior is a positive sign, in a way? She's behaving like a typical teen! I do understand how it hurts you, though. Raising a neurotypical teen is a huge challenge. Add ASD to it and boy, oh, boy. Treat yourself, Mom. You deserve it. To: AspergersSupport ; autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday,

January 19, 2012 1:07 AM Subject: Frustrated

Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said "I made you some muffins for breakfast." She said "I know" and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!

Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to answer.

Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says "fine". By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say "Your Welcome!" to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles "thanks". Uggg!

I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset.

I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her birthday.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Hello , reading your account of your daughter reminds me so much

of my granddaughter who will be 15 in a few months. She is just as you

described almost daily also. As far as we know she doesn't have any

particular disabilities is just really emotional and everything is all

about her all the time. Hopefully they outgrow that but I know not

everybody does.

You are doing a good job so don't despair!

Carolyn ;o)

Muehleisen Family wrote:

>

> Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make

> her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten

> free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast

> before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said " I made you some

> muffins for breakfast. " She said " I know " and then complained about

> the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the

> pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!

> Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was

> her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained

> that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school

> started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her

> that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she

> wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

> I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts

> like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to

> open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and

> she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner,

> she refused to answer.

> Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce

> in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his

> birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy

> dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and

> made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a

> special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her

> lunch...she says " fine " . By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a

> little sarcastic with her and say " Your Welcome! " to which she rolls

> her eyes and mumbles " thanks " . Uggg!

> I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and

> then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that

> it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle

> special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That

> being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and

> appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel

> guilty for being upset.

> I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least,

> will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is

> enjoying her birthday.

> Thanks for letting me vent.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I always tell my son, " I did this special for you because I love you. "  Then I give him a hug and tell him that I love him.  I get a hug back and sometimes he tells me that he loves me too.  I never just expect that he will acknowledge my extra effort.  He never does.  

I also think that girls are harder on moms.  My NT daughter expects, expects, expects.... and if I don't come through, I get attitude.  That may be just the way the ball bounces until she is old enough to want to be like me.  Then she'll realize I was a pretty decent mom - though I still push her for some common courtesy, even if it comes begrudgingly.

 

Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said " I made you some muffins for breakfast. " She said " I know " and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!

 

Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

 

I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to answer.

 

Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says " fine " . By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say " Your Welcome! " to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles " thanks " . Uggg!

 

I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...).  She doesn't handle special days well. At least they are better than they used to be.  That being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset.

 

I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be appreciative and happy.  I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her birthday.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are giving her what you would want rather than what she might want, in terms of making a day special.She might want guilt-free indulgence of her love of routine, for instance. Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said "I made you some muffins for breakfast." She said "I know" and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg! Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN! I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to answer. Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says "fine". By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say "Your Welcome!" to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles "thanks". Uggg! I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset. I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her birthday. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Yesterday (Wed) was also my son's birthday! He turned 6.

I am sorry that it was tough for your daughter. All around my son had a great

day and that is so rare. It was a nice change. I am just glad that he didn't

throw a fit about what I got him. I, too, got up early to make muffins. And I

took him to the bus stop, something his dad has been doing lately. While at

school, I added more decorations and when he got home I finally let him open one

more present to keep him busy (after homework, of course). It is tough, though,

trying to catch certain things ahead of time just to avoid the negative stuff. I

am still trying to learn, but it can be so exhausting!!!

>

> Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day

> as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free

> blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She

> walked into the kitchen and I said " I made you some muffins for breakfast. "

> She said " I know " and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to

> the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners.

> Ugg!

>

> Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her

> birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were

> going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less

> than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she

> could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

>

> I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she

> is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her

> presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a

> little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to

> answer.

>

> Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the

> packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is

> tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed

> animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops

> (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get

> home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says " fine " . By now, my

> patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say " Your

> Welcome! " to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles " thanks " . Uggg!

>

> I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then

> she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard

> day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle special days well. At

> least they are better than they used to be. That being said I feel that it

> is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still

> being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset.

>

> I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be

> appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her

> birthday.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Debra,You are a great mom. They don't know how to handle these special days. After all, every day is a special day to them - they are way too self-centered to understand it when people really want to celebrate them. Hang in there. And vent all you want, WE UNDERSTAND!~Carly (White Bear Lake, MN) To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2012 12:21 PM Subject: Re: Frustrated

I always tell my son, "I did this special for you because I love you." Then I give him a hug and tell him that I love him. I get a hug back and sometimes he tells me that he loves me too. I never just expect that he will acknowledge my extra effort. He never does.

I also think that girls are harder on moms. My NT daughter expects, expects, expects.... and if I don't come through, I get attitude. That may be just the way the ball bounces until she is old enough to want to be like me. Then she'll realize I was a pretty decent mom - though I still push her for some common courtesy, even if it comes begrudgingly.

Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said "I made you some muffins for breakfast." She said "I know" and then complained about the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!

Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained that we were going to be late. It was a half hour before school started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!

I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, she refused to answer.

Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a special treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her lunch...she says "fine". By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a little sarcastic with her and say "Your Welcome!" to which she rolls her eyes and mumbles "thanks". Uggg!

I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel guilty for being upset.

I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is enjoying her birthday.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

, I know it gets very frustrating with children with aspergers. My son is unable to express himself and on special days seems to shut down even more. I think your daughter understands and appreciates everything that you are doing for her, but is unable to express how truly appreciative she is. My son looks to his peers to know how to respond to situations, and that may be the case with her as well. Many children without disabilities show no appreciation and just act like it is their right to get whatever they want.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2012 11:42 AMSubject: Re: FrustratedHello , reading your account of your daughter reminds me so much of my granddaughter who will be 15 in a few months. She is just as you described almost daily also. As far as we know she doesn't have any particular disabilities is just really

emotional and everything is all about her all the time. Hopefully they outgrow that but I know not everybody does.You are doing a good job so don't despair!Carolyn ;o)Muehleisen Family wrote:>> Today is my daughter's 15th birthday. I had wonderful plans to make > her day as wonderful as possible. I got up at 6am to make her gluten > free/egg free blueberry muffins so she could have a nice breakfast > before school. She walked into the kitchen and I said "I made you some > muffins for breakfast." She said "I know" and then complained about > the muffin liners sticking to the muffins. Note to self, grease the > pan next time instead of using liners. Ugg!> Oh well...I told her I would drive her to school today since it was > her birthday (she usually walks). She got made at me and complained > that we were going to be late. It was a half hour

before school > started and we live less than 5 minutes from the school. I told her > that if she wanted to walk, she could. She didn't want to walk but she > wanted me to take her RIGHT THEN!> I picked her up from school so she didn't have to walk and she acts > like she is mad at me. Then proceeds to demand that she be allowed to > open her presents as soon as we get home. I told her after dinner and > she threw a little fit. I asked her where she wanted to eat dinner, > she refused to answer.> Last night, I went to the store special to buy Lunchables, applesauce > in the packets and strawberry milk for both her and her brother (his > birthday is tomorrow). I also bought her a cute little bug eye'd puppy > dog stuffed animal that clips on to...whatever. Then I came home and > made cake pops (gluten free/egg free) and put them in her lunch for a > special

treat. We get home and I asked her how she liked her > lunch...she says "fine". By now, my patience is dwindling and I get a > little sarcastic with her and say "Your Welcome!" to which she rolls > her eyes and mumbles "thanks". Uggg!> I'll take her to dinner tonight then to Cold Stone for ice cream and > then she is going to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that > it's a hard day for her (too much sensory...). She doesn't handle > special days well. At least they are better than they used to be. That > being said I feel that it is my job to teach her to be grateful and > appreciative. That lesson is still being taught. Of course, now I feel > guilty for being upset.> I'm going to do the whole thing over again for my son. He, at least, > will be appreciative and happy. I know that in her own way, she is > enjoying her birthday.> Thanks for letting

me vent.> >> >> ------------------------------------