Update on son

[Guest guest]

Hello everybody, I wrote an update on my grandson Lucas the other

day and now want to share one about my son . We are about 40 years

ahead of most of you with children on the spectrum. My son is 47 years

old now and has been through many stages of development growth and

problems we have all overcome by the grace of God.

I will write a little history for the newbies, I know you others

have heard all of this. I had three sons when my youngest, Marty, began

having seizures. He was about 2 at the time. I took him to a

pediatrician and then a neurologist and was told he had epilepsy. So he

started on drugs but they did not help and the seizures got constantly

worse, in intensity and numbers. Then I noticed he quit talking and did

not do his letters or numbers anymore, seemed to revert into his mind

more and not reach out. Don't know if it was the drugs or the brain

changing.

He went to the psychology dept at the University of Oregon and got

put on behavior management. Taking my grandson over there the other day

sure brought back memories of that. Then he began school at a special

school called Pearl Buck Center. They used behavior management there,

gave a m & m candy for a successful act like putting a peg in a hole

correctly. He did some of it but mostly was not very responsive as he

was quite drugged at the time. As he got older he had some good spells

and some very bad spells the worst when he got to be about 12 was what

they called non-compliance. They used many behavior programs to try and

get him to comply but he would not yield and give in and became quite

disruptive and violent.

Then they mainstreamed him into public school, thinking that was a

good idea but I was skeptical. I was right because his behavior

accelerated and he became out of control. So I took him out and kept him

home. Interestingly he shouted on the way home; " Marty good boy! Marty

good boy! " and had not spoken in probably six years. It was like he just

wanted somebody to finally be on his side. I eventually sent him back to

high school to try it one more time, they had an aide, etc. but it

didn't work so I took him out for good.

He has been home ever since. At first he was very violent and

combative every single day, lasted about eight years then he stopped one

day. I had been praying and attribute it to God's merciful intervention.

Once his violence stopped though he became sick and was in and out of

the hospital with life threatening pneumonia, etc. about ten years and

nearly died many times, got a food tube put in and a trach in his throat

to breath. We got the trach out but he still has the food tube in. Does

not speak at all. We take him to the bathroom several times a day and

change his Depends, he does bowel movements in the toilet.

He is very bright and alert, will look you right in the eye and

seems to understand a lot. He spends all day sitting in his chair

stringing shoe laces into a shoe. He makes all sorts of designs. It

calms him and he only takes a drug for the seizures nothing else.

So we are up to date. We've had two wheelchairs for him from

Medicare for about ten years and on Tue. I took him to be evaluated for

a power chair as I am 70 years old now and have arthritis in one of my

knees and he is heavy and hard to push. He is 165 lb. now and a very

handsome strong boy.

I would just tell all mother out there with disabled kids to turn

to God. He has helped me through all of this and has helped my son, and

not only that I believe I have a purpose in encouraging other mothers

going through similar things in life. God is there, call on Him, He

loves you, He will help you.

I spend my days taking care of him, and also three of my grandkids.

I have seven in all, but see three almost every day and do a lot with

them. My youngest is Lucas who we've learned has autism aspergers we

believe although the doctor has not yet given us her official diagnosis.

We take him in on Mon. for her to work one on one with him.

Hope this is not too long, tried to keep it brief! Haha

Much love and prayers to you all,

Carolyn in Springfield, Oregon, USA ;o)

[Guest guest]

Just read that over and realized I forgot to mention my daughter! I had

her about six years after Marty and she has been a real joy and blessing

to us. She has the three kids nearby that I mentioned. Her father my

husband and I were married for 31 years and divorced because he became

an alcoholic, a few years later he died of cirrhosis. My oldest son and

daughter are also alcoholics but the son has not drank in two years, and

the daughter for one year now. Mothers prayers answered! But we have a

long ways to go I know. I have another husband, and he has had a heart

attack, heart surgery, a new knee, and a few other things. He does not

go out to work so helps me to care for my son here at home. We are

mostly very happy but have trials to go through as you can imagine.

God's grace has been sufficient though I must say! He can help you too

if you call upon him, is no respecter of persons, loves everybody the same.

Carolyn

Carolyn wrote:

>

> Hello everybody, I wrote an update on my grandson Lucas the other

> day and now want to share one about my son . We are about 40 years

> ahead of most of you with children on the spectrum. My son is 47 years

> old now and has been through many stages of development growth and

> problems we have all overcome by the grace of God.

>

> I will write a little history for the newbies, I know you others

> have heard all of this. I had three sons when my youngest, Marty, began

> having seizures. He was about 2 at the time. I took him to a

> pediatrician and then a neurologist and was told he had epilepsy. So he

> started on drugs but they did not help and the seizures got constantly

> worse, in intensity and numbers. Then I noticed he quit talking and did

> not do his letters or numbers anymore, seemed to revert into his mind

> more and not reach out. Don't know if it was the drugs or the brain

> changing.

>

> He went to the psychology dept at the University of Oregon and got

> put on behavior management. Taking my grandson over there the other day

> sure brought back memories of that. Then he began school at a special

> school called Pearl Buck Center. They used behavior management there,

> gave a m & m candy for a successful act like putting a peg in a hole

> correctly. He did some of it but mostly was not very responsive as he

> was quite drugged at the time. As he got older he had some good spells

> and some very bad spells the worst when he got to be about 12 was what

> they called non-compliance. They used many behavior programs to try and

> get him to comply but he would not yield and give in and became quite

> disruptive and violent.

>

> Then they mainstreamed him into public school, thinking that was a

> good idea but I was skeptical. I was right because his behavior

> accelerated and he became out of control. So I took him out and kept him

> home. Interestingly he shouted on the way home; " Marty good boy! Marty

> good boy! " and had not spoken in probably six years. It was like he just

> wanted somebody to finally be on his side. I eventually sent him back to

> high school to try it one more time, they had an aide, etc. but it

> didn't work so I took him out for good.

>

> He has been home ever since. At first he was very violent and

> combative every single day, lasted about eight years then he stopped one

> day. I had been praying and attribute it to God's merciful intervention.

> Once his violence stopped though he became sick and was in and out of

> the hospital with life threatening pneumonia, etc. about ten years and

> nearly died many times, got a food tube put in and a trach in his throat

> to breath. We got the trach out but he still has the food tube in. Does

> not speak at all. We take him to the bathroom several times a day and

> change his Depends, he does bowel movements in the toilet.

>

> He is very bright and alert, will look you right in the eye and

> seems to understand a lot. He spends all day sitting in his chair

> stringing shoe laces into a shoe. He makes all sorts of designs. It

> calms him and he only takes a drug for the seizures nothing else.

>

> So we are up to date. We've had two wheelchairs for him from

> Medicare for about ten years and on Tue. I took him to be evaluated for

> a power chair as I am 70 years old now and have arthritis in one of my

> knees and he is heavy and hard to push. He is 165 lb. now and a very

> handsome strong boy.

>

> I would just tell all mother out there with disabled kids to turn

> to God. He has helped me through all of this and has helped my son, and

> not only that I believe I have a purpose in encouraging other mothers

> going through similar things in life. God is there, call on Him, He

> loves you, He will help you.

>

> I spend my days taking care of him, and also three of my grandkids.

> I have seven in all, but see three almost every day and do a lot with

> them. My youngest is Lucas who we've learned has autism aspergers we

> believe although the doctor has not yet given us her official diagnosis.

> We take him in on Mon. for her to work one on one with him.

>

> Hope this is not too long, tried to keep it brief! Haha

>

> Much love and prayers to you all,

> Carolyn in Springfield, Oregon, USA ;o)

>

>