Yesterday's move to LTC

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone

As promised, here is the story of yesterday...

I got up and decided that I was going to go to Versa Care (LTC) and see the

space for mom. I would then be more " prepared " when we arrived with the

ambulance. I went to the front desk and asked for " Jeanette " who I had met

twice in person and talked on the phone a couple of times since my mom broke her

arm. I had explained about Lewy and the worries I had had about the " third

floor " locked in unit etc. and that I felt mom would do much better in the

second floor. Well, I ask for Jeanette and I am told she is not here. I say is

she away today? and am told she has left the job. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! I ask

for the person who replaced her (so I could start over telling them about mom,

and was told the Director of Care was doing both jobs for now. I speak with her

and she tells me mom is going to be in room 317. I say that I put down " second

floor " and explain why, and she calls someone else (I forget her

title--something like " documentist " ). I talk to her for about an hour and

go over my mom and Lewy which she has heard of and seems to understand. She

says she will start mom on the second floor and they will review in about 6

weeks. I am relieved. She then shows me her room on the second floor. I tell

her that I had requested a semi-private (she was showing me a ward) and she

proceeded to show me another 2 rooms that were semis. One had a lady in bed

lying pretty quiet, the other had a friendly sort, walking about but clearly

spreading her stuff all over the room. There certainly was dementia present but

not sure what type. She also showed me another room when I requested a window.

This room had another lady lying in bed. She had a scottish accent but seemed

nice. I don't think she is able to get herself out of bed either. There was a

tv that was clearly on my mother's side of the bed. I was concerned as I wanted

to bring in one for mom. I thought that maybe we should pick the lady that was

walking around but she encouraged me to take the

room with " " (scottish lady) as she was worried that " Jennie " might take

mom's things. Good point. I will worry about the tv thing later.

I then met with the physiotherapist. I got a good feeling about him. He was

going to see mom the next morning. I then met the activation specialist

(activities director). She informed me that she had been there 17 yrs. and

another person 14 yrs, and another 12 yrs etc. I told her how I was upset

about Jeanette and she explained that the new job was 5 minutes from her house

instead of the hour drive to this one. Good answer.

I left at 11:45 am after shedding a few tears. I arrived at the hospital to

find mom sitting in the wheelchair. Her lunch arrived right after me. It was

fish and chips...her favorite. A good omen.

She eats reasonably well and then begins to eat the soup by herself. I leave

her for a moment to talk to the nurse about her B12 shot. This is the 5th day I

have asked about it and I am determined that she will get it before the

ambulance comes at 3:30 pm. Mom has an appt. at the fracture clinic at 1:30 pm

and I want to make sure that we are going to get there. The nurse says that she

will have someone take us down as soon as mom is finished eating. I go back to

the room to find two women chatting with mom. It turns out that it is a woman

that used to work with mom at Eaton's when she worked with the shoes. (Please

refer to past posts if you don't understand) She came to visit mom and brought

her a beany baby puppy. I can't believe this as I had only spoken to her for a

few minutes at the grocery store about 3 weeks ago about mom.

Anyway, as they are leaving, the ambulance arrives for mom. It is 1 pm. I

begin to panic. I go to the nurses station and they are telling me that mom

doesn't need to go to her appt. as a doctor has seen her everyday. I tell them

that I want to go so I can talk to the doctor about her physio, when she should

remove the cast for good, and perhaps they were going to x ray the arm and hip

today. They try to tell me that the appt. would have been cancelled but I am

not buying into that as I had gone to the fracture clinic the day before to

confirm that we still had an appt. So I do what I always do in such important

moments...I cry. No, I sob uncontrollably. This other lady who I had never

met, comes over and inquires. She is an important lady. I know this because

not only does she tell me that I have a right to go to the appt. but she will

personally take me there with mom. She is the director of patient care. She

says the ambulance can just come back at 3:30 as planned.

She takes us downstairs and into the fracture clinic through the " back door " .

After a couple of minutes, a resident comes in and takes mom for x-rays. We go

out past the millions of people in the wait room and wait just outside the door

to xray. As we are standing there, my aunt Joyce appears. I cant believe it as

I saw her monday and she said that she wouldn't likely be able to get to see mom

again before going to Florida this weekend for a month. I didn't get a chance

to phone her about mom being moved, but by chance, my uncle had an appt. and she

finished what she was doing in time to go with him. I filled her in on the

details of the day. Mom went to xray and then back to the fracture clinic and I

brought Joyce along this time. They looked at mom's arm xray and said it had

healed enough that she didn't need the cast splint. He wrote on a paper for the

physiotherapist that mom could use a high up walker as well as other

instructions. She got to see her hip with the

screws and plate. We made a new appt. for 6 weeks. We left for the room. It

was 3 pm. Mom was asking to go to the bathroom. I went to the nurse to ask for

help and Joyce left.

The nurse was frantic. She said the doctor hadn't ordered the prescriptions and

that mom couldn't leave without them. She was phoning him and said that this

was more important than changing my mom as the ambulance could arrive soon. Mom

had not been changed or toileted since before 11 am. She was saying that she

was so uncomfortable. I told her not to hold it back, to just pee but I hated

to do that. I began to take off the blanket, undo the wheelchair feet etc. I

pack mom's stuff. I wait. I get impatient. I hover in the hall. The

ambulance guys arrive. The nurse and another nurse comes and helps mom get on

the toilet. She takes a few minutes but eventually pees. The guys are waiting

outside (talk about pressure). They put her on the gurney and the nurse is

still freaking as the doctor is now refusing to sign what his resident should

have done...the ambulance guys are threatening to put mom back to bed and leave

as they have already waited a long time (apparently a

no-no that they are docked pay for). I remember about the B12 and the nurse

comes and gives it to mom. I beg them to wait as I don't want to have mom moved

again, and have to wait I don't know how many hours until another one comes

back. They say they have agreed to wait 10 more minutes and it is almost up. I

go back to the nursing station and have the director of care paged. While I am

waiting I beg the social worker to help. She tells me that a doctor is on his

way up. I run back to the ambulance guys and tell them that. They are looking

at their watches. I go back to the nursing station and wait. The doctor arrives

and is writing but arguing with the nurse that this isn't necessary....the

ambulance guys say they are going to go ahead and I can bring the papers.

After what seemed like forever, the papers were ready. I left the station

thanking everyone for helping mom, including the very nice physiotherapist who

even checked what the doc had wrote on the paper and called him back to clarify

something about moms arm. He also copied all his notes and wrote his phone

number at the hospital should the other physiotherapist wish to contact him. I

began the drive through rush hour traffic thinking mom was at least 20 min.

ahead of me. I was frustrated as I wondered what was happening there. I got

there and the ambulance was still there. Apparently I took a faster route (or a

faster elevator) as I was only 5 minutes behind them.

Mom was in bed but was saying " can I get some food in this place? " She was so

alert and with it. The best since surgery. Go figure. I go talk to the nurse

as no one has greeted me yet. She says that mom will have to have a shower so

she can check her over head to toe and mark down any sores, bruises marks etc.

I think " oh shit, mom hates showers...what a bad start " but say " Mom, they have

to shower you so they can look you over and make sure that no one causes any

extra injury or that they are blamed for something that was already there " and

she says " that's okay, I understand. " I am beginning to wonder what the hell

happened today, because I would like to do it again tomorrow.

They put her on a commode type chair and wheel her in. She is sprayed with the

water and then the water is shut off and she is soaped up. The nurse is there

too, writing down the bruising as the PSW dictates and points out marks. Mom is

shaking and shivering. I feel sick to my stomach as I know how awful this must

be to her. We get her in her hospital gown again and the PSW asks me to help

her pull up her diaper. This is a contraption I haven't seen before it is like

a diaper that sits inside and elasticized panty. (Anyone remember that my

mother HATES elastic and cuts off the top of her socks so it is not against her

skin?). I mention that I have not seen this kind before and that my mom had the

type with the tabs at the hospital etc. They get her a wheelchair and put her

in it.

They bring her to the living room of the floor. The nurse comes up and says the

doctor has reviewed mom's meds and has decided to take her off the didrical and

put her on and Calcium with Vitamin D instead. Okay. The doctor comes up to

me and tells me the same thing. He is there every day. Seems nice. I don't

ask him about Lewy Body as I guess I was tired and too overwhelmed with stuff.

Mom is still asking for food. Many people go to the first floor to eat, she is

to remain with the 8 or so people who don't go downstairs. I am not sure why

but I guess it is to observe her eating. One lady is really grumpy. The other

two don't say anything. Mom reaches out for the grumpy lady's arm. I just

about died. I reached out and stopped mom saying " what are you doing?! " She

said " she has the same cut on her arm as me (she did too). I explain to the

lady and I introduce mom to the rest. I ask if they watch Wheel of Fortune.

One answers that she does, but that someone usually changes the channel so she

just goes back to her room.

The room is filling up with wheelchairs and people from downstairs. They are

returning after dinner. Mom has eaten a little, but ate all the desert (cream

pie). She drank her tea and the lady beside her took mom's cup. I tried to give

her her tea but she clearly wanted moms cup so I didn't know what to do so I let

her have it. She poured the water out of her glass into mom's cup. Meanwhile I

sense someone behind me. I say sorry and pull in my chair. This old man says

" you have beautiful hair, can I touch it? " I think to myself, " poor old guy,

probably his wife had long hair " so I say " sure " . Next thing I know he is

touching my shoulders and neck. Oh sh*t, what have I done now....the PSW comes

running over and chastizes him. I am feeling pretty stupid but I wasn't freaked

out. I tried to make a joke " I should have brought my hairbrush " but she

wheeled him away and no one else seemed to notice. This could only happen to

me. Wait till I tell Steve. Ha!Ha!

They put on Wheel of Fortune and I make my exit. I cry all the way home. It

has been a long day. It is the first day of mom never coming back home and I

hate it. It went well I guess. I am pretty sad and stressed. I go straight to

the liquor cupboard and pour myself a stiff one. I make a sandwich as I realize

I haven't eaten lunch or dinner. My husband asks me what's wrong? and I don't

even know what to say except I will be alright...at about 9 pm I remember that I

was going to bring mom's medicine in as the pharmacy wouldn't probably bring it

until tomorrow. Sh*t! I was so tired I forgot I was going to go back. I

forgive myself and say that it will have to wait until morning as I can't drive

and for some reason the police had blocked off the road as I was leaving anyway

so I dont even know if I could have gotten back. I wait until morning. I go to

bed at 9:30 pm and decide to take a sleeping pill. I sleep for awhile but wake

and have thoughts running through my head. I

am tired though and drift off again. I am very dozy in the morning and the

metallic taste I have had all day has been awful.

There you have it. The arrival of Maggie. If you are not totally bored by now,

read " the next day " . I will try not to make it so long.

Kath