Guest guest Posted December 29, 2002 Report Share Posted December 29, 2002 I honestly wonder if these fears that my child has are " normal " fears. Where do you draw the line as to what's a normal fear and what isn't? I would think at 9 years old that my child could go to sleep on her own but for some reason there's a lot of anxiety. Is this something that I should take seriously since she is getting older? Thanks, In a message dated 12/29/2002 7:34:51 PM Eastern Standard Time, kandyg@... writes: > Our eleven year old with OCD sleeps on the floor in our bedroom on > comforters. He is scared to sleep in his room alone and will not > sleep in or on top of his bed. He has always been this way. My > husband use to wait until he fell asleep and then sneak out of the > room but my son would wake up, searching urgently through the house > until he found one of us. No one has getting any sleep. Atleast he > can sleep through the night now. > Our four year old can't sleep alone or even go in another room > without being scared. Both children have fears of dark places. > > Kandy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2002 Report Share Posted December 29, 2002 Dear , It is easier for me to determine what is a real fear but the line gets very fuzzy at times. I had several small strokes a few years ago and last year my physicans said there was nothing further they could do, my illness was degenerative. My vascular system is a mess. Our children have the same syndrome I have which caused serious pain in my son's joints last year. Having a fear of losing your mother is a real fear. Fearing that you will have similar medical problems like your mother, is a real fear. Having anaphylaxic shock to eating something that has dairy, when you are allergic, and fearing you won't be able to breath is a real fear. Our children need us more than other children, is that due to real fear. Well, if I look at OCD as an illness, then yes, I think it becomes a real fear for them. But, the obsession that drives many of the compulsions are not real fears. I don't know about sleep fears and why my children need to sleep with us or in the same room. I don't see this as an obsession or compulsion. It may be the only time that they feel truly safe. I gave up fighting this one a long time ago. I think all of us as parents fear, real or unreal, about the future. Will our children make it? Will our children be able to survive in this world without us? I certainly worry about this daily. Prayer nad hope are my only relief. Sometimes when everything seems to be going so wrong, I realize how wonderful my children really are. Kandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2002 Report Share Posted December 29, 2002 OCD kids tend to have fears that normal children have, but they are exaggerated. I think you should take them seriously in that your child is really suffering from them and needs help to conquer those fears. After inept psychotherapy was ineffective with separation and sleep anxieties when my son was 5, I bought him a bunch of guardian angel pins to pin everywhere, and that helped some. But it was not effective in the long run--I didn't know he had OCD and that he needed a different kind of help to overcome his fears. Judy Re: Sleeping with OCD I honestly wonder if these fears that my child has are " normal " fears. Where do you draw the line as to what's a normal fear and what isn't? I would think at 9 years old that my child could go to sleep on her own but for some reason there's a lot of anxiety. Is this something that I should take seriously since she is getting older? Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2002 Report Share Posted December 30, 2002 Hi , you wrote: >I honestly wonder if these fears that my child has are " normal " fears. Where do you draw the line as to what's a normal fear and what isn't? I draw the line (ie suspect OCD) when a fear is out of bounds, is impairing, or interfering with normal day-to-day life. >I would think at 9 years old that my child could go to sleep on her own but for some reason there's a lot of anxiety. Is this something that I should take seriously since she is getting older? My daughter will be 9 in a couple of weeks. If she couldn't fall asleep on her own I would be taking it seriously since this problem could start limiting her life re: overnights, camp etc. There are just too many normal situations where I (or whoever she may " need " ) may not be able to be with her each night at bedtime. I know of one child 13 who, if Mom can't be there, stays awake all night! As a start, would your child consider reading in bed until she gets sleepy, watching TV or listening to music until drowsy? (**If these things help your child feel relaxed/drowsy.) Do you know what her anxiety at bedtime is about? (Separation, fear of darkness, nightmares or ??) Figuring that out can help suggest some ideas to minimize/overcome it. Having anxiety about going to bed every night is pretty miserable in itself, and may be reason enough to address it. My two cents. Kathy R. in Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2002 Report Share Posted December 31, 2002 Dear , I honestly think they are afraid. My 9 year old is terribly afraid. I remember back when I was his age and realize my tremendous fear and everyone thought I was being silly. That is the only way to believe....if you've been there too. We have 2 beds in my son's room. My husband and I have not slept in the same bed in years, yes years. But we must do what is best in making our child feel secure until the day that he is ok on his own. I think that having ocd and now realize I speak from my own ocd that your imagination runs wild at bedtime. Not with one particular thought but many, an old nightmare, a look from a stranger, the monsters in the closet and under the bed. It's a photographic memory this ocd gives you! (What a gift) ugh! If it isn't one thing it's another. Believe me their fears are real. Beverly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2003 Report Share Posted January 2, 2003 hi, My name is Angie, I havent posted for awhile, I have an eight year old daughter with ocd (pretty mild, for now at least, zoloft has worked wonders) she has always slept with us. I think this could be " normal " behaviour. My older daughter, who is now 16, slept with us until she was 13 (in our bed off and on until around nine or so, and on our floor in a sleeping bag until she was 13) , and my son who is now 13, slept with us until he was around 6 or 7, and slept on our floor till he was 12. It drove me nuts at the time, we had four kids sleeping with us or around us. (we also have a daughter who is 7--she pretty much sleeps on her own, shows up in the early am to cuddle, or sleeps with us during storms, nightmares etc) sometimes I felt like I was climbing over an obstacle course with all the comforters and sleeping bags on our floor. I have a friend who has a 13 year old son who sleeps in her room on the floor. I think it is more common than we think as most people arent going to volunteer that their preteens and teens still sleep in their room, but start asking around and talking about it and its amazing how many families this is common in. Now that my oldest daughter is almost grown, we have talked about it and she said she was just scared sometimes and felt better sleeping with the family. Both of the older kids just gradually started sleeping in their own rooms, its funny, but I cant really even remember exactly when they stopped sleeping in our room. angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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