Re: I don't know what to do

[Guest guest]

Dear Marilyn,

It doesn't sound like a good idea to go with your sister and her family to

Disneyworld. Maybe you can take parallel trips and meet for breakfast, lunch

or dinner and keep the boys separate for now. I think you should take the

trip but, for your families sake keep a lot of separation there. Maybe you

and your sister can spend an afternoon together and the husbands can watch

the kids (separately) If your son has a really bad experience, it might make

the next trip impossible to get to.

It will be OK! Good luck!

Beverly in CA

[Guest guest]

Marilyn-forgive me-I'm rather brain dead but why did you say he needs to be

lowered on the Paxil. We went from that to Celexa with wonderful results and

definitely not much weight gain. Ellen

[Guest guest]

Hi Marilyn, it sounds like you're getting the school problem sorted out. I

don't know why teachers will let a situation go on some times, but with

bringing his work home coupled with the wake-up call to the teachers, you should

soon know what and where the problems lie.

Regarding the trip, my advice is to go, because:

1. Right now is experiencing worsened symptoms due to having his

medications adjusted. He may very well be stabilized by spring break.

2. Kids are often able to take " vacations " from their disorders when away from

their usual situations. My daughter is like this, though I never would have

believed it until we tried a vacation. It was also to Disneyworld and etc. and

provided several days of much-needed relaxation and a break for all of us from

the grind of the then-severe OCD.

3. It's a normal, family thing to do. We tend to give these things up when in

the grips of a disorder like OCD, our whole lives become focused on the

disorder. It's my guess you all could use a vacation here soon :-)

We've often traveled with my sister or both sisters and their families. Since

OCD we've made a few different arrangements: we stay in our own place, not rent

a condo together, and drive ourselves to Disneyworld or wherever we are meeting

that day. That way we are not " stuck " there until others are ready to leave,

and have a place to retreat (our hotel) where it's just us. All the families

came and went at their own convenience, no waiting around all morning to meet at

Disneyworld because one sister's family overslept and was running late. We used

cell phones to find each other as we arrived at the park. We also agreed that

any family could opt out of plans without hurt feelings or whatever, so we had

several days where we were at a beach with one of the cousins, while another

sister and the rest of her family went shopping and the other sister's family

went to Gatorland. We met up mid-afternoon and had dinner together.

In point of practical fact, with kids your age, Disney ends up being more like

" meet you in a couple of hours at such and such place " because one child wants

to ride this and the other wants to do that and the lines are long. So I doubt

the cousins will be on top of each other all day long anyway, even if they are

still not getting along very well at that point.

I think you will do fine if you build some air and space into your plans with

your sister's family.

HTH,

Kathy R. in Indiana

p.s. I have a sister that I " just can't talk to " either...re traveling

together, I just told her the above was what our family would be doing, rather

than trying to get her to understand or agree. Now that we've traveled this way

together several times over the past four years, it's become the way we do

things and actually everyone enjoys having some space and flexibility rather

than being on a rigid schedule while on vacation.

----- Original Message -----

Hi Everyone,

So we are now in the first week of being lowered on

his Paxil. He is very increased in his rituals, as expected. I got a

couple of new problems now: School, I ask him each day about his

homework (and his school also has a web site to check what the work

is each day) he always tells me it is done (he did it during free

period at school). So, I put a call into his teacher last week and

asked if he could let me know where stood on homework,tests

etc. I speak to the teacher yesterday and he tells me he is failing

Math,English and Science! Well,#1 I have a 504 for him and these

teachers know he has issues. So I asked why wasen't I contacted? The

teacher was going to check this out with the other teachers. So I am

fuming! We talked to him() very comly and told him he needs to

bring EVERYTHING home from now on and we will be checking it. This

child has always been a A/B student! My second problem: We would

like very much to take a trip over Spring break with my sister and

her family and go to DisneyWorld. is conplainin that he

dosen't want to go with his 10 yr old cousin ( is 12) because

he is a brat and blames everything on him and my sister will only

yell at . I told him we would be there and that wasen't

soemthing he should worry about. Well, last night we had a family

dinner out with them. It was a nightmare. now dosen't like

being touched (a new OCD thing) and his cousin kept touching him and

got very frustrated and started telling his cousin " Your

weird,Your Gay " etc. Now not that I am condoning this type of

behavior but at 12 years old (at least in our area) all the boys use

the world " Gay " for everything. Their is no sexual preference to

it!! SO my nephew goes running to my sister and she says Oh, you

know how senseitive is and you can't call him names. Well, I

said you know is the same way and yet you only see it one

way! So, here we are having a conpletely stressing (and somewhat

embrassing) dinner. My husband looked at me and said I don't want to

go to Florida and be dealing with this all week. I don't know what

to do. You can't really talk to my sister and I know how bad my 15

year old wants to go on the trip. And I don't want to spite her, she

has been through enough this past year with how the family has

changed because of her brother. HELP!!! I am sorry to make this so

long......... Marilyn

[Guest guest]

is it the teacher not doing what she can and putting it off on you.im have some problem with my son teacher.i trying to get things fix and it he this way at home?yazy119 wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to

have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Do you mind if I ask where exactly are you located? yazy119 wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what

works or how to help him he really gets his way because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...

[Guest guest]

I think its the teacher putting it off there a special ed coordinator but she runs 5 schools shes the one that has helped the most because she understands autism, at home he wont hit anyone but he does get bad tantrums he loves his little brother he wont tryto hit him but he has tried to hit his older brother, but timeouts don't work anymore... rebecca burks wrote: is it the teacher not doing what she can and putting it off on you.im have some problem with my son teacher.i trying to get things fix and it he this way at

home?yazy119 <yazy119> wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way

because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time... Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

My son (PDD-Nos) had similar probllems. His teachers give him a sensory break every 1-11/2 hours. They do a deep pressure massage. Also, we purchased two of his favorite types of toys and if he's good he gets to play with them at school. They remind him if he starts acting up that he can only play with them if he follows directions. He has a picture schedule to prepare him for transitions. Our son is also taking methyl-B12 shots that seem to have helped him to be less aggressive and more compliant. Good luck!yazy119 wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be

good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

New Haven, ConnecticutRJ wrote: Do you mind if I ask where exactly are you located? yazy119 <yazy119> wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand

if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...

[Guest guest]

Hi, Have you ever spoke with or know anything about The New Haven Learning Center?yazmin roman wrote: New Haven, ConnecticutRJ wrote: Do you mind if I ask where

exactly are you located? yazy119 <yazy119> wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated, and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way because

we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...

[Guest guest]

Yasmin-- I was born in New Haven,CT! how cool is that?! I live in Illinois now and we have a problem with our son pushing down children who are smaller. I hope you get the answers you are looking for. A lot of the time redirecting helps but if you are able to see what is going on around your son and be able to determine what can be done. Hope this helps! Pamyazmin roman wrote: New Haven, ConnecticutRJ

<rahimab_98> wrote: Do you mind if I ask where exactly are you located? yazy119 <yazy119> wrote: I don't know what else to do, my son is 6 yrs old and its on the spectrum he has pdd-nos. and he is getting out of control with the new law of no child left behind there is almost nothing I can do for him, his school is trying so much but they don't know how to deal with autism they don't understand if they chang any routine he is going to have problems, he is constantly getting suspended for having bad behavior and I don't know if its because of the autism or if he has more problems his therapist and shrink aren't any help either I just don't know what else to do, Hes been aggresive and fights when he's frustrated,

and teachers ask for suggestions but I defenitely don't know what to tell them because I don't know what works or how to help him he really gets his way because we don't know what to do but I want that to change I want to help him I want him to be good and do his work anyone have any suggestions or plans that may help me and his teachers help my son...Thanks A MillionYazminLiving one day at a Time...