Re: It just gets better and better...

[Guest guest]

KD,

You might consider the safe return program from the Alzheimer's

organization. See link:

http://www.alz.org/Services/SafeReturn.asp

It won't keep him from wandering, but if he really does get lost, it

would help you find him.

in Dallas

>

<snip>

>

> I'm at my wits end now. Every time he goes out because his reality

> isn't fitting in with ours, we're going to have to assume that he's

> heading for the highway again to stick out his thumb and will end

up

> God knows where. I've tried being disappointed with him, tried to

> make him realize that everyone was worried about him, but he says

> that if we try to take his freedom, he'll do whatever he has to.

His

> wife can't follow him every time he does this, she's 70 years old

> herself.

<snip>

[Guest guest]

KD,

At one point we had a similar problem with my dad. We tried following

him when he went on his adventures...at the time he got lost each

time he went out. We finally put special child proof locks very high

(over his head) on the doors. He might have been able to get them

open, but because of where they were, he did not look for them. At

least when he started rattling the door knobs and pulling on them, we

were able to come running. Many times, I just went with him...to

where ever his adventure took him. Most times, I was able to distract

him and take him out for coffee...or to a store or someplace that

sounded appealing to him. Occasionally, he just wanted to run

away...so I just followed. When he tired, I was there to bring him

home. He always seemed to want to get away from my mother who was his

primary caretaker....he would tolerate me following him and taking

him places, but not her. Like your dad, when he came home he had his

usual cheery disposition back....and had forgotten why he wanted to

run away.

I hope this helps some.

Hugs,

Lynn

>

> Hi all:

>

> Well, just to put the cherry on my depression sundae, Dad pulled

> quite a stunt yesterday.

>

> I think I've mentioned how he frequently wants to leave - sometimes

> he wants to go to work, go find a job, whatever. He'll usually go

> walk around the neighbourhood for 20 minutes or so, or go visit

with

> the superintendant of the apartment building, and often he's back

to

> his old self when he comes back.

>

> So yesterday, he went out around 3:30 or so, to 'go find a job.'

His

> wife can't stop him from going out when he's like this, he'll go

> regardless of what she thinks. So by 4:30 she was getting worried,

we

> went looking for him around 5. By 6:30 we called the police. By

8:00,

> we got a call from his niece, asking his wife if she knew that he

was

> there. " There " was a town about an hour away, where he has a sister

> and several adult nieces and nephews.

>

> How did he get there? The son of a bitch HITCH HIKED on the

highway!

> Found someone who knew him (someone we've never heard of), and

either

> this someone or another person drove him to his nephew's house an

> hour away.

>

> Today he has a caregiver in (they come twice a week), and he's been

> bragging to her about his little adventure, how much fun he had,

and

> saying he's going to do it again.

>

> I'm at my wits end now. Every time he goes out because his reality

> isn't fitting in with ours, we're going to have to assume that he's

> heading for the highway again to stick out his thumb and will end

up

> God knows where. I've tried being disappointed with him, tried to

> make him realize that everyone was worried about him, but he says

> that if we try to take his freedom, he'll do whatever he has to.

His

> wife can't follow him every time he does this, she's 70 years old

> herself.

>

> A nursing home is obviously where he's going, but we're probably

> going to have to wait months before that can happen. I just don't

> know what to do with him anymore.

>

> KD

[Guest guest]

KD:

What a difficult situation for you all - most of all for your dad!

I can only reaffirm 's advice. When my dad was more mobile and

more confused, we were quite worried about him pulling similar

stunts. The " Alzheimer's Association " really came through for us.

We registered his name and photo with him and they put a bracelet on

him with his name and address. That at least guaranteed us peace of

mind insofar as his getting lost. They also provided us with

valuable info. as to how to " streetproof " my dad and " safeguard " our

home.

I suggest giving them a call.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. This is all so terrifying -

it's nice to know you can share your depression sundae with us all.

~Abby

[Guest guest]

They also offer a caregiver bracelet with the patients # on it with the

safe return program, which I had so that if something happen to me, Mom

had an emergency person who could be contacted. And she wore the

bracelet because I wore one just like hers.

Donna R

Do you want to read more about Lewy Body? You can also read the

Thistle, the LBD Newsletter. Just click on:

http://www.lbda.org

[Guest guest]

I got a lock at Home Depot that is really neat. It is so easy to put

together and Mom could not unlock it no matter what she did. It does

not look like a lock and it did cost $20. but it is in 2 parts. And

one part just slides over the other part. It is a process that they

have to have some pretty good thinking skills to unlock. You have to

push it in the opposite direction than the one that unlocks it. My

daughter used it on her door and she still has it up.. It is high but

even the kids would have a time unlocking it. And it looks like 2 metal

strips that fit together.

Donna R

Do you want to read more about Lewy Body? You can also read the

Thistle, the LBD Newsletter. Just click on:

http://www.lbda.org

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everyone for their replies...it really does help to know

that I'm not alone in this, there are so many of you who understand.

I don't think locking him in is the answer - I think he would just

fly into a rage over it. He's still a very strong man, and I think

that if he felt the need to, he could break the door down.

We do have a 'dog tag' sort of thing on him, with his home phone

number and the drugs he's allergic to. But I'm thinking that the

Alzheimer's 'Safe Home' bracelet might be a good thing, that way if

we have to call in police, they already know about him, his picture,

etc.

We have increased his Seroquel - he was taking just two 25 mg tablet

at night before bed, now he's getting one in the morning and one in

the afternoon too. He's probably going to be a bit loopy until he

adjusts to that, but hey, as long as he's not hitch hiking on the

highway, I guess that means he's doing well right?

Thanks all,

KD

>

> Hi all:

>

> Well, just to put the cherry on my depression sundae, Dad pulled

> quite a stunt yesterday.

>

> I think I've mentioned how he frequently wants to leave - sometimes

> he wants to go to work, go find a job, whatever. He'll usually go

> walk around the neighbourhood for 20 minutes or so, or go visit

with

> the superintendant of the apartment building, and often he's back

to

> his old self when he comes back.

>

> So yesterday, he went out around 3:30 or so, to 'go find a job.'

His

> wife can't stop him from going out when he's like this, he'll go

> regardless of what she thinks. So by 4:30 she was getting worried,

we

> went looking for him around 5. By 6:30 we called the police. By

8:00,

> we got a call from his niece, asking his wife if she knew that he

was

> there. " There " was a town about an hour away, where he has a sister

> and several adult nieces and nephews.

>

> How did he get there? The son of a bitch HITCH HIKED on the

highway!

> Found someone who knew him (someone we've never heard of), and

either

> this someone or another person drove him to his nephew's house an

> hour away.

>

> Today he has a caregiver in (they come twice a week), and he's been

> bragging to her about his little adventure, how much fun he had,

and

> saying he's going to do it again.

>

> I'm at my wits end now. Every time he goes out because his reality

> isn't fitting in with ours, we're going to have to assume that he's

> heading for the highway again to stick out his thumb and will end

up

> God knows where. I've tried being disappointed with him, tried to

> make him realize that everyone was worried about him, but he says

> that if we try to take his freedom, he'll do whatever he has to.

His

> wife can't follow him every time he does this, she's 70 years old

> herself.

>

> A nursing home is obviously where he's going, but we're probably

> going to have to wait months before that can happen. I just don't

> know what to do with him anymore.

>

> KD

[Guest guest]

>

He's probably going to be a bit loopy until he

> adjusts to that, but hey, as long as he's not hitch hiking on the

> highway, I guess that means he's doing well right?

>

>

> KD

That's right KD...perspective is everything.

It's amazing what we start to feel grateful for isn't it?

Hang in there. I know it's tough but we're all here for you.

~abby