Debbie S., thanks everyone

[Guest guest]

Wow, thanks for the warm welcome. I apologize if I don't reply to everyone's

questions and comments, but I'll do my best.

, I'm in Pt. Pleasant NJ.

I had my son tested for the strep virus but his count was really low,

so that's not a contributor. My son started this summer with an overnight

fear that we were going to leave him. If I left the room, he'd scream for me

and get very upset. It was a very difficult summer. That seemed to subside

by the fall but he still requires me in bed with him every night until he

falls asleep. All his other symptoms surfaced after he had an accident in

his pants in school. (very minor one.) Now he is deathly afraid of having

another one, and constantly imagines he's pooped in his pants. This is his

checking ritual. The poop checking has calmed down a lot though since it

started in. Thanksgiving. Then it moved into germs. He constantly asks

for reassurance about things he's touched.

Getting him to go to school was horrible after the holidays. We put up a

chart and gave him a star for each day he went to school without tears. At

the end of the week, he got to pick out a computer game. It got us through

the week.

, the pediatric neurologist was who our pediatrician recommended we see

for evaluation. I realize this person may not know much about OCD and my

husband and I have already talked about finding someone who specializes in

OCD.

, I'm reading Tamar Chansky's book right now and already have

implemented some of the tips which really seem to be helping. I have stopped

giving the reassurance that my son asks for constantly, and already its

diminished quite a bit.

and Ellen, thank you so much for the book suggestions. I have been

searching high and low for some books for my son.

Here's a question for the group, how do you deal with the family members who

want to say " Oh, it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it. " I feel like the

barer of bad news all the time, because I believe he has OCD and everyone

elso wants to live in denial. I know that is the worst thing you can do with

an OCD child and yet, I almost feel like the bad guy.

Thank you again for all the great input.

Debbie S.

[Guest guest]

Hi again Debbie.

Regarding people saying it's a phase - my first thought was " time

will tell " and won't THEY be the ones surprised! With me, I'd

probably just reply " I hope so " or something and let it drop. If

your son was to have OCD continue to disrupt his life for a while,

then those family members will just have to be educated about OCD,

which hopefully they would want to.

We live with my mom and I've never tried to explain it to her. She's

80 yrs old now and what she says is what SHE says.... She just never

understood when he was going thru meltdowns or behaviors,

etc. She realized back when he was pretty daily having loooonnnng

compulsions/behaviors, that something was wrong. But she just never

understood OCD. Now she will buy and sit and read health books and

health magazines and vitamin books/magazines ALL DAY, EVERY DAY but

would not buy a book to read about OCD. So I figure it's her loss.

Actually, your son has a good chance to conquer his OCD and have it

get so mild that you & no one will notice it, even have it....well, I

hate to say go away but maybe be " symptom free. " has been so

mild this past year that I asked at one point " do you still have

OCD?? " and he said, " yes " it was still there. I just hadn't seen

anything at all and wondered were all those " feelings " gone. I

actually can't see " conquering " anything, so with him I think

of it as a miracle! hey, maybe it was a phase! it just lasted

1.5 years!

Gotta go!

> Wow, thanks for the warm welcome. I apologize if I don't reply to

everyone's

> questions and comments, but I'll do my best.

>

> , I'm in Pt. Pleasant NJ.

>

> I had my son tested for the strep virus but his count was

really low,

> so that's not a contributor. My son started this summer with an

overnight

> fear that we were going to leave him. If I left the room, he'd

scream for me

> and get very upset. It was a very difficult summer. That seemed

to subside

> by the fall but he still requires me in bed with him every night

until he

> falls asleep. All his other symptoms surfaced after he had an

accident in

> his pants in school. (very minor one.) Now he is deathly afraid of

having

> another one, and constantly imagines he's pooped in his pants.

This is his

> checking ritual. The poop checking has calmed down a lot though

since it

> started in. Thanksgiving. Then it moved into germs. He

constantly asks

> for reassurance about things he's touched.

>

> Getting him to go to school was horrible after the holidays. We

put up a

> chart and gave him a star for each day he went to school without

tears. At

> the end of the week, he got to pick out a computer game. It got us

through

> the week.

>

> , the pediatric neurologist was who our pediatrician

recommended we see

> for evaluation. I realize this person may not know much about OCD

and my

> husband and I have already talked about finding someone who

specializes in

> OCD.

>

> , I'm reading Tamar Chansky's book right now and already have

> implemented some of the tips which really seem to be helping. I

have stopped

> giving the reassurance that my son asks for constantly, and already

its

> diminished quite a bit.

>

> and Ellen, thank you so much for the book suggestions. I

have been

> searching high and low for some books for my son.

>

> Here's a question for the group, how do you deal with the family

members who

> want to say " Oh, it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it. " I feel

like the

> barer of bad news all the time, because I believe he has OCD and

everyone

> elso wants to live in denial. I know that is the worst thing you

can do with

> an OCD child and yet, I almost feel like the bad guy.

>

> Thank you again for all the great input.

>

> Debbie S.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie, you wrote:

----- Original Message -----

From: drsriv@...

>Here's a question for the group, how do you deal with the family members who

want to say " Oh, it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it. " I feel like the

barer of bad news all the time, because I believe he has OCD and everyone

elso wants to live in denial. I know that is the worst thing you can do with

an OCD child and yet, I almost feel like the bad guy.

This is such a common experience, and it's cruel too because of course at some

level I'm sure you want to believe they are right. But I believe most who say

this are trying to give you hope that the dx is wrong, they are trying to ease

your worry.

Dr. Swedo wrote a book with just that title " Is it Just a Phase? " which

discusses normal childhood behavior and when it crosses the line into a

diagnosable disorder. I haven't seen it discussed here, but's a good book and I

showed my relatives the pertinent chapter which talks about " normal " obsessive

and compulsive behavior vs. the disorder.

If you've given them information, in the end that's all you can do. Over time

when I've been asked why Kel was doing this or not doing that, if OCD was

involved I'd say so. Otherwise I just had to let them go and realize that

(though it would be helpful/nice/supportive) I didn't need their agreement with

the dx in order to provide my daughter the proper treatments. I was absolutely

not willing to let my daughter suffer needlessly because extended family thought

she seemed fine, just quirky or going through a phase.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

Hello Debbie,

I did not have that problem in my family seeing that they were already

familuar with it from my father and me. But OCD is a new subject in this

house with being diagnosed at a young age. We were adults when ours

happened. So I did hear he is going through a phase and I did hear people

say that he is wanting attention, but I went out and bought a book called

Brain Lock and offered it to people that said that and then said you spend

one day with my son when he is on his bad day then tell me if you think its

a phase? I dont mean to sound cruel in my explanation just some people need

to walk a mile in yours and your childs shoes before they open their mouths!

Hope this helps!

In OH mom of Josh

-- Re: Debbie S., thanks everyone

Hi Debbie, you wrote:

----- Original Message -----

From: drsriv@...

>Here's a question for the group, how do you deal with the family members

who

want to say " Oh, it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it. " I feel like the

barer of bad news all the time, because I believe he has OCD and everyone

elso wants to live in denial. I know that is the worst thing you can do

with

an OCD child and yet, I almost feel like the bad guy.

This is such a common experience, and it's cruel too because of course at

some level I'm sure you want to believe they are right. But I believe most

who say this are trying to give you hope that the dx is wrong, they are

trying to ease your worry.

Dr. Swedo wrote a book with just that title " Is it Just a Phase? "

which discusses normal childhood behavior and when it crosses the line into

a diagnosable disorder. I haven't seen it discussed here, but's a good book

and I showed my relatives the pertinent chapter which talks about " normal "

obsessive and compulsive behavior vs. the disorder.

If you've given them information, in the end that's all you can do. Over

time when I've been asked why Kel was doing this or not doing that, if OCD

was involved I'd say so. Otherwise I just had to let them go and realize

that (though it would be helpful/nice/supportive) I didn't need their

agreement with the dx in order to provide my daughter the proper treatments.

I was absolutely not willing to let my daughter suffer needlessly because

extended family thought she seemed fine, just quirky or going through a

phase.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana