Obsessions and black/white thinking

October 10, 2011

Hi everyone,

My 7 yo ASD son has always gotten stuck on things, where he obsesses about them

and can do/think about little else. Our current obsession is playing our new

Wii. He particularly likes the Lego Star Wars game. He's lost interest in

everything else--even in decorating for Halloween, which is (was?) always his

favorite holiday. When he's not playing he just wants to get back to it--when

we're taking a walk or visiting friends, he just wants to talk about the game

and/or ask when we'll be going back home.

Some of the time he's really enjoying himself and is so excited by the game and

his mastery of it, but often he gets so frustrated that he melts down into a

tantrum or intense anger. We are unschoolers and try to let ds make his own

choices and set his own limits, but I'm finding that it's not working very well

with an ASD child who has very little patience or impulse control and tends to

think only in black and white terms. For example, he'll play until he gets a

headache or stomach ache.

When I suggest that ds take a break or get some distance from the game, he says

we should just sell it--if he can't play as much as he wants, then he doesn't

want to play at all.

I really don't know what to do--take it away all together, set some strict

limits, or just let him work it out. On the one hand, he needs to learn how to

moderate his behavior and find the " gray area " in situations, and by taking away

the games I don't give him a chance to do that. But in the past when I've tried

to limit other obsessions, he just pushes *constantly* to get more--if anything,

it creates a bigger obsession. Which is exactly what many unschoolers would

say-- he needs to be in control his own choices, and if I set limits it'll make

his desire for it even greater.

I want ds to be happy and healthy, and I'm just not sure the video games are

contributing to this. How do you teach a child to find moderation in life when

it doesn't come naturally?

What have others of you done in situations like this?

Thanks,

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