what to tell my daughter

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I haven't been here in a while, life's like that. I have a 15 ds who was

diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when he was 10. He was pretty verbally

sophisticated and analytical at the time and handled this diagnosis with calm

interest and has always felt good about himself and doesn't think Aspergers is a

bad thing to have. He has communicated his diagnosis to his peers through

school assignments and conversation. He has been bullied, but it seems based on

his quirks and behaviour rather than his label.

My 10 year old daughhter was just diagnosed with Asperger syndorme as well. We

haven't told her. She, on the other hand, has major self-esteem issues,

depression, and is very emotional. Her psychologist has advised that we don't

tell her about her diagnosis for two reasons. One, she is the type that she

feels compelled to tell everyone (even strangers) all her news/life story and

she thinks telling her peers will just set her up for more bullying (she has

been bullied a lot in school because of her quirks/emotionality). Also, she

thinks my daughter will use it as an excuse to not try/do things " I can't do

that because I have Asperger syndrome.

I don't disagree with either of these reasons but I wonder if knowing she

doesn't fit in because she has a different brain will help her rather than hurt

her (it's not her fault, or because she isn't good enough, which is what she

believes now). Maybe knowing she has Asperger Syndrome will help her understand

how other treat her and how her behaviour affects others. I guess it is a fine

line and could go either way but seeing how knowing seemed to reinforce my sons

confidence in himself makes me wonder. I would love to hear any of your

experiences with this. Thanks a lot,