Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hi , I have been there , and find myself doing what you did last night on more than one occasion. It's not your fault! You are under a tremendous amount of stress! You are only human! We have a full plate to deal with. You are doing the best you can! Hang in there! Hugs Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 , I am so sorry about your night. Please try not to beat yourself up. You are no alone in making this same mistake. I went off on my OCD son last night even when I was telling myself to control myself, I lost it...yelling, crying, spanking out of anger, the whole bit. You are not alone. Today is another day to start over again. Donna Henry Tastefully Simple Independent Consultant Gourmet food and gifts www.tastefullysimple.com/web/dhenry GourmetOnTheGo1@... Terrible Night I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. It seems like a long time since I last raged at my family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in my absence. I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. DS took some of his own money, left the house in the dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted in our home. I told him otherwise. Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he grew tired and calm enough to sleep. I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. I know I need to go back to my therapist for help--been letting that go for a long time--and get myself under control. I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we have separately and together. Nobody else in the family gets it. I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could imagine him not going down with me, but that is an impossible concept. Anybody relating? ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools. search.yahoo. com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 : You are not alone. Hang in there and please try not to be too hard on yourself. It's very easy to get frustrated/angry etc. when you feel you are giving 100+% of yourself to try to help your child and your child doesn't appear to be trying to help himself. You are only human. Take a deep breath, forget about what happened and move forward. Don't feel guilty - believe me, that's one of my problems and it just weighs you down and doesn't allow you to take care of yourself and your son. Hugs, momof3 wrote: I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. It seems like a long time since I last raged at my family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in my absence. I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. DS took some of his own money, left the house in the dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted in our home. I told him otherwise. Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he grew tired and calm enough to sleep. I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. I know I need to go back to my therapist for help--been letting that go for a long time--and get myself under control. I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we have separately and together. Nobody else in the family gets it. I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could imagine him not going down with me, but that is an impossible concept. Anybody relating? __________________________________________________________ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping --------------------------------- Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Oh boy, . Whenever I ask Josh to fend for himself, it rarely works. I keep hoping as he gets older it will get better, but not yet. Yesterday, I was out working in our orchard, doing some fertile mulching. I had asked him to make himself some lunch. The food was in the refrigerator, easy as can be. But he didn't do it. Then, who pays? He does, because any little burp in his life upsets his OCD, but I do too, because if his OCD flares, it drags you down with it. Its a " Dad who? " situation here a lot too. Dad, (also OCD), is about as helpless as Josh. I don't know how you can't be intermeshed with these kids. Their anxiety disorder makes them so needy that you are constantly switching back and forth from their parent to their nurse/maid/servant/friend/therapist/cook/adviser/everything. I find when I get time away from him, it's a mixture of feelings. On one hand it's a relief just to have a moment to myself, but on the other hand, I'm so emotionally attached that I can't turn it off even when he's not around. Then, I worry, worry, worry. . " What if's " come up, and I'm not there to rescue him. <sigh> Nothing easy about a kid with OCD. BJ > > > I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the > exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. > It seems like a long time since I last raged at my > family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. > But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, > dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to > whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into > my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in > my absence. > I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend > for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad > who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. > DS took some of his own money, left the house in the > dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop > for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way > home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go > sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted > in our home. I told him otherwise. > Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he > grew tired and calm enough to sleep. > I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock > syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. > I know I need to go back to my therapist for > help--been letting that go for a long time--and get > myself under control. > I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are > inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we > have separately and together. Nobody else in the > family gets it. > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > impossible concept. > > Anybody relating? > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Thanks, Donna. Tonight is going better already. I made something like a " real dinner " even though they were just leftovers. Then I promptly got the kids to sit down for homework hour at 6 p.m. I hang around to help them, help them get distracted, whatever. It's great to have that together time which we were lacking. OCD son, however, is up in his room reading. But that's what he should be doing anyway. He needs to be alone whenever he does homework. Thanks again for your encouragement and understanding. Terrible Night I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. It seems like a long time since I last raged at my family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in my absence. I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. DS took some of his own money, left the house in the dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted in our home. I told him otherwise. Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he grew tired and calm enough to sleep. I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. I know I need to go back to my therapist for help--been letting that go for a long time--and get myself under control. I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we have separately and together. Nobody else in the family gets it. I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could imagine him not going down with me, but that is an impossible concept. Anybody relating? ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools. search.yahoo. com/newsearch/ category. php?category= shopping ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 , I am where you were last night right now. When did it get so hard? I tell my dd time and again that I want to help her, not hurt her, but sometimes the OCD is so huge that I can't contain my anger towards it and so I take it out on her instead. And as for helping herself, that I can relate to also. To me, it often looks like she would rather just give in and not try, and then I feel as if I can't do anything either, and I should just give up! Just try to start each day with a fresh outlook, and hope that this will be a better day than the last. Hang in there, we can all relate! Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 , I am where you were last night right now. When did it get so hard? I tell my dd time and again that I want to help her, not hurt her, but sometimes the OCD is so huge that I can't contain my anger towards it and so I take it out on her instead. And as for helping herself, that I can relate to also. To me, it often looks like she would rather just give in and not try, and then I feel as if I can't do anything either, and I should just give up! Just try to start each day with a fresh outlook, and hope that this will be a better day than the last. Hang in there, we can all relate! Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Frustration? Anger? NO WAY - we moms of children with OCD are under NO STRESS, what possible excuse could we have to lose it now and then?? I, personally am the model of restraint and calm. - Please!! Your first sentence is on the money. We are not the Stepford wives, we are real people with boiling points of our own. Stop beating yourself up, have a glass of shiraz and a nice hot bath. You are not alone. Joyce in Seattle By the way - what's wrong with ice cream for dinner?? If you put nuts, fruit and cookies in it you have 4 out of 4 food groups covered!! -------------- Original message ---------------------- > > I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the > exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. > It seems like a long time since I last raged at my > family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. > But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, > dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to > whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into > my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in > my absence. > I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend > for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad > who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. > DS took some of his own money, left the house in the > dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop > for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way > home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go > sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted > in our home. I told him otherwise. > Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he > grew tired and calm enough to sleep. > I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock > syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. > I know I need to go back to my therapist for > help--been letting that go for a long time--and get > myself under control. > I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are > inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we > have separately and together. Nobody else in the > family gets it. > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > impossible concept. > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________ > ____ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at: > http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar > Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D. > (http://massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html ),Aureen Pinto Wagner, > Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Chris > Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. Subscription issues or > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list administrator, at > louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Frustration? Anger? NO WAY - we moms of children with OCD are under NO STRESS, what possible excuse could we have to lose it now and then?? I, personally am the model of restraint and calm. - Please!! Your first sentence is on the money. We are not the Stepford wives, we are real people with boiling points of our own. Stop beating yourself up, have a glass of shiraz and a nice hot bath. You are not alone. Joyce in Seattle By the way - what's wrong with ice cream for dinner?? If you put nuts, fruit and cookies in it you have 4 out of 4 food groups covered!! -------------- Original message ---------------------- > > I know you've all been there. Well, maybe not for the > exact reasons, but today I feel like a terrible mom. > It seems like a long time since I last raged at my > family. I was raised by what I call a rage-a-holic. > But last night I was still fighting a terrible cold, > dragging myself home from the grocery and returned to > whining, fighting and complaining. I really laid into > my OCD son who acts helpless to get himself a meal in > my absence. > I made a mistake by not asking him in advance to fend > for himself or ask his dad for help -- Dad? Dad > who?--but there you have it. It got really ugly. > DS took some of his own money, left the house in the > dark and walked a mile to the nearest ice cream shop > for his " dinner " . My husband found him on his way > home. We had a long, emotional talk. He wanted to go > sleep somewhere else as he didn't feel he was wanted > in our home. I told him otherwise. > Anyway, I stayed with him in front of the TV until he > grew tired and calm enough to sleep. > I still feel like we're having Post traumatic shock > syndrome and I guess that's pretty accurate. > I know I need to go back to my therapist for > help--been letting that go for a long time--and get > myself under control. > I just feel so crappy and that my son and I are > inextricably enmeshed in this sickness that I/he/we > have separately and together. Nobody else in the > family gets it. > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > impossible concept. > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________ > ____ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > Our list archives,links, and files features may be accessed at: > http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar > Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D. > (http://massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html ),Aureen Pinto Wagner, > Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Chris > Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. Subscription issues or > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list administrator, at > louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Joyce, Theresa, Thanks so much. We should all have a day that is better than yesterday. Re: Terrible Night , I am where you were last night right now. When did it get so hard? I tell my dd time and again that I want to help her, not hurt her, but sometimes the OCD is so huge that I can't contain my anger towards it and so I take it out on her instead. And as for helping herself, that I can relate to also. To me, it often looks like she would rather just give in and not try, and then I feel as if I can't do anything either, and I should just give up! Just try to start each day with a fresh outlook, and hope that this will be a better day than the last. Hang in there, we can all relate! Theresa <!-- #ygrp-mkp{ border:1px solid #d8d8d8;font-family:Arial;margin:14px 0px;padding:0px 14px;} #ygrp-mkp hr{ border:1px solid #d8d8d8;} #ygrp-mkp #hd{ color:#628c2a;font-size:85%;font-weight:bold;line-height:122%;margin:10px 0px;} #ygrp-mkp #ads{ margin-bottom:10px;} #ygrp-mkp .ad{ padding:0 0;} #ygrp-mkp .ad a{ color:#0000ff;text-decoration:none;} --> <!-- #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc{ font-family:Arial;} #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc #hd{ margin:10px 0px;font-weight:bold;font-size:78%;line-height:122%;} #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc .ad{ margin-bottom:10px;padding:0 0;} --> <!-- #ygrp-mlmsg {font-size:13px;font-family:arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;} #ygrp-mlmsg table {font-size:inherit;font:100%;} #ygrp-mlmsg select, input, textarea {font:99% arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;} #ygrp-mlmsg pre, code {font:115% monospace;} #ygrp-mlmsg * {line-height:1.22em;} #ygrp-text{ font-family:Georgia; } #ygrp-text p{ margin:0 0 1em 0;} #ygrp-tpmsgs{ font-family:Arial; clear:both;} #ygrp-vitnav{ padding-top:10px;font-family:Verdana;font-size:77%;margin:0;} #ygrp-vitnav a{ padding:0 1px;} #ygrp-actbar{ clear:both;margin:25px 0;white-space:nowrap;color:#666;text-align:right;} #ygrp-actbar .left{ float:left;white-space:nowrap;} ..bld{font-weight:bold;} #ygrp-grft{ font-family:Verdana;font-size:77%;padding:15px 0;} #ygrp-ft{ font-family:verdana;font-size:77%;border-top:1px solid #666; padding:5px 0; } #ygrp-mlmsg #logo{ padding-bottom:10px;} #ygrp-vital{ background-color:#e0ecee;margin-bottom:20px;padding:2px 0 8px 8px;} #ygrp-vital #vithd{ font-size:77%;font-family:Verdana;font-weight:bold;color:#333;text-transform:upp\ ercase;} #ygrp-vital ul{ padding:0;margin:2px 0;} #ygrp-vital ul li{ list-style-type:none;clear:both;border:1px solid #e0ecee; } #ygrp-vital ul li .ct{ font-weight:bold;color:#ff7900;float:right;width:2em;text-align:right;padding-ri\ ght:.5em;} #ygrp-vital ul li .cat{ font-weight:bold;} #ygrp-vital a{ text-decoration:none;} #ygrp-vital a:hover{ text-decoration:underline;} #ygrp-sponsor #hd{ color:#999;font-size:77%;} #ygrp-sponsor #ov{ padding:6px 13px;background-color:#e0ecee;margin-bottom:20px;} #ygrp-sponsor #ov ul{ padding:0 0 0 8px;margin:0;} #ygrp-sponsor #ov li{ list-style-type:square;padding:6px 0;font-size:77%;} #ygrp-sponsor #ov li a{ text-decoration:none;font-size:130%;} #ygrp-sponsor #nc{ background-color:#eee;margin-bottom:20px;padding:0 8px;} #ygrp-sponsor .ad{ padding:8px 0;} #ygrp-sponsor .ad #hd1{ font-family:Arial;font-weight:bold;color:#628c2a;font-size:100%;line-height:122%\ ;} #ygrp-sponsor .ad a{ text-decoration:none;} #ygrp-sponsor .ad a:hover{ text-decoration:underline;} #ygrp-sponsor .ad p{ margin:0;} o{font-size:0;} ..MsoNormal{ margin:0 0 0 0;} #ygrp-text tt{ font-size:120%;} blockquote{margin:0 0 0 4px;} ..replbq{margin:4;} --> ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 , Your right, I think we all have been there ourselves. You are definitely not alone. This disorder is extremely frustrating. We all mess up, we all lose patience and our temper. The best thing to do when it happens is pick ourselves back up, apologize, and try not to do it again. Thankfully kids are resilient. They are more forgiving than most adults. To be honest with you, sometimes it is good for our kids to see us make mistakes. As long as we admit we made a mistake and apologize, our kids can learn from that. They see that we aren't perfect and that can help them not feel so bad about the fact that they aren't perfect. And if we admit we made a mistake and apologize, we are setting a good example for them. Hang in there and don't forget to take care of yourself. A lot of us are so focused on taking care of our kids, we forget to take care of ourselves. Lots of hugs to you . Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 , Your right, I think we all have been there ourselves. You are definitely not alone. This disorder is extremely frustrating. We all mess up, we all lose patience and our temper. The best thing to do when it happens is pick ourselves back up, apologize, and try not to do it again. Thankfully kids are resilient. They are more forgiving than most adults. To be honest with you, sometimes it is good for our kids to see us make mistakes. As long as we admit we made a mistake and apologize, our kids can learn from that. They see that we aren't perfect and that can help them not feel so bad about the fact that they aren't perfect. And if we admit we made a mistake and apologize, we are setting a good example for them. Hang in there and don't forget to take care of yourself. A lot of us are so focused on taking care of our kids, we forget to take care of ourselves. Lots of hugs to you . Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be happy to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of days here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For the moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to fight with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and start swinging again. Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and survive it all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. Things have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, not sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending spin cycle. Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and started to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of sums it all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying and I told him I just want him to get better. Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. Barb > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > impossible concept. > > Anybody relating? > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Oh, Barb. Sorry to hear that you're in this place. I know you will come out of it as I have just a few days since my last low point. Having read all you've been through with your son, I can only imagine how " out of options " you must feel right now. But standing still is an option in itself, isn't it? Maybe it's time to do nothing and regroup. Or time to recite the Serenity prayer to remind yourself that you cannot control your son, and whatever you can control you've already done your best with. It's funny about that song, Across the Universe. I never really listened to the other lyrics, but always thought Lennon meant " Nothing's going to change my world " in a positive sense. Don't know which is right, but hope you'll see it that way tomorrow. BTW, does anyone know what " Kangaroodayathere " means? Or what the heck was he singing? Hang in there, Barb. We're all pulling for you. --- barb wrote: > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > I'd just be happy > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > couple of days > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > hopeless. For the > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > left to fight > with. But I know eventually something in me will > rise up and start > swinging again. > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > cope and survive it > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > I guess. Things > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > options, not > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > unending spin > cycle. > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > Universe, and started > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > Kind of sums it > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > was crying and I > told him I just want him to get better. > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > one. > Barb > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > could > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > impossible concept. > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Okay, never mind. I found the lyrics: Jai guru deva, om, That clears everything up, eh? --- barb wrote: > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > I'd just be happy > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > couple of days > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > hopeless. For the > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > left to fight > with. But I know eventually something in me will > rise up and start > swinging again. > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > cope and survive it > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > I guess. Things > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > options, not > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > unending spin > cycle. > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > Universe, and started > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > Kind of sums it > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > was crying and I > told him I just want him to get better. > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > one. > Barb > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > could > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > impossible concept. > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > > I'd just be happy > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > > couple of days > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > > hopeless. For the > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > > left to fight > > with. But I know eventually something in me will > > rise up and start > > swinging again. > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > > cope and survive it > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > > I guess. Things > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > > options, not > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > > unending spin > > cycle. > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > > Universe, and started > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > > Kind of sums it > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > > was crying and I > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > > one. > > Barb > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > > could > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 (((((((Barb))))))))) Sorry you've had a bad couple of days. Hang in there. It will rebound again. <sigh> It always does. BJ > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be happy > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of days > here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For the > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to fight > with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and start > swinging again. > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and survive it > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. Things > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, not > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending spin > cycle. > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and started > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of sums it > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying and I > told him I just want him to get better. > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. > Barb > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > impossible concept. > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? category=shopping > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 " J'ai(I am) guru (the dispeller of darkness/lead to enlightenment),deva(?) ,Om (the oneness of the universe) " would be my rough translation. Ok, I like all that! I think you are right about the lyric being meant to be positive. I think it hit me because it went to the core of what I believe, it is out of our control, for good or for ill. What will be will be and all that. Feeling powerless to help your child, or that anyone can help, ever, is just too much to accept, but how it feels just now. Ok, so in case it's not clear from my posts, I'm depressed and hormonal, which doesn't diminish truth of our reality, but sure influences my perspective. I usually try to spare others my " mood " , but needed to get it out somewhere. Thanks for the outlet. Barb > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > > I'd just be happy > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > > couple of days > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > > hopeless. For the > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > > left to fight > > with. But I know eventually something in me will > > rise up and start > > swinging again. > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > > cope and survive it > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > > I guess. Things > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > > options, not > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > > unending spin > > cycle. > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > > Universe, and started > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > > Kind of sums it > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > > was crying and I > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > > one. > > Barb > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > > could > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. > http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Thanks BJ. I hope so. Not sure just now. Need to find options beyond the young mens shelter, which is full, and not an appropriate place anyway (they told me this when we called to just ask). This is what our " professionals " have continued to tell us to do. So it was actually good to have someone at the shelter tell us it was not appropriate(which is what I had said myself), and phoned and related that message to the psychologist asking them if they actually had any real solutions for us on this one. You can guess the response. So, nothing new, we know we are on own on this one. Just feel " stuck between a rock and a hard place " ... We took our son to a doctor who practices alternative medicine, who we all liked and thought he might have some possible answers. He suggested doing some blood and urine based tests to rule out possible causes. We're stuck on, can't do urine based tests(absolute), and not willing, at the moment, to do blood test(has done in past). Haven't given this possibility up, just sit with it for now. We are focused on getting our son back on celexa, since we know he is worse since he has gone off it. He took his dose last night and seems improved already, I know this is not likely, probably coincidence, but can hope. Of course he thinks he's found a " new way " to combat the ocd and doesn't need the medication, and doesn't like the idea that maybe it is the medication helping. On this we will stand firm, he has to take the medication or he can't stay here. Only problem is...refer to paragraph one... Easy to take a stand, would be difficult to follow through. I know he is invested in staying here, so we can only hope we hold more power than the ocd on this one. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for responding. Barb > > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be happy > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of days > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For the > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to fight > > with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and start > > swinging again. > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and survive > it > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. Things > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, not > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending spin > > cycle. > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and started > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of sums > it > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying and I > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. > > Barb > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > category=shopping > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Now this one I'd have no clue. Drug influence to be sure... Maybe an Aussie might know though...?! Barb > > > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > > > I'd just be happy > > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > > > couple of days > > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > > > hopeless. For the > > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > > > left to fight > > > with. But I know eventually something in me will > > > rise up and start > > > swinging again. > > > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > > > cope and survive it > > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > > > I guess. Things > > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > > > options, not > > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > > > unending spin > > > cycle. > > > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > > > Universe, and started > > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > > > Kind of sums it > > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > > > was crying and I > > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > > > one. > > > Barb > > > > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > > > could > > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > > ______________ > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Be a better friend, newshound, and > > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Barb, if you are checking with a shelter, I'm assuming things have gotten pretty bad again. Has it become physical again? Had hoped that was medication related and now that he is off, it had stopped. Is he not welcome to go stay with the grandparents again? That seemed to work before. It's so hard when meds make a change, just not necessarily for the better. Almost like pick your problem, yet both seem unacceptable. Will say a prayer for you here. Don't give up. Breath through today. Tomorrow may be better. (trying to be optimistic) Big Hugs, BJ > > > > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be > happy > > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of days > > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For the > > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to > fight > > > with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and > start > > > swinging again. > > > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and > survive > > it > > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. > Things > > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, not > > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending > spin > > > cycle. > > > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and > started > > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of > sums > > it > > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying and > I > > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. > > > Barb > > > > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > > ______________ > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Thanks BJ. Yes things have gotten progressively worse daily. He has started being intimidating and grabbed my arm, broke something and punched the wall, all over two day period. OCD really intensified since off celexa, and then anxiety and anger increased. Here we are. No surprise really, but have to deal. I'm breathing! Thanks again. Barb n , " svdbyhislove " wrote: > > Barb, if you are checking with a shelter, I'm assuming things have > gotten pretty bad again. Has it become physical again? Had hoped > that was medication related and now that he is off, it had stopped. > Is he not welcome to go stay with the grandparents again? That seemed > to work before. > > It's so hard when meds make a change, just not necessarily for the > better. Almost like pick your problem, yet both seem unacceptable. > > Will say a prayer for you here. Don't give up. Breath through today. > Tomorrow may be better. (trying to be optimistic) > > Big Hugs, > BJ > > > > > > > > > > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be > > happy > > > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of days > > > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For the > > > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to > > fight > > > > with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and > > start > > > > swinging again. > > > > > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and > > survive > > > it > > > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. > > Things > > > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, not > > > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending > > spin > > > > cycle. > > > > > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and > > started > > > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of > > sums > > > it > > > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying and > > I > > > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. > > > > Barb > > > > > > > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > > > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > > > ______________ > > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Barb, sorry things aren't going well. Hope the Celexa will help!! How old is your son? Thinking he's under 18? I would think your local mental health's children's services could help you. I know even our small county has group homes for boys/girls, which would go up to age..17? (have to move out at 18 I think...but kids go thru high school I know...) Maybe you can call and ask about residential placements in your area? They would all be a mental health type place, in that kids with some type of " problem " are there, pretty much because they can't live at home anymore (or until better). (of course there's the $cost I guess...but still maybe the local mental health agency could give you options) Just this past year I've begun taking minutes for a local group (during my work hours) of mental health providers and that is the purpose of the group -- to make sure all options/treatments have been tried before placing out of home for youth; and then, if needed, recommending or signing off on out-of-home placement (the latter is the part I'll begin helping with - taking minutes - in April so don't have a lot of details) > > Thanks BJ. I hope so. Not sure just now. > > Need to find options beyond the young mens shelter, which is full, > and not an appropriate place anyway (they told me this when we called > to just ask). This is what our " professionals " have continued to > tell us to do. So it was actually good to have someone at the > shelter tell us it was not appropriate(which is what I had said > myself), and phoned and related that message to the psychologist > asking them if they actually had any real solutions for us on this > one. You can guess the response. So, nothing new, we know we are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Barb, How ironic for my doctor to tell me that I am in menopause. This just 4 weeks after my daughter is diagnosed with OCD/Anxiety/Aspergers, do we need another unstable thought in this house?! barb wrote: " J'ai(I am) guru (the dispeller of darkness/lead to enlightenment),deva(?) ,Om (the oneness of the universe) " would be my rough translation. Ok, I like all that! I think you are right about the lyric being meant to be positive. I think it hit me because it went to the core of what I believe, it is out of our control, for good or for ill. What will be will be and all that. Feeling powerless to help your child, or that anyone can help, ever, is just too much to accept, but how it feels just now. Ok, so in case it's not clear from my posts, I'm depressed and hormonal, which doesn't diminish truth of our reality, but sure influences my perspective. I usually try to spare others my " mood " , but needed to get it out somewhere. Thanks for the outlet. Barb > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes > > I'd just be happy > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad > > couple of days > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and > > hopeless. For the > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing > > left to fight > > with. But I know eventually something in me will > > rise up and start > > swinging again. > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to > > cope and survive it > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at > > I guess. Things > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of > > options, not > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an > > unending spin > > cycle. > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the > > Universe, and started > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . > > Kind of sums it > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I > > was crying and I > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this > > one. > > Barb > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I > > could > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > > ______________ > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ ______________ > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. > http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs > --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 ((((Barb)))), I sincerely hope the Celexa brings it all back under some control, quickly, until you can find a solution. I feel frustrated and sad for you. BJ > > > > > > > > > > I so relate to all of your email! Sometimes I'd just be > > > happy > > > > > to go under and be done with all of it. Had a bad couple of > days > > > > > here as well and am left feeling helpless and hopeless. For > the > > > > > moment I have given up the fight, cuz I have nothing left to > > > fight > > > > > with. But I know eventually something in me will rise up and > > > start > > > > > swinging again. > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes I think the best that can be done is to cope and > > > survive > > > > it > > > > > all. Sorry to sound so negative, just where I'm at I guess. > > > Things > > > > > have gotten pretty bad here again and we feel out of options, > not > > > > > sure what we can do anymore. Feeling like I'm in an unending > > > spin > > > > > cycle. > > > > > > > > > > Was listening to the Beatles song, Across the Universe, and > > > started > > > > > to cry at the line " Nothings gonna change my world " . Kind of > > > sums > > > > it > > > > > all up, for better or worse... My son asked why I was crying > and > > > I > > > > > told him I just want him to get better. > > > > > > > > > > Hugs to you! You're definitely not alone on this one. > > > > > Barb > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I wish that even if I thought I were drowning, I could > > > > > > imagine him not going down with me, but that is an > > > > > > impossible concept. > > > > > > > > > > > > Anybody relating? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > > > > ______________ > > > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > > > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. > > > > > http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php? > > > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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