Guest guest Posted June 1, 2004 Report Share Posted June 1, 2004 Jan Please hang in there and know that you are doing all you can. It is obvious how much you love Jim and how awful it must be to have to deal with the LBD all alone, and to have a caregiver that is causing you problems on top of everything else, is simply terrible. I hope that things get better. I suggest having a discussion with the caregiver and trying to come up with solutions together that he can use when your husband wants him to throw something out. Sometimes they need the support too. We at least have the love we feel for our loved ones to get us through those rough times. For a caregiver, it is a job and it seems that LBD is one of the hardest. Kath Jan > Jan: > > I think it's deplorable that someone an agency would trust enough to > represent it would be so irresponsible. I'm not blaming the agency - > I'm certain they checked his backgroud and his credentials - but I am > suggesting you need to inform the agency about what has been > happening. > > The reason why you opted to hire a paid (stress paid!!) caregiver is > because you need the support and to know that a professional will be > able to use his/her discretion when it comes to what is good for both > Jim and for you. Of course, the care of Jim is foremost in both your > minds, but it does no good whatsoever to allow Jim to reign supreme > when his illness very obviously includes impaired decision making. > The thing is he is not doing anyone any favours nor is he doing his > job by allowing Jim to do as he pleases. Would he allow a child to > dictate? While Jim is not a child, his ability to reason and his > cognition puts him at a disadvantage PLUS you (who is paying him)and > your wishes have to be considered and respected. > > I understand why you don't want to go through the headache of having > to hire another caregiver however if it doesn't get any better after > you speak to the agency (and speak to the agency you must!), you will > need to consider looking for someone who is more willing to exercise > discretion and take his/her job more seriously. > > Allowing Jim to do as he pleases makes his job easier but that does > not translate to a job well done. > > Best of luck with this Jan. Please keep us informed. > > All good things, > > Abby > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Jan Sending you hugs and strength to get you through the pneumonia and any other surprises you might have to deal with with the medications that go with it. Kath Jan > Oh Jan: > > I can only imagine how tired you are. By now, most of your day has > gone by and I pray that today has been more restful for you and for > Jim and that the medication didn't cause any mood alterations. > > Jan, I'd wondered what was up with you. I myself am on a bit of a > hiatus but I always look for your name and pop in regularly even if I > don't post. I'm glad that pre all this pneumonia stuff, you were > doing something fun and cute-producing too. > > Know that we are all thinking of you. > > All good things, > > Abby > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2004 Report Share Posted June 23, 2004 Good morning, Jan! So glad to get the good news about Jim! Thank goodness he is back home safe with you. Thanks for brightening my day! Keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping Jim continues to improve at home. Big hugs, Piper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 Jan- Hey, thanks for letting us know the prayers are working, there is power there. I worked all weekend, in fact haven't had a day off for a while. All is well here, I guess I have felt a little quiet though. Take Care- Sandie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 Dear Jan- What a difference you make in life. Seeing that there are gifts out there, feeliing the emotions as you go through these times, and sharing these stories is all so heartwarming. Thank you for being open to seeing the many gifts we are given in every day life. Godincidences?? Yes, in my book, definitely!! May His work continue to be prominent in your life!! Hugs and much love- Sandie -- Janet Colello wrote: Hi " Sunshine " I have two " Godincidences " as you say, to share with you that were quite exraordinary! The most recent is when Jim had the seizures only a few weeks ago. A lady from where I used to work and I communicate by e-mail, but do not have each others phone numbers. We had set up a date about a month before for me to meet her for lunch after she got off work on a Tuesday or a Thursday when I have a caregiver here, so we set a date that we were both available on by e-mail. Well, Jim went into that horrible seizure that scared me to death and I panicked, so I called the paramedics. As soon as I hung up the phone, it rang and it was my friend from work, Ginny. Her first words were, " Hi, it's Ginny. Are you okay?!!! Well, I wasn't expecting a call from Ginny and thought it was my neighbor, , who can see out her kitchen window when the paramedics come. So I started in about " Are the paramedics out there already? I just hung up the phone, that was fast " and I started explaining about Jim and then I heard the sirens coming and then I was really confused that if the paramedics weren't out there how did know there was a problem. All the time I'm rambling on to Ginny, my friend from work and she is listening and talking to me, but I hear nothing, because my head is in a spin and then she said, " I'm canceling lunch for tomorrow " and it occured to me as to whom I was talking to. Ginny is very much a Christian and spiritually connected. People from work have been calling me and saying Ginny was running down the halls at work asking people if they had my phone number, because she had to call me. When she called the line was busy, because I was talking to the paramedics, but she knew she had to keep on trying. When I hung up from talking to her, she had taken the stress level of the situation I was in way down considerably and I was better able to deal with the situation at hand. I know that God had sent her to talk to me to calm me. She is still scratching her head over this too, because she had a premonition she had to call, but didn't really know why. The next is: In the year 2,000, I brought my two daughters and son-in-law to New York for a fun-filled vacation for a week. , my youngest daughter, was 24 at the time and had broken up with a boyfriend only a few days before our trip. He had tried to call her several times at work, but she wouldn't take his calls and the night before we left he did manage to reach her and asked her to please stop by his place on the way home from work, so they could talk, but she refused thank goodness and said that she still had some packing to do for the trip the following day. We were two days into our vacation and eating dinner at a very nice restaurant when my oldest daughter's cell phone rings and it's their dad. She got up from the table and came back and got me and took me aside. 's boyfriend had commit suicide. We decided not to tell for a few days, so she could have some fun, but we had to tell her in time for her to make a decision as to if she wanted to leave before the trip ended to attend his funeral, so we set a date to tell her and made the best of the vacation up until that time. We, my oldest daughter, son-in-law and and I, went to a musical on Broadway and then to a really nice restaurant for dinner and back to our hotel. Michele and her husband were on a floor above and me and went back to their room and then Michele, my oldest daughter, called and came back down to 's and my room and then Michele called their dad on her cell phone and we gathered around and told her. It was heart wrenching to say the least. But the " Godincidence " is; My daughters, though they believe in Christ are not practicing Christians and I give them Bibles and other Christian gifts at Christmas and Easter to remind them of what it is really all about. Well, went to her suitcase and pulled out a Bible that I had given her and said, " Mom, I don't know why I packed this, because I haven't really opened it since you gave it to me, (I gave it to her about 2-3 years before), but felt I had to pack it. " That evening she was crying on and off, but she opened the Bible and each page that she opened explained about death. Coincidental? I don't think so! She read through the night and it calmed her so much she fell asleep soundly. I see these miracles happen all the time. It is such a blessing. She did end up leaving early to attend the funeral and thank goodness she didn't visit her boyfriend on the way home from work that night, because I think he might have taken her life along with his, another blessing that she had to pack. .................Hugs, Jan --- Sandie wrote: > > > Jan- > > Even though I read you 'have to work on patience' > your post > made me smile as others are noticing your calmness > in dealing > with LBD...you are so right...there is power in > prayer. > So glad you have felt His work in your days. > > Hugs to you Jan- > > Sandie > > -- Janet Colello wrote: > Amen, to there is a reason we were put in this > situation. I truly believe as you two do and have > thought so all along. I do know I have to work on > my > patience, sometimes it wears so thin and I get so > frustrated, but even the lady from my 's > Ministry that I meet with once a week to help me > through my frustrations has noticed more of a > calmness > in me in dealing with this disease. Prayers really > do > help!......Jan > > > > > --- Sandie wrote: > > > > > > Ahhh - > > > > Thank you for reading what I wrote. I am pleased > > that you could > > relate. I do believe this to be true. Every > > circumstance, every > > experience is for a reason...God gives us these > > situations for a reason, beyond anything we know > > here, all for a bigger picture > > than we can see. > > > > In response to things your mom has said lately...I > > remember a > > specific situation with my dad. He was in the > > nursing home he > > had lived at for 2 1/2 yrs and before we had the > > mirror in his room > > taken down he stood at the mirror, held onto the > > vanity with both > > hands...as if to pull the vanity off the wall. > > Veins were protruding > > from his temples, as he yelled.. " why me, why me? " > I > > thought my heart > > had been ripped from my body and thrown down to be > > stomped on. I > > quickly replied to my dad saying, " I don't know > why > > you dad, and I > > don't know why me either - but I do know we are in > > this 'til the > > end' " which is a phrase I coined for the > caregiving > > I had for my > > dad...'til the end.' I wouldn't, couldn't, and > > never did leave > > his side or give his decisions a second thought. > > > > With this said, when my dad passed away, even > though > > it was one > > of the toughest times in my life, I knew I had > done > > my best with > > the knowledge I had, I loved him 'til the end' and > > that I had no > > guilt with his passing. > > > > May everyone here find peace in their caregiving, > > and feel blessed > > as I had been with being selected as the one > person > > in the family > > trusted with this type of journey. > > > > Thinking of you tonight - saying extra > prayers > > for you as well- > > > > Sandie > > -- " janeymar54 " wrote: > > As always, you always find the right words. In > your > > response to Ed, > > you said " God has given you this time for a > reason " . > > This really hit > > home to me. I believe that He has given us this > > time to teach us > > strength, patience and compassion, more than any > of > > us ever believed > > we would have. And also I believe that He has > given > > us this time to > > strengthen our relationship with Him. For those > > words from your > > heart I thank you. > > > > Since Mom's geriatric psychiatrist visit two weeks > > ago, when she > > changed her meds, Mom is much calmer and sleeping > a > > lot more. The Dr. > > increased her Seroquel and Depakote, and is slowly > > discontinuing one > > of the antidepressants. The past few days she has > > had a fever and is > > not going to the bathroom much,when she does she > > usually doesn't make > > it in time. I suspect a UTI. She has an appt with > > her family Dr. > > Monday so I called and had a urinalysis ordered. > I > > will take her to > > get that done Saturday along with a blood test for > > Depakote levels. > > So another thing to deal with, although she has > not > > had a fever today > > and has been able to stay out of bed a lot longer > > today. Hre > > appetite is also worse...not wanting to eat much. > I > > don't know if it > > is from the meds or if she is just getting worse. > > My niece who is a > > nurse said a lot of the psychotic meds have > > short-term side effects > > until they get leveled out in your system, so I > > should wait a couple > > of weeks and see if anything changes. > > > > I have been feeling so overwhelmed, and so sorry > for > > her. It just > > breaks my heart. She said yesterday that I am the > > only one who will > > let her kiss me and the only one who will hug her. > > She said this > > morning " I am so mixed up, I don't know where I am > > or what I am > > doing. " I can't imagine what is going on in her > > mind. She told the > > geriatric psychiatrist that she feels tortured > > because she doesn't > > know what she is doing. It's so sad and I still > > have the feeling > > that I could do more to help her. > > > > I haven't been posting much lately but have been > > reading posts every > > day...you all feel like a lifeline and I know I > > couldn't get through > > many days without your advice, stories, etc. > > > > Again, thank you all for always being there....and > > welcome to the new > > members, you will find much comfort here. > > > > Blessings, > > M > > > > > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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