Re: Intro--long

[Guest guest]

I'm SO sorry to hear that your son has started this terrible hoarding! Is

he seeing a counselor? I would definitely suggest it. In addition, buy

him a copy of " What to do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " (about $10 from

Amazon and you'll have it in two days). That workbook is geared toward

kids 6-12 years old and it really spoke my daughter's language (she is

also 8 but with mild OCD). If he is motivated to get through this then a

counselor and that workbook should help a lot!

Good luck!

Beth

*****************

I'm familiar with how OCD works since I have it myself, but how do you

explain to an 8 year old to try not to follow the impulses and to try to

sidetrack the thoughts, and just the techniques used for an adult??

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm sorry to hear of your condition! It must be so hard for you!

Unfortuantely, you may need to get your son some therapy so he can learn to stop

his ocd behaviors.

I have a 6 yr old son, and an 11 yr old dd with OCD. My son won't let me throw

anything away either.

They will take things out of the garbage. He hoards wrappers and food

containers, etc. He can't let anything go. All of his school work can't be

thrown out either. It is very difficult. I sneak things into the garbage when he

is at school, and i have to immediately bring it out to the outside trash, or

he'll take it out. I have my son on meds, because he is a little to young for

therapy at this time.(His therapist feels this way, I don't) I definitely would

not punish your son. He has ocd, he can't help it his behaviors.

Well, I wanted to welcome you to the group!!

Feel free to share anytime. We are all here to help you!

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

Hello and welcome. You certainly sounds like you have an

awful lot to cope with! Your health issues alone must make it

challenging to get through the day. It sounds like your son has had

a pretty tough go at school and that ocd has been at play for some

time. Hoarding, from what I understand is a very difficult form of

ocd to treat. Since your son has reached this level with the ocd I

would urge you to get him some help.

If you find the right psychologist who can explain to him what is

going on it will be a relief for him to understand he is not a " bad "

person, and he need not be ashamed, that this is an illness.

Sometimes it takes someone other than a parent to explain this. It

may be that your son's ocd is worse than yours is and distraction is

not going to be enough. He may need some medication as well as CBT,

the main treatment for OCD.

Since stress exacerbates ocd it would seem with all you are going

through your son must be stressed by this and really needs some

support, as do you. I really hope you can find a psychologist to

help you with your son. Do take good care of yourself too!

Many Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I'm SO sorry to hear that your son has started this terrible

hoarding! Is

> he seeing a counselor? I would definitely suggest it. In

addition, buy

> him a copy of " What to do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " (about $10

from

> Amazon and you'll have it in two days). That workbook is geared

toward

> kids 6-12 years old and it really spoke my daughter's language (she

is

> also 8 but with mild OCD). If he is motivated to get through this

then a

> counselor and that workbook should help a lot!

>

> Good luck!

> Beth

>

> *****************

> I'm familiar with how OCD works since I have it myself, but how do

you

> explain to an 8 year old to try not to follow the impulses and to

try to

> sidetrack the thoughts, and just the techniques used for an adult??

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, ((())). So very glad you found us and are here.

Our son also deals with hoarding. The therapist insists it is

somewhat in a different category than regular OCD. I don't know if

it's on our son's hierarchy list to be worked on or not. I know our

son has told me that he has a hard time letting things go because, to

him, it feels almost like they are alive and he is killing them by

throwing them away. So, in other words, he has a very strong

emotional attachment to the inanimate objects that he hoards. He's

gotten better over the years, and even has days where he feels he can

let go of some stuff, and comically, he goes on a cleaning frenzy when

he feels that way, knowing he has an opportunity to part with " junk "

then. I'm not sure what the therapy for it is. Does anyone else in

here know? Has anyone been through this with their child and

therapist? I'm curious what the suggested ERP or CBT would be.

I'm so sorry your friends have been so brutal with their responses to

how you should treat your son. I think there are many in here who can

relate to that. OCD is very misunderstood. Those who don't

understand it, often think someone should just snap out of it. I'm

sure people with OCD would, if they could.

I can also relate to trying to raise a son, with OCD, pretty much as a

" single " married person, while struggling with medical problems. My

husband also puts in lots of overtime, out of necessity. Thank God he

is willing to do it, because we need the money and I cannot work, due

to health issues. Yet, over the years, it has often left Josh and I

on our own. I still have ongoing problems from a stroke and damage

that was caused to my heart from taking Imitrex for migraines. I have

other health problems too, including Fibromyalgia, that causes pain

and keeps me from sleeping at times. I'm better than I used to be

when our son was small. But, it was a hard thing to get through,

dealing with my own illnesses and having our child dealing with his. .

.. And nobody for support. One time when our son was 4, he even had to

ride in an ambulance with me on the way to the hospital, with my heart

freaking out. It really scared him. It was such a helpless

situation. And I've always felt bad knowing my health made his

anxiety worse. . . Yet, was helpless to do anything about it. Not

boo-hooing either, but just wanted to share that I can sort of relate

and understand a bit what you are going through. I can tell you, it

got better as our son got older. For one, he became used to me having

health " issues " . He also got older and I suspect felt less vulnerable.

OCD runs in the family here too. . .On my husband's side.

Anyway, I'm very glad you found us. Again, welcome.

BJ

>

> Hello everyone.

>

> My name is , I'm 44, have been married for 18 years, and have

> one beautiful 8 year old son named . My son, just as of last

> Christmas, is now having serious troubles with OCD, specifically,

> hoarding.

>

> I also have OCD, more " O " than " C " these days, and not nearly as bad as

> it used to be. I also come from a long line of family members with

> numerous issues. OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, and Agoraphobia. I

> have dealt with all these issues myself too, and I also have PTSD. I

> had hoped to only pass on the better parts to my son, but OCD is

> presenting now. Most of my issues are under control, so it's not that

> he's learned the behavior, although he may have a little, but I've

> tried to hide it as much as I can, to keep it away from him.

>

> I've been trying to scan through some of the posts, and haven't seen

> much about this particular form/symptom of OCD. So I'm going to ask

> about it. When he was younger, it seemed as if he may have been

> showing signs of OCD, but it was hard to tell if that's what it was, or

> just him being him, a very energetic and busy kid. He's always liked

> to organize things, or I should say re-organize. He has a hard time

> parting with anything also. And he's always liked to collect certain

> things, like all the bows from gifts, stickers off of anything from

> bananas to, I don't know, just anything, but he wasn't obsessed with

> these things.

>

> But since the first day that my husband went back to work after

> Christmas, he began hoarding/stashing garbage. And I mean garbage!

> Fast food containers, plastic sacks, food wrappers, even the styrofoam

> containers that raw meat comes in, and food scraps like orange peels,

> banana skins, etc... I began finding piles of these things under his

> bed, under the couch, in drawers and closets. He can't stand for

> anything to leave the house anymore, or to be destroyed, like kindling

> for the woodstove, and newspaper to start the fire. He hides these

> things too. But once the garbage is taken outside to the trash, it's

> over and he forgets about it.

>

> He didn't have too many problems with anything until he went to

> kindergarten. He is a very quiet, polite, friendly kid, and is a bit

> of a perfectionist. He also has very sensitive hearing like I do, and

> would wander away from the playground at recess cuz he could not handle

> the noise(the school lost him several times). He also came down with a

> nasal staph infection at the beginning of the school year, and even

> though our doc suggested this could be the cause of his illness, he

> didn't test him till the end of the year. By then, he'd been sick so

> much that he'd missed about 50% of the year. By the end of that year,

> he had almost quit speaking, smiling, had become afraid to even try to

> learn, and had no self-confidence. We pulled him from school and I now

> homeschool. Last year was a major struggle to overcome what had

> happened, and is still a bit of an issue, but is better, although he is

> behind a grade now. Anyway...

>

> He and I are on our own most of the time due to the type of job my

> husband has, and he's worked overtime on weekends for several years, so

> and I were used to this. This last year, at Thanksgiving and

> Christmas and New Years, he took the holidays off for the first time in

> a long time. really enjoyed having him home, and got kind of

> used to it. So when Ed had to go back to his regular work schedule,

> began to exhibit some odd behavior. And the hoarding began

> too. Most of the odd behavior is just off and on now, but the

> hoarding, he just cannot control. I've tried everything I can think

> of, but am now at a loss as to what to do.

>

> I've tried to talk to a few friends about this, but they just keep

> trying to tell me he's just being a brat, doing it for attention,

> pushing me to see what he can get away with, so I should punish him

> harshly. I don't buy this. He has a hard time explaining to me why

> he's doing this when we talk about it, and uses phrases like: I cannot

> help myself, I'm so ashamed of myself, I hate myself, I don't know why

> I do this, I'm scared, etc.... And he has no history of being a

> problem child. He's always been a great kid, and I could always trust

> him.

>

> I have medical conditions that I have many docs working on, and have

> been mostly bedridden for about 3+ years, and I'm now going to doc

> appt's practically every day that Ed is home. He has to drive me cuz I

> can no longer drive due to meds. And through all my illness, I've

> always been able to trust to not do things like go outside when

> I was napping, handle knives, play with the appliances, or just

> anything that was dangerous and he was not supposed to do. And he has

> never lied to me. Now he lies to me daily and I cannot trust him

> anymore.

>

> For example: I had to take a short nap a couple days ago, the meds

> were knocking me out, so I let him know. When I woke up and called to

> him to see what he was doing, he came in and told me that I looked

> tired, and that I should get some more rest, and hugged me. This is

> not unusual for him to be caring, but he was really pushing this issue

> more than usual. I then noticed that my garbage can was gone. I had

> him bring it back in, and it was empty. I then made him round up the

> garbage that had been in it. So, he wasn't really concerned about me,

> he just wanted me to go back to sleep so he he wouldn't get busted.

> This is just not like him at all.

>

> I just do not know how to deal with this. I'm familiar with how OCD

> works since I have it myself, but how do you explain to an 8 year old

> to try not to follow the impulses and to try to sidetrack the thoughts,

> and just the techniques used for an adult?? He's a very smart and

> creative kid, but he is a bit behind in certain life experiences that

> most kids his age would have gone through by now due to my illness and

> not being able to take him very many places and meet other kids as much

> as he should have by now, and there are no kids living nearby. He was

> bullied in school cuz he was quiet and polite and would not fight

> back. But he was the one who was reprimanded by the school cuz he

> wouldn't tell on the kids who were doing it, even though they watched

> it and knew who it was. I know this cuz they told me. Ed and I even

> volunteered a few times and we watched it happen too. I'd walk up to

> get him from school, and he'd be all banged up, clothes torn, etc...

> By the end of his school year, they said he needed to be in special ed

> and needed a speech therapist cuz he didn't know how to talk or how to

> speak in sentences. Excuse me! He certainly does to, but he clammed

> up once he felt uncomfortable there and cuz they kept telling him he

> was too slow, he was stupid, they left him out of things and was told

> that he couldn't keep up. If they were working on an art project, but

> time was up and time for a story, he'd try to finish what he was doing

> cuz he feels the need to not leave things unfinished, so they'd just

> move on without him. His teacher said she didn't have time to mess

> with him. Grrrr.....

>

> We are in an umbrella program for our homeschooling, so we have a

> teacher that comes every few weeks for about an hour, and he jabbers

> her head off! lol I told her what they'd said, and she just laughed.

>

> We now almost have a handle on my conditon too, and think it is CPS

> (central pain syndrome). I am going to begin treatments soon for that,

> and just had a sleep study done, and will be seeing a sleep specialist

> for that too. I rarely sleep, so this impairs my ability to function,

> and the pain issue keeps me from being on my feet very often. Some of

> the meds they have been treating me with for several years impair my

> thoughts, speech, and ability to even walk. I sound and look drunk

> quite often. Hopefully that will end soon cuz I feel as if I'm failing

> my child. Sorry. Not boo-hoo'ing here, just trying to give a picture

> of what's going on.

>

> So....That's our story so far. I would welcome and appreciate any

> suggestions. I will take him to a therapist if it becomes necessary,

> but it will be very difficult for him to go through. I know my kid, and

> he will see it as a bad thing, a punishment, or like something is wrong

> with him, and he will clam up again. So I'm trying my best to deal

> with this at home first.

>

> Thank you all for listening(reading :-)) Take care.

>

> Hugs

> Val

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , I have a son who hoarded a bit when young (he's 19 and my

OCD son). And I have a mother, whom we live with, who was a severe

hoarder; she always did a bit too but got bad in her mid-70's I

guess; she's 85 now.

I joined this group WAY back when my son was in 6th grade and his OCD

began. We have had parents in this group who have dealt with

hoarding, just not sure any recent posts have been on the topic (as

you saw).

Your son sounds a bit like my mom. Went through trash too, to take

things out.

I'm sorry he had such a rough time at school! I'm a bit touchy about

bullying since I was such a shy kid and was teased/laughed at but

luckily no physical bullying (just threats). So (((hugs))) to

for having to go through that!

Wish I had more time to reply now. But quickly, some things you can

try with him -

Well, I'm sure you've talked about it. But make up a Plan with him

about it. Find a container, maybe a bit large, for him to put

his " stuff " in (trying to get it out from under the bed, etc.).

You can try having a rule about keeping only what can fit in the box;

when it's full, sometime will have to come out, be thrown away,

before other things go in it. (hmmm...you might need to start with 2

boxes!)

You may after a time be able to find opportunities when he's not

around to throw away some things. Sometimes with , I might

set a limit on how long he could keep something. Now, he never threw

it away but when limit had passed and he wasn't around, I got rid of

it. He never noticed or at least no major meltdown.

Gotta run, this was just some very quick thoughts, will try to write

more later! You've got a lot on your plate right now, take care of

YOU too!

single mom, 3 sons

, 19, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> Hello everyone.

>

> My name is , I'm 44, have been married for 18 years, and

have

> one beautiful 8 year old son named . My son, just as of

last

> Christmas, is now having serious troubles with OCD, specifically,

> hoarding.

[Guest guest]

Omygosh, Val. I'm still freaking about CPS coming to investigate you.

I'm sure once they saw the issues you were dealing with, and what a

great Mom you were, they must have realized their mistake.

Sounds like we have similar lives. You sound feisty. lol That's

awesome! You need some feistiness to push on through some of the

trials of your illnesses and your son's OCD.

One thing our son was dealing with that I think had similar

attachments (like his hoarding), was being unable to throw any food

away, off of his plate. For instance, he would eat everything, even

if he didn't want it, because he couldn't bear to throw a few bites

away. He has gained weight on meds, so didn't need to be eating stuff

he didn't even want. His therapist had him purposely leave a few

bites on his plate, every meal, and he had to throw those away. It

got easier for him. The first time, he literally stood at the garbage

can and groaned out loud. Pretty soon, he was doing it without

pausing. I wonder if that could be applied to hoarding somehow.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. . .Might have to try that to see.

Thank you for sharing, Val. ) So glad you are here.

BJ

> >

> > Hello everyone.

> >

> > My name is , I'm 44, have been married for 18 years, and

have

> > one beautiful 8 year old son named . My son, just as of last

> > Christmas, is now having serious troubles with OCD, specifically,

> > hoarding.

> >

> > I also have OCD, more " O " than " C " these days, and not nearly as

bad as

> > it used to be. I also come from a long line of family members with

> > numerous issues. OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, and

Agoraphobia. I

> > have dealt with all these issues myself too, and I also have

PTSD. I

> > had hoped to only pass on the better parts to my son, but OCD is

> > presenting now. Most of my issues are under control, so it's not

that

> > he's learned the behavior, although he may have a little, but I've

> > tried to hide it as much as I can, to keep it away from him.

> >

> > I've been trying to scan through some of the posts, and haven't

seen

> > much about this particular form/symptom of OCD. So I'm going to ask

> > about it. When he was younger, it seemed as if he may have been

> > showing signs of OCD, but it was hard to tell if that's what it

was, or

> > just him being him, a very energetic and busy kid. He's always

liked

> > to organize things, or I should say re-organize. He has a hard time

> > parting with anything also. And he's always liked to collect

certain

> > things, like all the bows from gifts, stickers off of anything from

> > bananas to, I don't know, just anything, but he wasn't obsessed

with

> > these things.

> >

> > But since the first day that my husband went back to work after

> > Christmas, he began hoarding/stashing garbage. And I mean garbage!

> > Fast food containers, plastic sacks, food wrappers, even the

styrofoam

> > containers that raw meat comes in, and food scraps like orange

peels,

> > banana skins, etc... I began finding piles of these things under

his

> > bed, under the couch, in drawers and closets. He can't stand for

> > anything to leave the house anymore, or to be destroyed, like

kindling

> > for the woodstove, and newspaper to start the fire. He hides these

> > things too. But once the garbage is taken outside to the trash,

it's

> > over and he forgets about it.

> >

> > He didn't have too many problems with anything until he went to

> > kindergarten. He is a very quiet, polite, friendly kid, and is a

bit

> > of a perfectionist. He also has very sensitive hearing like I

do, and

> > would wander away from the playground at recess cuz he could not

handle

> > the noise(the school lost him several times). He also came down

with a

> > nasal staph infection at the beginning of the school year, and even

> > though our doc suggested this could be the cause of his illness, he

> > didn't test him till the end of the year. By then, he'd been

sick so

> > much that he'd missed about 50% of the year. By the end of that

year,

> > he had almost quit speaking, smiling, had become afraid to even

try to

> > learn, and had no self-confidence. We pulled him from school and

I now

> > homeschool. Last year was a major struggle to overcome what had

> > happened, and is still a bit of an issue, but is better,

although he is

> > behind a grade now. Anyway...

> >

> > He and I are on our own most of the time due to the type of job my

> > husband has, and he's worked overtime on weekends for several

years, so

> > and I were used to this. This last year, at Thanksgiving

and

> > Christmas and New Years, he took the holidays off for the first

time in

> > a long time. really enjoyed having him home, and got

kind of

> > used to it. So when Ed had to go back to his regular work schedule,

> > began to exhibit some odd behavior. And the hoarding began

> > too. Most of the odd behavior is just off and on now, but the

> > hoarding, he just cannot control. I've tried everything I can think

> > of, but am now at a loss as to what to do.

> >

> > I've tried to talk to a few friends about this, but they just keep

> > trying to tell me he's just being a brat, doing it for attention,

> > pushing me to see what he can get away with, so I should punish him

> > harshly. I don't buy this. He has a hard time explaining to me why

> > he's doing this when we talk about it, and uses phrases like: I

cannot

> > help myself, I'm so ashamed of myself, I hate myself, I don't

know why

> > I do this, I'm scared, etc.... And he has no history of being a

> > problem child. He's always been a great kid, and I could always

trust

> > him.

> >

> > I have medical conditions that I have many docs working on, and

have

> > been mostly bedridden for about 3+ years, and I'm now going to doc

> > appt's practically every day that Ed is home. He has to drive me

cuz I

> > can no longer drive due to meds. And through all my illness, I've

> > always been able to trust to not do things like go

outside when

> > I was napping, handle knives, play with the appliances, or just

> > anything that was dangerous and he was not supposed to do. And

he has

> > never lied to me. Now he lies to me daily and I cannot trust him

> > anymore.

> >

> > For example: I had to take a short nap a couple days ago, the meds

> > were knocking me out, so I let him know. When I woke up and

called to

> > him to see what he was doing, he came in and told me that I looked

> > tired, and that I should get some more rest, and hugged me. This is

> > not unusual for him to be caring, but he was really pushing this

issue

> > more than usual. I then noticed that my garbage can was gone. I had

> > him bring it back in, and it was empty. I then made him round up

the

> > garbage that had been in it. So, he wasn't really concerned

about me,

> > he just wanted me to go back to sleep so he he wouldn't get busted.

> > This is just not like him at all.

> >

> > I just do not know how to deal with this. I'm familiar with how OCD

> > works since I have it myself, but how do you explain to an 8

year old

> > to try not to follow the impulses and to try to sidetrack the

thoughts,

> > and just the techniques used for an adult?? He's a very smart and

> > creative kid, but he is a bit behind in certain life experiences

that

> > most kids his age would have gone through by now due to my

illness and

> > not being able to take him very many places and meet other kids

as much

> > as he should have by now, and there are no kids living nearby.

He was

> > bullied in school cuz he was quiet and polite and would not fight

> > back. But he was the one who was reprimanded by the school cuz he

> > wouldn't tell on the kids who were doing it, even though they

watched

> > it and knew who it was. I know this cuz they told me. Ed and I even

> > volunteered a few times and we watched it happen too. I'd walk

up to

> > get him from school, and he'd be all banged up, clothes torn,

etc...

> > By the end of his school year, they said he needed to be in

special ed

> > and needed a speech therapist cuz he didn't know how to talk or

how to

> > speak in sentences. Excuse me! He certainly does to, but he clammed

> > up once he felt uncomfortable there and cuz they kept telling

him he

> > was too slow, he was stupid, they left him out of things and was

told

> > that he couldn't keep up. If they were working on an art

project, but

> > time was up and time for a story, he'd try to finish what he was

doing

> > cuz he feels the need to not leave things unfinished, so they'd

just

> > move on without him. His teacher said she didn't have time to mess

> > with him. Grrrr.....

> >

> > We are in an umbrella program for our homeschooling, so we have a

> > teacher that comes every few weeks for about an hour, and he

jabbers

> > her head off! lol I told her what they'd said, and she just laughed.

> >

> > We now almost have a handle on my conditon too, and think it is CPS

> > (central pain syndrome). I am going to begin treatments soon for

that,

> > and just had a sleep study done, and will be seeing a sleep

specialist

> > for that too. I rarely sleep, so this impairs my ability to

function,

> > and the pain issue keeps me from being on my feet very often.

Some of

> > the meds they have been treating me with for several years

impair my

> > thoughts, speech, and ability to even walk. I sound and look drunk

> > quite often. Hopefully that will end soon cuz I feel as if I'm

failing

> > my child. Sorry. Not boo-hoo'ing here, just trying to give a

picture

> > of what's going on.

> >

> > So....That's our story so far. I would welcome and appreciate any

> > suggestions. I will take him to a therapist if it becomes

necessary,

> > but it will be very difficult for him to go through. I know my

kid, and

> > he will see it as a bad thing, a punishment, or like something

is wrong

> > with him, and he will clam up again. So I'm trying my best to deal

> > with this at home first.

> >

> > Thank you all for listening(reading :-)) Take care.

> >

> > Hugs

> > Val

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> > >

> > > Hello everyone.

> > >

> > > My name is , I'm 44, have been married for 18 years, and

> have

> > > one beautiful 8 year old son named . My son, just as of

last

> > > Christmas, is now having serious troubles with OCD, specifically,

> > > hoarding.

> > >

> > > I also have OCD, more " O " than " C " these days, and not nearly as

> bad as

> > > it used to be. I also come from a long line of family members

with

> > > numerous issues. OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, and

> Agoraphobia. I

> > > have dealt with all these issues myself too, and I also have

> PTSD. I

> > > had hoped to only pass on the better parts to my son, but OCD is

> > > presenting now. Most of my issues are under control, so it's not

> that

> > > he's learned the behavior, although he may have a little, but

I've

> > > tried to hide it as much as I can, to keep it away from him.

> > >

> > > I've been trying to scan through some of the posts, and haven't

> seen

> > > much about this particular form/symptom of OCD. So I'm going

to ask

> > > about it. When he was younger, it seemed as if he may have been

> > > showing signs of OCD, but it was hard to tell if that's what it

> was, or

> > > just him being him, a very energetic and busy kid. He's always

> liked

> > > to organize things, or I should say re-organize. He has a hard

time

> > > parting with anything also. And he's always liked to collect

> certain

> > > things, like all the bows from gifts, stickers off of anything

from

> > > bananas to, I don't know, just anything, but he wasn't obsessed

> with

> > > these things.

> > >

> > > But since the first day that my husband went back to work after

> > > Christmas, he began hoarding/stashing garbage. And I mean

garbage!

> > > Fast food containers, plastic sacks, food wrappers, even the

> styrofoam

> > > containers that raw meat comes in, and food scraps like orange

> peels,

> > > banana skins, etc... I began finding piles of these things under

> his

> > > bed, under the couch, in drawers and closets. He can't stand for

> > > anything to leave the house anymore, or to be destroyed, like

> kindling

> > > for the woodstove, and newspaper to start the fire. He hides

these

> > > things too. But once the garbage is taken outside to the trash,

> it's

> > > over and he forgets about it.

> > >

> > > He didn't have too many problems with anything until he went to

> > > kindergarten. He is a very quiet, polite, friendly kid, and is a

> bit

> > > of a perfectionist. He also has very sensitive hearing like I

> do, and

> > > would wander away from the playground at recess cuz he could not

> handle

> > > the noise(the school lost him several times). He also came down

> with a

> > > nasal staph infection at the beginning of the school year, and

even

> > > though our doc suggested this could be the cause of his

illness, he

> > > didn't test him till the end of the year. By then, he'd been

> sick so

> > > much that he'd missed about 50% of the year. By the end of that

> year,

> > > he had almost quit speaking, smiling, had become afraid to even

> try to

> > > learn, and had no self-confidence. We pulled him from school and

> I now

> > > homeschool. Last year was a major struggle to overcome what had

> > > happened, and is still a bit of an issue, but is better,

> although he is

> > > behind a grade now. Anyway...

> > >

> > > He and I are on our own most of the time due to the type of

job my

> > > husband has, and he's worked overtime on weekends for several

> years, so

> > > and I were used to this. This last year, at Thanksgiving

> and

> > > Christmas and New Years, he took the holidays off for the first

> time in

> > > a long time. really enjoyed having him home, and got

> kind of

> > > used to it. So when Ed had to go back to his regular work

schedule,

> > > began to exhibit some odd behavior. And the hoarding

began

> > > too. Most of the odd behavior is just off and on now, but the

> > > hoarding, he just cannot control. I've tried everything I can

think

> > > of, but am now at a loss as to what to do.

> > >

> > > I've tried to talk to a few friends about this, but they just

keep

> > > trying to tell me he's just being a brat, doing it for attention,

> > > pushing me to see what he can get away with, so I should

punish him

> > > harshly. I don't buy this. He has a hard time explaining to me

why

> > > he's doing this when we talk about it, and uses phrases like: I

> cannot

> > > help myself, I'm so ashamed of myself, I hate myself, I don't

> know why

> > > I do this, I'm scared, etc.... And he has no history of being a

> > > problem child. He's always been a great kid, and I could always

> trust

> > > him.

> > >

> > > I have medical conditions that I have many docs working on, and

> have

> > > been mostly bedridden for about 3+ years, and I'm now going to

doc

> > > appt's practically every day that Ed is home. He has to drive me

> cuz I

> > > can no longer drive due to meds. And through all my illness, I've

> > > always been able to trust to not do things like go

> outside when

> > > I was napping, handle knives, play with the appliances, or just

> > > anything that was dangerous and he was not supposed to do. And

> he has

> > > never lied to me. Now he lies to me daily and I cannot trust him

> > > anymore.

> > >

> > > For example: I had to take a short nap a couple days ago, the

meds

> > > were knocking me out, so I let him know. When I woke up and

> called to

> > > him to see what he was doing, he came in and told me that I

looked

> > > tired, and that I should get some more rest, and hugged me.

This is

> > > not unusual for him to be caring, but he was really pushing this

> issue

> > > more than usual. I then noticed that my garbage can was gone.

I had

> > > him bring it back in, and it was empty. I then made him round up

> the

> > > garbage that had been in it. So, he wasn't really concerned

> about me,

> > > he just wanted me to go back to sleep so he he wouldn't get

busted.

> > > This is just not like him at all.

> > >

> > > I just do not know how to deal with this. I'm familiar with

how OCD

> > > works since I have it myself, but how do you explain to an 8

> year old

> > > to try not to follow the impulses and to try to sidetrack the

> thoughts,

> > > and just the techniques used for an adult?? He's a very smart and

> > > creative kid, but he is a bit behind in certain life experiences

> that

> > > most kids his age would have gone through by now due to my

> illness and

> > > not being able to take him very many places and meet other kids

> as much

> > > as he should have by now, and there are no kids living nearby.

> He was

> > > bullied in school cuz he was quiet and polite and would not fight

> > > back. But he was the one who was reprimanded by the school cuz he

> > > wouldn't tell on the kids who were doing it, even though they

> watched

> > > it and knew who it was. I know this cuz they told me. Ed and I

even

> > > volunteered a few times and we watched it happen too. I'd walk

> up to

> > > get him from school, and he'd be all banged up, clothes torn,

> etc...

> > > By the end of his school year, they said he needed to be in

> special ed

> > > and needed a speech therapist cuz he didn't know how to talk or

> how to

> > > speak in sentences. Excuse me! He certainly does to, but he

clammed

> > > up once he felt uncomfortable there and cuz they kept telling

> him he

> > > was too slow, he was stupid, they left him out of things and was

> told

> > > that he couldn't keep up. If they were working on an art

> project, but

> > > time was up and time for a story, he'd try to finish what he was

> doing

> > > cuz he feels the need to not leave things unfinished, so they'd

> just

> > > move on without him. His teacher said she didn't have time to

mess

> > > with him. Grrrr.....

> > >

> > > We are in an umbrella program for our homeschooling, so we have a

> > > teacher that comes every few weeks for about an hour, and he

> jabbers

> > > her head off! lol I told her what they'd said, and she just

laughed.

> > >

> > > We now almost have a handle on my conditon too, and think it

is CPS

> > > (central pain syndrome). I am going to begin treatments soon for

> that,

> > > and just had a sleep study done, and will be seeing a sleep

> specialist

> > > for that too. I rarely sleep, so this impairs my ability to

> function,

> > > and the pain issue keeps me from being on my feet very often.

> Some of

> > > the meds they have been treating me with for several years

> impair my

> > > thoughts, speech, and ability to even walk. I sound and look

drunk

> > > quite often. Hopefully that will end soon cuz I feel as if I'm

> failing

> > > my child. Sorry. Not boo-hoo'ing here, just trying to give a

> picture

> > > of what's going on.

> > >

> > > So....That's our story so far. I would welcome and appreciate any

> > > suggestions. I will take him to a therapist if it becomes

> necessary,

> > > but it will be very difficult for him to go through. I know my

> kid, and

> > > he will see it as a bad thing, a punishment, or like something

> is wrong

> > > with him, and he will clam up again. So I'm trying my best to

deal

> > > with this at home first.

> > >

> > > Thank you all for listening(reading :-)) Take care.

> > >

> > > Hugs

> > > Val

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >