Re: Homeschooling?

[Guest guest]

I do not homeschool, but I feel that many of these " real life rules " are absurd.

Most of the bologna that happens in the schools never happens again once you

leave high school. Homeschooling groups provide many social activities for

kids. In addition, most home school children are quite active in church youth

groups and extracurricular activities. If I were to do it all over, I think I

would homeschool my children. I have just banned all tv from my home during the

week and I cannot believe how much better behaved my children are. The

attitudes are gone and they are much more creative and happy! Porbalby removing

all of those school influences would do the same. Now it is not the teachers or

schools in my case. They are fabulous. We have received so much support I

cannot even tell you ... but I just learned in my son's middle school there is a

big game going on with tally's to see who did what with the opposite sex (if you

get my drift) ... in middle school!

Homeschool kids are not in the middle of all this garbage.

in TN

popo9807 wrote:

Before my daughter was diagnosed with OCD I had really thought hard

about homeschooling her. I guess mainly I just don't have much faith

in our schools here. I just felt like we could get done at home in

less time what takes them all day to do because we could cut out a

lot of the bull they have to do.

Plus my daughter has heard and learned things at school that are just

innapropriate. The kids these days, what can I say.

Now since my daugher has been diagnosed with OCD as well as general

anxiety disorder and seperation anxiety, well the school experience

is even worse. I feel like anytime I try to be helpfull to the school

concerning my daughter that they think I'm just some overprotective

freak. I also feel that my daughter is judged unfairly.

We live in a a small community where people talk..a lot. Plus my

husband is a deputy sheriff so we seem to get even more " talk " . Now I

don't care if people talk about me all day long, but it hurts to

think of my daughter being talked about.

I don't like feeling like we are just making up my daughter's OCD

issues. I guess this isn't just with school but with everywhere.

People don't get it unless they are there all the time. So many

people think the child is just doing things for attention or

something. Plus the way the symptoms can come and go just seems to

make it worse.

So at our evaluation with our daughter's therapist I had mentioned

how even prior to the OCD I had thought about homeschooling her. They

said that wouldn't be a " good idea " . This really bothers me in a way.

Then again I'm sure they want her to go to school so she can learn to

adjust to real life. Of course I want this to. My fear is if I do

homeschool her that she will be too sheltered and will never learn

about the real world's rules.

I don't know how do you all feel about homeschooling?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Okay the stuff you are talking about is EXACTLY why I don't want my

daughter in school. My nieces and nephews come home with stories of

stuff that we might have heard in high school and they are only 7 and

10.

As far as the real world stuff that's how I think about it too in a

way. I know that once you are out of school it's a totally different

world. How many times have I tried to reassure my poor teenage nieces

that none of this school crap will matter in a couple of years. It's

sad really. Maybe if I can homeschool and give them that extra

confidence maybe that would make a huge difference in the " real

world " someday.

But what about what the psychiatrist said? The actual psychologist

that we'll be seeing didn't comment at all I don't think, just the

psychiatrist. He just said with a smile that he didn't think it would

be a good idea.

Maybe I should start looking into it now so if the stuff hits the fan

next year I am prepared? At the start of this year I asked her if

she'd want to homeschool and she said no she wanted to go be with the

kids. Now about two or so weeks ago she was crying her eyes out

begging me to homeschool her. I tried to explain to her that it's not

something you can just all the sudden jump up and do one day, that it

requires much preperation.

Please share more thoughts on this everyone. Do you think the doc was

against it just because of her seperation anxiety? If so surely there

are other ways to get her over that besides school. Actually I think

it just makes it worse.

> Before my daughter was diagnosed with OCD I had really

thought hard

> about homeschooling her. I guess mainly I just don't have much

faith

> in our schools here. I just felt like we could get done at home in

> less time what takes them all day to do because we could cut out a

> lot of the bull they have to do.

>

> Plus my daughter has heard and learned things at school that are

just

> innapropriate. The kids these days, what can I say.

>

> Now since my daugher has been diagnosed with OCD as well as general

> anxiety disorder and seperation anxiety, well the school experience

> is even worse. I feel like anytime I try to be helpfull to the

school

> concerning my daughter that they think I'm just some overprotective

> freak. I also feel that my daughter is judged unfairly.

>

> We live in a a small community where people talk..a lot. Plus my

> husband is a deputy sheriff so we seem to get even more " talk " . Now

I

> don't care if people talk about me all day long, but it hurts to

> think of my daughter being talked about.

>

> I don't like feeling like we are just making up my daughter's OCD

> issues. I guess this isn't just with school but with everywhere.

> People don't get it unless they are there all the time. So many

> people think the child is just doing things for attention or

> something. Plus the way the symptoms can come and go just seems to

> make it worse.

>

> So at our evaluation with our daughter's therapist I had mentioned

> how even prior to the OCD I had thought about homeschooling her.

They

> said that wouldn't be a " good idea " . This really bothers me in a

way.

>

> Then again I'm sure they want her to go to school so she can learn

to

> adjust to real life. Of course I want this to. My fear is if I do

> homeschool her that she will be too sheltered and will never learn

> about the real world's rules.

>

> I don't know how do you all feel about homeschooling?

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

From what I understand, all the psychiatrists say not to homeschool!

Why at the age of 6 is it such a big deal if they have separation anxiety? If

she were 16, I would say, okay, that is a problem. But at age 6? That is still

so little.

My daugher, now age 8, could never go to school for more than a couple of days

at a time. She always needed breaks. She still does. But in her situation,

she loves school because children love to protect her. When she cries or gets

upset, she has a whole group of kids who rally around her and are so concerned

and want to help. She is so sweet and has always had lots of friends. With my

son, I can remember going in to his kindergarten class and the teacher would

tell them to break into centers. There was only 3 people or so allowed at each

center. Well, he was very slow moving and by the time he would get to a group,

they would say (very meanly), this group is full, you have to go somewhere else.

This would happen over and over again so he would just kind of wander around and

look so sad. His teacher would never be looking and didn't see the problem. I

would walk over and help him find somewhere to go, but it broke my heart. He

also was one who never had anyone

to play with at recess. He would go up and get the nerve to ask someone if

they wanted to play and they would always say no. It is so hard.

Anyway, I have been writing so much this morning because I have a piano lesson

tomorrow and I have about 4 hours of practice I need to still do, and I am

totally procrastinating! I guess it's time to go and do what I need to do!

in TN

popo9807 wrote:

Okay the stuff you are talking about is EXACTLY why I don't want my

daughter in school. My nieces and nephews come home with stories of

stuff that we might have heard in high school and they are only 7 and

10.

As far as the real world stuff that's how I think about it too in a

way. I know that once you are out of school it's a totally different

world. How many times have I tried to reassure my poor teenage nieces

that none of this school crap will matter in a couple of years. It's

sad really. Maybe if I can homeschool and give them that extra

confidence maybe that would make a huge difference in the " real

world " someday.

But what about what the psychiatrist said? The actual psychologist

that we'll be seeing didn't comment at all I don't think, just the

psychiatrist. He just said with a smile that he didn't think it would

be a good idea.

Maybe I should start looking into it now so if the stuff hits the fan

next year I am prepared? At the start of this year I asked her if

she'd want to homeschool and she said no she wanted to go be with the

kids. Now about two or so weeks ago she was crying her eyes out

begging me to homeschool her. I tried to explain to her that it's not

something you can just all the sudden jump up and do one day, that it

requires much preperation.

Please share more thoughts on this everyone. Do you think the doc was

against it just because of her seperation anxiety? If so surely there

are other ways to get her over that besides school. Actually I think

it just makes it worse.

> Before my daughter was diagnosed with OCD I had really

thought hard

> about homeschooling her. I guess mainly I just don't have much

faith

> in our schools here. I just felt like we could get done at home in

> less time what takes them all day to do because we could cut out a

> lot of the bull they have to do.

>

> Plus my daughter has heard and learned things at school that are

just

> innapropriate. The kids these days, what can I say.

>

> Now since my daugher has been diagnosed with OCD as well as general

> anxiety disorder and seperation anxiety, well the school experience

> is even worse. I feel like anytime I try to be helpfull to the

school

> concerning my daughter that they think I'm just some overprotective

> freak. I also feel that my daughter is judged unfairly.

>

> We live in a a small community where people talk..a lot. Plus my

> husband is a deputy sheriff so we seem to get even more " talk " . Now

I

> don't care if people talk about me all day long, but it hurts to

> think of my daughter being talked about.

>

> I don't like feeling like we are just making up my daughter's OCD

> issues. I guess this isn't just with school but with everywhere.

> People don't get it unless they are there all the time. So many

> people think the child is just doing things for attention or

> something. Plus the way the symptoms can come and go just seems to

> make it worse.

>

> So at our evaluation with our daughter's therapist I had mentioned

> how even prior to the OCD I had thought about homeschooling her.

They

> said that wouldn't be a " good idea " . This really bothers me in a

way.

>

> Then again I'm sure they want her to go to school so she can learn

to

> adjust to real life. Of course I want this to. My fear is if I do

> homeschool her that she will be too sheltered and will never learn

> about the real world's rules.

>

> I don't know how do you all feel about homeschooling?

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am really into venting today I guess, but this reminds me of how

people look at my daughter and they give that look or make a remark

that says, " she is just a brat and it's your fault " . People have told

me I should have spanked her like they spanked their kids and she

wouldn't be like this. Such ignorance.

>

> Before my daughter was diagnosed with OCD I had really thought hard

> about homeschooling her. I guess mainly I just don't have much

faith

> in our schools here. I just felt like we could get done at home in

> less time what takes them all day to do because we could cut out a

> lot of the bull they have to do.

>

> Plus my daughter has heard and learned things at school that are

just

> innapropriate. The kids these days, what can I say.

>

> Now since my daugher has been diagnosed with OCD as well as general

> anxiety disorder and seperation anxiety, well the school experience

> is even worse. I feel like anytime I try to be helpfull to the

school

> concerning my daughter that they think I'm just some overprotective

> freak. I also feel that my daughter is judged unfairly.

>

> We live in a a small community where people talk..a lot. Plus my

> husband is a deputy sheriff so we seem to get even more " talk " . Now

I

> don't care if people talk about me all day long, but it hurts to

> think of my daughter being talked about.

>

> I don't like feeling like we are just making up my daughter's OCD

> issues. I guess this isn't just with school but with everywhere.

> People don't get it unless they are there all the time. So many

> people think the child is just doing things for attention or

> something. Plus the way the symptoms can come and go just seems to

> make it worse.

>

> So at our evaluation with our daughter's therapist I had mentioned

> how even prior to the OCD I had thought about homeschooling her.

They

> said that wouldn't be a " good idea " . This really bothers me in a

way.

>

> Then again I'm sure they want her to go to school so she can learn

to

> adjust to real life. Of course I want this to. My fear is if I do

> homeschool her that she will be too sheltered and will never learn

> about the real world's rules.

>

> I don't know how do you all feel about homeschooling?

>

[Guest guest]

I am not a homeschooler, but I see all the advantages and if one of my

children needed to be homeschooled, I wouldn't hesitate. My oldest (12)

is my OCD'er and she is all about her friends and staying in school.

However, when her OCD is bad, she can't get to school very well and may

very well change her tune. I am very open to it. Also, the math

curriculum is so terrible in our district that I did pull my (then) 3rd

grader out for math last year and we got so much done! I loved having

him home in the afternoons. My twins start Kindergarten next year, so

now I feel like I will have more time and options if one of them needs

to stay home.

I agree that most psychiatrists/psychologists would say to stay in

school. Why? I agree that the " real world " is not at all like middle

school and high school--thank goodness! What are they gaining socially

by staying in school? My kids all do sports, piano, scouts, church

groups, etc. Plenty of socialization.

HTH,

Dina

[Guest guest]

I will say that when my son was bad, I think that school was a good thing for

him. The more free time he had, the more his thoughts bothered him. I believe

the structure and all the busy work was a very positive thing at that time.

Kind Regards,

in TN

Dina wrote:

I am not a homeschooler, but I see all the advantages and if one of my

children needed to be homeschooled, I wouldn't hesitate. My oldest (12)

is my OCD'er and she is all about her friends and staying in school.

However, when her OCD is bad, she can't get to school very well and may

very well change her tune. I am very open to it. Also, the math

curriculum is so terrible in our district that I did pull my (then) 3rd

grader out for math last year and we got so much done! I loved having

him home in the afternoons. My twins start Kindergarten next year, so

now I feel like I will have more time and options if one of them needs

to stay home.

I agree that most psychiatrists/psychologists would say to stay in

school. Why? I agree that the " real world " is not at all like middle

school and high school--thank goodness! What are they gaining socially

by staying in school? My kids all do sports, piano, scouts, church

groups, etc. Plenty of socialization.

HTH,

Dina

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

I agree that homeschool can have some drawbacks, it is very

individual. While two of my daughters (both OCD but one in aspie

spectrum) were being homeschooled (which had always kept them

advanced academically but not neccesarily socially-not saying school

offers the best socialization either-it depends) the younger

developed a mimicry obsession with her older sister and there was no

escape for my older daughter. She ended up feeling deeply stressed

and responsible for my younger daughter who would not eat if her

sister was absent. Obviously this did not help my older daughter's

OCD and mood issues (she had left her private school unable to cope

b/c of her OCD-but she had been homeschooled through 6th grade prior

to that).

Currently my 11 yr old son (OCD homebound) has a contamination issue

with my 8 yrold son (no OCD public schooled) so my 8 yr old son

constantly inadevtently antoagonizes him b/c he is

considered 'conatimnated' to my OCD son. I believe it is good for my

8 yr old to be at school and be away from some of the craziness here

sometimes.

Also when my middle daughter ended up being at UCLA for 3 months it

involved so much commuting for us to spend time there (3 hours each

way-so I was gone for 2-3 days per week) for 3 months and upon her

return to take over her refeeding daily that consumed the whole day,

that I was not able to continue to homeschool, so put my 2 boys into

school at that time (as 2nd grader and 4th grader). Also

during that time my 12 yr old homeschooler (no OCD) ended up having

to help alot at home and with her preschool sister, which interfered

with her schooling (she did not want to go into public middle school

when my boys went into elemenatry school so she stayed with

homeschooling). Sometimes I wonder if all had been in public school

things would have been less complex but maybe they would have ended

up unable to cope who knows.

So my 8 yr old has thrived in school (no OCD but did develop asthma

after starting school) but my 11 yr old son whose OCD was

subclinical at that time, though he did very well (advanced which

they attributed to his prior homeschooling!) for 4th grade, now is

homebound with sevre OCD this year.

Sometimes you are left with homeschooling as the only option, I

cannot imagine my son managing middle school. We are considering

having him in a special ed class (just 5 students and maybe maintream

from three but we'll see. We may also have him in independent study

so meeting just one day for classes (but he does no writing barely

any reading). maybe i will homeschool just to escape all the

expecations for a spell.

my 15 yr old daughter has always been homeschoooled, it has worked oK

but i feel a lost as she approaches gradaution b/c we have never been

in the system and it is harder to " wing " it with a child with special

needs as they get older. There is no template for what to do, and

trying to juggle it with other kids needs makes it more complex to

handle.

Three is no pat answer is all I know. I feel like at every turn I am

presnted with a new problem or dilemma (3 kids with severe ocd and 3

doing ok-but they need attention and structure too). Yet somehow life

goes on, we remain a family in this together, and we all make it.

nancy grace

> I am not a homeschooler, but I see all the advantages and

if one of my

> children needed to be homeschooled, I wouldn't hesitate. My oldest

(12)

> is my OCD'er and she is all about her friends and staying in

school.

> However, when her OCD is bad, she can't get to school very well and

may

> very well change her tune. I am very open to it. Also, the math

> curriculum is so terrible in our district that I did pull my (then)

3rd

> grader out for math last year and we got so much done! I loved

having

> him home in the afternoons. My twins start Kindergarten next year,

so

> now I feel like I will have more time and options if one of them

needs

> to stay home.

>

> I agree that most psychiatrists/psychologists would say to stay in

> school. Why? I agree that the " real world " is not at all like

middle

> school and high school--thank goodness! What are they gaining

socially

> by staying in school? My kids all do sports, piano, scouts, church

> groups, etc. Plenty of socialization.

>

> HTH,

> Dina

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think that homeschooling is a personal choice that each person

must make themselves and a lot of it depends on the child. We never

homeschooled our children. We are fortunate that we have really good

public schools by us. Even though we chose not to homeschool, I

certainly understand why some people choose to do this. I think the

biggest concern with homeschooling is the social aspect. However,

like others have already mentioned, there are other opportunities for

socialization.

One word of caution though, you mentioned that your daughter has

heard and learned things at school that are inappropriate. I know

the same is true for my kids going to a public school. Not sure how

old your daughter is but here is something to consider. I recently

went to a Youth Specialities conference for church youth workers and

volunteers. Both of our kids have been involved in our church's

youth group and I volunteer my time to help with some of their

activities. I have lots of experience with teenagers. Anyway, one

of the seminars was Youth Culture 101. It talked about how the

influences on todays teens have changed over the passed couple of

decades. One of the things the speaker mentioned was " any kid, any

time " . What he meant by this is that no matter how much you shelter

your kids from the outside world's influences, at some point in time

they will be exposed to them. Sheltering them from the world's

influences actually does more harm than good. As parents we need to

understand and be fully aware of the current youth culture. If we

know what's out there, we can better prepare are kids for it.

Unfortunately no matter what, your daughter will hear and learn

inappropriate things. The important thing is that you spend time

talking to her about those things. Now I know that your daughter

having OCD adds a whole other dimension to this, but just know that

she will be exposed to today's youth culture at some point in time

whether she is in school or homeschooled.

So, just do what you think is best for your daughter. You know

your daughter better than anyone else. BTW, did you ask your

daughter's therapist why they said it would not be a good idea to

homeschool her? I would be interested in their reason.

Connie

[Guest guest]

I totally agree that kids are going to be exposed to the crap sooner

or later. I guess that's sort of what's holding me back. I don't want

to shield her from so much that later in life she doesn't know how to

handle things that come her way. And I'm afraid that I'd do that even

if I really didn't mean to.

Hearing what everyone has to say really worries me. We're making it

through kindergarten well, sort of. What in the world it will be like

when she's in higher grades I can't even imagine.

Honestly just the stress of getting her to school and worrying about

how she's holding up while she's there is getting to me. Sometimes it

just seems like such a waste. Then I go back to feeling like she's

got to learn that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do.

I just wish school wasn't one of them, especially so early on.

I think I will ask the therapists again about homeschooling and why

they are against it. I know that there biggest issue to start was

getting her back into school. Oh also someone mentioned that the busy

work and the structured seemed to help their child. Sometimes I think

that might be the case for us too. Then again sometimes she seems so

stressed by it.

She gets home from school at ten to four and then soon I have to

start making dinner. That takes a bit and before you know it it's

bedtime. She get's so sad that we didn't have much time to play. I

admit it doesn't seem enough time. It's like we're constantly rushing

and still we have trouble getting to bed on time even though most

nights we do. She's always required a lot of sleep so I try to get

her to bed by 8:30. I just hate that it doesn't leave much time to be

a kid. Factor that in with all the OCD stuff and there really just

isn't much time to enjoy being a child.

I just don't know what to do. Where does a person start anyway if

they were going to homeschool? It's such a huge undertaking I just

don't know where to begin. Also does anyone know what you'd do if say

in the middle of the year your child got so bad that school was just

near impossible? I mean can you just up and homeschool them? I can't

imagine doing that but I'm worried I'll find myself in that positon.

>

> I think that homeschooling is a personal choice that each person

> must make themselves and a lot of it depends on the child. We

never

> homeschooled our children. We are fortunate that we have really

good

> public schools by us. Even though we chose not to homeschool, I

> certainly understand why some people choose to do this. I think

the

> biggest concern with homeschooling is the social aspect. However,

> like others have already mentioned, there are other opportunities

for

> socialization.

> One word of caution though, you mentioned that your daughter has

> heard and learned things at school that are inappropriate. I know

> the same is true for my kids going to a public school. Not sure

how

> old your daughter is but here is something to consider. I recently

> went to a Youth Specialities conference for church youth workers

and

> volunteers. Both of our kids have been involved in our church's

> youth group and I volunteer my time to help with some of their

> activities. I have lots of experience with teenagers. Anyway, one

> of the seminars was Youth Culture 101. It talked about how the

> influences on todays teens have changed over the passed couple of

> decades. One of the things the speaker mentioned was " any kid, any

> time " . What he meant by this is that no matter how much you

shelter

> your kids from the outside world's influences, at some point in

time

> they will be exposed to them. Sheltering them from the world's

> influences actually does more harm than good. As parents we need

to

> understand and be fully aware of the current youth culture. If we

> know what's out there, we can better prepare are kids for it.

> Unfortunately no matter what, your daughter will hear and learn

> inappropriate things. The important thing is that you spend time

> talking to her about those things. Now I know that your daughter

> having OCD adds a whole other dimension to this, but just know that

> she will be exposed to today's youth culture at some point in time

> whether she is in school or homeschooled.

> So, just do what you think is best for your daughter. You know

> your daughter better than anyone else. BTW, did you ask your

> daughter's therapist why they said it would not be a good idea to

> homeschool her? I would be interested in their reason.

>

> Connie

>