Re: Can anyone offer advice?

February 8, 2007

Clonidine or Zanax helped Karac; he is 14 now and no longer needs it. Pat K

February 8, 2007

My Adam learns from TV or videos. We have successfully banned all the programs that has caused problems. Put parental controls on all the shows that seem to cause problems. Tom and Jerry was a big one here, Power Rangers, Ed Edd and Eddy, etc. We are now even looking at Spongebob having parental controls. Brittin avsheffi wrote: I have a six year old son with mild autism. He is

very verbal. Our problem is his language. He says very mean things to people....his parents, grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, you name it. He can be very sweet and likes to give hugs, but sometimes he can be very cruel. I have found that some of the things he says are things he's heard on television or videos. I try to screen things, but can't always do that. He also hits, bites and kicks when he gets frustrated. His school brought in a behavior specialist to offer suggestions, but it doesn't seem to have helped much. I'm wondering if there is anything besides just behavior management that would help him, like medications.I would appreicate any advice that anyone has.Angie

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February 8, 2007

Angie, Whatever you decide to do with your son's behavior~don't be too quick to think meds can help.....just ask anyone here~experiences vary with everyone! His biting, kicking etc....what precedes his behavior? is something frustrating him.....if he has trouble vocalizing his frustrations, then lashing out will be the next avenue for him....my son had to be physically restrained 3x last year because he would lash out~and unfortunately his teacher would continue to engage him and it would get worse.....now, when he begins becoming frustrated & spiraling, they put him in a carpeted area of the room, away from everyone, and ignore him. Since no one entertains his behavior, he quickly gets bored and asks to come back to the activities being completed.....~this didn't happen overnight, it took several weeks for him to get that no one was going to entertain his bad behavior~and that he would be

ignored and refused attention when he behaved badly. I don't know if that will help in your case~but it might help him realize that you won't tolerate his behavior and get him to end it sooner. Then the next step would be finding the triggers for his frustration. Good luck! Aprilavsheffi wrote: I have a six year old son with mild autism. He is very verbal. Our problem is his language. He says very mean things to people....his

parents, grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, you name it. He can be very sweet and likes to give hugs, but sometimes he can be very cruel. I have found that some of the things he says are things he's heard on television or videos. I try to screen things, but can't always do that. He also hits, bites and kicks when he gets frustrated. His school brought in a behavior specialist to offer suggestions, but it doesn't seem to have helped much. I'm wondering if there is anything besides just behavior management that would help him, like medications.I would appreicate any advice that anyone has.Angie

February 8, 2007

Hi Angie,

I have a 7 yr old son with mild Autism also. What I have noticed in him

is that when they reach the point of frustration they loose all contact

with what you say or do to stop them. My son use to do all that but he

is not anymore, part of it is just getting mature as he grows. I tried

flash cards with emotions on them (happy faces, sad face, etc) and

sometimes put colors with it so when I would ask him how he was feeling

he could just show me instead of trying to put it into words. It did

help from scalating out of control. Remember is all about expressing

how they feel.

Sometimes they get overwhelmed and react. Try to keep track of

" when " this happens, what is he doing and what could be the casue so

you can be one step ahead (I know, not that easy). There is always

light at the end of the tunnel and a lot of resources out there. google

can be a very good friend!!

good luck

>

> I have a six year old son with mild autism. He is very verbal. Our

> problem is his language. He says very mean things to people....his

> parents, grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, you name it. He can be

> very sweet and likes to give hugs, but sometimes he can be very

> cruel. I have found that some of the things he says are things he's

> heard on television or videos. I try to screen things, but can't

> always do that. He also hits, bites and kicks when he gets

> frustrated. His school brought in a behavior specialist to offer

> suggestions, but it doesn't seem to have helped much. I'm wondering

> if there is anything besides just behavior management that would help

> him, like medications.

>

> I would appreicate any advice that anyone has.

>

> Angie

>

February 9, 2007

This is exactly what I went through. Sometimes I could pinpoint what was frustrating my son but other times his anger just came out of the blue! Then it was scary because we would be driving somewhere and all of a sudden he would sock me. If I put him in the back seat he would get out of his seatbelt and start hitting me from behind or hurl his matchbox cars at me. Thank God I never had a traffic accident. I tried behavior therapy because I did not want to give him any medications. Unfortunately I finally had to give in to medications. Now he takes respidol, haldol, naltrexone and ritalin. He has been on these meds for a long time. He is 17 right now and I think he is starting to get immune to them because his hitting is starting again. He also has an uncontrolled seizure disorder and his neurologist thinks maybe these episodes are actually violent seizures. Good luck to you. Theresa April aka Gypsycatwoman wrote: Angie, Whatever you decide to do with your son's behavior~don't be too quick to think meds can help.....just ask anyone here~experiences vary with everyone! His biting, kicking etc....what precedes his behavior? is something frustrating him.....if he has trouble vocalizing his frustrations, then lashing out will be the next avenue for him....my son had to be physically restrained

3x last year because he would lash out~and unfortunately his teacher would continue to engage him and it would get worse.....now, when he begins becoming frustrated & spiraling, they put him in a carpeted area of the room, away from everyone, and ignore him. Since no one entertains his behavior, he quickly gets bored and asks to come back to the activities being completed.....~this didn't happen overnight, it took several weeks for him to get that no one was going to entertain his bad behavior~and that he would be ignored and refused attention when he behaved badly. I don't know if that will help in your case~but it might help him realize that you won't tolerate his behavior and get him to end it sooner. Then the next step would be finding the triggers for his frustration. Good luck! Aprilavsheffi <avsheffi> wrote: I have a six year old son with mild autism. He is very verbal. Our problem is his language. He says very mean things to people....his parents, grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, you name it. He can be very sweet and likes to give hugs, but sometimes he can be very cruel. I have found that some of the things he says are things he's heard on television or videos. I try to screen things, but can't always do that. He also hits, bites and kicks when he gets frustrated. His school brought in a behavior specialist to offer suggestions, but it doesn't seem to have helped much. I'm wondering if there is anything besides just behavior management that would help him, like medications.I would appreicate any advice that anyone has.Angie

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February 10, 2007

Angie, I completely agree with April's advice. I have an 8 yr. old son (moderate to severe autism diagnosis) who has many behavioral issues. Most of it is always because something is not right or bothering him and he isn't comfortable with communication (speech delay) so he picks the next easiest way-which is physical. A year and a half ago I would get 2 'restraint notices' a week on him (for a 20-30 second restraint). I am lucky to have good, experienced teachers who worked with him and introduced a 'sensory room' in the class with a blanket, bean bag, etc. and used it as a combo reward and calm down place. My son soon began to request to go to the sensory room when he knew he was getting upset or didn't want to be around others. I use this technique at home with a dark room and he does well now with it. I also want to point out that anything you try will not be an overnight success. Your child has a lot more to deal with than neurotypical children so everything goes more slowly. Are all of his caregivers on the same page? Have you really given the behavior specialist enough time? I think my son does have a small issue separating fantasy from reality sometimes. He is so visually memory oriented that I think what he sees makes a big imprint. I often see him repeating unwanted behaviors from the most innocent games or movies - so I screen his stuff heavily -absolutely no hitting or violence. As far as the drug issue, I would encourage anyone who is considering medication to take a good, hard look and be darn sure that they have tried Everything Possible before using meds. No young child should be on medication unless absolutely necessary to their health or survival. I will now tell you that my son has been on Adderall for 3 1/2 years now for (quote from 3 pediatricians) -'The most hyperactive child I have ever seen.' I tried every diet and vitamin therapy, tested for metals, behavior intervention, etc. for 1 1/2 years before I made the decision. I still don't like it but he is so hyper without it that he can't sit still for a second and learn anything or really listen to me. I will stress again to be sure that you have given behavior modifications enough time because it could be 3-6 months or more depending on the child before you see progress and trust me -you want him to Really learn that this is not ok. I know it is a hard road but you can do it and succeed if you try hard -lots of us have. Finally, please don't forget that you have a child with autism. You have a child with his own personality, his own desires, his own agenda -just like everyone else. Don't automatically assume everything he does is autistic. He's not an autistic child, he's your child who happens to have autism.

In Hope Always,

Shauna > I have a six year old son with mild autism. He is very verbal. Our > problem is his language. He says very mean things to people....his > parents, grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, you name it. He can be > very sweet and likes to give hugs, but sometimes he can be very > cruel. I have found that some of the things he says are things he's > heard on television or videos. I try to screen things, but can't > always do that. He also hits, bites and kicks when he gets > frustrated. His school brought in a behavior specialist to offer > suggestions, but it doesn't seem to have helped much. I'm wondering > if there is anything besides just behavior management that would help > him, like medications.> > I would appreicate any advice that anyone has.> > Angie>

February 10, 2007

I've had this problem with my son as well. As drastic as it may seem,

I completely cut out the tv for a week. When he wanted tv, I'd take

him outside or we'd read a book or something -- anything to get him

away from the tv. I even moved the tv to my bedroom. After he went

to sleep, I watched his video's to see what was in them... really

watched them *looking* for something - anything - that could trigger

him... I only kept the ones I found nothing in. Then when he began

watching the ones left again, I'd introduce a few at a time. If he

suddenly became worse, I'd check the most recently added videos again.

I ended up weeding out ones that I hadn't necessarily even considered

a problem. That helped alot.

The other thing I'd do was " coach " him. If he said or did something

inappropriate, I would immediately shake my head and say, " That wasn't

very nice. We shouldn't say/do that, should we? Poor ... (mamaw,

papaw, sissy...etc.) " I would then instruct him to look at the person

and repeat after me. I'd have him to say, " I'm sorry for saying

(whatever he said) " or " I'm sorry for (whatever he did). " Then I'd

give him a hug or a kiss on the cheek if he was receptive to it. If

not, I'd simply say something like " Good job. " It took time and I had

to get everyone involved and to agree they would use the same approach

with him.

Also if he hit or hurt his little sister (sometimes he'd even try to

choke her which terrified me!) I would immediately separate them and

have them sit in chairs away from each other but in the same room.

I'd then piece together what lead up to the " attack " by asking what

happened. His sister could usually tell me what he did and what she

did. I'd then have him to repeat what she did that upset him, that it

upset him, and what he did. (e.g. She took my toy and that made me

mad. I hit her.) I'd say something like, " We shouldn't do that,

should we? We should tell mommy when sissy takes our toys. " I'd then

have her to aplogize FIRST (reversing who apologized never worked) and

then have him to apologize.

If there was no apparent reason for an outburst, I'd give him some

down-time... sit with him and hold him if he'd allow it or let him sit

in my room quietly for awhile.

It took alot of work, but it has helped. Now he seldom says mean

things, hits, or anything like that. In fact, he often makes a growl

sound then runs to me to tell me what happened BEFORE he acts now...

Granted I still have to pry the story, because he usually says the

person was mean to him... but I think it's a step in the right

direction at least. It's not 100%, but it's enough of an improvement

that other people noticed it and commented on it.

Sorry my response was so long, but I hope it helps some.

Charlene