Letting Loved Ones Go/Phyllis

[Guest guest]

((((Phyllis)))))

I know this is a tough time you are going through right now, but I

wanted to add my perspective (which I hope someone will remind me of

when I need it!).

As humans, we often feel guilty or some other negative emotions when

our loved ones die without us there. But think about it from their

perspective. THeir soul is ready to go back to God, its real home,

to heaven -- however you want to phrase it.

Yet their human side can feel our love and they know it will hurt us

when they leave. So they are literally torn between 2 worlds. That

is why many souls choose to leave when there are no loved ones

around. It is easier on them.

You can make their journey easier by telling them to go, to give up

this diseased body, and to join friends and family who have gone

before them, to go and live in the joy and light of God.

Hope this concept helps.

Blessings,

Lori

> >

> > Dear Jan,

> >

> > I suggest that you read through one of the hospice booklets.

> > Tears filled my eyes when I first read that booklet, just days

> > before my dad passed in 2002. It is written simply, as to be an

> easy

> > read. For me it was pretty difficult keeping from

> > thinking... " well we passed that stage... and we have also

passed

> > that stage " ... etc.

> >

> > There are a number of signs on how a person's world shrinks

during

> > the last weeks and days. Our loved ones give up the things that

> > were important to them, a stage at a time. For his last years,

my

> > father kept a diary, but his written words got fewer and fewer.

> > Finally his posts were little more than the day's high and low:

> > outside temps.

> >

> > Stage by stage, both mom and dad stopped doing things that had

been

> > patterns of a life time. Things like politics, reading portions

of

> > the paper that had been important, and finally just before they

> > stopped reading, all together, even they stopped reading the

Obits.

> >

> > The TV went the same course, till finally they had no interest

in

> it.

> > Toward the end they had no interest in seeing anyone other than

> > close caregivers.

> >

> > For both my mom and dad, just as the hospice book suggested:

they

> > were much clearer mentally on their last night, before passing

the

> > next morning. For mom, she wanted certain things around the

> > home " cleaned up " . In the last days, I saw that she was having

> > trouble focusing her eyes, and her stare became more

> > often " vacant " . I think that both of them said their good byes

as

> > best as they could, and just let go of life, as their last

> conscious

> > decision. Both mom and dad " let go " weeks before I would have

> > guessed. I thought mom would certainly be here for the wedding

of

> > my oldest daughter.

> >

> > My mom definately knew me to the very end. When I saw that she

> was

> > going, I made several telephone calls. I tried to get my

brother

> > and sisters on the phone, but it wasn't so important, as she had

> > said her good byes to them in better days.

> >

> > Today, now, is always the best time hug your loved one.

> >

> > Dann