Re: My son's weight problems

[Guest guest]

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.

My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, " Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets. "

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

We learned a long time ago not to give in to meltdowns.To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, June 27, 2011 5:21 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.

My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, "Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets."

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

also works for kids without autism when they have their tantrums.

We learned a long time ago not to give in to meltdowns.

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Monday, June 27, 2011 5:21 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

 

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.

My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, " Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets. "

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards. Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.A better choice is to purge the house of all "non legal' foods. Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get rid of anything and everything not healthy. No "well she can eat it, she's not on a

diet" crap. It all has to go, so the entire family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he likes lettuce & tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy just

any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight. You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger and stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it won't be possible at 15 or 16.As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we don't own a

pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His twin sister helps, but its not like having another friend whos a boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did. Hang in there.

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Monday, June 27, 2011 5:21 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.

My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, "Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets."

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Our son also is overweight - and it's really tough! We do watch what he eats when he's at home - but he's 13 and when he's not at home I know he's eating what he shouldn't. He has a couple of friends - and they are skinny! - and they like to go to 7-Eleven for slurpees or Dairy Queen for ice cream. Poor , ice cream is his very favourite food so it's hard for him to say no when they are going there - plus, he's always trying to do whatever they are doing so he fits in. He doesn't hang around them too much in the summer so hopefully we can make some progress!!

I feel bad for him. Today was the day his class had a trip to the waterslide park near here. He didn't go because he didn't want the kids to see him in his bathing suit. I kept him home so he wouldn't have to endure the teasing. He has also been mistaken for a girl a couple of times because of his body shape. He has developed breasts, well sort of anyway, and has the shape of a young teen girl who is just starting puberty.

also has some texture issues with food, certain foods actually make him throw up and that includes many vegetables and almost all fruits! It is really hard for me to see him this way.

Good luck!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Re: My son's weight problems

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, "Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets."Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Have your son drink plenty of water each day. We are doing this for our son. It helps them to lose weight, and also stay full longer.

Jenn

 

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right. My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, " Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets. "

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

[Guest guest]

And a trick my son uses is to eat shaved ice! Yuck! I can't stand to eat ice but he loves it so we bought him an electric ice shaver (he loves gadgets) and in the evening when he wants to snack, he'll take a tray of ice cubes, put it in the shaver and then eat it all night!

-- Re: My son's weight problems

Have your son drink plenty of water each day. We are doing this for our son. It helps them to lose weight, and also stay full longer.

Jenn

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right. My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue. Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, "Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets." Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

[Guest guest]

I really empathize with your situation. My son was also skinny and has now

become overweight. A lot of it has to do with the minimal physical activity.

He wants to just do gaming during his free time.

Here's what I've done: I have him watch Dr. Oz with me. I know it's a crazy

idea, but it works. For him, it has to make sense. Dr. Oz has a lot of advice

on weight management and the dangers of sugar, etc. He also shows images of

what happens in the body when we consume x, y or z. I think for many Aspies,

things have to make sense for them in order for them to feel motivated.

I take him on long walks and let him talk to me about his special interests. He

love to talk about things until my face turns blue so this gives him a chance

to do that and I feel like we're at least getting him a workout. We have lots

of hills so it's great.

I have made some rules. They are predictable and non negotiable. Desert is

only allowed once on Saturday and once on Sunday. It's not anything he wants

(which it used to be). Instead of ice cream, I get him a frozen yogurt with a

topping. That sort of thing. I also will make him desert at home.

Before he starts a meal, he drinks water. This gives him a sense that he's

fuller. I don't give him any food until he's had one or two servings of

veggies. Once those are out of the way, he can eat. He likes to eat a lot of

food too. He eats more than I do. I've heard there are some vitamins out there

that regulate blood sugar....but I can't think of what they are.

Not everything I said may be helpful, but I hope at least something is. Best of

luck to you and your son.

[Guest guest]

ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the kitchen cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.

I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and recovering from the 3 c-sections I had.

Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards. Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.

A better choice is to purge the house of all " non legal' foods. Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get rid of anything and everything not healthy. No " well she can eat it, she's not on a

diet " crap.  It all has to go, so the entire family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc.  Then work on introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he likes lettuce & tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and no one feels deprived.  Start with small things. We don't buy just

any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole.  It's as much about re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.

You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass.  And you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger and stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it won't be possible at 15 or 16.

As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we don't own a

pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them outside if I have to.  The trick is that he's lonely and wants someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His twin sister  helps, but its not like having another friend whos a boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.

Hang in there.

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Monday, June 27, 2011 5:21 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

 

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.

My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.

Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, " Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets. "

Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

My son is over weight as well but he's healthy an happy thats all that matters

to me as he grows taller he will get smaller...

>

>

> Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things

> exactly right.

>

> My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating

> habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that

> had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time

> but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight

> and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar,

> low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also

> will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues

> where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to

> address this issue.

>

> Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies

> with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only

> advice was, " Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets. "

>

> Thank you for any insight you can provide. We are very distressed over this.

>

[Guest guest]

I do not know what kind of services they have in Canada, but here in the US they have nutrition counseling for overweight children in the children's hospitals. They will weight him once a month or more often like he's going to Weight Watchers or something and spend time educating him on nutrition. They might even help you find creative ways to get around his texture issues. Have you heard of the cookbook by Seinfield? She finds hidden ways to put veg and fruit into her children's food. You can put veggies in meatloaf, meatballs, fruit in brownies, etc. I know nutrition services sound silly because it's likely that YOU know everything there is to know about nutrition, but it can help HIM because they work with him one on one, teach him how to journal his calories, eat a balanced diet etc. It might help to come from someone other than you?? The weight issue is a

sensitive one. Is he interested in any sports? or is he not a sports guy? They (for overweight children) at least in our area recommend at least an hr. a day of physical activity. It can be broken up into several smaller sessions, but an hour overall. Have you had him checked by an endocrine dr? Perhaps they might do lab work that'll show his thyroid isn't working normally or some other reason for weight gain. If he's eating the same foods as his friend and he's the only one gaining the weight?? Poor dude. I really empathize for your little guy! He shouldn't have to miss a class trip due to his body image.

Hang in there!! Unfortunatlely, I have the opposite problem! Two of my children are underweight and have to drink 3 Ensure Plus (1050 calories) just to keep the weight on!!!

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Mon, June 27, 2011 10:53:09 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

Our son also is overweight - and it's really tough! We do watch what he eats when he's at home - but he's 13 and when he's not at home I know he's eating what he shouldn't. He has a couple of friends - and they are skinny! - and they like to go to 7-Eleven for slurpees or Dairy Queen for ice cream. Poor , ice cream is his very favourite food so it's hard for him to say no when they are going there - plus, he's always trying to do whatever they are doing so he fits in. He doesn't hang around them too much in the summer so hopefully we can make some progress!!

I feel bad for him. Today was the day his class had a trip to the waterslide park near here. He didn't go because he didn't want the kids to see him in his bathing suit. I kept him home so he wouldn't have to endure the teasing. He has also been mistaken for a girl a couple of times because of his body shape. He has developed breasts, well sort of anyway, and has the shape of a young teen girl who is just starting puberty.

also has some texture issues with food, certain foods actually make him throw up and that includes many vegetables and almost all fruits! It is really hard for me to see him this way.

Good luck!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Re: My son's weight problems

padlock the fridge and cupboards and don't give in if he has a meltdown.

Hello, I'm new here so please forgive me if I don't start out doing things exactly right.My 12-year-old son has Asperger's and has developed a severe overeating habit. He had been a thin child until his dr. tried some meds on him that had the side effect of weight gain. Now he's been off the meds for some time, but the habit of overeating is still with him. He is severely overweight and has a meltdown if food is ever denied him. Even with buying low-sugar, low-fat, high fiber options and insisting he eat fruit, he is obese. He also will not play or move around unless forced. Add to that his sensory issues where some food textures are concerned, and it's almost impossible to address this issue.Our neurologist who diagnosed his sleep apnea says he has seen many Aspies with weight issues, but he had no advice. We saw a nutritionist whose only advice was, "Fruits and vegetables are better than sweets."Thank you for any insight

you can provide. We are very distressed over this.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

On Oz. they've said that there are some herbals that help you feel full before meals and also some that help keep your blood sugar index regulated, but I don't know what they were. Perhaps it's on his website

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Mon, June 27, 2011 11:07:22 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

I really empathize with your situation. My son was also skinny and has now become overweight. A lot of it has to do with the minimal physical activity. He wants to just do gaming during his free time. Here's what I've done: I have him watch Dr. Oz with me. I know it's a crazy idea, but it works. For him, it has to make sense. Dr. Oz has a lot of advice on weight management and the dangers of sugar, etc. He also shows images of what happens in the body when we consume x, y or z. I think for many Aspies, things have to make sense for them in order for them to feel motivated. I take him on long walks and let him talk to me about his special interests. He love to talk about things until my face turns blue so this gives him a chance to do that and I feel like we're at least getting him a workout. We have lots of hills so it's great. I have made some rules. They are predictable and non negotiable. Desert is only allowed once on

Saturday and once on Sunday. It's not anything he wants (which it used to be). Instead of ice cream, I get him a frozen yogurt with a topping. That sort of thing. I also will make him desert at home. Before he starts a meal, he drinks water. This gives him a sense that he's fuller. I don't give him any food until he's had one or two servings of veggies. Once those are out of the way, he can eat. He likes to eat a lot of food too. He eats more than I do. I've heard there are some vitamins out there that regulate blood sugar....but I can't think of what they are. Not everything I said may be helpful, but I hope at least something is. Best of luck to you and your son.

[Guest guest]

I like that, " attacking my idea with too much ferocity " I have noticed

that as well, good point.

Carolyn

Ponzio wrote:

>

>

> ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the kitchen

> cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get

> into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the

> chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any

> chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help

> themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with

> too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.

>

> I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and recovering

> from the 3 c-sections I had.

>

> On 28 June 2011 12:47, marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...

> > wrote:

>

>

>

> Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not

> Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of

> getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards.

> Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges

> with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought

> just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I

> also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have

> struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A

> HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.

>

> A better choice is to purge the house of all " non legal' foods.

> Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get

> rid of anything and everything not healthy. No " well she can eat

> it, she's not on a diet " crap. It all has to go, so the entire

> family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat

> bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real

> fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on

> introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of

> time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the

> spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for

> years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a

> new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich

> or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10

> 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he likes lettuce &

> tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes

> shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been

> adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and

> no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy

> just any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit

> that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular

> cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about

> re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even

> address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating

> and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.

>

> You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You

> cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And

> you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger and

> stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere

> safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him

> throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize

> No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it

> won't be possible at 15 or 16.

>

> As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we

> don't own a pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not

> his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do

> this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and

> focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day

> (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them

> outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants

> someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His

> twin sister helps, but its not like having another friend whos a

> boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.

>

> Hang in there.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for the advice.

We don't give in to his meltdowns, but it just wears on us after awhile, as you

know.

I am trying something new with him. Someone gave me several Weight Watchers

cookbooks yesterday and I told him if he would pick out recipes from them, we'd

cook together in the evenings. I hope by doing that not only will he learn a

useful skill but we can talk about nutrition and healthy eating. He loved the

idea and is making a grocery list.

I was very overweight as a child, and it hurts to see him struggle even more

than I did.

>

> On Oz. they've said that there are some herbals that help you feel full before

> meals and also some that help keep your blood sugar index regulated, but I

don't

> know what they were.  Perhaps it's on his website

>  

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: autism-aspergers

> Sent: Mon, June 27, 2011 11:07:22 PM

> Subject: Re: My son's weight problems

>

>  

> I really empathize with your situation. My son was also skinny and has now

> become overweight. A lot of it has to do with the minimal physical activity.

He

> wants to just do gaming during his free time.

>

>

> Here's what I've done: I have him watch Dr. Oz with me. I know it's a crazy

> idea, but it works. For him, it has to make sense. Dr. Oz has a lot of advice

on

> weight management and the dangers of sugar, etc. He also shows images of what

> happens in the body when we consume x, y or z. I think for many Aspies, things

> have to make sense for them in order for them to feel motivated.

>

>

> I take him on long walks and let him talk to me about his special interests.

He

> love to talk about things until my face turns blue so this gives him a

chance

> to do that and I feel like we're at least getting him a workout. We have lots

of

> hills so it's great.

>

>

> I have made some rules. They are predictable and non negotiable. Desert is

only

> allowed once on Saturday and once on Sunday. It's not anything he wants (which

> it used to be). Instead of ice cream, I get him a frozen yogurt with a

topping.

> That sort of thing. I also will make him desert at home.

>

>

> Before he starts a meal, he drinks water. This gives him a sense that he's

> fuller. I don't give him any food until he's had one or two servings of

veggies.

> Once those are out of the way, he can eat. He likes to eat a lot of food too.

He

> eats more than I do. I've heard there are some vitamins out there that

regulate

> blood sugar....but I can't think of what they are.

>

>

> Not everything I said may be helpful, but I hope at least something is. Best

of

> luck to you and your son.

>

[Guest guest]

My autistic son loves to eat but, only certain foods. He also prefers to eat about more than half those foods with his fingers. Some stuff he eats is healthy and some is not so much. He refuses to eat almost everything. My older son who is in his teens, also loves to eat. He is slightly overweight. I had to force him to eat better. I know from experience that the age difference and disabilties makes a difference on how to approach this problem. The older ones are more stubborn. Some people don't understand the situation if they have never been in it. The ones that have, listen to them.

I believe you only know if you have dealt with it. Get some healthy foods and see what he likes. Try to cut out the bad stuff as much as possible. I am still dealing with it but, my older son has lost a couple inches in his waistline. A few people in this group have made very good suggestions that I might try.

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:16 AMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

I like that, "attacking my idea with too much ferocity" I have noticed that as well, good point.Carolyn Ponzio wrote:> >> ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the kitchen > cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get > into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the > chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any > chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help > themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with > too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.>> I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and recovering > from the 3 c-sections I had.>> On 28 June 2011 12:47, marilyn <onebusytwinmom@... > > wrote:>>>> Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not> Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of> getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards.> Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges> with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought> just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I> also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have> struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A> HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.>> A better choice is to

purge the house of all "non legal' foods.> Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get> rid of anything and everything not healthy. No "well she can eat> it, she's not on a diet" crap. It all has to go, so the entire> family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat> bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real> fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on> introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of> time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the> spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for> years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a> new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich> or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10> 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he

likes lettuce & > tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes> shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been> adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and> no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy> just any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit> that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular> cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about> re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even> address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating> and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.>> You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You> cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And> you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger

and> stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere> safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him> throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize> No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it> won't be possible at 15 or 16.>> As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we> don't own a pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not> his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do> this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and> focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day> (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them> outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants> someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His> twin sister helps, but its not like

having another friend whos a> boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.>> Hang in there.>>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

There's an enormous difference between putting childproof locks on cabinets when you have babies and toddlers, and padlocking a 12 year old out of the kitchen. The padlock is a hideous idea. And don't tell me I'm attacking with too much ferocity--I have a lot of experience in this area. you, by your own admission, do not have any save post-baby weight which really is not at all the same thing.And if you have never struggled with weight issues, then you really aren't in a position to offer an opinion on the subject. Doing so is much like, oh, a person without a child on the spectrum telling you how to parent your child with Autism. If you haven't

been there, you don't really know what you are talking about. It's not a simple cut-and-dried subject by any means.And Carolyn--I really don't appreciate the "me too" responses--you are getting a bit too close to the personal attack level and I resent it. Your comment added nothing to the discussion. Marilyn

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:16 AMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

I like that, "attacking my idea with too much ferocity" I have noticed that as well, good point.Carolyn Ponzio wrote:> >> ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the kitchen > cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get > into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the > chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any > chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help > themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with > too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.>> I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and recovering > from the 3 c-sections I had.>> On 28 June 2011 12:47, marilyn <onebusytwinmom@... > > wrote:>>>> Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not> Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of> getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards.> Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges> with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought> just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I> also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have> struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A> HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.>> A better choice is to

purge the house of all "non legal' foods.> Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get> rid of anything and everything not healthy. No "well she can eat> it, she's not on a diet" crap. It all has to go, so the entire> family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat> bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real> fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on> introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of> time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the> spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for> years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a> new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich> or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10> 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he

likes lettuce & > tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes> shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been> adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and> no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy> just any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit> that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular> cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about> re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even> address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating> and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.>> You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You> cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And> you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger

and> stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere> safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him> throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize> No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it> won't be possible at 15 or 16.>> As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we> don't own a pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not> his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do> this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and> focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day> (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them> outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants> someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His> twin sister helps, but its not like

having another friend whos a> boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.>> Hang in there.>>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

I agree that experience makes a difference. I am overweight but, have lost alot of weight too. It is a hard battle. In my earlier post I said my son was overweight but, losing. We are both trying.

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 12:31 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

There's an enormous difference between putting childproof locks on cabinets when you have babies and toddlers, and padlocking a 12 year old out of the kitchen. The padlock is a hideous idea. And don't tell me I'm attacking with too much ferocity--I have a lot of experience in this area. you, by your own admission, do not have any save post-baby weight which really is not at all the same thing.

And if you have never struggled with weight issues, then you really aren't in a position to offer an opinion on the subject. Doing so is much like, oh, a person without a child on the spectrum telling you how to parent your child with Autism. If you haven't been there, you don't really know what you are talking about. It's not a simple cut-and-dried subject by any means.

And Carolyn--I really don't appreciate the "me too" responses--you are getting a bit too close to the personal attack level and I resent it. Your comment added nothing to the discussion.

Marilyn

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:16 AMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

I like that, "attacking my idea with too much ferocity" I have noticed that as well, good point.Carolyn Ponzio wrote:> >> ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the kitchen > cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get > into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the > chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any > chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help > themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with > too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.>> I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and recovering > from the 3 c-sections I had.>> On 28 June 2011 12:47, marilyn <onebusytwinmom@... > > wrote:>>>> Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not> Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of> getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards.> Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges> with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought> just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I> also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have> struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A> HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.>> A better choice is to

purge the house of all "non legal' foods.> Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get> rid of anything and everything not healthy. No "well she can eat> it, she's not on a diet" crap. It all has to go, so the entire> family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat> bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real> fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on> introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of> time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the> spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for> years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a> new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich> or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10> 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he

likes lettuce & > tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes> shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been> adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and> no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy> just any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit> that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular> cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about> re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even> address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating> and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.>> You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You> cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And> you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger

and> stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere> safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him> throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize> No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it> won't be possible at 15 or 16.>> As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we> don't own a pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not> his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do> this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and> focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day> (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them> outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants> someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His> twin sister helps, but its not like

having another friend whos a> boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.>> Hang in there.>>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

Marilyn, I do not " personally attack " people, you are misinterpreting my

intent. Seems you are the one with the sarcasm. It is hard to be on

friendly terms with unfriendly people.

Carolyn

marilyn wrote:

>

> There's an enormous difference between putting childproof locks on

> cabinets when you have babies and toddlers, and padlocking a 12 year

> old out of the kitchen. The padlock is a hideous idea. And don't

> tell me I'm attacking with too much ferocity--I have a lot of

> experience in this area. you, by your own admission, do not have any

> save post-baby weight which really is not at all the same thing.

>

> And if you have never struggled with weight issues, then you really

> aren't in a position to offer an opinion on the subject. Doing so is

> much like, oh, a person without a child on the spectrum telling you

> how to parent your child with Autism. If you haven't been there, you

> don't really know what you are talking about. It's not a simple

> cut-and-dried subject by any means.

>

> And Carolyn--I really don't appreciate the " me too " responses--you are

> getting a bit too close to the personal attack level and I resent it.

> Your comment added nothing to the discussion.

>

> Marilyn

>

> *From:* Carolyn

> *To:* autism-aspergers

> *Sent:* Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:16 AM

> *Subject:* Re: My son's weight problems

>

>

> I like that, " attacking my idea with too much ferocity " I have

> noticed

> that as well, good point.

>

> Carolyn

>

> Ponzio wrote:

> >

> >

> > ok not padlocks then but I have child proof locks on all the

> kitchen

> > cupboards so my very young kids (ages 5, 3 and 18 months) don't get

> > into any danger. by doing this, they do NOT have access to the

> > chocolate biscuits their dad likes to have with his coffee and any

> > chips or crackers are fed to them by me, not that they can help

> > themselves to however much they want. you're attacking my idea with

> > too much ferocity. it is LOGICAL.

> >

> > I have never been overweight except when I was pregnant and

> recovering

> > from the 3 c-sections I had.

> >

> > On 28 June 2011 12:47, marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...

> <mailto:onebusytwinmom%40comcast.net>

> > <mailto:onebusytwinmom@...

> <mailto:onebusytwinmom%40comcast.net>>> wrote:

> >

> >

> >

> > Really hideous advice, at least the padlock part. I am not

> > Autistic but have always had a weight issue. My mother, instead of

> > getting rid of the sweets and stuff, padlocked our cupboards.

> > Consequently, I learned how to take the cupboards off the hinges

> > with a screwdriver to get at what I knew was in there (she thought

> > just because i couldn't have it, she shouldn't be deprived). I

> > also developed a hugely enhanced sense of deprivation and have

> > struggled with my weight my entire life. PADLOCKS ARE A

> > HORRIFICALLY BAD IDEA. don't do it, seriously. NOT a good choice.

> >

> > A better choice is to purge the house of all " non legal' foods.

> > Yes, EVERYONE goes on the same eating program. No exceptions. Get

> > rid of anything and everything not healthy. No " well she can eat

> > it, she's not on a diet " crap. It all has to go, so the entire

> > family is a on a level playing field. Everyone gets whole wheat

> > bread, no white for some but wheat for him. Everyone gets real

> > fruit juice, no Hawiian Punch for her. etc. Then work on

> > introducing the new (better) foods and textures. It takes a lot of

> > time and patience and plain not giving in. My son is on the

> > spectrum and has sensory issues. He wouldn't touch new foods for

> > years, but we have the two-bite rule--you have to try 2 bites of a

> > new food. If he still doesn't like it, he can have a PB sandwich

> > or some other standby food for dinner. He has suddenly (at age 10

> > 1/2) gotten experimental. He decided this week he likes lettuce &

> > tomato on his cheeseburger (OH HAPPY DAY, VEGGIES!) He likes

> > shrimp. His palette is expanding. But I have always, ALWAYS been

> > adamant that A) we all eat the same thing, no special orders, and

> > no one feels deprived. Start with small things. We don't buy

> > just any popsicles, we get the ones that are actually pureed fruit

> > that is frozen. Sprinkle a little wheat germ on the regular

> > cereal. Switch to 1% or skim milk from whole. It's as much about

> > re-training the palette as it is weight loss. In fact, don't even

> > address or talk about weight loss. Just focus on Healthy Eating

> > and Exercise for Energy. Don't even mention the weight.

> >

> > You are going to have to live with the meltdowns for awhile. You

> > cannot give in. It make take a few months. But it WILL pass. And

> > you need to do it now--because he is only going to get bigger and

> > stronger. He needs to know YOU are in control. Put him somewhere

> > safe, take everything out of his room if you have to, and let him

> > throw a fit. Eventually he'll wear himself out--and he'll realize

> > No means NO. You need to get that message in him now, because it

> > won't be possible at 15 or 16.

> >

> > As to excercise--it's a tough one. Mine like swimming, but we

> > don't own a pool. (Wish we could afford one). Team sports are not

> > his long suit at all. We're going to try Karate or Tie Kwan Do

> > this fall--both have been recommended to get kids moving and

> > focused, but on their own terms. we limit screens to 1-2 hrs a day

> > (NOT easy I know but has to be done) and I literally throw them

> > outside if I have to. The trick is that he's lonely and wants

> > someone to play with him. That's where we run into problems. His

> > twin sister helps, but its not like having another friend whos a

> > boy. No good answers to that one--I wish I did.

> >

> > Hang in there.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am in a very similar situation- my picky, hops around all day child has begun

to calm down and actually *like* to eat and is now chubby.

Of course we all know that giving in to meltdowns isn't helpful- but when you

are talking about a child who is crying he is hungry vs. a child crying they

want a toy, there is a definite difference. As a healthcare professional I can

tell you that to get permission to lock cabinets and restrict a person's access,

their " right " to their closet, bathroom, food, etc.- even for their own good-

requires a waiver from the state- a court order! Of course when dealing with

your child in your home this is different, but how different from the parents

who are arrested for locking their child in a closet or " cage " and restricting

their access to food? Slippery slope... and I don't think there is any one size

fits all answer for this problem.

Personally I would never feel comfortable locking my cabinets- the question was

about a 10 year old, not a toddler or infant. Home is often the only safe,

welcoming place for our children- and I could never deprive my child of that-

supervision and reminders have helped for my son. He also likes tennis and

swimming to stay active, although swimming was a hard sell since he was

initially afraid of the water (he's 11). However, I think the water has had a

calming effect on him, it is low impact, noncompetitive and now he loves it! We

got him an adult sized swim mask to keep the water out of his nose since he

complained about that. His anxiety medication is what makes him feel " hungry "

all the time, but it has helped him so much and he is much happier than he was

before- so we will deal with this side effect.

Thank you Marilyn for some well thought out and helpful advice. I don't think

padlocks would do anything but make a person feel like they were being punished

and lived in a prison. Certainly wouldn't do anything to help change eating

habits and improve self-control and learn to enjoy healthy foods. Definitely

won't help make the changes needed to help our kids be able to live

independently someday.

Carolyn- I am sorry but your comment added nothing to conversation.

Ponzio-nobody cares if you never had weight issues all your life- what the

heck does that have to with anything, unless you are saying you are skinny

because you padlock your cabinets and fridge? Sounds to me like you were

attacking Marilyn for admitting she has had weight problems in her life...talk

about unfriendly!!

P.S. I am really very friendly lol

Is there an ignore function on this forum? JK ;P

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

That's a great idea! My son loves to cook - so now if I get him the right cookbooks, he can also learn the nutrition - without even knowing he's learning anything!!

Thanks!

Estevan, SK

Canada

-- Re: My son's weight problems> > Â > I really empathize with your situation. My son was also skinny and has now > become overweight. A lot of it has to do with the minimal physical activity. He > wants to just do gaming during his free time. > > > Here's what I've done: I have him watch Dr. Oz with me. I know it's a crazy > idea, but it works. For him, it has to make sense. Dr. Oz has a lot of advice on > weight management and the dangers of sugar, etc. He also shows images of what > happens in the body when we consume x, y or z. I think for many Aspies, things > have to make sense for them in order for them to feel motivated. > > > I take him on long walks and let him talk to me about his special interests. He > love to talk about things until my face turns blue so this gives him a chance > to do that and I feel like we're at least getting him a workout. We have lots of > hills so it's great. > > > I have made some rules. They are predictable and non negotiable. Desert is only > allowed once on Saturday and once on Sunday. It's not anything he wants (which > it used to be). Instead of ice cream, I get him a frozen yogurt with a topping. > That sort of thing. I also will make him desert at home. > > > Before he starts a meal, he drinks water. This gives him a sense that he's > fuller. I don't give him any food until he's had one or two servings of veggies. > Once those are out of the way, he can eat. He likes to eat a lot of food too. He > eats more than I do. I've heard there are some vitamins out there that regulate > blood sugar....but I can't think of what they are. > > > Not everything I said may be helpful, but I hope at least something is. Best of > luck to you and your son.>

[Guest guest]

As someone said earlier - too many posts are starting to sound

angry.  That may not be the way they are meant, but that is the way

they are coming through.  How about everyone takes some time to

relax, have a drink of their favourite beverage, and learn to let

things go a little more.  We all have days when we aren't good at

saying what we mean and/or understanding what others are saying.

Please respond to the message without making personal remarks about

others.

[moderator]

[Guest guest]

Hi Dorothy,Thank you for understanding what I was trying to say, and articulating it far better than I. I admit that weight and food are very much hot button topics for me--if one hasn't struggled with it all your life, one really can't have a concept of the difficulty and emotional mine field that food issues can be. It always makes me a bit vehement to hear of someone suggesting locking food away from a child is a solution to weight issues--that teaches the child nothing but deprivation and in equality. As you so well stated, it teaches them nothing about making healthy choices or to care about their health or bodies. People who have never had weight issues or food issues really do not understand. They think it's just about self-control, and I can

assure you it is so much more complicated than that. It's like saying No to a child is negative, whereas re-directing them to a more positive situation is a positive. Same end result, different path and different emotional outcome.I like the suggestion someone had about teaching their child to cook--learning to cook was one of the ways I learned about nutrition and healthy eating. (My mom was rather clueless in both departments--I didn't know vegetables had seasons until I went to college ;-) Cooking is not only a great way to learn nutrition and portion control, it also does wonder for their math skills. My kids love to cook--and are far more likely to try new foods if they were involved in picking them out and making them. Obviously the baseline is eating healthy and moderate exercise. But again--sounds simple on

paper, isn't always easy to execute, as the original posting mom mentioned. It's a very complex situation, and complicated even farther by our special kids other issues (sensory et al). My son is thin but has a bit of a budda tummy because he isn't very athletic (both my twins are hypotonic) and isn't very good at team sports. So he'd rather read or play lego or do more in-the-house things. It's a constant battle for us to find physical things for both our twins (she's not a big fan either). We try to take walks as a family, we do Wii Fit or DanceDance Revolution together, whatever we can to sneak in 15 minutes here and there.Thank you again, Dorothy--I appreciated all your input and most esp. your understanding. I try not to attack any person on a personal level (although I will attack an idea i find faulty) but I don't always seem offered the same consideration. I'm actually very

friendly :-) unless I've been attacked and am in defense mode. Unfortunately quite often people who have never struggled with weight issues have a holier-than-thou attitude about those of us who do. MarilynTo:

autism-aspergers Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 7:04 PMSubject: Re: My son's weight problems

I am in a very similar situation- my picky, hops around all day child has begun to calm down and actually *like* to eat and is now chubby.

Of course we all know that giving in to meltdowns isn't helpful- but when you are talking about a child who is crying he is hungry vs. a child crying they want a toy, there is a definite difference. As a healthcare professional I can tell you that to get permission to lock cabinets and restrict a person's access, their "right" to their closet, bathroom, food, etc.- even for their own good- requires a waiver from the state- a court order! Of course when dealing with your child in your home this is different, but how different from the parents who are arrested for locking their child in a closet or "cage" and restricting their access to food? Slippery slope... and I don't think there is any one size fits all answer for this problem.

Personally I would never feel comfortable locking my cabinets- the question was about a 10 year old, not a toddler or infant. Home is often the only safe, welcoming place for our children- and I could never deprive my child of that- supervision and reminders have helped for my son. He also likes tennis and swimming to stay active, although swimming was a hard sell since he was initially afraid of the water (he's 11). However, I think the water has had a calming effect on him, it is low impact, noncompetitive and now he loves it! We got him an adult sized swim mask to keep the water out of his nose since he complained about that. His anxiety medication is what makes him feel "hungry" all the time, but it has helped him so much and he is much happier than he was before- so we will deal with this side effect.

Thank you Marilyn for some well thought out and helpful advice. I don't think padlocks would do anything but make a person feel like they were being punished and lived in a prison. Certainly wouldn't do anything to help change eating habits and improve self-control and learn to enjoy healthy foods. Definitely won't help make the changes needed to help our kids be able to live independently someday.

Carolyn- I am sorry but your comment added nothing to conversation.

Ponzio-nobody cares if you never had weight issues all your life- what the heck does that have to with anything, unless you are saying you are skinny because you padlock your cabinets and fridge? Sounds to me like you were attacking Marilyn for admitting she has had weight problems in her life...talk about unfriendly!!

P.S. I am really very friendly lol

Is there an ignore function on this forum? JK ;P

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Who you the comment cop? I don't know which one was " added nothing to

the conversation " as you have said.

But it is ok to ream for her comments, okkkaaa.

Carolyn

dathomas74 wrote:

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>

>

>

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> Carolyn- I am sorry but your comment added nothing to conversation.

>

> Ponzio-nobody cares if you never had weight issues all your life-

> what the heck does that have to with anything, unless you are saying

> you are skinny because you padlock your cabinets and fridge? Sounds to

> me like you were attacking Marilyn for admitting she has had weight

> problems in her life...talk about unfriendly!!

>

> P.S. I am really very friendly lol

>

> Is there an ignore function on this forum? JK ;P

>

> Dorothy

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>