Guest guest Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Is there a way that you could get somone into the home on a part time basis so you could get out just for a few hours? You would come back after these few hours and be able to handle the different situations in a new light. Simmel >From: mamajacqui@... >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers >To: LBDcaregivers >Subject: Re: HELP!!! >Date: Thu, 7 Oct 2004 22:04:49 EDT > > >Annie > >I will be watching for the replies you get because I am in the same boat. >My >Mom has been going downhill fast for the last few months. I am considering >Hospice. Mom, like your Mom, is complaining about pains all over her body. >Last night it was in her head and tonight is it everywhere. > >My brother and I have been talking about a nursing home but would really >like >to keep her home if possible. Unlike you, I am alone in taking care of >her. >My kids all have families of their own and help when they can. My brothers >both live in other towns and can't come too often. So as you can see I am >going to be reading the comments you get. Maybe they will help me make the >final >decision that I have to make also. > >God Bless you and your family. You will be in my prayers tonight. >Jacqui > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Annie and Jacque, While it is a hard decision, there are some good things about a nh for LBD patients. They have a much more structured life and that is a good thing for them. I could never keep Mom at home and have the same structure as she had once she was in the nh.. I was alone in caring for her and Annie like you my kids helped but had families of their own. It does pay to find the best place you can get her into. I once heard to find a place where the staff all liked their work. The other thing I had to remember is that I had to adjust some too. If Mom did not like the schedule, I use to adjust for her. The nh in all likelihood will ask her to adjust some. It was hard to give up some of the control that I knew would work better with Mom, because all the patients need some special things. While I did not choose the best place for Mom, I thought I could move her if I did not like it. Well, it is harder to move them than you would think. I was at the nh at least once a day and 2 times a day if my daughter could not go. You must become an advocate for your Mom if the nh is doing things you would not like. They wanted to use drugs on Mom and I fought the nh she was in constantly about this. Mom could not tolerate drugs much at all. They really came to understand I was right after they took her off stuff I would not let them use. She actually did better without drugs. Most nh homes today are not what our parents think of when they remember the negative connotation that use to be. Like everyone else said, as caregiver, you must take care of you first, so you can take care of them. And there is nothing wrong with getting whatever help you need. Lots of hugs. Donna R Mom died Oct. '02 at 88. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 At 09:04 AM 10/8/2004, you wrote: >Is there a way that you could get somone into the home on a part time basis >so you could get out just for a few hours? You would come back after these >few hours and be able to handle the different situations in a new light. Just speaking from my own perspective, I find that time off just increases the crash when I have to come back here. Because we've always been the Disaster Family, I find myself wondering what huge problem came up while I was gone, who's done what, and how hard will it be to fix it? All the good feeling I've gotten by getting away, just fades as I walk up the stairs. I've gotten to the point where I get out only to do errands because it's simply time off, it's not fun. It's just breathing space. I don't dare have a lot of fun because I fear I'll pay a lot for it. Yesterday I had a garage sale and did have some fun. Last night both my parents fell down, into a very small space. And they refused to let me call anyone to help get them up. They both weigh nearly 200 lbs. It was not fun. Last night I told them I couldn't do it anymore. dargie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2004 Report Share Posted October 10, 2004 At 08:25 PM 10/10/2004, you wrote: >dargie i can relate to your feeling of what has happened while i was gone i >too have that dread feeling about dad not with donnie necessarily but with >the sitters, as dad NEVER asks for anything. but i am so proud of you >for >telling them that you couldnt do it anymore i can imagine though that >was the >most difficult thing you had to do i praise you for your strength of >saying that, and i hug you for the sadness you feel in saying that as >well, i >hope that your parets can come up with something that is acceptable to >you ad >them . take care dargie, hugs, sharon m >a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!! >laughter is a breath of fresh air! >1c3318d.jpg Thank you, darlin' Since then I've systematically been made to feel like I'm in the wrong for wanting to find them a good nursing home by everyone from my parents to the people who run the home services. I promised to try adult daycare for a while, but given that my father takes every opportunity to sneak around behind my back doing the things I've begged him not to do, I don't know that's going to work out. We shall see. d. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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