Guest guest Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Hi Walt, well I am even more glad for you that you do have one sister who is on your side. You are right on the money about family being a problem to other members of this group. I am lucky. My sister and I are both on the same page with respect to mum and we both want to do whatever will help her live as comfortably as possible for the rest of her life. If she or I had to battle with family also I think it would mean the looney bin for us for sure! You mentioned that your mum is antisocial. Was she always that way? I ask because mum is becoming more and more antisocial herself, which is really different from the way she used to be. I know a lot of it is because of her " voices " which we call her crew, and the things they tell her. She has become very paranoid over the last year or so. Of course it wasn't until we found out about LBD that her behaviour began to make sense. We have both made suggestions about mum joining in activities, but she always has a reason why she can't. Mum is also convinced that her money is being given away. Both my sister and I have joint POA for health care and finances for mum, but as long as she is still able to sign her name, we ask her to make out whatever cheques she wants to write. My sister takes her to the bank on a regular basis so she can get her account book updated and take out some spending money. This always makes her feel better, but then the crew start thanking her for the money my sister has given them (which of course she hasn't). Its a tough one. Thankfully, mum is really happy where she is. She has a lot of her own furniture in her room and her pictures on her walls and it really feels like home to her now. She really doesn't remember where she lived before this, but like your mum thinking she is still in her old neighbourhood, still thinks she owns the cottage that was sold many years ago. Some days are good, like the past couple of weeks, while others are like a nightmare. All you can do is roll with the tide, and have a good sense of humour about stuff. Take care, . P.S., have you considered having your sister read some of the posts in this group? Maybe if she sees some similar symptoms and behaviours, it may just open her up to the fact that there really is something going on with her mum. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 I agree with ; you ARE lucky that you have one sister who supports what you are doing! You are even luckier in that you are the one in charge. Believe me, it is really tough when the two people who have POA are (1) the person who always has to be in charge of everything but will not even take her mother to the doctor twice a year as requested by the doctor and (2) someone who is still somewhat in denial and in any case, never likes to " make waves " so just goes along with what the other sibling says! Even worse, the person who is the 24/7 caregiver (ME) has no say whatsoever. Fortunately I am not averse to the occasional white lie and outright trickery in order to do what must be done!!! carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 walt says What is really bizarre about this whole situation is that up until last year I was not only preparing income taxes for my mother, but I was also preparing income taxes for my sister that was complaining about not having a say in my mothers accounts. After my sister caused me grief I refused to do her income taxes. She has no financial sense and have never prepared an income tax in her life. I have been doing my parents income taxes since before my father passed away over 11 years ago. walt, i cant say i blame you for not wanting to take care of her taxes for her, after all the idea is to help each oter out, and if it is onesided than you shouldnt do her taxes anymore. i cant say i blam eyou at all,. you are doing right dont let anyone tell you that you arent. your concern is your mom's care. so you just continue doing things you are just like you are and keep smiling, we are here for you anytime, hugs sharon m a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!! laughter is a breath of fresh air! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi Walt, it sounds like you have things well in hand for your mum financilly. Keep doing what you are doing because, as you said, it will be up to your sister to prove you are misusing your mums funds. Since you are tracking and paper-trailing everything, she won't be able to make her claim stick. Best not invlve her in the finacial thing at all. If she is vindictive as you say, you will only get problems out of it. You have enough going on looking after your mums wellness without having to also worry if your sister is abusing her signing authority and wiping out the bank account. Hang in there, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.