Courage

[Guest guest]

Dear Courage-

When you mentioned the situations that you and your mom

went through, I remembered each one of them, too. I

remember your stories, the good ones and the struggles.

Us caregivers know in our hearts what we have gone through

and also know we would do it all over again if time turned

back.

You have been a wonderful daughter. You have come so

far in this journey, and as always, I am proud of you.

Good to see a post from you. Just today I was wondering

how your health is - even wanted to phone you.

Many hugs to you, up North-

Sandie

-- Re: disappearance of friends

It seems that when the chips are down this is when we discover who our

real friends and family are.

I had an interesting experience last week. I've been ill on and off for

a while now and haven't been as frequent in seeing my mom. While I was

at the NH with mom my aunt came to visit. She turned to me and said

something like " oh, its nice to see that you've finally come to see your

mom " and my dad chimed in " yes, she has to see her

eventually " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ignored them both and instead starting humming with mom. However,

inside I was angry. Who does my aunt think she is? She never once

lifted a finger to help my mom and visiting her now in the NH is nice

but a little late in the game. Where was she when mom was still with us

mentally and could still talk? Where was she and other family members

when I'd have mom's feces on my hands trying to clean her up? Where

were they when mom was having panic attacks? I held mom's hand and

hugged her - did they? Where were they when mom would fall and I'd have

to somehow get her up off the floor by myself? Yet, whenever they came

over I knew they were sitting in judgment of how clean the house was and

how neat mom looked - the old dog and pony show!!!!!!!!!!

As for my dad, I'm used to his comments. Seems like I just can't do

enough in his eyes.

At the end of the day I know that my mom appreciated all that I did for

her and that I tried to make her as comfortable and as happy as I knew

how. That is what sustains me today and to hell with people who just

don't get! Let them live in their ignorance because we all get old and

they will see first hand what we have gone through. I pray that they

have people around them that were kinder than they were.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Courage