Dog Whisperer

[Guest guest]

I watched a few episodes of DW. It was AMAZING. But what I'm not sure of his how

to apply it with a near-20 year old defiant, stubborn, apathetic and brilliant

young man.

[Guest guest]

Pay attention to how he deals with the aggressive ones. His body

language, eye contact, attitude, and when to react and how quickly he

reacts to aggression is all important. Remember aggression and defiance

are really the same emotion measured at different levels.

Humans have two brains, I know many are taught this in their autism

studies, but it is important. See, the underbrain controls autonomic

functions, and it also controls, get this, aggression and anger. Some

call the underbrain the animal brain that the human brain is built

upon. Martial Arts Masters learn to turn off the upper brain and allow

control by the animal brain - and it increases speed and reflexes.

But humans are basically evolved pack animals. Darwin and Christians (I

iz one) aside, humans are basically built on the same chassis as many

animals in our world. We may be drastically different in form and

function, but when it comes right down to it, we follow the pack

leader. We see it in every aspect of our society, from bosses in

businesses, to men being husbands and taking charge in an emergency and

how any (successful) group eventually picks a leader.

Then I saw two television shows that illustrated the same concepts in

two drastically different - but similar - ways.

The Dog Whisperer deals with the underbrain. The action/reaction

fight/flight mentality that we all have to deal with both in ourselves

and in people we know. The dog whisperer knows that dogs do not have

much of a frontal lobe and always live in the moment. He does what he

does by being the leader of the pack, taking control of it, and

directing it - in the moment.

The second show is Super Nanny. Not the silly American version but the

one with Jo Frost. She does almost the same thing!

She quickly steps in and becomes the pack leader, and then uses the

parents ability to think and live out of the moment to teach them to be

the pack leaders and take over after she has established a working pack.

In both cases you have families (doggie or human) who are disfunctional,

out of control, and out of balance, and she (and he) brings them back

into balance.

As for how it applies, I can only point out that watching it with an eye

to the behavior of both Milano, and Frost in how to handle aggression

taught me a lot about how to organize, set limits and gain control of a

situation that is clearly out of control.

Hope it helps.

(oh, just as an addendum, there is a new show on called " Worlds

Strictest Parents' " that also uses the same basic method to get the kids

under control.)

http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/worlds_strictest_parents/series.jhtml

> I watched a few episodes of DW. It was AMAZING. But what I'm not sure of his

how to apply it with a near-20 year old defiant, stubborn, apathetic and

brilliant young man.

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[Guest guest]

This is what I take away from Dog Whisperer as it relates to humans, especially

humans in charge (the pack leaders): ATTUTUDE of the leaders is everything. When

the leader is calm, confident, pays attention to the message of need behind the

behavior, the leader (parent, pack-leader) can help the person (child, pack,

whatever).

A fundamental question for the leader to ask him/herself is this: Do I think

this person loves being miserable? Did this person wake up one day and decide to

have the people in his world not like him? WHY or what real needs are not being

met? What is the emotional message? Often, it's that the person needs and

desperately wants stability and is unable to create that within him/herself.

This is the leader's job.

It's important to remember that people on the spectrum have different reactions

to sensory input. Just because they don't tell us, " Oh, Mother and Father,

dearest, the fan sound is like a pencil being drilled through my ears; the

lights are like needles being shoved in my eyes; the sounds of everyone talking

at the same time is literally ripping my head apart. I cannot listen,

concentrate, follow any directions, and I hurt and am in misery because you do

not make it stop. In fact, you force me to be in this environment, and it hurts

me. "

The Dog Whisperer takes out all of the morality and damaging shame/guilt of

behavior and the goal is to help the dog/person to create a stable, balanced

group. Compassion without feeling sorry is the key. Living in the moment is

another key. Breaking things down into tiny pieces is another key. Being highly

aware of the changes and non-verbal behaviors is huge. Sometimes it's a flick of

an eye that tells us things are not OK. Most of these kids have been shamed,

guilted, forced, demanded of for years in the school systems because one of the

goals of the school system is crowd control. Pushing control over people this

way instead of reading the behavior (this is why one-on-one works for therapy)

of each individual and responding to those behaviors with compassion and

understanding is the only way to work with groups of people and keep it

mentally/emotionally healthy for all. By the time these kids come home, they

have had it. Their needs are the same as everyone else's. Their abilities to

meet and/or communicate those need is very limited compared to their typical

peers. The don't come with a manual. Working with them in the way they need is

not something that most parents/teachers have been trained to do. They cannot

tell us in words that most parents/teachers understand. If they could, they

would tell us why they are not happy, why nervous, why sad, why shutting down,

why fighting back, etc.

Keep watching Dog Whisperer, listen to what is said by Caesar. There is a wealth

of compassion and living in the moment and being present to the " identified

patient " (the dog in this case) AND the humans in the room. Caesar models

excellent behavior and it's perfect for parents of all kinds of children.

Priscilla

> >

> > I watched a few episodes of DW. It was AMAZING. But what I'm not sure of his

how to apply it with a near-20 year old defiant, stubborn, apathetic and

brilliant young man.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is what I take away from Dog Whisperer as it relates to humans, especially

humans in charge (the pack leaders): ATTUTUDE of the leaders is everything. When

the leader is calm, confident, pays attention to the message of need behind the

behavior, the leader (parent, pack-leader) can help the person (child, pack,

whatever).

A fundamental question for the leader to ask him/herself is this: Do I think

this person loves being miserable? Did this person wake up one day and decide to

have the people in his world not like him? WHY or what real needs are not being

met? What is the emotional message? Often, it's that the person needs and

desperately wants stability and is unable to create that within him/herself.

This is the leader's job.

It's important to remember that people on the spectrum have different reactions

to sensory input. Just because they don't tell us, " Oh, Mother and Father,

dearest, the fan sound is like a pencil being drilled through my ears; the

lights are like needles being shoved in my eyes; the sounds of everyone talking

at the same time is literally ripping my head apart. I cannot listen,

concentrate, follow any directions, and I hurt and am in misery because you do

not make it stop. In fact, you force me to be in this environment, and it hurts

me. "

The Dog Whisperer takes out all of the morality and damaging shame/guilt of

behavior and the goal is to help the dog/person to create a stable, balanced

group. Compassion without feeling sorry is the key. Living in the moment is

another key. Breaking things down into tiny pieces is another key. Being highly

aware of the changes and non-verbal behaviors is huge. Sometimes it's a flick of

an eye that tells us things are not OK. Most of these kids have been shamed,

guilted, forced, demanded of for years in the school systems because one of the

goals of the school system is crowd control. Pushing control over people this

way instead of reading the behavior (this is why one-on-one works for therapy)

of each individual and responding to those behaviors with compassion and

understanding is the only way to work with groups of people and keep it

mentally/emotionally healthy for all. By the time these kids come home, they

have had it. Their needs are the same as everyone else's. Their abilities to

meet and/or communicate those need is very limited compared to their typical

peers. The don't come with a manual. Working with them in the way they need is

not something that most parents/teachers have been trained to do. They cannot

tell us in words that most parents/teachers understand. If they could, they

would tell us why they are not happy, why nervous, why sad, why shutting down,

why fighting back, etc.

Keep watching Dog Whisperer, listen to what is said by Caesar. There is a wealth

of compassion and living in the moment and being present to the " identified

patient " (the dog in this case) AND the humans in the room. Caesar models

excellent behavior and it's perfect for parents of all kinds of children.

Priscilla

> >

> > I watched a few episodes of DW. It was AMAZING. But what I'm not sure of his

how to apply it with a near-20 year old defiant, stubborn, apathetic and

brilliant young man.

> >

>