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My dd is having a really hard time at school this year. Socially

things aren't bad. She has some friends at school, mostly other kids

on the spectrum. Which is fine with me, they can relate better.

Outside of school she is still isolated. She is very stressed and

anxious which is causing problems across the board. Her anxiety is

keeping her from a lot of things that she used to love. Like her

horseback riding, which has always been a major

passion/perseveration. All she wants to do is be at home and retreat

into the world of Japanese Anime and Manga.

Her migraines, which I think are stressed induced have kept her out

of school for over a week. She went back yesterday and had a rough

time of it. Her resource room teacher asked to see my dd's binder

from her foods class and refused, she refused to do any work,

and actually hid under a table in the resource room for about 20 min.

Now this behavior is not unusual for home, it is highly unusual for

school. Her teacher was frustrated by all this but on the other hand

was just happy she was back at school. We both know that something

is going on but for whatever reason, she just cannot articulate the

problem.

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How old is your daughter? I've noticed that a lot of our kids start

having increased anxiety at around 9-10 yrs old, and again in Jr. High

-- a lot of this is due to hormonal changes. In the group I run I've

been getting a lot of calls from parents who's kids' anxiety has gotten

to the point where it really interferes with school and their overall

enjoyment of life. I haven't been keeping notes but I know that a

whole lot of the kids who are put on antidepressants or stimulants start

doing much better -- decreased anxiety, better coping, improved social

skills (due to less anxiety), and better learning. Meds certainly

helped for my son -- he wouldn't be in school without them. Also we

really, really need to watch our kids for depression. It's quite common

and can have disastrous affects. Not trying to be melodramatic -- we've

had several higher functioning girls & boys in our group in the hospital

for suicide attempts.

Medication is a hard choice to make. It's not the only answer, is not

right for everyone, is not a cure-all. I'm not laying any guilt trips

on anyone. I just want people to know that anxiety & depression are

more than just something that makes our kids hard to handle at home and

in class. (This is not directed at you Carol -- I've talked to a number

of parents this year who aren't really clueing in on how miserable their

child is and that they really need to look at all their options and take

anxiety & depression seriously.) Also, many many Drs and mental health

care folks don't know how to recognize or treat anxiety & depression in

our kids. If your Dr pooh-poohs your concerns, find someone who knows

mental health & autism.

Good luck Carol. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who's looking out

for her and working hard to take care of her.

-- Cassie

carol379 wrote:

> My dd is having a really hard time at school this year. Socially

> things aren't bad. She has some friends at school, mostly other kids

> on the spectrum. Which is fine with me, they can relate better.

> Outside of school she is still isolated. She is very stressed and

> anxious which is causing problems across the board. Her anxiety is

> keeping her from a lot of things that she used to love. Like her

> horseback riding, which has always been a major

> passion/perseveration. All she wants to do is be at home and retreat

> into the world of Japanese Anime and Manga.

>

> Her migraines, which I think are stressed induced have kept her out

> of school for over a week. She went back yesterday and had a rough

> time of it. Her resource room teacher asked to see my dd's binder

> from her foods class and refused, she refused to do any work,

> and actually hid under a table in the resource room for about 20 min.

>

> Now this behavior is not unusual for home, it is highly unusual for

> school. Her teacher was frustrated by all this but on the other hand

> was just happy she was back at school. We both know that something

> is going on but for whatever reason, she just cannot articulate the

> problem.

>

>

--

-- Cassie Zupke

Director, Open Doors Now

Click the link below to join our new Open Doors Now group information site to

access all our group news, calendar, forums, and current autism information.

http://www.bigtent.com/hosted/opndrs/invitation?hosted_key=a46063592584264652878\

e483a3a1cf2

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Share on other sites

How old is your daughter? I've noticed that a lot of our kids start

having increased anxiety at around 9-10 yrs old, and again in Jr. High

-- a lot of this is due to hormonal changes. In the group I run I've

been getting a lot of calls from parents who's kids' anxiety has gotten

to the point where it really interferes with school and their overall

enjoyment of life. I haven't been keeping notes but I know that a

whole lot of the kids who are put on antidepressants or stimulants start

doing much better -- decreased anxiety, better coping, improved social

skills (due to less anxiety), and better learning. Meds certainly

helped for my son -- he wouldn't be in school without them. Also we

really, really need to watch our kids for depression. It's quite common

and can have disastrous affects. Not trying to be melodramatic -- we've

had several higher functioning girls & boys in our group in the hospital

for suicide attempts.

Medication is a hard choice to make. It's not the only answer, is not

right for everyone, is not a cure-all. I'm not laying any guilt trips

on anyone. I just want people to know that anxiety & depression are

more than just something that makes our kids hard to handle at home and

in class. (This is not directed at you Carol -- I've talked to a number

of parents this year who aren't really clueing in on how miserable their

child is and that they really need to look at all their options and take

anxiety & depression seriously.) Also, many many Drs and mental health

care folks don't know how to recognize or treat anxiety & depression in

our kids. If your Dr pooh-poohs your concerns, find someone who knows

mental health & autism.

Good luck Carol. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who's looking out

for her and working hard to take care of her.

-- Cassie

carol379 wrote:

> My dd is having a really hard time at school this year. Socially

> things aren't bad. She has some friends at school, mostly other kids

> on the spectrum. Which is fine with me, they can relate better.

> Outside of school she is still isolated. She is very stressed and

> anxious which is causing problems across the board. Her anxiety is

> keeping her from a lot of things that she used to love. Like her

> horseback riding, which has always been a major

> passion/perseveration. All she wants to do is be at home and retreat

> into the world of Japanese Anime and Manga.

>

> Her migraines, which I think are stressed induced have kept her out

> of school for over a week. She went back yesterday and had a rough

> time of it. Her resource room teacher asked to see my dd's binder

> from her foods class and refused, she refused to do any work,

> and actually hid under a table in the resource room for about 20 min.

>

> Now this behavior is not unusual for home, it is highly unusual for

> school. Her teacher was frustrated by all this but on the other hand

> was just happy she was back at school. We both know that something

> is going on but for whatever reason, she just cannot articulate the

> problem.

>

>

--

-- Cassie Zupke

Director, Open Doors Now

Click the link below to join our new Open Doors Now group information site to

access all our group news, calendar, forums, and current autism information.

http://www.bigtent.com/hosted/opndrs/invitation?hosted_key=a46063592584264652878\

e483a3a1cf2

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Share on other sites

Hi. My daughter really struggled with school. She coped ok with it

while she was in there (a few incidents of aggression though) but as

soon as she came out the school doors she would kick and punch me,

hit her baby brother and run off. Other parents used to have to help

me catch her before she ran into the road. All her built up stress

from the school day would just erupt the moment she got out. She was

the same in the mornings before school, we were always about half an

hour late.

I made the decision after 2 years of school to home educate (I am not

suggesting you do this, not everyone has the choice I know, it was a

personal decision).

She now goes to Brownies, cheerleading, ice skating club and has

skating lessons during the day when all the other kids are at

school. She enjoys the 'after school' activities now as she isn't so

exhausted and stressed out. She still doesn't really talk to any of

the other children at her clubs, and I wouldn't even say she enjoys

their company but she enjoys the activities. She has a few friends

but for just having a few friends is a huge achievement.

Interestingly though, her friends all have siblings with special

needs so are obvioulsy, already more accepting of her and don't give

up on her just because she won't always talk to them. They take the

lead and include her, which a lot of other children won't do with her

because they often get nothing back from her.

What I am trying to say is - At school she was expected to be well

behaved and fit in with the other children and the school routine,

She basically had to put aside the real her and 'act normal' for the

duration of school. The stress of doing so was so great that as soon

as school was over for the day, it was like taking the lid of a

boiling pot, she would totally melt down and go nuts for the rest of

the day. She was so exhausted by this, so was I!

Maybe your daughter is at a stage where she needs to rest from social

activites for a while and will get back into them when she feels more

able to cope with it all.

.

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I just

> feel so helpless and that is a horrible feeling. Carol

yes carol this is of so much true and can be of more emotionally

crippling than life itself. when one feels helpless they often feel

hopeless as well. it is of a vicious cycle of depression that just

cycles into full circles in the life of me. It is of like being on a

roller coaster that never stops it just goes up and down and jerks you

to the left and right over and over and even when you can see what

should be of the end of the ride it just zooms past never letting you

off,the only way out is of to jump at least that is of what it seems at

times.... but is not healthy or logically correct things to do.

sondra

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I just

> feel so helpless and that is a horrible feeling. Carol

yes carol this is of so much true and can be of more emotionally

crippling than life itself. when one feels helpless they often feel

hopeless as well. it is of a vicious cycle of depression that just

cycles into full circles in the life of me. It is of like being on a

roller coaster that never stops it just goes up and down and jerks you

to the left and right over and over and even when you can see what

should be of the end of the ride it just zooms past never letting you

off,the only way out is of to jump at least that is of what it seems at

times.... but is not healthy or logically correct things to do.

sondra

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