Re: what to say to kids who say mean things???

December 20, 2007

,

I understand your feelings. Remember mean kids are mean to other

children as well as our children. Many times these kids have

problems of their own, and they take their frustration out on their

peers, it's just that our kids are 'easy picking'.

The most important thing to do is to build confidence in your child.

Stress the wonderful person she is, all that she can do, regardless

of whether you think she understands or not, your tone will get

through.

As for the other children, I would start by telling them wouldn't be

great if you were helpful rather than mean.

There are books that explain to children about autism, if you need to

speak with her class at achool later on in the future.

Don't let these children's comments hurt your feelings, you know what

a blessing and a gift your daughter is, she will never be as mean as

these kids are!

Nagla

>

> What do you say to a child who is poking fun at your child? I know

this is the beginning for Paisley, but does she know they are poking

fun at her? I have had two kids in the last week come up and tell

her she is gross for wearing a diaper...because it is poking out of

the top of her pants...or I am picking her up and it shows...or they

are trying to play with her but she is running around or hitting the

toy or you know not playing with the toy in the style it was

fashioned for...so they get aggravated..or that she can't carry on a

conversation...of course these aren't kids in her PPCD classroom, one

was in a dr's office and one was at my older twin daughter's

school...but, I see the beginning...and I see that the comments from

children are coming at her...and it is already making my heart ache

because I don't know how to handle this situation...do you think she

is aware of what they are saying? I know she can hear them, but does

she know they are being mean? I don't

> want her to hurt...it sucks...I want to protect her from the mean

world...how????

>

> ---------------------------------

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Try it now.

>

December 21, 2007

first of all, get used to it from kids and adults.

you have options when a kid says that's gross... you can reply back - no it's

not. she needs them so she won't make a mess. a mess is what's gross. one

day, she won't need them - just like you don't need them now. (reserved for kids

who are generally nice but just not educated about kids like ours) OR you can

give them the back off kid you're a jerk look (reserved for bullies because they

usually do back off when they get that look). OR you can look at the kids

parent(s) and ask them why on earth they are raising their children to be cruel

to those who are faced with challenges every day? the kid usually runs back to

the parent(s) and you don't hear much from them after that. Yep - i've done all

three.

and then relish it when the days come like we had today: standing on line for

an hour to buy car tags, first 15 minutes felt like an eternity with screams and

let's get outta here moans, next 15 got used to the idea we might be here for a

while, last 30 minutes great conversation with the two behind us - paramedic &

special ed teacher (who even had a smiley face sticker to give to us!)... lots

of people around us listened to us discuss how well behaved he really is, how

well is really is doing considering his diagnosis, laughing at him stooping down

to get a better look across the room through all of the people's legs, how

easily amused he is with a piece of paper to roll, etc. etc. all the while 3

typical kids were behaving like wild animals. the few little outbursts we had

were nothing to compare to the other 3's bratty, disruptive behavior! I was

very proud that my Autisic son outshined 3 typical kids in a crowded, new

environment with flourescent lights flickering.

I think sometimes we can get caught up noticing the negative responses from

kids and adults that we sometimes fail to recognize (and relish and remember)

the good ones.

you can never protect them 100% from being mistreated. look at yourself -

you're feeling crappy because of some kid who doesn't know better and you'll

probably never see again. look at sosa and all the others who are getting hit

from professionals who do know better. you can't protect you from it, you can't

protect her from it. you just deal with it the best you can when it comes. and

you hug your baby every single night and tell her you love her just the way she

is.

kelly dawson wrote:

What do you say to a child who is poking fun at your child? I know

this is the beginning for Paisley, but does she know they are poking fun at her?

I have had two kids in the last week come up and tell her she is gross for

wearing a diaper...because it is poking out of the top of her pants...or I am

picking her up and it shows...or they are trying to play with her but she is

running around or hitting the toy or you know not playing with the toy in the

style it was fashioned for...so they get aggravated..or that she can't carry on

a conversation...of course these aren't kids in her PPCD classroom, one was in a

dr's office and one was at my older twin daughter's school...but, I see the

beginning...and I see that the comments from children are coming at her...and it

is already making my heart ache because I don't know how to handle this

situation...do you think she is aware of what they are saying? I know she can

hear them, but does she know they are being mean? I

don't

want her to hurt...it sucks...I want to protect her from the mean

world...how????

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

December 21, 2007