Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 How old is your son? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:26:06 PMSubject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 He is 12 years old and has Aspergers, but his Psychologist (and my hubs and I) believe that emotionally he is between 5 and 7 years old. Jenn How old is your son? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:26:06 PMSubject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 my 12 yr old son does that but not in relation to school topics, to reminders about chores and when we try to redirect him from bad choices, he explodes and we haven’t found a way to get him calmed down other than to ignore him and we don’t like ignoring the kids. From: R. Tucker Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:32 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics How old is your son? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:26:06 PMSubject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Well, if he's on a 5-7 yr. old level those subjects would not be appropriate for him. This is my Special Ed teacher head talking. He cannot help that he's 12 trapped in a 5-7 yr old brain. He will need to read his content in a developmentally (for him) appropriate level. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:34:25 PMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics He is 12 years old and has Aspergers, but his Psychologist (and my hubs and I) believe that emotionally he is between 5 and 7 years old. Jenn How old is your son? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:26:06 PMSubject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 , That is what I was thinking. What level do u suggest he should be on in history and science? Or should he just totally drop those? I know he loves certain science subjects, just not what he has been learning. I know in math he is on about 3rd grade level, and honestly I am not sure he will ever get past that. Language Arts is about 2nd or 3rd grade level. I homeschool him thru an online charter school, and I think some of the material they gave him (history and science) is too hard for him. I have told his school Psychologist this, and he said the most important thing for my son to learn is life skills. Jenn Well, if he's on a 5-7 yr. old level those subjects would not be appropriate for him. This is my Special Ed teacher head talking. He cannot help that he's 12 trapped in a 5-7 yr old brain. He will need to read his content in a developmentally (for him) appropriate level. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:34:25 PMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics He is 12 years old and has Aspergers, but his Psychologist (and my hubs and I) believe that emotionally he is between 5 and 7 years old. Jenn How old is your son? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thu, June 9, 2011 1:26:06 PMSubject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again” and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!” Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again” and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!” Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Ah our sweet ASD kids. they can be SO literal minded. things like "it takes the cake" make them start looking for the cake. ;-)Check to see if they might have CAPD as well (Central Auditory Processing Disorder). Our son does, and it def. affects how he hears. His hearing is fine but its the way his brain processes language. He's esp deficient on the left side (to the point they literally checked the wires during testing, they thought their wires were crossed, turns out its just his wires that are crossed ;-) Just takes a lot of patience and explanations and reassurance. As they get older, it gets somewhat easier. Things that made him crazy at 7 are ok at 10. Until then, just be patient and judicious as necessary. It's a minefield. MarilynTo: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 4:08 PMSubject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 I call it "teaching blue to a blind man". It's so hard to teach what is normally just understood. MarilynTo: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 5:46 AMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the correct response that they should have or say when something happens. From: Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 I call it "teaching blue to a blind man". It's so hard to teach what is normally just understood. MarilynTo: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 5:46 AMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the correct response that they should have or say when something happens. From: Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I was so sad. Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so stop it. See what happens. Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they fight and he says he is not his friend. Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other kids, and the psychologist said " Well he talks AT them not to them. " I thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks right to them like he does to me. I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him a chance to be himself.. I hate that! Carolyn ;o( Angel S See wrote: > > > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. > > *From:* > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > <mailto:autism-aspergers > > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the > logic of what we actually said etc. > > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > *From:* autism-aspergers > [mailto:autism-aspergers ] *On Behalf Of *Jenn > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain > Topics > > > > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or > proportion and get upset. ** > > * > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not > beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill > them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped > the reading. * > > ** > > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* > > ** > > *Thanks! > Jenn* > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I was so sad. Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so stop it. See what happens. Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they fight and he says he is not his friend. Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other kids, and the psychologist said " Well he talks AT them not to them. " I thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks right to them like he does to me. I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him a chance to be himself.. I hate that! Carolyn ;o( Angel S See wrote: > > > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. > > *From:* > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > <mailto:autism-aspergers > > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the > logic of what we actually said etc. > > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > *From:* autism-aspergers > [mailto:autism-aspergers ] *On Behalf Of *Jenn > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain > Topics > > > > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or > proportion and get upset. ** > > * > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not > beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill > them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped > the reading. * > > ** > > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* > > ** > > *Thanks! > Jenn* > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 That's cute looking for cake. I tend to say " You are kidding " when I hear something new, and Lucas says to me very matter of factly, " No Grandma I am not kidding. " He amazes me every day by what he says, of course they all did...all were amazing to me. It is just so wonderful getting to know each child and their uniqueness I think. I have never gotten tired of it since I was a teenage mom, yes at 17. My oldest son is 51 now. Carolyn ;o) marilyn wrote: > > Ah our sweet ASD kids. they can be SO literal minded. things like " it > takes the cake " make them start looking for the cake. ;-) > > Check to see if they might have CAPD as well (Central Auditory > Processing Disorder). Our son does, and it def. affects how he hears. > His hearing is fine but its the way his brain processes language. He's > esp deficient on the left side (to the point they literally checked > the wires during testing, they thought their wires were crossed, turns > out its just his wires that are crossed ;-) > > Just takes a lot of patience and explanations and reassurance. As they > get older, it gets somewhat easier. Things that made him crazy at 7 > are ok at 10. Until then, just be patient and judicious as necessary. > It's a minefield. > > Marilyn > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > *From:* > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Sent:* Thursday, June 9, 2011 4:08 PM > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for > anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be > anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that > moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around > her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her > attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will > say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will > blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we > have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we > actually said etc. > > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I > don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when > bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > *From:* autism-aspergers [mailto: > autism-aspergers ] *On Behalf Of *Jenn > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to > hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the > military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning > about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it > (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely > blow it out or proportion and get upset. ** > * > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did > not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and > kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read > anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about > it, and she stopped the reading. * > * * > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this > way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it > differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* > * * > *Thanks! > Jenn* > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 That's cute looking for cake. I tend to say " You are kidding " when I hear something new, and Lucas says to me very matter of factly, " No Grandma I am not kidding. " He amazes me every day by what he says, of course they all did...all were amazing to me. It is just so wonderful getting to know each child and their uniqueness I think. I have never gotten tired of it since I was a teenage mom, yes at 17. My oldest son is 51 now. Carolyn ;o) marilyn wrote: > > Ah our sweet ASD kids. they can be SO literal minded. things like " it > takes the cake " make them start looking for the cake. ;-) > > Check to see if they might have CAPD as well (Central Auditory > Processing Disorder). Our son does, and it def. affects how he hears. > His hearing is fine but its the way his brain processes language. He's > esp deficient on the left side (to the point they literally checked > the wires during testing, they thought their wires were crossed, turns > out its just his wires that are crossed ;-) > > Just takes a lot of patience and explanations and reassurance. As they > get older, it gets somewhat easier. Things that made him crazy at 7 > are ok at 10. Until then, just be patient and judicious as necessary. > It's a minefield. > > Marilyn > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > *From:* > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Sent:* Thursday, June 9, 2011 4:08 PM > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for > anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be > anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that > moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around > her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her > attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will > say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will > blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we > have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we > actually said etc. > > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I > don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when > bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > *From:* autism-aspergers [mailto: > autism-aspergers ] *On Behalf Of *Jenn > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to > hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the > military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning > about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it > (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely > blow it out or proportion and get upset. ** > * > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did > not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and > kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read > anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about > it, and she stopped the reading. * > * * > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this > way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it > differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* > * * > *Thanks! > Jenn* > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 My son is similar, although not to the same extent. Usually we have to find a way to allow him to do something about whatever is bothering him. With Ben it got better as he got older. I wish that happened with everything.  I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school.�Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just�assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. � I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. � Thanks! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Not all autistic kids lack empathy. In fact, all autisitc kids tend not to be 'typically autistic' in some areas.  Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I was so sad. Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so stop it. See what happens. Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they fight and he says he is not his friend. Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other kids, and the psychologist said "Well he talks AT them not to them." I thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks right to them like he does to me. I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him a chance to be himself.. I hate that! Carolyn ;o( Angel S See wrote: > > > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. > > *From:* > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > <mailto:autism-aspergers > > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing > Certain Topics > > > > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the > logic of what we actually said etc. > > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > *From:* autism-aspergers > [mailto:autism-aspergers ] *On Behalf Of *Jenn > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM > *To:* autism-aspergers > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain > Topics > > > > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or > proportion and get upset. ** > > * > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not > beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill > them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped > the reading. * > > ** > > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* > > ** > > *Thanks! > Jenn* > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 with my daughter who is autistic is really easy and I can teach her that without a problem. getting her brothers and sisters to understand that it takes on average 6 months for her to learn and retain what we are teaching her is another problem. For my son with aspergers, it is another story. If you try to redirect him or explain to him what his words or actions caused he just starts yelling, putting himself down and we all just end up getting frustrated and not accomplishing anything. when we try to go back later the only response we get from him is ok and we have no idea whether he took in what we said. From: marilyn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 4:00 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I call it "teaching blue to a blind man". It's so hard to teach what is normally just understood. Marilyn To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 5:46 AMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the correct response that they should have or say when something happens. From: Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Your son sounds like mine a few years ago. I am not sure if he did learn what we wanted him to because we got through to him or because he eventually figured it out for himself. Some things we are still working on.  with my daughter who is autistic is really easy and I can teach her that without a problem. getting her brothers and sisters to understand that it takes on average 6 months for her to learn and retain what we are teaching her is another problem. For my son with aspergers, it is another story. If you try to redirect him or explain to him what his words or actions caused he just starts yelling, putting himself down and we all just end up getting frustrated and not accomplishing anything. when we try to go back later the only response we get from him is ok and we have no idea whether he took in what we said.  From: marilyn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 4:00 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics   I call it "teaching blue to a blind man". It's so hard to teach what is normally just understood.  Marilyn From: Angel S See To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 5:46 AM Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics  I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the correct response that they should have or say when something happens.  From: Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics   My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!â€Â Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics  I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 He is actually going to be tested for OT soon, thru his online charter school. He has a lot of major sensory issues, and has been regressing since December. I recently found out he is going thru puberty, and some of these kids regress when they do. His sensory issues are so bad, he will not touch anything unless he wears gloves, and if u touch his books or toys, or give him a hug without his permission, he melts down. He says it hurts to touch things, and hurts his skin if people touch him. As far as CAPD, he may have that, but I am not sure that would be what is causing all of his language problems. He has always been very literal, and tends to exaggerate on most everything, and add things to it that he knows was not said, he just assumes it. But again, maybe it is part of CAPD, I don't know much about that type of sensory issue. Jenn Ah our sweet ASD kids. they can be SO literal minded. things like " it takes the cake " make them start looking for the cake. ;-) Check to see if they might have CAPD as well (Central Auditory Processing Disorder). Our son does, and it def. affects how he hears. His hearing is fine but its the way his brain processes language. He's esp deficient on the left side (to the point they literally checked the wires during testing, they thought their wires were crossed, turns out its just his wires that are crossed ;-) Just takes a lot of patience and explanations and reassurance. As they get older, it gets somewhat easier. Things that made him crazy at 7 are ok at 10. Until then, just be patient and judicious as necessary. It's a minefield. Marilyn To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, June 9, 2011 4:08 PM Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again” and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!” Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yeah, is very empathetic, but sometimes he hurts emotionally because of it. Maybe it sounds weird, but sometimes I think he can feel or sense other people's emotions, and that causes a lot of his fears. Jenn My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again” and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!” Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of Jenn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn I think sometimes it must be a stage, a phase. Louie went through this when he was in his tweens and his teens. To this day, violence bothers him but he's learned to re-direct himself to something else (he's 31 now). For a while there, in his late teens, he was convinced that someone was following us in the car to do us harm; he kept looking over his shoulder to check as we went down the road. It took me forever to convince him that just because he saw this in the news didn't mean it was going to happen to us.A lot of the time, the world is a really scary thing to our guys. Because things you can't understand translate to scary, and our guys have a real problem understanding the world and the culture in which they must live. Perhaps it makes it easier to deal with if that fear can be "hitched" to a concrete thing, like slavery or the military or the like. Try letting your son know that because things happened in the past, it doesn't mean they'll happen any more in our day. That it's something he need not worry about, and it's OK to ignore the news completely if it helps him. Will it take repetition out the wazoo? You betcha! But it's kinda our job, innit? Annie, who loves ya annie@...---A person should be like a watch--open-faced, busy hands, well-regulated, and full of good works. --- Roy B. Zuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 That's good I am glad to hear that. My little grandson just ran into me at the store with his mom and when they were leaving he gave me a big hug, I told him thank you I sure needed that hug. And it was True! Sweet child. Carolyn ;o) Riley wrote: > > > Not all autistic kids lack empathy. In fact, all autisitc kids tend > not to be 'typically autistic' in some areas. > > > > > > >> >> >> Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but >> have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, >> his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three >> kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over >> so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture >> and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I >> was so sad. >> >> Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him >> when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so >> stop it. See what happens. >> >> Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas >> has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side >> of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is >> because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might >> have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you >> fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and >> thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and >> then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, >> but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. >> >> I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the >> list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his >> feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about >> anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they >> fight and he says he is not his friend. >> >> Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on >> that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other >> kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves >> other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other >> kids, and the psychologist said " Well he talks AT them not to them. " I >> thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks >> right to them like he does to me. >> >> I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him >> a chance to be himself.. >> >> I hate that! >> >> Carolyn ;o( >> >> Angel S See wrote: >> > >> > >> > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 >> > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We >> > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the >> > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. >> > >> > *From:* <mailto:darkumbra@... >> <mailto:darkumbra%40charter.net>> >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > <mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>> >> > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing >> > Certain Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you >> > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety >> > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in >> > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends >> > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt >> > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it >> > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that >> > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat >> > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the >> > logic of what we actually said etc. >> > >> > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t >> > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things >> > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. >> > >> > >> > >> > ---------------------------------------------------------- >> > >> > *From:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > [mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>] *On Behalf Of *Jenn >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain >> > Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of >> > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear >> > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, >> > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in >> > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, >> > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or >> > proportion and get upset. ** >> > >> > * >> > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher >> > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about >> > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not >> > beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill >> > them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent >> > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped >> > the reading. * >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? >> > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? >> > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *Thanks! >> > Jenn* >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 That's good I am glad to hear that. My little grandson just ran into me at the store with his mom and when they were leaving he gave me a big hug, I told him thank you I sure needed that hug. And it was True! Sweet child. Carolyn ;o) Riley wrote: > > > Not all autistic kids lack empathy. In fact, all autisitc kids tend > not to be 'typically autistic' in some areas. > > > > > > >> >> >> Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but >> have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, >> his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three >> kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over >> so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture >> and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I >> was so sad. >> >> Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him >> when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so >> stop it. See what happens. >> >> Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas >> has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side >> of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is >> because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might >> have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you >> fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and >> thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and >> then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, >> but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. >> >> I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the >> list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his >> feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about >> anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they >> fight and he says he is not his friend. >> >> Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on >> that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other >> kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves >> other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other >> kids, and the psychologist said " Well he talks AT them not to them. " I >> thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks >> right to them like he does to me. >> >> I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him >> a chance to be himself.. >> >> I hate that! >> >> Carolyn ;o( >> >> Angel S See wrote: >> > >> > >> > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 >> > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We >> > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the >> > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. >> > >> > *From:* <mailto:darkumbra@... >> <mailto:darkumbra%40charter.net>> >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > <mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>> >> > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing >> > Certain Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you >> > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety >> > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in >> > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends >> > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt >> > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it >> > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that >> > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat >> > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the >> > logic of what we actually said etc. >> > >> > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t >> > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things >> > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. >> > >> > >> > >> > ---------------------------------------------------------- >> > >> > *From:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > [mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>] *On Behalf Of *Jenn >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain >> > Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of >> > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear >> > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, >> > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in >> > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, >> > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or >> > proportion and get upset. ** >> > >> > * >> > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher >> > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about >> > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not >> > beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill >> > them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent >> > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped >> > the reading. * >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? >> > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? >> > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *Thanks! >> > Jenn* >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 That's good I am glad to hear that. My little grandson just ran into me at the store with his mom and when they were leaving he gave me a big hug, I told him thank you I sure needed that hug. And it was True! Sweet child. Carolyn ;o) Riley wrote: > > > Not all autistic kids lack empathy. In fact, all autisitc kids tend > not to be 'typically autistic' in some areas. > > > > > > >> >> >> Yes I have heard lately that asperger's children have no empathy but >> have noticed with my grandson Lucas that he seems to have it just fine, >> his mom says he is the most sensitive and tender hearted of her three >> kids. Like yesterday I was getting a little tired when they stayed over >> so long, and when he told me to shut up when he was drawing his picture >> and I looked real sad and he really looked at me and was worried why I >> was so sad. >> >> Now I am thinking I am going to have a little talk with him and tell him >> when he says shut up to me it hurts my feelings and that makes me sad so >> stop it. See what happens. >> >> Also my grown up son Marty when we take him to the bathroom lately Lucas >> has been coming in to watch and he wanted to know why I sit on the side >> of the tub holding my arm around Marty's shoulders. I told Lucas it is >> because Marty is scared and he gets jerky in the bathroom and he might >> have a seizure so I tell him it is ok don't be scared I won't let you >> fall and pat him on the chest, etc. Lucas was just sooooo amazed and >> thrilled to hear that because he is also afraid of the bathroom, and >> then offered to turn on the light like he does, he turns on two lights, >> but then he said maybe not as that might scare him and didn't. >> >> I don't know if I am noticing this more about him since reading it the >> list when he was evaluated or if he is doing it more. He gets his >> feelings hurt easily also and his brother can get him to do about >> anything if he says he is his friend. He gets really upset when they >> fight and he says he is not his friend. >> >> Just some of my observations lately, some of the things they wrote on >> that observation of him are wrong. Like they said he doesn't like other >> kids, is hostile and that also is very far from the truth, he loves >> other kids. We've observed him many times making friends with other >> kids, and the psychologist said " Well he talks AT them not to them. " I >> thought that was very rude of her and is not right at all! He talks >> right to them like he does to me. >> >> I am a little worried they have pigeon holed him now and won't give him >> a chance to be himself.. >> >> I hate that! >> >> Carolyn ;o( >> >> Angel S See wrote: >> > >> > >> > I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 >> > and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We >> > have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the >> > correct response that they should have or say when something happens. >> > >> > *From:* <mailto:darkumbra@... >> <mailto:darkumbra%40charter.net>> >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > <mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>> >> > *Subject:* RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing >> > Certain Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you >> > almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety >> > and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in >> > particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends >> > to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt >> > out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it >> > wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that >> > restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat >> > again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the >> > logic of what we actually said etc. >> > >> > It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t >> > think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things >> > happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. >> > >> > >> > >> > ---------------------------------------------------------- >> > >> > *From:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > [mailto:autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com>] *On Behalf Of *Jenn >> > *Sent:* Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PM >> > *To:* autism-aspergers >> <mailto:autism-aspergers%40yahoogroups.com> >> > *Subject:* My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain >> > Topics >> > >> > >> > >> > **I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of >> > proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear >> > anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, >> > policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in >> > school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, >> > he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or >> > proportion and get upset. ** >> > >> > * >> > For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher >> > (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about >> > slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not >> > beat them, he lost it! He said, " U mean they beat them up, and kill >> > them?!?! " He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent >> > his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped >> > the reading. * >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? >> > And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? >> > It seems to be getting worse as he gets older.* >> > >> > ** >> > >> > *Thanks! >> > Jenn* >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 what did you try? From: Riley Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 6:54 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics Your son sounds like mine a few years ago. I am not sure if he did learn what we wanted him to because we got through to him or because he eventually figured it out for himself. Some things we are still working on. with my daughter who is autistic is really easy and I can teach her that without a problem. getting her brothers and sisters to understand that it takes on average 6 months for her to learn and retain what we are teaching her is another problem. For my son with aspergers, it is another story. If you try to redirect him or explain to him what his words or actions caused he just starts yelling, putting himself down and we all just end up getting frustrated and not accomplishing anything. when we try to go back later the only response we get from him is ok and we have no idea whether he took in what we said. From: marilyn Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 4:00 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I call it "teaching blue to a blind man". It's so hard to teach what is normally just understood. Marilyn From: Angel S See mailto:angelsue7725@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 5:46 AMSubject: Re: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I too have a difficulty with seeing my kids having no empathy. My 7 and 12 yr old seem to have no empathy and it is hard to deal with. We have to try to teach them what empathy is and then give them the correct response that they should have or say when something happens. From: Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:08 PM To: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics My daughter leaps to the most dramatic interpretation so often you almost get whiplash listening to her. She is on meds now for anxiety and that has soothed this somewhat. It doesn’t have to be anything in particular, just whatever she panics about at that moment (she tends to half pay attention to conversations around her then loudly blurt out whatever word/phrase caught her attention usually getting it wrong). For example my husband will say to me “I’m not going to that restaurant again†and she will blurt out “we’re never going out to eat again????!!!!†Then we have to calm her down and take her through the logic of what we actually said etc. It does sound like your child has a lot of empathy though and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I mean my daughter giggles when bad things happen to people in stories so I kinda envy you. From: autism-aspergers [mailto: autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of JennSent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 12:26 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: My Son Is Sensitive To Hearing Certain Topics I am just wondering if any of your kids blow things out of proportion when they hear certain topics? My son does not like to hear anything that has to do with someone getting hurt, the military, policemen, wars, or slavery, etc. Even if he is learning about it in school. Whenever he does, he will add things to it (that are not true, he is just assuming it's true), and completely blow it out or proportion and get upset. For example, he is doing summer school with his Special Ed teacher (thru his online charter school). Today they were reading about slavery, and then when heard about that someone's owner did not beat them, he lost it! He said, "U mean they beat them up, and kill them?!?!" He totally melted down, and refused to read anymore. I sent his teacher a message, saying he was upset about it, and she stopped the reading. I am just wondering if this is common for our kids to think this way? And if so, is there anyway to help them think through it differently? It seems to be getting worse as he gets older. Thanks!Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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