Re: Family Acceptance

[Guest guest]

Family acceptance is a tough issue, especially when you have a child with an

" invisible " disability. And if a child is smart academically, it is almost

beyond belief that the child should struggle in other areas. The thought is

that he/she is being willful.

I'm sure we are dealing with generational attitudes in some cases. As a 40+

aged mom, my own mom and grandparents grew up with a " behind closed doors "

attitude. You just didn't talk about it. As a child there was a cousin who I

was never allowed to go by and who was shuffled from one room to another. Only

into adulthood I learned that she had schizophrenia. We lived with my

grandmother who had grand mal seizures and that was never explained to me. It

was just something scary Grandma did from time to time.

On another level, I think denial comes from the thought of having a poor family

line. It's better to think that you are crazy for thinking your child has a

disability. It's a fear response, especially for adult siblings. If your child

has a disability, the implication is that you are defective, which means your

brother or sister may be defective too.

In my own family, my parents were in denial for the first six months. But I

would tell them what therapies he was involved with and how it helped him. They

live nearby so they could see the progress he made. It also helped to kind of

teach them how to interact with my son so they could have a relationship with

him. My youngest sister even became an occupational therapist because of my son

and watching him do therapy when he was little.

Both sides of our family have been supportive over the years including the

extended family. I think there's been enough awareness on TV that autism can be

talked about. It's no longer a scary topic to discuss. --Dawn